I stared out the window as I admired the flurries of snow swirling outside. I didn’t exactly like how cold it was outside, but the snow was something I always looked forward to in the winter.

“Ilhoon!” the teacher shouted and slammed her book shut. I turned my head toward the front then to Ilhoon who sat in the back row. I sat in the row in front of his, but on the opposite side from where he was. He was caught talking to his friends again as he sat back in his seat with his arms crossed.

“Yes?”

“Stop talking! You keep interrupting the lesson, and the next time you talk, I’m going to have to send you to the principal’s office!”

“Okay.”

His eyes met mine. My heart sped up for a split second before I quickly looked back at the teacher. She went back to her lesson.

My crush on Ilhoon grew with every contact I made with him. I could bet you a million dollars that every girl in my class had feelings for him. He just stood out amongst all the other boys we knew. But I didn’t feel any better about it. I felt like my feelings would just be lost amongst everyone else’s.

“Ilhoon-ah!”

“Yo, Sungjae!”

I stood at the bus stop and could hear Ilhoon with his friends. I turned around in curiosity to see them making their way to the bus stop I was at. Ilhoon wasn’t in his uniform. He wore a pair of black sweatpants and his brown winter jacket. He also sported the cream coloured knitted scarf he always had on (except for class because our teacher forced him to keep it off). I wonder where he’s going.

By the time Ilhoon arrived at the bus stop, all of his friends had ran off to someplace else. “Oh, hey,” he greeted as he stepped closer. He yawned and stretched his arms over his head. “It’s pretty cold these days, isn’t it?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and leaned against the glass of the bus stop. His head was turned so that he was looking the other way. I couldn’t help but stare. He turned abruptly and caught my gaze. A smile appeared on his face. I couldn’t look away.

“I g-guess so, but I like it,” I nervously answered, finally breaking the eye contact. My heart couldn’t handle it. The clear glass of the bus stop acted like a window, and I could see the snowflakes drifting down. “The snow is pretty, too.”

Ilhoon was still looking at me. My peripheral vision told me so. It only made my heart beat rapidly, and it made me feel feverish. It wasn’t often that I could find Ilhoon alone (in all honestly, it was never). There was something intimidating about him, but I just knew that there was a soft side to him. “Yeah, it is,” he murmured, leaning his head back against the glass.

“Hm, so…” I began, turning my head to look at him (I was gaining the courage to), “what brings you here? And…out of uniform?” My attempt to smile was embarrassing, but I hoped that it would soften him up.

Ilhoon replied after he puckered his lips, “Nothing really. Just taking the bus to work.”

“Oh, you work?”

“Hm?” Ilhoon looked up from the ground with a smile playing on his lips. “Yeah. I do.” His hands were still in his pockets. He hid his face behind his thick scarf, but I could still see that his cheeks were rosy. Was he feeling the same way I was? Embarrassed and nervous, yet comfortable? It was hard to tell. Ilhoon seemed to act the same with everyone.

I was too nervous to ask him anymore questions (at the same time, I didn’t want to feel like some kind of stalker though). My lips were cold anyway, and I was trying to steady my breaths. Inhale, exhale.

For another minute, we stood in silence. It was so nerve-wracking, and I wanted to forget about Ilhoon’s presence (that’s just a lie, I would never want to forget it). The bus came, and we were both saved from the comfortable-turning-awkward silence. There were a lot of people on the bus, but it was only Ilhoon and I getting on.

“Take this seat,” Ilhoon said once he saw one open seat.

“Thanks.” I sat down and put my backpack on my lap. My mother had told me once that all men had to give up their seats on a bus, for example, if a woman had nowhere else to sit. It was just chivalrous. To be honest, I didn’t think Ilhoon was like this. He always seemed like such a reckless student, always talking and self-centred. I guess I didn’t really know him (did that make me bad for having a crush on him without having a true understanding of him?). Ilhoon stood in front of me and held onto the bar above our heads. I looked up at him, but he was staring out the window (yes, that did make me bad).

“Are you going home?”

“Oh, yeah, I am. Why?”

Ilhoon shook his head. “Just wondering,” he breathed, his eyes lingering on the scenery outside. For some reason, I felt my heart drop. There was a part of me that wondered if he was concerned about my safety. It was cold outside, and the sun had almost set. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took my eyes off of him.

What I knew about Ilhoon was that he had light brown wavy hair (I was surprised that he wasn’t called on for it). He was always talking in class. He didn’t have horrible grades. There were barely any times when he wasn’t with his friends. He was taller than I was, and he was a classmate of mine. I couldn’t think of anything else that I could truly say about him, and that made my heart hurt. There was more I wanted to know about him.

The bus was one more stop away from mine. I didn’t know where Ilhoon was getting off, but I was hoping that it would be the same as mine (or after mine, but I wanted to stay with him longer).

“You’re getting off here, right?” Ilhoon spoke, pulling me out of my train of thoughts.

“Huh?” I took a glance outside and felt the bus slow down to a stop. “Oh, y-yeah.” He took a step to his left, so that I could stand up without him being in the way.

“Take this.”

“Hm?” And suddenly, Ilhoon was putting his scarf around my neck. His hands held my hair out of the way as he wrapped it around. It was the scarf he was always wearing.

Ilhoon told me with a husky voice when he finished, “Just give it back to me whenever.” He stared at me with a bright smile on his face. “It looks cute on you.”

My heart was beating too fast for my liking, but I didn’t hate it. “T-thanks.” With that, I had decided that I would learn more about him. I would take this jump that I wasn’t ever ready for, but the longer I stayed with Ilhoon on that bus, the more I realized something. It didn’t matter if I was ready anymore. I just wanted to stay by Ilhoon’s side.

The next day had come by so quickly despite my unable-ness to sleep (they say sleep is a time machine though). I didn’t want to return his scarf just yet. It was a small part of him that I could have even just for a single moment longer. It made me feel superior to all those other girls in my class, but it wasn’t nice to boast. I was also wondering how exactly I should’ve given it back to him.

On my way to school, I kept his scarf wrapped around my neck. I buried my face in it whenever the wind would pick up. His scent barely lingered on it, and it made my heart tighten. I could imagine Ilhoon doing the same and muttering things to himself about how cold it was. The thought of it made me laugh a little.

“What’s so funny?”

“Hm?” I turned my head and saw Ilhoon walking directly beside me. My heartbeat picked up. “Oh, h-hi. “

“So, are you going to tell me what you were laughing at?” Ilhoon raised an eyebrow, and an amused expression washed over his face.

“O-oh, nothing really, just remembering something.” Ilhoon made me feel self-conscious (but it’s not like I hated it).

Ilhoon his lips before running his hand through his hair. He smiled at me, and then, his lips formed into an ‘o.’ “Nice scarf.” He was eyeing my neck.

“Oh, I forgot about this!” I exclaimed. I began to take it off me when I felt Ilhoon grab my hands. He held them in his and looked me in the eye. There was a mischievous smile on his face. The nervous feelings I had were racing through my veins.

Ilhoon murmured, “Don’t take it off. We’re still outside, and it’s cold.” He stayed quiet for a moment then he let go of my hands. “You need it more than I do.” He turned his head so that he was looking ahead. He patted my head. “Plus, I already told you, but” – he coughed – “you look cute in it.”

My head was spinning. I wanted to turn away and run, but my feet just continued to keep me beside him. The cold weather that was nipping at my nose could not change the warmth of my heart. “Um, thanks.”

Ilhoon turned to me. “No problem,” he beamed. He coughed awkwardly, clearing his throat in a way to break the silence. “Your nose is red, and it’s really adorable.”

“W-what?”

“Hm? Nothing.”

Ilhoon was such a sweet talker. But I couldn’t tell if he was saying that because he truly meant it, or if he was just making fun of me. I was going to go with the first one (only because a girl in love isn’t exactly rational).

We arrived at the school, and once again, Ilhoon was swept away by his friends (he gave me an apologetic look before they pulled him away). They were all caught up with each other that they didn’t notice that I was wearing Ilhoon’s scarf. I was thankful for that, but some part of me wanted the attention because of it. I took it off once I stepped into the class and stuffed it in my bag. No one caught me with it, and I guessed that Ilhoon must’ve forgotten about it.

The day went by in a dragging and dreadful way (I almost wanted to cry because it was a Friday). My eyes were focused on the snow falling outside almost the whole time. My ears were listening to our teacher’s lessons, and my mind was only on Ilhoon. It was frustrating. My silly crush on Ilhoon was growing into something more with every moment I had spent with him. I hated myself for it, but there was nothing else I could do. There was no one else to blame for these feelings of disappointment except myself. I couldn’t be angry at Ilhoon because he didn’t know. He doesn’t know my feelings.

I was waiting at the bus stop again, leaning against the glass of the bus stop. Ilhoon’s scarf was still in my bag, and I pulled it out. I was hoping that he would have work again, so he could take the bus with me. If I saw him again though, that would mean I wouldn’t have any more reason to have his scarf.

After a couple minutes, the bus pulled up in front of the stop. The feeling of sadness began to wash over me as I got on, but they disappeared once I heard a breathless voice apologizing to the bus driver behind me.

“Ilhoon?” I turned around as I took hold of a pole. My legs were becoming weak underneath me as I saw a huffing Ilhoon in front of me.

“Hi.”

“H-hi,” I nervously said. Ilhoon surprised me when he put his head on my shoulder, letting out shallow breaths (took my heart by surprise as well).

“I’m tired,” he breathed, dropping his bag down his arm and onto the ground.

“Um…”

“Since I lent you my scarf, lend me your shoulder.”

I didn’t say anything else. I couldn’t. Ilhoon’s words were heavy on my heart. It felt so embarrassing, but if Ilhoon wanted it, then I would let him.

The bus ride was quiet. Ilhoon and I stood the whole time, but Ilhoon rested his head on my shoulder. I was wondering if he could hear the sound of my pounding heart. I also wondered if Ilhoon was feeling the same way. How many times have I wondered that though?

The time was going by, and my stop wasn’t too far away now. I had to give the scarf back. “Um, b-by the way, I still have your scarf.” I pulled out the familiar cream coloured scarf and was about to give it to Ilhoon, but he snatched it from me. I looked at him, the grin on his face sending my heart flying.

“Keep it.” Ilhoon lifted his head. He brushed my hair out of my face and smiled wider. “You look cute in it.” His hands began to work around my neck, fixing the scarf on. My hands were trembling as I felt him touching my hot skin. The smile on his face never faded.

“Why?”

“Because your face is always red, and you look cold.”

“But I’m not cold.”

“Hm, the scarf is working then.” Ilhoon his lips, and his smile softened. “Huh…you know, I’m feeling a little cold now though,” he said, rubbing his arms and sniffling. “Warm me up.” He took my arms and wrapped it around him. Ilhoon nuzzled his face in my neck (his scarf was still around it). “This is better than a scarf.”

A/N: Merry Christmas! ^^ Ugh, I'm not very good at confessions...and one-sided love things, lol. I was hoping that it would come out more...cute? I don't know, I was aiming for something different than this...haha, but either way, I'm still happy with this. Um, I hope you enjoyed it. Ilhoon is a "cute player," right? Hm, he's so silly. And don't worry, I'll have more Ilhoon fics with more cuddling that will give you fuzzy feelings in your heart...hopefully.