This story is inspired by Kai and his 6 goddamn Macbooks that he got for his birthday, lucky bastard. Hope you like it.

It all started when our (former ) star, Kai, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the third time it had happened. Feeling ridiculously displeased, Kai grabbed a potato, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, he realized that his beloved iPad was missing! Immediately he called his bed-friend, 6 Macbooks. Kai had known 6 Macbooks for (plus or minus) one million years, the majority of which were enchanting ones. 6 Macbooks was unique. He was easygoing though sometimes a little... clueless. Kai called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

6 Macbooks picked up to a very ecstatic Kai. 6 Macbooks calmly assured him that most disease-carrying chipmunks sneeze before mating, yet albino cats usually earnestly sneeze *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Kai. Why was 6 Macbooks trying to distract Kai? Because he had snuck out from Kai's with the iPad only four days prior. It was an enchanting little iPad... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Kai got back to the subject at hand: his iPad. 6 Macbooks belched. Relunctantly, 6 Macbooks invited him over, assuring him they'd find the iPad. Kai grabbed his whale and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, 6 Macbooks realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the iPad and he had to do it recklessly. He figured that if Kai took the tricked out go kart, he had taken at least eight minutes before Kai would get there. But if he took the Segway, then 6 Macbooks would be alarmingly screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, 6 Macbooks was interrupted by eleven clueless marmots that were lured by his iPad. 6 Macbooks turned red; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling angered, he deftly reached for his ninja star and randomly punched every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the swamp, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Segway rolling up. It was Kai.

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of ninja stars, so he knew he was running late. With a apt leap, Kai was out of the Segway and went charismatically jaunting toward 6 Macbooks's front door. Meanwhile inside, 6 Macbooks was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the iPad into a box of wolverines and then slid the box behind his elephant. 6 Macbooks was relieved but at least the iPad was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' 6 Macbooks sassily purred. With a heroic push, Kai opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some insensitive spite-toting jerk in a neighborhood-terrorizing crotch rocket,' he lied. 'It's fine,' 6 Macbooks assured him. Kai took a seat mysteriously distant from where 6 Macbooks had hidden the iPad. 6 Macbooks panicked trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Kai was distracted. Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, 6 Macbooks noticed a pestering look on Kai's face. Kai slowly opened his mouth to speak.
 

6 Macbooks felt a stabbing pain in his scalp when Kai asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the iPad right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A oafish look started to form on Kai's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dull pencils from when she used to have pet spotted wolf hamsters. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Kai nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before 6 Macbooks could react, Kai recklessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The iPad was plainly in view.
 

Kai stared at 6 Macbooks for what what must've been three seconds. In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, 6 Macbooks d earnestly in Kai's direction, clearly desperate. Kai grabbed the iPad and bolted for the door. It was locked. 6 Macbooks let out a sassy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Kai,' he rebuked. 6 Macbooks always had been a little selfish, so Kai knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before 6 Macbooks did something crazy, like... start chucking wolverines at him or something. A few freaknasty minutes later, he gripped his iPad tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
 

6 Macbooks looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Kai. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame seven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Kai. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. 6 Macbooks walked over to the window and looked down. Kai was gone.
 

Just yonder, Kai was struggling to make his way through the bush behind 6 Macbooks's place. Kai had severely hurt his fingernail during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral marmots suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the iPad. One by one they latched on to Kai. Already weakened from his injury, Kai yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of marmots running off with his iPad.
 

But then God came down with His clever smile and restored Kai's iPad. Feeling displeased, God smote the marmots for their injustice. Then He got in His spaceship and darted away with the fortitude of half a million long-haired sea monkeys running from a little pack of legless puppies. Kai ran with joy when he saw this. His iPad was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in eight minutes his favorite TV show, Two and a Half Men, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When long-haired sea monkeys meet hand grenade'). Kai was jubilant. And so, everyone except 6 Macbooks and a few rusty razor blade-toting long-haired sea monkeys lived blissfully happy, forever after.

My first ever oneshot! DONE! I hoped you liked it.

Do look at my other stories: