DECEMBER 25, 2012 -- 3:30 AM

 

"Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,

In the lane, snow is glistening

A beautiful sight,

We're happy tonight,

Walking in a winter wonderland...

 

Gone away is the bluebird,

Here to stay is a new bird

He sings a love song,

As we go along,

Walking in a winter wonderland."

 

The radio played as I stare at the most beautiful girl my eyes have ever laid upon, watching the snow fall down from the sky. Her eyes closed with her head still looking up. She smiled and my heart melted.

 

'Perfect..' I uttered to myself as I continued to admire her beauty.

 

When she opened her eyes and faced me, I was already smiling. She looked at me with her eyes full of love. She walked closer and wrapped her pair of warm arms around me. I hugged her back.

 

"I love you. I love you so much." she whispered.

 

"Is it time?" I asked. She nodded.

 

I closed my eyes and tightened my hold on her. I smiled as a tear escaped from my eye.

 

"I love you too..." I told her, still not breaking the hug. "So much."

 

____________________________________________________________

 

*A few months ago..*

 

 

 

I stared at the girl walking down the street with a cell phone on her hand. Judging by the way she's dressed and the way she walks, she's a really rich girl, probably one of those spoiled by their parents type, who would hang out in a club and make the people fall on their knees with her y charisma. Maybe I should check her out. She's a really hot chic. As I was about to step my foot to approach her, someone called me from behind which made me stop and look back.

 

 

"YUL! Come here! Quick!" Sooyoung shouted. I ran towards her as fast as I could.

 

"What?" I asked with eyes widened.

 

"See that girl in a hot red shorts right there?" she asked, her eyes looking at the girl's direction.

 

 

"Yes. What about her, Soo?" I asked again.

 

"Doesn't she look like a goddess?" she said with her eyes still following the girl.

 

 

I looked at her closely. Beautiful face, perfect features, kind aura and those pair of attractive doe eyes. Judging her by everything I see, she's a rich, reserved and sophisticated girl. The type of girl that you would take seriously and never dare to hurt. Sooyoung's right, she's like a goddess. But goddess doesn't seem to be my type. She's too beautiful for me. I looked back to see if the other girl I saw was still there but luck doesn't seem to be on my side today. Then I fixed my gaze back to the goddess--I mean girl that Sooyoung was talking about.

 

 

"I see what you mean Soo." I said, nodding my head.

 

"So, what are you still doing here?" she asked.

 

"What?" I asked in confusion.

 

"Check her out! Before I do." she said, grinning.

 

"Do what you want Soo, It's almost 5pm. I'm tired and I'm going home." I told her as I walked towards the bus stop.

 

"Yah! Kwon Yuri! Come back here!" she yelled at me.

 

 

I just looked back and smiled as I waved her goodbye. She pouted and soon gave up. She waved back and smiled. I tried to look at her again for the last time but she was nowhere in sight anymore. I continued walking to the bus stop and saw that the bus was about to leave already, I ran as fast as I could to catch up. I panted as I paid the fare. I walked in to find a seat. The bus was full with only two seats left to sit and to my surprise, the vacant seats were beside the girls I just saw earlier. Should I sit on the left with the hot chic or to the right with the goddess-like woman? Just then, the bus made a hard turn which made me sit or fall to my right.

 

 

"Oh! Are you okay?" she asked, holding me. Her voice was so sweet like wind chimes. 

 

"Yes, I'm so sorry."  I answered. Her eyes met mine and I felt a strong pound in my chest.

 

"It's okay. Does it hurt?" she asked again. I completely fell for her beautiful doe eyes. She had my eyes glued on hers.

 

"What hurt?" I asked, still awestricken.

 

"You hit your head hard on the pole. Didn't you feel it?" her eyes full of worry now. I couldn't help but stare. "Hey, are you really okay?" I blinked my eyes and looked away. I was totally caught dumbfounded.

 

"Y-yeah. Sorry about that. I-uhm.. I'm really fine." I assured her.

 

"Okay. Please be careful next time." she said politely.

 

"Yes, thank you." I replied.

 

 

We sat there quietly, as we waited to get off. Finally, I decided to break the ice.

 

 

"Hi. I'm Yuri by the way, Kwon Yuri." I said, offering a hand shake. She smiled and took it.

 

"I'm Yoona. Im Yoona." she told me.

 

 

And that's how our little talk in the bus started. We talked about random things and laughed occassionally. I learned that she gets off at the same bus stop as I do which is still an hour drive away from where we are right now. We continued chatting and the next thing I know, I have fallen asleep already.

 

______

 

I finally woke up and realized that Yoona has fallen asleep too. Her head rested on my shoulder and I couldn't help but smile. The late realization finally struck me. We just missed the bus stop that we were both supposed to be getting off to. I checked on my watch and read 7:45pm. Oh no, we've been on the bus for almost three hours now. I tapped her shoulder gently to wake her up. Her eyes finally opened and she sat straight again.

 

 

"Are we here?" she asked, obviously half awake.

 

"No, we missed the bus stop . We slept too long." I told her calmly.

 

"We what?!" she asked, surprised.

 

"We missed it." I repeated.

 

 

As soon as the bus stopped, we got off and started walking.

 

 

"I'M SORRY!" we said in unison.

 

"It's my fault, you shouldn't be sorry." she said.

 

"No, it's MY fault. I shouldn't have fallen asleep like that." I told her.

 

"I shouldn't have either." she said again.

 

"Okay, how about it's not our fault?" I suggested.

 

"Sounds better." she said and smiled. I smiled back.

