It was after seven frustrating years when Jiyong came back to Seoul straight from New York to attend their high school grand reunion with high hope to see someone.

Dashing with his handsome suit on a starry night, he went out of his Ferrari as he walked his way towards the social hall located at the heart of their alma mater’s campus.

On his way, he was feeling this rather odd and unusual anxiety but he somehow ignored it.

The sight of the campus brought back the memories he had in this school. He smiles whenever he remembers the time he cried over some rejections as well as the time he laughed hard, pulling on pranks with his Big Bang peers. But his smile faded when he remembered one particular person.

He suddenly felt nostalgic. And for some reason, his eyes darted around until it landed on the girl behind him.

Still with her bright smile, she approached him and said “Annyeonghaseyo Jiyong-sshi, it’s been years since we last met”

Time stood still as he kept on staring on the familiar figure standing near him. His heart skipped a beat then began racing. It brought back the feelings. His feelings for her. His ex-girlfriend – Park Sandara. She’s still gorgeous as she was before.

He’s still in daze but he was able to respond to her greetings, he bowed down and was about to ask her a question. But when he stood straight she was nowhere to be seen. She left without any other words.

 

His interaction with her left him with piles of unanswered thoughts.

In spite of her sudden disappearance, he remained firm on his decision to look for her during the celebration of their batch’s reunion.

------

Jiyong saw his old companions and chat for quite some time. Everyone was rejoicing. Except for him. He was silently searching for her but to no avail, he saw not even a glimpse of her. Did she already left?

 

His curiosity about Dara’s recent whereabouts conquered his mind. Then without a second thought he suddenly asked his friends, “How far along is she?”

Not being able to understand whom he is talking about, Seungri frowned as well as the others, he asked Jiyong back, “Who hyung?”

“You know, Dara”

“D-Dara? S-Sandara Par-Park?” the maknae stuttered which frightened Jiyong a bit but he nodded anyways.

There was silence afterwards until Daesung took the courage to tell the innocent Jiyong.

As Seunghyun tapped Jiyong gently on his shoulder, Daesung uttered, “Ji-Hyung, Dara noona is dead. She died a year after you left us without notice”

“She took her life after a serious series of depression” Youngbae added.

Unable to utter a word, he was shocked to his core that he couldn’t even move.

“It was a suicide hyung, six years ago after graduation”

He stiffened as small drops of liquid fell from his eyes. Bitterly sobbing, his knees wobbled, shaking like hell. How cruel of him to left her with that damn depression. He was an to left her just like that.

Ill feelings of disgust to oneself corrupted his being.

It was painful for him to left her seven years ago thinking that it was for the betterment of their future but now, it was gone. No more Dara. No more brighter future. His heart ache rather painful that he wanted to ripped his chest and took out his heart and smashed it whole.

 

 “I used to love her back then” Seunghyun uttered.

Youngbae heave a sigh then blurted, “Me too”

 “Wait! Didn’t Dara noona-“ the maknae was cut off when Daesung continued his sentence with his happy grin, “..burried a letter for Ji hyung??!”

 

“Oh, yeah! You’re right!” Youngbae agreed as he looked at Jiyong, “It was beneath the tree where you both used to date”

Hearing this, Jiyong ran out and searched for that big old tree. He dig out every possible place under the tree then he finally found it.

 

It was inside a wooden box. He took a sit and read the letter immediately after opening it. Basing from the date on it, Jiyong noticed that it was written on the same date as today; only the difference is that, it was inscribed six years ago.

Dearest Jiyong,

            Not knowing if you’d come back or not, I still wrote this letter. I wished you’ll be reading this though even after so many years. I want you to realize some things. Something better explained, far from foul words.

            Yes I am dead. I was dying inside right after you left. My soul left me the moment you said goodbye.

            You knew that I was a bit different before you met me. I always hate boys. I know you knew that but you’ve never asked for the reason. Now I’m going to share some reasons to you.

