New Feelings
New Feelings
Dancing. HanGeng never had enough of it. He would wake up before the sun had even risen, and jogged down to the school, just to get into the studio. Then after school, he would be there until dinner time with the dance team. Dancing was really his life. He loved how the beats and rhythms flowed throughout his body, creating a perfect state of being. It never reminded him he was an orphan, dancing wasn’t prejudice. He thought he had never needed any more than dancing until he met him…
Siwon was always a hard working student, always focused on studies. He always had his head in his books and never seemed to have time for anything else. He had to study to get into a good university, get a good job, and help his family. Siwon wanted nothing more than to help his mother and younger brother live the life they should have lived. He was living for nothing more until he discovered this chinese dancer…
They met, walking along the campus, Siwon was reading a book while walking, and HanGeng had his headphones on, neither was paying attention. Then they abruptly collided, and Siwon being the larger of the two, toppled on top of HanGeng. He groaned and rolled off of the smaller man beneath him. HanGeng shrugged off the textbook that was sandwiching his face, and sat up slowly feeling a bit like a bug.
“What are you made of? Bricks?” HanGeng said lightly while chuckling.
“Oh I am so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention” Siwon said while lower his head.
HanGeng merely chuckled some more, stood up and outstretched a hand towards Siwon, giving him a warm smile.
“It’s okay, I wasn’t paying attention either, my head is eternally up in the clouds” he said while pointing to the sky.
Siwon looked up at him oddly, took his hand and stood up slowly.
HanGeng kneelt down and picked up the textbook, and that was laying awkwardly on the ground.
“Here you go. By the way, my name is HanGeng.”
Siwon was still fairly new to this meeting new people thing, having only a few friends himself, and always studying, didn’t quite make him the epitome of a social butterfly.
“umm… hi. My name is Siwon.” Siwon mumbled.
“Oh Siwon, nice name. What year are you?”
“hmm 3rd”
“Oh the same as me!” HanGeng elated.
“Oh? Have you decided what university you are going to?” Siwon asked hesitantly, but surprised he had managed to pose a question.
“Yonsei. I passed the audition into their performance department. How about you?”
“Ah…um. That’s also where I am going. I’ll be in the business department”
HanGeng suddenly grasped his hand and smiled widely.
“Then we should be friends! Since we are going to the same university. Well I gotta go to dance team now. It was nice talking to you Siwon, ill see you tomorrow…” HanGeng trailed off as he started walking towards the gym.
Siwon wasn’t entirely sure what just happened but it felt nice and a warm feeling started creeping up in his chest…
~~
“Siwon!” his mother yelled.
“yes?” he asked as he popped his head out of his room.
“I have to work today, you need to take your brother, Yesung to meet with his friends.” His mother dictated.
“Moooooooom. I can go myself, don’t bother hyung he is studying” Yesung whined.
“Says the 15 year old boy who wears his glasses upside down, plus your brother needs to get out, it’s a Sunday” his mother responded coolly.
Yesung pouted in the corner where he was getting ready to put on his shoes.
“yeah I’ll take him. I need to go to the library anyway.” Siwon replied stoically.
His mother approached him and started pinching his cheeks.
“What am I going to do with you? You need to go have some fun, not hang around dusty tomes all the time” his mother said in a worried tone.
“Araso…” Siwon mumbled.
He and Yesung left the house, and slowly made their way towards the movie theaters.
“Hyung you seriously need to find something better to do than study.Why do you just study?”Yesung asked with a serious face.
“Because I have to make sure you and mother will live a long good life, that’s why” Siwon said as he ruffled Yesung’s hair.
Yesung giggled a bit seeing a bit of his old hyung again.
“Sure sure Yesungie. Oh who are you meeting today?” he asked as he pinched Yesung’s cheek.
“My friends Ryeowook and Henry. Remember them?” Yesung responded while trying to fend off his hyung’s attack on his cheeks.
“Oh yes. They are in your class.”
“Hyung you need some close friends, academic friends Do. Not. Count.” He made his point by poking Siwon’s shoulder.
Siwon’s mind flashed to the memory of his encounter with HanGeng. That warm feeling, was it friendship.
Yesung was now jumping up and down in front of Siwon to get his attention after he spaced out. Siwon snapped back into reality.
“Hyung this is far enough I can see my friends from here. Have a good day. Go do something fun. For me?” Yesung begged him with puppy eyes.
“Alright go have fun Yesung” he replied as he shooed his younger brother away.
They met eyes for a second, and HanGeng held up a hand, that Siwon interpreted as wait. Siwon continued watching his raven hair bounce up and down with the movements, his body swerve and wave with the music. It was a bit sad when they had finished dancing, the audience applauded and disbursed. Siwon stood there until HanGeng came gliding to where he was.
“Oh it was awesome” he said smiling.
“You have dimples when you smile! You should smile more often. From now on I’ll make you smile more, so I can see them” HanGeng said matter-of-factly.
“Hey it’s still early afternoon. You want to go to a café or something?” HanGeng asked softly.
“Great!” the smaller male exclaimed.
He grabbed Siwon’s hand and took the lead.
~~
“ummm well. I am not really good at talking with people, but I can talk well with you for some reason. I really haven’t had any friends. I study a lot so I can get a good job and help my family. I live with my mother and little brother Yesung” he stated.
“Oh Yesung is your little brother? He comes and visits Henry a lot.” HanGeng replied happily.
“Do you live in Henry’s neighborhood?” Siwon inquired.
“Not exactly, Henry lives in the orphanage with me” HanGeng’s face fell a little.
“If this is too awkward you can push away at anytime” Siwon said in a whisper.
Siwon started humming softly to comfort the poor soul. He wasn’t quite sure why he wanted badly to comfort HanGeng but he knew he had too. HanGeng let a tear escape his eye, it dripped onto Siwon’s collarbone only to be absorbed by cloth. He pulled back, wiping his eyes with his sleeves, looking at Siwon through slightly puffy eyes.
“Sure. Where are we going?” he replied carefully.
“You will see when we get there” HanGeng got up and pulled Siwon with him, they walked out of the café, their hands still interlaced…
~~
His hands were on HanGeng’s shoulders, he could smell a sweet scent coming from all around him.
“Almost”
HanGeng had stopped walking, and he stepped forward, letting Siwon’s hands fall from his shoulders. Siwon held up his hands and grabbed the air, not daring to move.
“I always avoided making friendships because one day they might just abandon you, like my father did to my family. I had to take charge of the house when I was only 12 years old, and help raise Yesung. It hurt a lot when my father did that, I never wanted to experience that pain ever again.” Siwon said slowly, his tone slowly becoming dimmer at the memory of those lonely nights, he would cry.
HanGeng put his arms around Siwon’s neck and pulled him into another kiss. This one lasted longer. Their mouths moved perfectly against each other, like they were made for each other. Each of their hearts racing, as they pulled back for air.
“I know how you feel, because it’s the same with me.” HanGeng replied.
“I never thought I needed more than books to live my life” he said thoughtfully.
“And I never thought I needed anything more than dancing”
They both laughed lightly as they looked into each other’s eyes.
“Hannie I think, I like- wait like isn’t deep enough… I know it's you I love you HanGeng” Siwon said with an expression of happiness.
HanGeng turned towards him and gently kissed him once again.
“I love you too Siwon and it will forever always be you”
The end…..
Comments