 

 

We continued walking until we reached a convenience store. We went inside to buy coffee and ask for directions. The store owner told us that we were about two hours away from our homes. She suggested for us to wait at the bus stop so we can catch the last trip heading back to our place. We did as we were told. We sat on the bench and waited for the bus to come.

 

 

"So, are you living with your parents?" she started.

 

"No, I'm living alone. Wait. I don't remember seeing you here before. I mean, we ride and get off at the same bus stop but your face is just so new to me." I told her.

 

"That's because I just moved here. I've never been here before." she said.

 

"Oh I see. Where did you live before?" I asked.

 

"I used to live in the US but I wanted to spend Christmas here this year so I moved. I'm planning to stay here for good now though." she answered.

 

"Do you have relatives here? Who are you staying with?"

 

"No, I don't have relatives here. My friends came here with me but they're leaving after the holidays."

 

"And you're fine with living alone?"

 

"Yes, why not? I've been very independent since the last year of my high school."

 

"Wow. You sound like you actually like living alone."

 

"I don't. I hate being alone but I chose this so I might as well just live with it."

 

"Why would you choose being alone if you hate it?"

 

"Reasons."

 

 

I have no idea what she was talking about but I chose to stay silent. This girl is far deeper than I thought she is. I will understand her someday. Hopefully, if I ever get the chance to know her more. We continued to talk about some other things until time passed by so fast that we didn't notice it has gotten really late already. I checked on my watch and read 10:30pm. We've waited for the last trip this long and yet here we are, still on the same bench three hours ago.

 

 

"Yoona, you must be hungry. Let's go get dinner and find a taxi. I don't think the bus is ever gonna come at this time."

 

"I can't do that Yuri. I didn't bring much money. I didn't expect this to happen. I think all I have left is enough for a bus fare."

 

"You silly girl, it's okay. I got it. Let's go."

 

"No. That just doesn't seem right. You can't do that much for a stranger you just met."

 

"C'mon, it's not even a big deal Yoona. Besides, you're no stranger to me anymore. I'm practically seeing you as my friend already."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes. So please start walking with me. If it bothers you too much then buy me dinner next time."

 

"Okay. Call!"

 

 

I laughed at her immaturity. Then we started walking, looking for a place to get dinner or find a cab. As we continued walking, the rain started to pour. Ah! Curse my fate for dragging Yoona into my unlucky disease. I took her hand and ran to find a shade. The rain got heavier and we ended up standing under a tree. It didn't completely shield us from the rain, we were still getting drops of rain but it was better than getting completely soaked on the road.

 

 

"I'm sorry." I apologized.

 

"What for? It wasn't your fault that it rained, was it? Or do you have a secret power to summon the rain that you didn't tell me about?" she joked.

 

"No, it's just.. I've been so unlucky today and it feels like I dragged you with it."

 

"I don't believe in luck Yuri. I believe in God though. That everything is according to His plan and everything happens for a reason."

 

"I don't mean to be mean but I honestly don't believe in God."

 

"Why? Don't worry, I'm not trying to make you believe in Him, I just want to know why."

 

"I don't know Yoona. I swear I'd give you a reason if I had one but I just really don't. Sorry."

 

"It's okay Yuri. Unless it bothers you that we have different insights about life."

 

"No. No. It doesn't bother me at all. It's good to have a friend like you."

 

"Thank you. Same goes for me."

 

Just then, a cab was about to pass by and I ran to the road to hail it. When it got closer, I realized that it wasn't a cab but a private car. I put my hands down and sighed heavily. Seriously, what's wrong with me? Then the car stopped right in front of me and the windows rolled down, revealing the face of the driver who was apparently a girl. A pretty one, mind you.

 

 

"Here, take this.." she said as she handed an umbrella, I took it but didn't bother using it since I was already drenched. She smiled and continued "Looks like you and your girlfriend could use a ride. Hop on."

 

"Really?" I asked. She nodded and shot me another smile. Her smile is a killer. It even goes along with her eyes. I smiled back and ran to Yoona.

 

"Yoona, let's go. That girl is giving us a lift." I told her as I opened the umbrella for her.

 

"Really? Oh, thank God." she replied. I smiled and quickly walked to the car with her. When we reached it, I opened the door for her and got in right after she did.

 

"Hey, thanks and I'm so sorry for wetting your seats." I apologized.

 

"It's okay. No big deal. What worse could have happened if I left you there?" she said.

 

"Thanks a lot." I told her.

 

"I'm Tiffany by the way." she introduced.

 

"I'm Yuri and this is Yoona. Nice to meet you." I said.

 

"Your girlfriend is a quiet one, huh?" she said which immediately caused my cheeks to burn.

 

"Uh.. yeah. About that, she's not my girlfriend. I just met her earlier today." I quickly answered.

 

 

She just laughed and I looked at Yoona who was just smiling. Oh yeah! How I wish she was my girlfriend! But then again, how can a goddess possibly like me, a normal girl who's abnormally attracted with girls? Wait a second, that's normal nowadays right? So anyways, about my very unlucky day? I take it all back now. I must be very lucky to be in a car with two beautiful ladies. With a lot going on in my mind, I didn't notice that we got into 'our' bus stop already.

 

 

"So I guess this is it?" Tiffany said as she pulled over.

 

"Yeah. This is it. How can I ever thank you for this?" I answered.

 

"By buying me lunch some other time?" she said with a grin.

 

"I'd love to. I hope we can meet each other again." I told her.

 

"Oh, that's not  a problem." she said as she offered a hand on me. "Give me your phone." I did as she said, she dialed a number and suddenly, her phone was ringing. She hung up and gave my phone back to me. "Now we have each other's phone number. Don't forget to save it though."

 

"I won't forget." I said. She smiled at me and I felt something weird inside. She's too charming.

 

"Are we ever getting off? Or are you planning to stay here longer? Because I can go now if you want." Yoona finally spoke. Tiffany and I were both surprised.

 

"Ooh. I think I sense jealousy. Alright, get going now before your girlfriend kills me." Tiffany joked.

 

"I'm not her girlfriend. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude. I'm just not feeling well. I hope you don't get me wrong but I am very very thankful to you." Yoona told Tiffany.

 

"Don't worry about it. Besides, how can I ever get you wrong? Aside from the fact that you look so much like an angel, you actually seem like a real one." Tiffany told her, flashing her pretty smile again.

 

"Thanks." Yoona smiled shyly.

 

When I opened the door, Tiffany stopped me and gave me the umbrella. "Here, you guys can use this."

 

"Thanks a lot Tiffany." I said and got off.

 

 

I opened the umbrella for Yoona. She got off and I pulled her closer. We watched as Tiffany drove off. When her car was out if sight, We started walking.

 

 

"Which way goes to your house?" I asked.

 

"That street going to the left. You?" she replied.

 

"Same. But I'm still another street away from there." I answered.

 

"I can walk you to your house if you want." she offered which immediately put up a smile on my face.

 

"Thanks, but I would rather see you get home safely. Besides, you need to change those wet clothes soon or you'll catch a cold." I told her.

 

"Okay but you need to walk as fast as you can to get to your house because I don't want you to catch a cold either" she said. I swear I felt arrows shot in my heart.

 

"I will even run if that makes you feel better." I said. She smiled and nodded her head.

 

 

We walked more as we continued talking until we finally reached her house. It was big, too big, it can fit two families in it and still have more space.

 

 

"Go on ahead now. Run, if you must. You can't get sick." she told me.

 

"Okay. You can't be sick too." I said and she nodded.

 

 

She smiled and waved me goodbye. I started walking but suddenly stopped on my tracks and looked back at her. She was still there. I hesitated for a while but ran back to her anyway. She looked at me with a mix of surprise and confusion.

 

 

"What's wrong Yuri?" she asked in such a sweet tone.

 

"I.. uh.. Can I just do something?" I asked her. She stared at me blankly. I walked closer and touched her face. Sparks instantly ran all over my body. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. Then I pulled away, waiting for her to push me or yell at me. But she did nothing. "I should get going now." I said and started walking away.

 

"Yuri!" she yelled, causing me look back. "Will I be seeing you again?"

 

I smiled and yelled back. "Only if you want to!"

 

"Okay." she paused and then continued. "Then I will see you soon!" my smile grew wider.

 

"Alright then! See you soon Yoona!" I replied.

 

"Bye Yuri!" she yelled and I answered her by waving goodbye.

 

 

Then I ran back to my house, never letting go of my smile. She just indirectly told me that she wants to see me again. Oh my gosh! Is this a dream? Is she actually interested in me? Oh my, let's keep our fingers crossed. It was when I was taking a long warm bath already that I realized how awfully stupid I was. Why didn't I get her number? Aish! Stupid Yul!

 

 

*a few weeks later..*

 

 

The day after that night, I accidentally bumped into her at school. I learned that she enrolled at the same college I'm in. We had lunch together and exchanged phone numbers. And from then on, we started seeing each other regularly until we've gotten so much closer that I have developed deeper emotions towards her. I seriously don't just like her now. It feels like I love her already.

 

 

"Yul!" she called from behind. I looked back and saw her running towards me. "I'm so sorry for making you wait longer."

 

"It's okay Yoong. I didn't wait that long anyways.." Lies! I've been standing here for more than two hours now.

 

"Really? That's a relief." she said. "So, where are we going?"

 

"I made lunch. We can eat at the park if you want. The weather seems good today." I told her.

 

"Let's go!" she said excitedly.

 

 

We rode the bus to get to the park. Luckily, there weren't as many people as I expected. It was nice and quiet. We walked towards the biggest tree and there (under the tree), we laid our blanket and sat together. I placed the lunch boxes and opened them. She clapped and smiled widely.

 

 

"Are you that hungry?" I asked jokingly.

 

"You have no idea!" she said. After saying grace, she immediately took her chopsticks and ate.

 

"Yoong, slow down. No one's taking your food away." I told her.

 

"It's *munch-munch* so *chew* *swallow* delicious!" she said. I laughed. She is such a shikshin like my Sooyoung.

 

"I'm glad you like it." I told her. She smiled at me and continued eating. "So I was thinking about asking you something.." I started again. She gave me a thumbs up and carried on with gobbling up. "I was wondering.. if.. maybe.. you... uhm.. you.. ifyouwanttodateme?" I said.

 

"Hm?" she replied while chewing.

 

"I was asking you if YOU. WANT. TO. DATE. ME.?" I said again, slower this time.

 

Then she started choking and coughing.

 

"Yoong! I'm so sorry!" I apologized.

 

I quickly rushed over her and gave her a glass of juice.

 

"I'm really sorry!" I said.

 

I rubbed her back as she drank it.

 

"WHAT?!" she finally said when she was okay again.

 

"I'm sorry for asking you that question. Please don't get mad." I begged her.

 

"I'm not mad. But can you ask me again?" she said. I looked at her with confusion. She just kept waiting for me to talk.

 

"Do you want to.. date.. me?" I asked nervously. She smiled and nodded. "Really?"

 

"Yes!" she smiled. I lifted her and started spinning around.

 

"I love you Yoona."

 

"That just sounds so right. I love you too Yuri."

 

 

I was too happy. I didn't expect this to ever happen to me. Who would've thought that this goddess could fall for me?

 

 

*NOVEMBER 2012..*

 

 

We have been dating for 4 months now and the love keeps growing every single day. She moved in with me 2 months ago. Life has never been this good before. With her by my side, what else is there to worry about? Today we came to the beach. I wanted to show off my swimming skills and show her the sea that I love so much.

 

 

"Are you sure I won't drown?" she asked.

 

"You won't. I'm here. Do you think I'll let something bad happen to you?" I answered.

 

"Okay, but please, don't let go." she said.

 

"I promise."

 

 

We started swimming into the deeper part of the sea. She was enjoying it. To my surprise, she learns easily. She can float by herself already. Yes, without my support. This girl, my girl is just truly amazing.

 

 

"Oh no. I think I dropped my watch Yul." she said worriedly.

 

"I can get it for you but can you stay floated for a while?" I asked.

 

"Yes. Please find it. That's my favorite watch." she told me.

 

"Okay. Don't worry about it. Just stay floated. Alright?" I said. She nodded.

 

 

I inhaled enough oxygen and dove into the water.  I searched thoroughly to find her watch. I wouldn't want to disappoint her so I tried my best to find it. Finally, I found it and I swam to catch my breath as fast as I could. When I finally filled my lungs with the air I needed, Yoona wasn't anywhere.

 

 

"Yoona!" I shouted. "Yoong! Now's not the time to play tricks on me." I said. I still got nothing. "Yoong!"

 

 

I started panicking. I dove down and saw her going down the surface, unconscious. I swam as fast as I could towards her and pulled her up. I tried waking her up but nothing happened. I quickly brought her to the shore and did CPR. Still nothing. I did the first thing that my instinct told me. I carried her and ran to the nearest hospital. I'm not losing her like this. Not now. Not ever. I told the nurses and the doctor what happened as they rushed her to the emergency room. I waited outside impatiently. I wanted to get inside and see her so badly. After a while, the doctor finally came out.

 

 

"She's okay now. You can go see her. She's been calling out the name 'Yuri' as soon she woke up." the doctor said. "Oh, and you can take her home now but I need you to be back here tomorrow for some test results. We found some abnormalities earlier so we decided to run some tests."

 

"Okay, I understand. Thank you so much!" I said and ran inside.

 

 

I saw her sitting on the bed, waiting. I walked closer to her as tears started to cloud my vision. I wrapped my arms around her and let the tears fall.

 

 

"Yoona, I'm so sorry for leaving you alone like that. I was so irresponsible. I should have stayed with you. I'm really sorry." I apologized.

 

"It's not your fault Yul. I was the one who asked you to find my watch. I'm so sorry for worrying you." she said, hugging me back.

 

"No, it's all my fault. I could have lost you because of my stupidity. I'm really really sorry. I can never forgive myself if I lost you."

 

"Sssshhhh.. You didn't do anything wrong. Trust me." 

 

 

When we cleared everything in the hospital, we went back to our villa at the beach. She wanted to swim again but I refused. I can never risk her again like that. The sea that I loved just gave me the biggest fright of my life. There's no way in hell that I'll ever bring her there again. When we got into the villa, I made dinner for her while she watched some movies in the living room. I called her as soon as I finished cooking and we ate together.

 

 

"Yoong, I just realized that I've always been cooking for you but you never cooked for me." I pouted.

 

"That's because your cooking is so addicting. I love every kind of food that you make. Even the simple scrambled eggs or fried bacon strips. Don't worry though, I promise to cook something good for you one day." she told me before kissing me on the lips.

 

"Promise?" I asked.

 

"Yes. I promise." she answered while pinching my cheeks.

 

 

We laughed together and then continued eating. We watched movies at the living room until it was very late already and she has fallen into a deep sleep. I carried her in our room and laid her down gently. I tried getting some sleep but I just couldn't. Something seems to be bothering me. I stood up and made coffee. Then I walked to the balcony and sat there as I stared at the sea. I wish I was able to watch this beautiful sunrise with Yoona. Maybe next time. We have plenty of time together. Just then, a pair of warm hands crawled on my back and then wrapped around my waist.

 

 

"You know, I really hate it when I wake up without seeing you beside me." Yoona whispered, sending shivers down my spine.

 

"I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to wake up this early." I said and turned to face her. "Good morning baby"

 

"Good morning.." she replied after kissing me. "What do we have for breakfast?"

 

"What do you want? I can make you anything." I asked her.

 

"I can have waffles and coffee. Pancakes, bacon and egg, sausage, tuna.. Or maybe I can have... you?" she said and winked.

 

"I think the last one sounds perfect for a beautiful morning.." I told her, grinning.

 

 

Then she slid her fingers on my back, tracing my spine. I kissed her fully and stripped our clothes one by one until we reached our room.

 

 

- 10:00 AM

 

 

I woke up and kissed her to wake her up.

 

 

"We should be getting ready to leave now." I told her.

 

"Can we stay like this for 5 more minutes? Please baby?" she asked cutely.

 

"How can I say no to you?" I said and she smiled.

 

 

She hugged me tighter and stayed there. Finally, when she was ready, we got up and fixed our bags, putting everything that needs to be taken back home. Then we showered and checked if we're all set. We took one last picture and left.

 

 

 

 

I drove to the hospital as told by the doctor to get the test results that he conducted. After parking the car, we walked hand in hand inside the hospital until we reached the doctor's office.

 

 

"You must be Ms. Im from yesterday's incident. Am I right?" he asked and offered a hand shake to Yoona.

 

"Yes. That would be me. Please just call me Yoona." Yoona answered as she took his hand to shake.

 

"Okay then. Yoona. How are you feeling today?" his smile, slowly fading away.

 

"I'm fine. How were the tests results?" she replied.

 

"About that.. Have you been in a hospital for check up recently?" he asked.

 

"Not yet sir. Why? Is there something wrong with me?" she asked him now.

 

"Were you experiencing nausea and severe headaches recently?" the doctor asked. I'm starting to worry now.

 

"Yes. For the past few weeks. But I've been ignoring it since it wasn't unbearable at all." Yoona answered. How could she not tell me that?

 

"What about fever? Chills? Or night sweats?" he asked again.

 

"Yes. How did you know all of that?" Yoona answered. Her voice shaking. I know she's so worried now.

 

"What's wrong with her? Is she sick?" I asked.

 

"She has chronic lymphocytic leukemia. Stage 3." he finally said and exhaled deeply.

 

"That's a joke right? I mean look at her, she's fine. She's stronger than I am." I said, not believing him.

 

"You can get her checked in other hospitals if you want, but the test results were very clear." the doctor said as he handed the envelope with Yoona's test results.

 

"You know what? I'll do that. I'll get her checked and prove you wrong. Thank you so much for your help yesterday! Have a great life!" I said angrily as I took the envelope and pulled Yoona out of the hospital.

 

 

We rode the car and I started driving. WTF was that doctor saying?! Is he crazy? How can my Yoona have a stage 3 leukemia? She's as strong as a horse. He must be freakin' out of his mind!

 

 

"Yul.." Yoona said weakly.

 

"It's okay Yoong. You're fine. Don't believe him." I assured her.

 

"Yul, listen. I--" she started again but I don't want to hear her being weak with such non sense.

 

"No Yoong. Trust me. You're perfectly fine. You're just as healthy as I am." I told her, holding her hand with my other hand.

 

"Yuri, please. Just listen." Yoona said. I kept quiet and listened to her as I kept my eyes on the road. "He wasn't lying. I am sick."

 

"No you're not. Don't be silly Yoong." I replied.

 

"I've been diagnosed 7 months ago, even before I met you. It was the reason why I flew here. I was too scared to get the treatments so I ran away." she said. Every word piercing through my heart.

 

"Yoona.. No, It can't be--" I was about to say but was cut off.

 

"It's the truth Yuri. There's nothing we can do. I'm dying, just face it!" she bursted.

 

 

I harshly drove to the side of the road and kicked the breaks really hard. If it weren't for our seatbelts, we could've flown out of the car.

 

 

"You're not dying! You can't! It's not fair!" I shouted, ignoring the tears rolling down my cheeks. "What the hell do I do if I lose you?! If you leave me, you'll be taking away every piece of me and I can't live like that! You're not dying before me! You can't!" she unbuckled her seatbelt and hugged me really tight. "You just can't.. Yoona, you can't! It's too unfair.." I continued crying.

 

"Ssshh.. Calm down baby. Calm down." she said, still hugging me tight as she rubbed my back for comfort.

 

 

I continued crying my heart out as she comforted me. I was supposed to be the one comforting her and being strong for her yet here I am, so weak and useless. I can't even do anything but cry.

 

 

"Here. Let me drive for now. Okay?" she said. I nodded and switched seats. 

 

 

*few days later...*

 

 

We've been to different hospitals to have Yoona checked because I refuse to believe that she's sick. All the results had the same diagnosis. We cried and comforted each other every night. Today, I have no other choice but to accept it. There's no excuse left to make me doubt the fact. I have no other option but to face it. Or maybe I do. I can choose to fight it with her.

 

 

"Yoona.." I whispered in her ear as I held her tight in my arms.

 

"Hm?" she mumbled.

 

"Let's get you healed." I said softly.

 

"There's no heal baby." she said, voice cracking.

 

"There is. Please fight with me." I insisted.

 

"What can heal me?" she told me, sounding a little angrily. "Surgery? Chemotherapy? Please Yul, don't make me go through that pain. I can't bear it. I know how it works. I've seen a lot of people die even after going through everything. I'm gonna die sooner or later. So please! Just let me die peacefully!"

 

"How can you just give up like that? You haven't even tried!"

 

"I don't need to try! I know I will die soon enough."

 

"You won't! And what about me?! Can you not try for me?"

 

"There's no use! Can't you understand that? What if I did try? Can you bear to see me in so much pain and eventually die?"

 

"Im Yoona! Stop saying you're gonna die because you won't! I wan't you to try because I want you to live! Why the hell would I want you to suffer?!"

 

"Who are you to say and assure me that I won't die?! Are you a God?! Even God has given me the acceptance to my future end."

 

"Oh yeah?! Well, what kind of God is He to give you that fate? I thought He has reasons to everything? What is His reason for this? Huh? Did you do something to deserve this? Or is it me that He is punishing? Because if He is, congratulations to Him! He's doing a freaking good job in hurting me. He has given me the worst suffering anyone could ever have!"

 

"Yuri, you can't blame Him for this." she said in a low tone, tears falling. "I will never have a reason to be angry with God."

 

 

She walked away but I chased her. I held her tight and let the tears flow.

 

 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just... PLEASE. Please just try. Please. I'm begging you. I can't lose you. I just can't. I mean, what am I supposed to do if you leave me? What do I do with myself without you? I don't want to wake up in the morning if you're not the one beside me. I don't want to go to the beach without you. I surely won't be able to sit in the bus anymore if you're not there with me. I will not drive my car if I don't see you sitting beside me. Nor will I go on picnics without you. Please Yoona. Let's not lose without giving a fight. Let's aim to win. Please."

 

"Yuri.." she turned around and hugged me back. She exhaled deeply and spoke. "Okay. Let's try."