            I hate your species because most of your kind turned me down. I always ended up crying. Boys! Hul! I am surrounded by most of them. I have my foster father who do nothing but drink liquor and make me and my mother cry a lot. I have my brother who keeps on beating me until I break one of my bones whenever I couldn’t give him money from my part time job. My teacher who throws flirting glances at me to the point of harassing me ually. If not because of the help of your gang that day, that bastard could have me.

I was a loner back then shutting myself from society, totally convincing myself that I couldn’t trust anyone and that all boys are the same.

            But then you came and showed me a different sight. You loved me and made me realized that I just misunderstood your kind. I had my renewed strength all thanks to you and to our love.

Do you still remember when you first told me that you love me? I’ve never felt so blessed until that day when you said those. Remember when you promised that you’ll always stay by my side?

….

Jiyong gasped and cussed loudly with tears falling freely down his cheeks, unable to contain the hurt he’s feeling. He calmed his self for a while then continued reading. .

….

‘Your words I took them with me anywhere I go. I was happy not until you broke me and shattered me apart, pieces to pieces. How could you do that to me? You broke your promise effortlessly.

I never thought that you were like them. You’re still one of them.

You’ve left.

It was easy fall in love with you. . . to love someone like you. But it was damn hard to fall out of love and forget you.

Now I may take my eternal slumber, yet my heart continues to love and somehow protect you in return.

Mianhae I left ahead of you already, I couldn’t stand the pain in my heart brought about by your absence Ji. Being dead is far better than living a life without you.

 I love you Jiyong, always. ’

…

He did nothing but cry under the old tree where all his memory with her was.

He was one hella stupid Kwon Jiyong for believing in lies. He believed in his mother who said that she’ll take care of his girl in his absence but in return, he should break up with her for a while and cut his contact to his high school peers then concentrate on his college studies.

But now what?

There’s no more sunlight to his gloomy life. No more Sandara Park.

The pain was eating him, out his soul.

Like a pen without an ink, his being is without a soul.

 

As he stood up with a weak strength, a pencil suddenly dropped out of the wooden box. He frowned then picked up the pencil, it had a few words carved on its body.

It says ‘a wish erases & rewrites the past’.

His brows furrowed further after he read it. Thinking that it was just a group of nonsense words he threw it away.

--------

Jiyong came back to his apartment dead tired and drunk. He dropped his body on the bed but then something pricked his side. Checking, it turns out to be a pencil but not an ordinary pencil.

It was the exact pencil he threw back at the campus.

He suddenly felt sober as if his drunken state suddenly vanished. Not thinking straight, he started talking to the pencil, he spoke in a slurred tone, “Given the chance would you erase and rewrite my past?”

He even leaned closer to the pencil as if he’s listening to it then chuckled. Slowly, he’s getting desperately insane.

Shrugging his shoulder, he muttered “Might as well try it”

He read as he wrote some words on a paper using the pencil, ‘I wish to go back twelve years ago’

 

Moment later, he was startled and closed his eyes as he felt his surrounding vibrating out of the blue.

And when he opened his eyes after everything calm down, he found himself sitting inside a bus wearing his freshman high school uniform.

“I must be out of my mind” he blurted thinking that he drank too much for him to handle.

But then his thoughts were cut off when he saw her wearing her high school uniform with her brown hair in a tight bun. Her face was still as innocent as it was. He gaped at her as he watched her sit next to him. He wrapped her immediately in his arms, embracing her tiny figure.

 

“Dara don’t leave me again” he muttered under his breath silently thanking god and the wishing pencil for this chance.

“I’m sorry but how did you know my name?” she asked, freeing herself from his hold.

 

He smiled.

If this was a dream he’d rather be dreaming forever.

 

 

THE END

**********

So yeah, I decided to make this a one shot fic..

Thanks for reading!!:)

 

Love,

~Crazy Appler -C.Y.S.~