1. Idiocy is contagious
Whatever came over Myungsoo and Sungyeol to spend that Saturday afternoon baking a cake was beyond anyone’s imagination. Perhaps they thought it would be fun, since neither of them had baked a cake before. If that was the case, they were dead wrong.

Once they had everything set up, they just stared at the bench with blank faces in hope one of them knew what to do next. How the did you even bake a cake?

Seemingly desperate, Sungyeol yelled out for Sunggyu, who was lazing in the living room and not doing very much at all, ‘Sunggyu-hyung, how do you bake a cake?’

Sunggyu scoffed, uninterested by whatever nonsense those two were up to, ‘Does it look like I know how to bake a cake?’ No, it looked like he ate cake instead.

Myungsoo was being a smart cookie and reading the recipe over and over again. The chunky pink book was in his hands as he mumbled to himself, ‘First step, place flour in bowl… Huh. Seems easy enough.’ He then did as the book instructed and poured some plain flour into a large mixing bowl.

After Sungyeol turned around and witnessed the white powder spilling into the bowl, he screeched loudly, ‘WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!’

‘I’m putting the freaking flour into the bowl,’ Myungsoo deadpanned, continuing to pour.

‘Why would you do that?! You can’t put bowls in the oven!’

‘Of course you don’t put the bowl in the oven! You put the flour into the bowl, the flour turns into a batter, and then you put the batter into the cake tin. And that goes in the oven,’ the younger boy countered, one hand on his hip as the other continued to pour an endless amount of flour into the blue bowl. Only the heavens knew why it wasn’t spilling over by then.

Sungyeol hissed, ‘What’s the point of putting it in the bowl in the first place then?!’

Myungsoo finally stopped, using his other hand to hold up the now half-empty bag of plain flour. ‘I… I don’t know,’ he stammered, not sure why ingredients went into a bowl.

‘Let’s just pour all the ingredients into the cake tin,’ Sungyeol suggested, taking the bowl and dumping the flour into the ungreased cake tin.

Myungsoo grunted grumpily, cracking two eggs onto the heap of flour. ‘Fine.’

Next came the sugar, the vanilla essence, the sugar, the milk and finally the sugar. Once they were done with adding the ingredients into the cake tin, the two boys stepped back and watched the bench carefully, waiting.

‘Now what?’ Sungyeol spat, already impatient.

Myungsoo flipped the book to the bookmarked page and read. ‘It turns into a batter,’ he stated.

Sungyeol frowned and sat on the tiles. ‘How long do we have to wait?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Well, what do the instructions says?’

Myungsoo shrugged and displayed the front cover of the book to the older boy. ‘I don’t know. I can only read so much English.’

‘Are you stupid?! Why the hell would you get an English cookbook?!’

Sunggyu rolled his eyes from the living room, beginning to get sick of their volume.

‘It says easy on the cover! I thought it meant easy to read as well as easy to cook.’

Sungyeol slapped his forehead in frustration and groaned, ‘You are so stupid sometimes, Myungsoo.’

‘Look who’s talking!’ Myungsoo retorted.

‘WHAT DID YOU SAY?!’

The leader of the group had enough of listening to them bicker and stood up, stomping over to the kitchen. ‘Alright, that’s enough! I’ll bake your stupid cake,’ he huffed angrily, rolling up his sleeves.

And so MyungYeol had somehow gotten Kim Sunggyu to cook something. It was a miracle in itself that Sunggyu would cook, but it was a double miracle that MyungYeol weren’t even trying to get him to cook and that they didn’t want him to – They wanted to cook the damn cake themselves!

About two hours later, the rest of the members had arrived home from their schedules. As they entered into the apartment one-by-one, they filed into a line in front of the kitchen and stared – You can’t really call it a kitchen anymore actually, it was the burnt out hole where the kitchen use to be.

‘What happened to our kitchen?’ Woohyun asked, blinking dumbly.