 

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

 

 

After our argument that day, we went to the best hospital in Seoul that could help Yoona. She was confined and was scheduled for her first chemotherapy. She was added to the list of the patients who needed bone marrow donors. It was truly depressing that mine wasn't a match with hers. Today, she's gonna have her first bone marrow aspiration. I am completely nervous right now. I know how much it's going to hurt and I can only hope that it ends quickly. I will be watching her being aspirated through the glass outside the room. 

 

 

"Yul, can I have it re-scheduled? I'm not ready now." she told me, almost as if she was begging.

 

"It will be fast Yoong. You won't even know it's done already. Be strong. I'm here. I won't leave you." I assured her.

 

"What if something goes wrong? What if..--" she started.

 

"Sssh." I cut her and then hugged her. "Nothing will go wrong. Don't be scared. Here, wear this ring and think of me when you get scared."

 

 

She took the ring from me and wore it.

 

 

"I'm so scared Yul.." she cried.

 

"Don't be. I will always be here for you. Trust me." I comforted her.

 

 

Just then, the nurse came to pick her up. We went to the room where they will be performing the procedure. Yoona was on the bed facing me. She didn't know I was outside watching. I saw how nervous and scared she was and it hurt me. After a few preparations, they started and when a huge needle was inserted on her back, I saw her pained expression. I couldn't help but cry. She was hurting so much. It kills me to see her like that. I wish I could just be the one to take all the pain for her. I wish I could do it for her but I can't. All I can do is be here.

 

 

She went through a lot of aspirations again after that and we both experience the exact same pain that we did in the first one, except that mine was doubled because it was like watching a replay of the most painful thing to see. Seeing her cry was hell to me. Especially when she started losing her hair. She was in so much pain that time. Not to mention the emotional pain she was also experiencing. There were those times when she looks at the mirror and cry saying she's gotten so much uglier and that I wouldn't want her anymore. She would beg me to keep liking her but does she not understand my feelings for her? I don't just like her. I love her with all the pieces of my identity. Nothing can ever affect my feelings towards her. It hurts even more to know that I can't even do anything to ease her pain. Sometimes, it makes me think that maybe I should have listened to her. Maybe I shouldn't have let her go through all this pain. But then again, if I listened to her, it would mean that I have given up too.

 

Today, she's gonna be aspirated again but instead of watching her, I went to my car and drove to the place that I least expected to go to. The church. I walked inside the church with heavy footsteps. I kneeled in front and for the first time, I prayed.

 

 

Lord, God, Jesus, Father Almighty, or whoever is up there... Please forgive me for not believing in You. I'm still not sure if You're real but I will be taking my chances. I have never asked You for anything my whole life but I'm asking You one thing now. Please, please, please save Yoona. I'm begging You. Please save her. She's young and smart. Life has so much to offer to her. She's kind and pure, she doesn't deserve this kind of suffering. Please let her live life and see many beautiful things. Let her experience happiness on earth longer. Let her get hurt and move on. Let her make mistakes and learn from them. Let her love me and be loved by me for a longer time. Please. She's everything to me. Taking her away would be like taking my soul away with her. I can never find living as enjoyable as I used to if I lose her. Please give us longer time together. Give us this lifetime. If not, then just take me instead of her. I beg you. Please, give her some kind of a miracle. Please..

 

 

After praying, I wiped my tears and quickly drove back to Yoona. She was sleeping on her bed when I got back. I kissed her forehead and held her hand on my cheek. Just then, the doctor came and asked me to have a little talk. We walked outside and started talking.

 

 

"About Yoona's condition... I think it would be best to take her home now. Celebrate Christmas together. Make the most out of her time left." he said.

 

"Time left? What are you talking about? I thought she was getting better."

 

"No, she desperately needs the transplant but I don't think she can wait any longer. There are more people listed before her and as of now, donors are still lacking. She's getting worse every singe day. It's Christmas in 3 days, bring her home. Make every moment memorable."

 

 

I stopped walking and tears started falling from my eyes. The doctor held my hand and started comforting me.

 

 

"Please.. save her. Do something. Please. You're a doctor, you're supposed to heal her. Don't give up on her. Please just.. do something. Make her live. I promised her she won't die. I made her go through so much pain. She can't just die now. Please doctor. Please.." I begged.

 

"I'm sorry.." he sighed.

 

 

I cried even more. What could be more painful than this now? How am I supposed to tell her that she may not make it anymore? How am I supposed to accept that fact? How am I supposed to let her go? The doctor walked me back to Yoona's room. He wiped my tears and patted my back. As I was supposed to enter Yoona's room. I paused and asked the hardest question to him.

 

 

"How long does she have?"

 

"Not long enough."

 

"Will she make it until the new year?"

 

"I'm not sure.."

 

"Thank you doctor."

 

 

He nodded sadly. I held my tears to myself because I can't look weak in front of Yoona from now on. She's gonna need me to be strong. Then I entered Yoona's room. She was still sleeping. I brushed her hair and kissed her forehead.

 

 

"You're back.." she said weakly.

 

"Yes, I am." I replied.

 

"Where have you been?" she pouted.

 

"Here and there." I answered with a smile.

 

"You could have waited for me and brought me with you." she protested.

 

"Did you miss me?" I asked with a grin.

 

"So much." she answered.

 

 

Then I leaned down to kiss her on the lips.

 

 

"Yul.." she called. She sounded so tired.

 

"Hm?"

 

"I want to go home."

 

"What about your treatments?"

 

"I'm tired. Please.."

 

 

I stared at her and a lone tear betrayed my eyes. I quickly wiped it and faked a smile.

 

 

"Alright. Let's take you home."

