You reached for your phone and scanned his text messages. You wanted to slap yourself for being such a fool for even thinking that a guy like him would like you back.

But you were somehow convinced that for once, a guy like him liked someone like you.

He wasn’t the flirty type you usually see outside the classroom.

He was the guy who’d sit beside you when you were lonely, the one who’d offer his seat to you when you didn’t have one, the one who’d keep you company, the one you’d get along well without the barriers of the opposite .

He was everything to the nothing. The everywhere to the nowhere.

He didn’t even reach your standards.

Yet there was something about him that made you gave your number a few weeks ago.

That Saturday afternoon texting was followed by a Sunday texting.

You remembered everything perfectly.

You were bored with the party but even though he wasn’t with you, you felt like he was.

Because he was texting you, replying so fast, you thought he wasn’t busy.

It was 7 in the evening when he asked how you were doing.

You told him the party was boring and you had nothing to do.

What he replied was the most nerve-wracking moment you’ll never forget for the rest of your life.

“Do you want me to call you?”

Soccer player Luhan, age of 18 years old, quite a charm to the opposite , wanted to call you.

He asked if you wanted him to call you.

And because you had nothing to do, of course you agreed.

You practiced inside your head what possible questions you’d ask if you answered the phone. Everything was going to run smoothly, you hoped.

But the moment your phone rang and you answered, all the questions were thrown outside the window.

He sounded as nervous as you were and there was nothing you heard besides his voice.

Screw your eommoni who was sitting across you.

Yes, you talked.

But the topic was about mathematics.

He was studying. Yet he was talking to you at the same time.

How the hell was he going to do two important things at the same time?

After 15 minutes of talking, you dropped the phone call and spent the entire time jumping around like madman.

You both kept texting.

Until Monday morning arrived and you both had classes.

You were block mates.

You were blushing furiously while you told one of your best friends about him and those two long days you spent texting and calling each other.

Then a Luhan appears in the room and a tint of pink, you guessed, creep his cheeks.

You avoided his eyes and felt your mind being wheeled into another dimension, your heart skipping a beat and your palms becoming sweatier.

You looked up and watched him put his bag on his chair. His eyes turned to your direction and met your eyes and for a moment, you swear, it was only you and him inside that room.

He smiled and shyly waved at you and you mimicked his gesture.

That afternoon, it was your PE class and you were being teased by all your friends.

Luhan was acting like your boyfriend.

But the problem was, he really wasn’t one.

You continued texting each other and it was funny because you were both staying inside one room.

“You know what?”  He texted you.

“What?”

“We’re both staying inside one room yet we continue texting each other.”

You chuckled. You looked up from your screen to watch him smile at you.

“You’re too far from me.”  You replied.

“Then can I sit beside you?”  He asked.

Your hands became cold with sweat. Your heart began to hammer wildly inside your chest.

“Sure.” You replied.

You waited for him to read your message and you wanted to run away when you saw him breathe in. Sharply.

He slowly excused himself from his friends and stood up. He made his way to you and sat.

You immediately felt all eyes on you.

And you both talked, after Park Chanyeol arrived and became a .

You were thankful for Chanyeol’s presence, yet you wanted to let him leave because he was destroying the moment between you and Luhan.

After the class, Luhan asked you to wait for him.

He wanted to go home with you.

You walked together, with two of your friends and his friends tagging along.

His group was behind yours and you heard hushed voices talking behind your back.

“…It’s still too early…”

“…We’re still freshmen…”

“…Get to know better…”

It was Chanyeol’s voice talking, Luhan was just listening. But you swear you could hear the 'but' in Luhan's silence.

And your friends were busy talking about someone else.

He failed to walk you home that day.

Because another friend of his, gave him a ride.

But you still continued to text each other.

Although the next day, he didn’t greet you a texted “good morning (: “

He avoided the usual conversation and you were the one running after him.

You were knotty. Your friends were worried.

They were also convinced Luhan liked you too. Of course, simply because he acted like a boyfriend.

He was like a boyfriend.

He stopped texting.

It continued until the first half of the second semester ended.

It was already Christmas vacation.

You waited. You patiently waited for anything, a miracle, any enlightenment, to happen.

Nothing did.

You tried sending him other things, to let him know he was the guy you kept talking about.

But it wasn’t working.

Until Christmas day.

It was unexpected and you lost all hope.

He texted you a “Merry Christmas (: “

You practically wanted to shout at him for being so late and lame.

And you were both back on track.

The sweetness meter was even higher than the usual.

Or that was what you think it was.

Because he blurted out that he was interested with someone right now.

And you thought it was you.

It was a Thursday night, you still kept texting and you went to the hospital to have your knees checked because your taekwondo partner had injured you.

Luhan said he wasn’t going to sleep unless you arrived home safely.

And when you did, he wanted to call you.

For a moment, you thought he was going to confess.

You wanted to tell him the words you’ve kept to yourself for a very long time.

But you fought your feeling and told him you couldn’t answer the call he wanted to make.

You couldn’t tell him that your eommoni was watching you.

The next day, the same routine was done.

And your friends were already so happy for you.

You expected something to happen.

He might confess.

But that's the only word that kept you expecting, "might".

Until you asked the question you regret asking in the first place.

“Who’s the girl you’re interested in?”

It took him a long time to give you a reply.

“She’s from another block.”

You almost dropped your phone.

You got it all wrong. Because it wasn’t you all along.

No more, no less.

Tears instantly fell from your eyes.

Very stupid of you, very very stupid.

That night, you slept earlier than the usual.

You stopped texting him.

You ignored his last text.

And you cried yourself to sleep.

You convinced yourself that you might be too dramatic now but tomorrow, you’d laugh your head off about this and you’d forget.

You’d forget him.

It was noon.

You put back your phone inside the drawer. It was meaningless again.

Of all the possible persons to fall for,

You fell for a block mate.

It wasn’t his fault.

Maybe he was being too gentleman and all and he forgot girls like you fall for guys like him. Maybe he just wanted to be closer to you and he figured out doing those things would make you open up.

Was it your fault?

Yes, it was partly yours.

Because you expected too much from him and you zoomed in too much, you forgot yourself and your pride. You forgot who you were for a short while and you neglected the presence of those people that mattered more.

You dreamt too much, you wanted too much, and you were greedy.

You slapped yourself.

You didn’t deserve to be loved.

Of course guys like Luhan belonged to prettier girls.

I’m not even pretty.

But he also has the blame.

It was his fault for trying to be close to you.

He acted like a boyfriend. He acted like someone who couldn’t afford to lose someone like you. He acted all glorious and almighty. He impressed you too much. He pampered you too much.

And for once, you thought, he liked you.

But he didn’t.

He likes another girl from another block, babo.

You heard something ring.

It was your phone.

You tried to ignore it.

Maybe Luhan was the one calling.

But why would he call?

You don’t even mean something to him.

Not for once.

You got the phone and got it wrong because it was him who was calling.

You breathed in sharply.

“Hello?” You answered. You heard him exhale.

“I have something to say.” He said.

He’s going to apologize and tell me he doesn’t like me.

“Let me tell you something first.” You inserted, preventing any tears from spilling.

A second passed. “Okay.” He croaked.

“Don’t be too kind. I don’t want you anywhere near me. Don’t act like you care, don’t bother caring, don’t act like nothing’s wrong, don’t tell me you want to be friends with me. Don’t say anything. Don't do anything.” You told him.

“W…what are you saying?” He asked, dumbfounded.

“Stop acting like a boyfriend, Luhan. Because the more you do, the more I fall for you.” You spilled the same time as your tears did.

The call wasn’t dropped, Luhan was still listening.

“I like you. And I won’t hide it from you. But you don’t have to worry, because the next time we see each other, I won’t.”

“I won’t like you anymore.” You told him and you dropped the call.

It not like you wanted him around you. He wasn’t your boyfriend so why should he act like one?

You were bushed, tired, weary, exhausted, and worn-off. You’d be more than that if you didn’t tell him how you felt.

You were giving up. You didn’t deserve this.

I shouldn’t have rushed to conclusions. I should have waited just a bit more.

You cried again, letting the tears fall from your eyes.

The same time you did, you let him go.

- fin