Jiyong can tell that his hyung is afraid.

He isn’t sure what or why but something makes the man so distant, like everything and everyone could only harm him these days, as if his presence solely based on insecurities.

He could remember it well how shocked he is when he met the other man after a long time never meeting each other. He always knew that his hyung is a victim of his own deep thinking, he feels too much and somehow quite miserable because of it but never this… pitiful.

His eyes scream hopelessness that Jiyong surely hates.

Jiyong wished he could ask the older man casually like he could do to Seungri but this is Choi Seunghyun, their relationship is different, full of unspoken rules that both of them acknowledged and never interrupted each other’s problem is one of them.

So, he’s waiting now, not that he likes it this way but forcing the man to talk is simply the worst thing to do in this situation. He needs to gain his trust, not scaring him.

Just like taking care of kid, Jiyong patiently watching him over.

He is sure enough Seunghyun feels his stares towards him. Sometimes the man looks at him too but slowly drifted away from his, like terrified that Jiyong could find that spot he tried so hard to hide.

Soft and tiny wrinkles between his eyebrows indicated that he has been observe people a lot, he aware a lot of things that people think he never knew and somehow, in that process of knowing about other people, he kinda forget that there’s a lot of people that taking interest at him too.

And those people, just could only sigh at how hard it is to get what he thinks, or why he acts like that. They get migraines a lot and Jiyong knows it so well because of course because he’s one of those people, thank you very much.

But this older man, he stays silent and it worried Jiyong to death.

---

It started since Daesung’s accident or maybe way back before they debuted as Big Bang or maybe since he successfully came out as solo artist three years ago or when they were a duo.

Maybe it just started now but anyhow, the more he tried to find the trigger the more blank he gets so he simply stopped.

Yet, the image of his hyung being so miserable can’t leave his mind and it’s been 2 months since he last saw him or even contacted him personally, and his natural impatient self slowly comes out and he isn’t like it even a bit.

And to tell truth, he just need to push the call button on his phone now and try to talk but that might-happens awkwardness or that blank moment when he couldn’t find a topic to talk is the one that seriously could kill him.

Because how could he want to save someone when having a conversation itself feel so impossible?

It’s just stupid.

“ Back to earth”

He looked around the room and finally found the source of the familiar voice, “ Hey, hyung.” Giving him a polite yet awkward smile that makes the other man snickered, “ Dickhead. “ as he backs to the computer, trying to find some good melodies to intrigued his creative mind.

Jiyong looked at his respected hyung, Teddy, in uncertain feeling like he wants to talk about something but has no idea how to explain or actually what so he shut his mouth up which definitely not an option because it’s Teddy, he knows when things goes wrong so Jiyong could only sigh and answer when the other man said, “ Throw it out. No matter how stupid it is, it’s better to talk it out.”

And he’s not even turned around to see him, his eyes stay on the monitor, his fingers keep moving busily.

“ I don’t know.” Not intently to speak in weak voice, it just comes out like that.

“ And?” Stay cool, no even affected with his tone. “ You look like and you know nothing? or because you know nothing you feel like ?”

He stays silent, “ I just feel like .” And sighed, “ Have you heard anything from Tabi?”

Teddy ignores him for a minute before, “ He phoned me 3 days ago, asking me If I could go out with him tonight and I said I couldn’t because I already promised you.”

“ And?”

“ And he said he’s coming.”