“You lost Myung Oppa. You need to buy me ice cream.” I reminded him again for the nth time.

We’ve been walking around the place for the last 10 minutes and he hasn’t uttered a single word. This is so not him. He is usually talkative and playful but he suddenly changed. After his break-up with his ex-girlfriend, he’s been really down. I asked him to go out with me today because I’m hoping that he’ll return to his old playful self but he’s still the lifeless Myungsoo. It pains me to see him like this.  

“Where are we actually go-”

His cellphone suddenly rang. He stopped walking and immediately fished out his phone from his pocket.

“Hello. Uh, no. It’s okay. I’ve been good. How about you? Ah. That’s great. Hmmm, sure. What is it? Right now? Okay. I’ll see you in a bit. Bye.” The whole time he was talking to that certain someone over the phone; there was a glint of happiness in his eyes. And suddenly, that happiness was replaced by bitterness.

“Was it….?” I don’t need to mention a name because I know that we both understand each other. And actually, I don’t know that person’s name. 

“Yes. Listen, I’ll buy you your ice cream next time. I promise. I really need to go now.”

“Why? Where are you going?”

“Something came up and she needs my help. Uh, it was fun. Thank you, Naeun. Just text me when you get home safely, okay? I’ll be going now.”

I watched as he rushed over to where that girl is. Fun? You never smiled the whole time we’re together and you’re telling me it was fun? Stupid Myungsoo.

How can you still do something for that girl? I don’t know her name. I don’t know how she looks like. I don’t know anything about her. I’ve never met her but I don’t really like her. I hate how she still has this effect on you. I don’t like how she still calls you after she left you. I don’t like her because she’s the reason why you’re hurting right now. I don’t like her because she’s the reason why you still can’t see me. You still haven’t realized that I’ve been here for you all this time because you only see her.

Why are you so stupid Kim Myungsoo? Why are you doing this to yourself? How can you still like her after she left you for another man? You told me that you’ve forgotten her and you have already moved on, but why does every time she calls you and ask for something, you are more than willing to go and help her? You’re still in love with her, aren’t you? You’re still thinking that there’s still a possibility that she might take you back, right?

Are you the fool for thinking that she might change her mind and come back to you, or is it me for waiting for you to notice me?

How much did you love her to be like this?