“Tell you what?” You sat there, look so calm as ever

“I’m sure you know where my words turn into” I smile once again to calm my heart

“Ah… the wedding isn’t it? Yeah, you know… I was so busy back there. No time” You stand and walk away

“So goodbye this time?” Then you stopped

“What?” You turn around and face me

“So goodbye this time?” I asked you one more time

“What are you talking about?“ You said, confused

“Well. Be happy my friend. Hope she’s the best for you” I said and get my feet out from your flat

“Wait!”  You grasp my wrist tightly. I close my eyes.  Prevent my tears to rolling down

“Where are you going?” You said sternly

“I don’t know. I can’t go back to the past can I?” I know, It’s not the answer for your question. Nor it’s a question. It’s sounds more like a words to reassuring myself

That the past is gone. It’s buried a hundred feet below us. It’s never happen again.

“You know… I don’t want to say this. But I have to. I don’t want hide anything from you. You’re my best buddy after all” I chuckled. Pathetic isn’t I ?

“I love you” I said. But you keep silent

“I mean… I used to love you” I face you and smile

It’s hard for me to hold my tears. It’s really do.

“I.. I never know It” You said, you was taken aback. Some reaction that I already expected

“Nevermind. It’s not like I still love you anyway” Lie. I lied myself.

“No… if.. if only I knew it before I met her. Maybe it was you” You look me in the eyes. I can see your pain inside. What’s happen?

“Me? What?” I was so lost in your eyes.

“Bride. My bride. You.. I thought you love that Jiyong guy” you cupped my face softly. Ah.. so warm

“Hyunseung do you still love me?” You asked me. There’s a little hope in your voice. Maybe I can hope too

“I… what if I say yes?” Your eyes glint with a joy. A smile form in your face

“I’ll divorce. And marry you instead” You announce me with amusement laced in your voice

“Then I’ll say no. I don’t love you anymore Junhyung” I took off his hand from my face

“What? why?” Your eyes lose that shine in instant

“Listen Junhyung. We are both men. Man and man can’t married each other. We’re both grown up man. We should face reality” I reassuring him even if I want to said that I love him till death. But I hold myself

“Even if you love me?” You asked for sincerity. You know me the best aren’t you Yong Junhyung?

"Even if I love you” I said

Then my tears bursting out. I lose my control. I let myself cried. I let my tears out.

“Junhyung you know… actually this is the last time we’ll meet” I choked at my words

“What do you mean?” You asked as you hug me tightly

“Because my doctor said this is my last day to make decision” I smiled and buried my head deeper to your chest

“What decision?” you caressed my back dearly. Ah.. I really miss your scent. Your warmth

“Whether I want to take my fifth operation or not” Then I feel your body tensed

“What operation Seung?!” You pushed me. Make me look your handsome face

“I got a cancer Junhyung-ah. I answered weakly” I start to lose my conscious

“Then.. should you in the hospital right now?” your tears start to flowing down

“Yes Junnie” I smiled as I wipe your tears

“How? “Your voice cracking, your hand loosen

“I manage to escape. I pull out my wire. Anything that infused my body. Ant it’s worth enough Junhyung-ah. it’s worth my live to see you again” I caressed your chubby cheek lovingly

“Babo! Why are you so stupid Jang Hyunseung!? Why.. why.. “ you finally burst into tears. You hug me again. even more tight this time

“Because I already made my decision” I hug you back. God this feeling really suffocating me. I’m barely breath

“I decide to not take the operation. I decide to lose my life in your arms”  I stuttered. I really can’t breath. I feel so dizzy. God.. is this really my time to go?

“What!? why!? Why jang Hyunseung !?” you ask me angrily. I don’t know. But I feel so happy to know you’ll get angry towards me like this. I fell so.. so accepted. So loved by you. The man that I’ll never stop loving

“I’m tired Junhyung-ah. I’m really tired. I don’t want to suffer again. I don’t want to suffer more. I know my life not gonna get longr even if I take the operation. I just wanna rest Junhyung-ah” I really do. I can’t bear this pain any longer Junhyung-ah. I rather die than bear this pain any longer

“No-no.. no! don’t say something like that Hyunseung! I’ll take you to hospital right now!” you demand. But I have to stop you. I have to

“Just let me go Junhyung. Just let me rest” I hug you even tight to let you go

“Junhyung.. please” I pleaded. You sighed and sit down next to me. You put my head on your lap

“Junhyung..” I tug your shirt

“Yes my love?” You smiled as your tears keep flowing down

“Would you like to sing for me? And said that you love me?”You nodded and begin to sing

The mysterious end of that season
I think, did I really love you?
Somewhere, all those times that we were together
I look back to those times, as if I could touch it, as if it was yesterday

Each moment, I think of you
That voice that quietly rang with a low tone
Even your resemblance to the spring sunlight
You always brightly shined on my day

Each moment, I think of you
That voice that quietly rang with a low tone
Even your resemblance to the spring sunlight
Even the small memories are still so clear

Where are we?
I look back at all those memories
Were we happy?
Only unknown feelings remain in the same place

Where are we?
Were we happy?

“I love you Jang Hyunseung” You said between your tears. And then you bend down and our lips meet. The moment I have wait for such a long time. Now it all paid. My waiting are worth.. worth everything. Even my life.

Junhyung-ah.. thank you very  much. Thank you for return my love. Even if it’s happen only in the end of my life. Indeed we’re happy back there. Long ago before we grown up. And yes, we also felt pain in the past. But now.. I feel happy. And that’s the matter.

I regret nothing. I’ve done what I should. I’ve said what I would. I’ve been loved by the man that I love very much. I regret nothing in this life. This is my happy ending story. Even if in my story I would never live happily ever after like those fairy tales has told me when I was young, but I still regret nothing.

“Thank you Junhyung-ah. so… goodbye this time” I kissed you once again.