 

 

She smiled and hugged me. After taking care of everything in the hospital, we bid her doctor goodbye and thanked him for everything he's done for us. Then we headed home. When we got home, I made dinner for us while she fixed her things in our room. We ate dinner together and sat on the chairs on our veranda. I covered her with thick blankets because it was too cold to stay outside. It was winter and it was freezing cold but she insisted on sitting outside.

 

 

"What are your plans when I leave?" she asked, not looking at me. That gave a hard punch in my heart.

 

"None. You're a part of all my plans." I answered.

 

"But Yul, I'm--" she said but I cut her off.

 

"I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life. I want to hug and kiss you as much as I want. I want to be with you in every sunrise and sunset that is to come. I want to go on picnics with you whenever the weather is good. I want to play at the amusement park with you when I'm feeling so much like a child. I want to go on dates with you in every special occasion. I want to ride the bus with you when I don't feel like driving. I want to run around with you when it's raining. Maybe we can adopt a child and raise it together. Do you want a boy or a girl? It doesn't really matter. As long as we can make a family together, everything's fine. You don't even have to work, I can just do that while you stay home with our child. We can--"

 

"Yuri. No. Don't do this."

 

"Don't do what Yoong?"

 

"Don't make it harder for me to leave. There's nothing more that we can do. I've accepted it Yul. You should too."

 

"How? Tell me how so I can. Why does it have to be so damn hard?"

 

"Don't worry, I won't make it hard for you anymore. You're not going to see me die."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I'm leaving for the US on Christmas. I've contacted my family and they're picking me up."

 

"That's in 3 days Yoong. What about me?"

 

"I'm doing this for you..and me. I'm doing this to make it easier for the both of us. I can never leave peacefully if I see you. I can never look into your eyes and know how much pain I have given and will be giving you."

 

 

She's leaving me in 3 days? I felt my heart shatter into million little pieces. What am I supposed to do? 3 days is never going to be enough. Not even a lifetime will ever be enough for us.

 

 

"Yoong.." I started as I fell on my knees. "Please. Just. Don't leave. Stay with me. I promise not to make it hard."

 

"I can't. Seeing you is already hard enough. I can never let you go Yul. I can't. I can't see you because it will only hurt more. I hate myself for being sick. But I hate myself more for letting you go through all this pain. I shouldn't have let our love grow. I was selfish. And I am so sorry for that. I am so sorry."

 

 

She cried and I walked closer to her. I hugged her and exhaled heavily. I shouldn't make her suffer more. I guess it really is better for the both of us to let go before it hurts us more. She's right. I shouldn't make it harder for her anymore. I want her to leave peacefully.

 

 

"It's okay Yoong. Don't cry. Let's spend our last days together happily. No tears, only smiles. No worries, only joys."

 

"Yes, let's do that."

 

"I love you so much Yoona. You know that right?"

 

"I do."

 

 

I smiled and ignored the pain in my heart. I have to be strong no matter what happens now.

 

__________________________________________________

 

DECEMBER 24, 2012 -- 11:30 PM

 

I was lying down under our Christmas tree while Yoona was in the kitchen, cooking our Christmas dinner. I wanted to help but she didn't want me to because it would be the very first time that she's cooking for me. And sadly, it's also going to be the last. Surprisingly enough, she's so much stronger and better today than she was before. She seemed so normal and healthy today. Speaking of today, Yoona leaves at exactly 5 hours. Her friend is gonna pick her up here and they will be going back to US together. I kept begging her to bring her to the airport but she insisted for me to stay. She said she can't say goodbye if she sees me there. Today is the last day that I will ever see my Yoona. Today is the day that I'll have to let her go.

 

 

"Baby! Dinner's ready." she called out.

 

 

I immediately got up and went to the dining room where she was already done preparing dinner.

 

 

"Mmm. Smells good." I said.

 

"Of course! Wait till you taste it." she said arrogantly.

 

"Aren't we being too full of ourselves now?" I teased. She gave me a light punch on the shoulder and laughed.

 

"Well, go ahead and grab a bite." she told me. I did as she said and was surprised by how it tasted. She cooks way better than I do.

 

"Oh my gosh! You are so good at cooking. You should have done this before. It's so unfair." I said.

 

"Thank you." she smiled.

 

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

 

"Never been this better." she answered.

 

 

We continued eating and washed the dishes after. After cleaning, I checked the time and it was already 12:20 AM. We went to the living room and took our presents for each other.

 

 

"Merry Christmas baby!" she said excitedly and handed me her gift.

 

"Merry Christmas!" I said and gave her my gift.

 

"Open mine first." she told me.

 

"No, let's open them at the same time." I suggested. She nodded.

 

 

We counted to three and opened them at the same time. We were both shocked when we saw the gifts that we've received from each other. We bought an exact same necklace for each other. It was a necklace that symbolized 'a love that knows no end'.

 

 

We got the same gift but inside the box of her gift to me was also the missing key to the other room in my house. 

 

 

"Thank you so much Yoong." I told her sincerely.

 

"I'm grateful to you too Yul. Not just for the gift but for everything. You have no idea how happy you've made me all this time."

 

"I love you." was all I could say.

 

"I love you too." she replied and we pulled each other for a passionate kiss.

 

 

*3:30 AM*

 

 

We walked out in the veranda and turned the radio on. Time was moving so fast and there was nothing that I could do to stop or slow it down. I prepared myself for this day. This moment. There's no turning back.

 

 

 

"Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,

In the lane, snow is glistening

A beautiful sight,

We're happy tonight,

Walking in a winter wonderland...

 

Gone away is the bluebird,

Here to stay is a new bird

He sings a love song,

As we go along,

Walking in a winter wonderland."

 

 

The radio played as I stare at the most beautiful girl my eyes have ever laid upon, watching the snow fall down from the sky. Her eyes closed with her head still looking up. She smiled and my heart melted.