Myungsoo rolled his eyes and explained scornfully, sneering at the oldest member who was more or less trying to comprehend how the kitchen exploded, ‘Sunggyu tried baking a cake out of an English cookbook.’

‘Why?’

Sungyeol arose from nowhere and spat, ‘Because he’s stupid.’

Sunggyu wanted to pull all his hair out.


2. No sleep whatsoever
It had been a while since Woohyun and Sunggyu were able to sleep at the same time. With Sunggyu’s schedules ending late, the two never seemed to be able to tell each other goodnight. But somehow, Sunggyu had finished his schedules early and made it home when Woohyun was still awake.

‘I love you,’ Sunggyu whispered that night, snuggling into Woohyun’s chest as they laid on the bottom bunk.

‘Love you too,’ Woohyun whispered back, kissing Sunggyu’s temple with a small smile. It was abnormally quiet in the apartment – abnormal as seven boys living under the same roof wasn’t exactly a state library. Woohyun and Sunggyu were too blissful and too drowsy to even care about the suspicious lack of screeching and giggling. They were tired, a little sleep-deprived, so as soon as silence took over their eyelids drooped closed.

A second later they shot right back up because of Myungsoo’s voice, ‘Are you ing insane?!’

‘Do it!’

‘Why the hell would I do it?!’

‘Sungjong would do it.’

‘No he wouldn’t.’

‘How do you know he wouldn’t?’

‘How do you know he would?’

‘I JUST KNOW, OKAY?! NOW DO IT!’

Through the dark, Sunggyu and Woohyun shot each other confused looks. The door suddenly clicked and the light flooded in to interrupt them even more. Myungsoo hopped into the room and started doing the chicken dance robotically, a blank but stern expression on his face the whole time. Woohyun and Sunggyu did nothing but watch with crooked eyebrows.

Myungsoo then leaped out and ran through the apartment and back into his room, a hysterical Lee Sungyeol dying of laughter as he was being dragged along by him.

When the door closed, the laughter could still be heard and Woohyun and Sunggyu had to think a little to notice if they were having really weird conjoint dreams or not. After a moment, Woohyun decided it was not a dream but instead a nightmare as he lived in the same dorm as Kim Myungsoo and Lee Sungyeol.

‘What the hell was that?!’


3. For the sake of the band
Infinite were in rehearsal for their upcoming concerts. The Infinite band were tuning their instruments, practicing the songs by themselves before playing altogether. Myungsoo was exceptionally fast at learning the song and it wasn’t exactly a surprise since he had been playing guitar for ages. Sungyeol, on the other hand, had a little more trouble. He’d never played the drums before and it was more difficult than it looked.

‘Wow drummer boy, that looks awfully hard,’ Myungsoo mocked, watching as Sungyeol struggled to keep up with the rhythm, ‘Having to hit cylinders with chopsticks.’

Sungyeol glared. ‘Was that meant to be an insult?!’

‘Of course not, just an observation,’ Myungsoo taunted, trying to smile innocently.

‘You’re so stupid!’

‘And you’re so talented!’

Sungyeol dropped his drumsticks and jumped over the set, coming face-to-face with the younger member. ‘Come here so I can punch the sarcasm out of your head!’ he shouted, clenching his fists.

‘Oh, I’m so terrified right now.’

Dongwoo’s bottom lip quivered nervously as he stepped between them and pushed them apart. Living with the ridiculous pair had somehow helped him develop the sixth sense to know when something bad was going to happen. You could even say he could tell the future.

‘Guys, stop fighting!’ he scolded nervously.

Myungsoo patted the dust off his shoulder and slowly began walking away. ‘Fine, I don’t think he would stand a chance anyway,’ the visual muttered.

Sungyeol got his game face on. ‘Grr.’

‘STOP FIGHTING! LET GO OF HIS HAIR! SUNGGYU-HYUNG! WOOHYUN, HOYA! SUNGJONG, HELP ME, DAMMIT! OW, STOP BITING! WATCH THE FACE, WE STILL HAVE A CONCERT TO DO!’


4. Injuries
Dongwoo’s mouth was shut the whole ride home. In all honesty, it was a nice touch since he was usually hysterically laughing about things like air and the sky. Sunggyu, who was sitting in the front seat, was curious as to why he was silent. Nonetheless, he waited until they were out of the car and heading to towards the dorms to ask him instead. Being a leader made him crave peace and quiet all the time.

‘Dongwoo…’ he said as he stepped out of the van.

Dongwoo’s head spun to him and he said, ‘Yeah-hyung?’

Sunggyu’s eyes widened at what he saw… or what he didn’t see. ‘Where did your teeth go?’ he gasped, stepping forward and taking a closer look at Dongwoo’s opened mouth.

As the members and managers walked towards the apartment building, Sunggyu still examining Dongwoo’s mouth as the latter tried to speak and failed miserably, Myungsoo and Sungyeol inevitably began bickering again.

‘YOU ARE SO STUPID!’ Sungyeol shrieked, attempting to push the younger member into a bush.

Myungsoo screamed back, ‘GO AWAY, YOU FATSO!’

‘I AM NOT FAT. YOU’RE FAT!’

‘IT’S NOT FAT, IT’S BEEF,’ Myungsoo retorted, flexing his bicep in emphasis.

‘YOU’RE A FREAKING COW!’

Myungsoo’s eyes narrowed as Sungyeol scowled at him, repeating the stupid comment over and over again. The visual then pounced on him and a dust cloud emerged to censor the dirty fighting that was happening for the seventh time that day. In the process, Woohyun was knocked over like a log and something clicked in Sunggyu’s head.

Oh, that’s where Dongwoo’s teeth went.


5. Night-time schedules
The members were at the recording studio, recording their Over The Top album. They were on the last track and were almost finished. The members, minus Sungyeol and Myungsoo, had to fix up some fine details and so they left Myungsoo and Sungyeol alone. Not exactly a good idea, in humanity’s opinion.

Myungsoo began to stroll around the little room, looking at the ceiling, the walls, everything. He then hummed, ‘It’s this place…’

Sungyeol was spinning himself around on the chair until he heard Myungsoo’s voice. ‘What?’

The younger member shrugged and said, ‘Oh it’s nothing,’ only making Sungyeol more curious as to what he meant.

‘Tell me,’ he insisted.

Myungsoo took in a deep breath before starting with his tale, ‘Well, a thousand years ago, at this very spot, a group of people were last seen.’

Sungyeol immediately got Goosebumps.

‘They were singers who had come to record a Christmas album together, thinking that they were alone. However,’ Myungsoo paused and then looked the older boy directly in the eyes, ‘they weren’t.’

Sungyeol swallowed audibly and gripped the armrest of the chair as Myungsoo ghosted closer, his voice grower lower and hoarser to add to the feel of the story.

‘Just as they were about to press the save button, happy that they did not have to sing jingle bells or Rudolf again, they heard footsteps coming closer and closer…’ he trailed off mysteriously.

Sungyeol was now in a somewhat foetal position, his eyes widened as Myungsoo carried on.

‘As the leader of the group spun around on the very chair you’re sitting on, the door opened.’

The visual hadn’t said anything after that so Sungyeol grew curious, feeling the suspense build up in the room. ‘And then what?’ he urged nervously, not knowing whether he wanted to know or not.

There was a cynical chuckle and a smirk. ‘Sungyeol, no one knows what happened to them, and whoever finds out,’ Myungsoo muttered somewhat sadistically, ‘Would never be able to tell anyone.’

Sungyeol’s soul packed its bags and left him.

Suddenly, the door flung open and Sunggyu along with the other members burst in. ‘We’re done!’ Sunggyu announced brightly.

‘Ack!’ Sungyeol screamed, jumping under the table while trembling.

Sungjong blinked and then muttered, ‘What did you do to him?’

Myungsoo shrugged and answered casually, ‘I just told him a story. No big deal.’

Because Sungyeol denied the members to be able to fall asleep before he did, the rest of the night was spent with reason number 2.



