Credits go to kurogane, for this amazing poster.

[Sixteen. Time Forgets]

After the memorial services at the church was finished, Dongwook was driving them to the ceremony by the graveside. The entire car was silent except for sniffles coming from Byul. Dongwook sighed to himself. The atmosphere had been like this for so long. He was sure that Byul would get through it bravely, perhaps after the funeral was over and she had more time to readjust to life. But he was worried about Sandara. The girl he regarded as his daughter seemed to be living in an entirely different world these past few days. It made him anxious the way Youngbae’s death affected her. It was unhealthy, and it had made him suspect there was something more to their relationship, which led to yet another conflict with Jiyong when he decided to ask him about it privately the other day...

“How’s Sandara?” Dongwook had called Jiyong into his study after dinner. Dara had again excused herself to go to her room early, barely picked at her food. Jiyong had followed her upstairs at Byul’s insistence to get her to eat something.

Jiyong had shot him an irritated look. “Of course she’s not fine. Do you think anyone would be normal after something like this happens, old man?”

“Yes I know that, but the way Sandara is acting is...” Dongwook had waved his arms around as if struggling to find a word in midair to represent his thoughts. “...unusual. People die, and it’s a part of the cycle of life. I’m sure Dara, being intelligent as she is, would understand that, and...” Dongwook trailed off, not able to put into words what he feels. This side of Dara was alien to him, and it made him scared. Jiyong did not appear to be listening to him as he plopped down comfortably on a velvet chair, flipping through a random book off the shelf. His careless attitude about Sandara made Dongwook slightly annoyed. He had thought that, of all people, Jiyong would be the one most affected by Sandara’s behavior, but it seems to him as if he was not even worried. “Jiyong, I’m trying to help Sandara here. Can you at least be helpful and listen to-“

“Not everything can be solved through intelligence and analyzing, old man,” Jiyong had hissed vehemently at Dongwook. “People are different in situations like these when their minds are shut down by the calling of their hearts and what they feel. They cannot think rationally.” Just like his feelings for Dara. Mind over matter, Jiyong thought. There were times when Jiyong asked himself, if everything could rewind and he had the right to choose, would he want to fall in love with Dara? Every time, he could not come up with an answer. The matter was too complicated for him to think through rationally.

Dongwook observed him closely, deciphering his words. “So...could it be that Youngbae had been romantically involved with Sandara before?” His words had just came out of his mouth when Jiyong slammed the book in his hands to the table beside him, making it wobble dangerously. The look on his face was murderous. Dongwook was taken aback at how indignant he looked.

“Don’t you dare suggest that! You are really getting on my nerves, you old man!” Jiyong had roared across the room. Standing up, he turned to leave, muttering to himself, “Impossible...no...never...” Leaving Dongwook stunned at how such a suggestion could have stirred so many emotions from his son, he spent the next few days pondering over it. He was still not convinced about Dara’s bond with Youngbae, especially when Byul confirmed that they had been close since childhood, and it was still a mystery to him why Jiyong reacted that way.

Dongwook parked the car, and hurriedly ran to the passenger side to help Byul out of the car. “H-H-He was so…young-!” Before Byul could utter another word, she burst into tears, damping her already wet handkerchief. Dongwook held her securely, and followed Jiyong and Dara to join everyone else. Minzy, with eyes puffy and red, was the first person to spot Dara, and came over to hug her. The sight of Dara, Youngbae’s closest friend, made Minzy think of Youngbae all over again, and led to another round of tears, but Dara did not cry.

“Oh, Sandara!” Bom ran over to Dara, taking her turn to embrace her tightly. “I can’t believe it! He’s not gone, right?” Bom’s high voice raised an octave higher, looking into Dara’s eyes, wide eyes silently begging for her to agree with her. Dara’s eyes were hollow, and her blank expression did not give an indication whether or not she heard Bom’s words. It was the way she had been ever since she heard the news of Youngbae’s death. Dara was not even Dara anymore. She became a living corpse, not responding to anything, not saying a word, not giving a sign that she heard or saw anything. Every time Jiyong saw her in that state, his heart was pinched painfully. “He’s going to come back to us, right? Sandara, tell me that he’s going to come back-” Bom started to shake Dara’s shoulder, tears dripping down her cheeks. Jiyong gently removed Bom’s arms away from Dara, and Seunghyun appeared by Bom’s side and patted her shoulders as the latter started weeping hysterically.

Throughout the entire ceremony, Jiyong did not take his eyes off Dara. Even now, dreadfully pale with severe black circle under her eyes, Dara looked beautiful to him, wearing a black dress with long sleeves made of lace. It was almost summertime, and wearing long sleeves was odd, but Jiyong liked it on her anyways. She did not sob like most people present, nor did she kept a solemn face. Instead, Dara kept her eyes on the sun that’s slowly setting and approaching the horizon. The sun eventually had to set. That was how Dara felt about Youngbae’s death. No amount of crying, pleading, or screaming would stop the setting sun from continuing its course of nature, just like how nothing could change the fact that Youngbae’s gone forever. Dara knew this well, that’s why she did not cry a tear since hearing about Youngbae’s death. However, like the sun, it felt like Youngbae’s absence took the warmth out of her life. Never had she felt so alone and cold.

Jiyong suddenly woke up from his dreams in the middle of the night. Vaguely, he remember dreaming about running in the dark, with the sound of a girl’s crying ringing in his ears. Feeling uneasy, he crept out of bed, and opened his bedroom door. Dara’s bedroom door was shut, and, as expected, no light was on. If it had been any other night, Jiyong would have opened up a bottle of whisky and gone back to bed after a sip, waiting for dawn. However, that night was different. Trying not to feel like a ert, Jiyong tiptoed across the hallway and turned the doorknob, careful not to make a sound. He peered inside, already thinking of a thousand excuses in case Dara caught him in the act.

Dara’s bed was empty.

It was supposed to be summer, but to her, the night was frosty as ice. Dara was not sure how long she had sat still on the swing of the playground in the neighborhood Youngbae and she had grown up in. Her eyes traced every object with familiarity even though it was dark. The big oak tree of their childhood did not seem so humongous to her now. Once, her kite had been stuck in that tree, and Youngbae had volunteered to climb the tree to get it for her. Since it was pretty high to them then, Dara had felt anxious as Youngbae took every step. Thankfully, he had retrieved the kite without a scratch on him. There was the see-saw where Youngbae had fought four tall, strong high school guys when they were in middle school. One of the guys had picked on Dara, calling her a stuck-up orphan and other cruel names. Without a word, Youngbae had punched that guy hard in the stomach. That time, Youngbae did not escape unhurt, and ended up with a broken nose for her. It was one of the rare times that Dara cried. She had felt so guilty that Youngbae gotten hurt because of her.

What is Sandara Park going to without Dong Youngbae from now on? The more memories she conjured up of her best friend, the more miserably alone and little Dara felt in this huge world. In some ways, Youngbae was the closest person to her, even closer than Byul. He was always there for her to count on, offering shelter from the realistic world. He was the one she would go to with her darkest s