 

 

'Perfect..' I uttered to myself as I continued to admire her beauty.

 

 

When she opened her eyes and faced me, I was already smiling. She looked at me with her eyes full of love. She walked closer and wrapped her pair of warm arms around me. I hugged her back.

 

 

"I love you. I love you so much." she whispered.

 

"Is it time?" I asked. She nodded.

 

 

I closed my eyes and tightened my hold on her. I smiled as a tear escaped from my eye.

 

 

"I love you too..." I told her, still not breaking the hug. "So much."

 

 

Just then, her friend came and it was already the time I have feared so much. This was it. We broke the hug and stared at each other. Our eyes were both filled with tears that were dreading to fall. I smiled despite the pain I was feeling. She smiled back and kissed me. We walked down and I brought her to her friend's car.

 

 

"Take good care of yourself Yul. Live a good and happy life. Find someone better than me and fulfill all the plans that I wouldn't be able to do with you. Be strong. Be happy."

 

"I will Yoong. Think of me in a good way. Please don't forget me. Don't forget how much I love you. I will always love you. No one can ever take your place in my heart."

 

"Thank you. I will never forget you. Goodbye Yuri."

 

"No, let's just say, until we meet again. I will see you soon. Wait for me okay?"

 

"I will. Then, until we meet again."

 

 

And before I can say anything more, she rode her friend's car and left. I watched until the car disappeared from my sight. Then I let all the tears I held fall. I cried all the pain in my heart because I felt so helpless. I wanted to run and chase her so bad but I know I shouldn't. She's doing this for the two of us. Then, questions started flooding my mind. What if I sat down beside the hot chic on the bus that day that I met Yoona? Or what if I gave Tiffany a call and went out with her instead of Yoona? Would it be different? Would I have been very happy now instead of being this broken? Then I shook my head to erase the thoughts because the answer was obvious. NO, I don't think I would have been happier if I didn't choose Yoona. No matter how broken I am feeling right now, I have no regrets in choosing her. Yoona is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

 

I took my phone out and was about to dial her number when I suddenly can't find it. Then I realized that she must have deleted it. She deleted everything except for our pictures together. Then I saw the missing key that she gave me. I decided to go to the room and she has yet again, surprised me. The room was filled with sticky notes.

 

 

I took a snapshot of the room on my phone and started reading the notes. I took them off the wall one by one after reading them. They were all reasons why she loved me such as "because you're too pretty" "because you're so y" "because you look so cool when you swim" "because you look good in everything you do" "because you are so amazing" "because you care for me well" "because you are so thoughtful" "because you pamper me like a little child" "because you love me more than anyone else" "because you cook so well".... etc etc.

 

Every note touched my heart. Every note made me miss her more. After finishing each and every one of them, I realized there was a very big picture of us glued on the wall.

 

 

on the side part of the picture, there was a message saying "I will wait for the time that we'll meet again. When there is no end to our love. When we can love each other without anyone or anything to interfere. When we can vow our love in front of our creator. When we don't have to leave and hurt each other. I will wait for you in that place where sadness doesn't exist. But until then, stay healthy and know that I will always be beside you. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" -Im Yoona

 

 

 

 

*FEBRUARY 14, 2013..*

 

 

I walked to the beach where Yoona and I went before. I still wasn't seeing anyone else. I know I promised Yoona but I just can't bring myself to like someone else. My heart only belongs to her and her only. I looked up the sky and listened to the waves of the sea. I found peace here so I went here 2 days ago. I planned on spending 3 more days here before going to US with my friends. I laid down the sand and closed my eyes. After a few moments, I felt someone lay down beside me. Scent so familiar. I opened my eyes and saw the most familiar face next to me.

 

 

"Omo!" I accidentally blurted.

 

 

Her eyes opened, revealing those beautiful doe-eyes. Was I dreaming? Or did I accidentally die and went straight to heaven? Why am I seeing Yoona here? So pretty and healthy. Was there some kind of a miracle?

 

 

"It's been a while Yul. How have you been?" she asked.

 

"Yoona.. you're--"

 

"Alive? Yes. I didn't know how it happened but when I reached the US, I collapsed and was immediately rushed to the hospital. A family member of a dying patient agreed to donate his bone marrow to the hospital which was surprisingly a match with me. They gave it to me and that's how I am here now. Healthy as ever."

 

"I can't believe this."

 

"I can't either."

 

"How did you find me here?"

 

"I didn't. I went to your house yesterday but someone told me you went on a trip so I decided to come visit this place. I didn't expect to find you here."

 

 

I stared at her. Still in disbelief.

 

 

"I sure hope you're still not dating anyone."

 

 

I pulled her in for a kiss. She kissed back and I smiled. How can such a miracle exist? How can God reward me like this after all those years that I didn't believe in Him? Nevertheless, I thank Him for giving us another chance. For giving our love another chance. This time, I will never let go of Yoona. Come what may.

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________

 

and that was the end of my first one-shot. how was it? please tell me what you think.

 

I would like to start by saying I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY!!!! I've been the worst author for breaking my promise. I know this was supposed to be posted on Christmas but my family and I went on an unexpected out-of-town trip and we just got back today. Please forgive me for making you wait so long. I am really really sorry!

 

and next, I am dedicating this story to the kindest and the most supportive author who always encouraged and inspired me. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to rese-ky (the author of the awesome fics: A Vampire's Story and A Vampire's Story 2: Dare To Love You Again)!!! I hope you never stop and get tired of helping me out. More power to you and your fics. Fighting! <3

 

P.S._please support her with her new fic, "Tale of an Impossible Love: Fallen Guardian". I swear she's an amazing writer. :) Trust me!