6. Inspirits’ blood loss
Woollim’s CEO was smart enough to get Myungsoo and Sungyeol to do a stage together for an upcoming concert. He knew Inspirits would love it, but he did not expect such a… strange reaction. Maybe it was the song choice? The dance? Maybe parodying Troublemaker wasn’t exactly the wisest of ideas.

As soon as the two stepped on stage, Dongwoo felt dread wash all over his body and Hoya laughed hysterically. Sunggyu and Woohyun almost barfed, and Sungjong snapped his fingers, complaining that he could do I bet Hyuna impersonation than Sungyeol ever could.

The Inspirits screamed at a deafening volume as Myungsoo’s hands ran in seductive movements up and down Sungyeol’s back. The screams only grew as they strutted down the stairs, to the stage, pressing up against each other. As Myungsoo’s hand touched Sungyeol’s thigh, the other members could’ve sworn a few dozen fangirls in the first few rows knocked out. And when Sungyeol slid down Myungsoo’s back, his hands feeling down Myungsoo’s legs, a few more rows of squealing girls were blown away. Sunggyu had to rub his eyes and squint to see if what he was watching was real or not. When Sungyeol swung his little around, streams of red blood were slowly creeping out of the Inspirits nostrils. Many fangirls thought they were dreaming to see MyungYeol feeling each other before their eyes. And then Sungyeol’s hands felt down Myungsoo’s torso, making the fans scream high-pitched enough for the glass of the lights to break.

Near the end of the song, the Inspirits were exhausted because, no matter what anyone says, fangirling is an extreme sport. Regardless of the Inspirits' distress, Sungyeol ripped open his dress and suddenly there were a million ladyboners in the audience.

At the end of the song, MyungYeol gave the final blow – the kiss. Inspirits all over the globe experienced severe nosebleeds promptly, whether they were watching the performance or not. The worldwide phenomenon was later named the 11th of February Infinitization.


7. Time management
At the salon, Infinite were getting ready for their Paradise promotions. Woohyun was one of the first members to get prepared and ended up sitting in front of the clock, counting every minute they were late.

‘We’re ten minutes late,’ he announced.

‘Lee Sungyeol, give Myungsoo back his jacket!’

Twenty minutes later, Woohyun announced, ‘We’re thirty minutes late.’

‘Kim Myungsoo, stop messing up Sungyeol’s hair!’

Half an hour later, Woohyun announced, ‘We’re an hour late.’

‘Lee Sungyeol, now Myungsoo has a bald spot!’

‘We’re –‘

Hoya shoved a hamburger into Woohyun’s opened mouth, muttering exasperatedly, ‘Just shut it, Nam.’


8. Earth’s overall wellbeing
‘Scalpel.’

‘Scalpel,’ Myungsoo repeated, handing Sungyeol a rusty little knife.

‘Tweezers.’

‘Tweezers.’

‘Coffee shot.’

Myungsoo loaded some concentrated black coffee into a syringe and squirted the liquid into Sungyeol’s ready mouth. ‘Coffee shot,’ he said after the job was done.

Sungyeol spun a little toy car wheel that was attached to the… thing they had made, claiming it was the finishing touch. In all honesty, it looked like a child’s attempt at a doom’s day device. ‘We’re done,’ Sungyeol declared, swiping the pooling sweat on his forehead with the sleeve of his lab coat. He then pulled down his surgical mask and sighed in admiration.

Myungsoo tapped the thing with his fingers and clicked his tongue. ‘Do you think it will actually work?’

Without a word, Sungyeol swiped a match against the box. He then said, ‘Only one way to find out.’

All life on Earth could’ve possibly be in Sungyeol’s hands. But when Sungyeol lit the thread coming out of the machine… Nothing really happened. Well, accept for the fact their dorm caught fire and Sungjong was screaming something about the apocalypse. It’s not like he died or anything major like that.



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AN\ List!fics were a trend back in the day, when I was addicted to KyuMin and HaeHyuk fanfiction…