“Oppa! I love you!”

The crowd screamed at us while they waited for the signing to commence. It is always fun meeting all of our Angels and knowing that they are here for us and us alone. They make me happy, and forget any sadness or stress I feel. They make it worth it for me, and I’m pretty sure that they make it worth it for the others. I wait and play with my pen as I watch the Angels. They are having fun amongst themselves, but their attention is always on us. There are some who even have cameras. I look at them sometimes, but otherwise, I like to let them think that I don’t notice. Isn’t that the fun part?

“Alright everyone, we are about to start.” I looked up to the announcer. “Please get in an orderly line and we shall begin.” At that moment, the Angels cheered and formed themselves. Well, they were already ready, but now they just stood straighter, and smiled brighter. The announcer gave the signal, and we began.

There were so many Angels, and so many came to me. Some even had small gifts for me. They made me happy.

“Niel Oppa?” A younger girl came towards me, and she had a shy smile spread across her lips. She handed me her disc to sign, the handed me a book. “For you,” she said. I tilted my head and accepted the small book with a smile. “It’s a journal to share your secrets with, so you won’t be burdened.”

I smiled at her sincerity and bowed in gratitude. It was a simple book. It was a light blue with our crown on the front, but with a picture of a fish on the back. I opened it up, and the pages were unlined and a pale blue. In the front cover, she wrote a note.

“Don’t worry, Oppa! I will keep you happy! you” I smiled and closed the book. It was cute.

I don’t know how many things I have signed, but it was so many. My hand hurts a little, but it was fun meeting all of the Angels and talking with them. I gathered up everything and put the gifts into my back pack. I got a couple of small things like drawings, letters, some candy, fanfiction, and the notebook. I’ll go through it all when I get to the dorm. I looked over and the others were packing with smiles on their faces. Changjo even had a bouquet of roses that a male fan gave him. It was funny to see him getting a mental breakdown over it, but I know that he was ecstatic to have a male fan. 

“AW~,” cooed Chunji. “That was adorable!” He giggled and bent over to smell the flowers.

“Changjo got a man crush~” Teased Ricky. Changjo just shot a snarl at him, but he didn’t take it too seriously. In all honesty, we all want male fans. Having fanboys, for us, makes us feel special.

We all finished getting our things and went into the car. I would like to look at the presents, but the car is a little too cramped for me and I get car sick if I try to read, so I’ll just wait until we get to the dorm. While in the car, we talked a little about the event, and we spoke about the different fans that came. Not only did Changjo get a fanboy, but he also got small children. He’s lucky. Maybe because he’s the maknae, but then again, who could resist his charms?

Ricky was happily exclaiming about how someone called him oppa and how he had mostly noona fans.  CAP, on the other hand, was asleep. We were talking to him earlier, but since he didn’t respond, we realized that he dozed off. Silly hyung, he must be really tired.

We arrived home quickly, or at least it felt that way, and we went our separate ways. CAP went to go to sleep while Chunji went to make dinner. Ricky went over to him to help, and then Chunji dragged L Joe to help as well. Changjo went to go take a shower, and as I waited, I decided to go to my room and look through my gifts.

“Dinner will be ready in about half an hour!” I waved at Chunji as I went upstairs.

“Okay! Thank you, hyung!” As I walked up, they started to talk loudly and chat about something. It’s never quiet in the dorm unless we’re asleep, but I like it like that. I walk past the bathroom, but I don’t hear the shower. I hear the tub instead, so he must be taking a bath. I haven’t had one in a long time. I should tell him that he has about a half hour.

Knock. Knock.

“Hey, Changjo! It’s Niel!”

“Neh?” He echoed out from the bathroom. There was a swish sound, so he is already in the tub, wet, glistening, his face must be flushed a light shade of red, and his hair matted down.

“Chunji is making dinner, so you have about half an hour. If you want, I can come and tell you five minutes before it’s done.”

“Yes! Thank you, hyung!” I smile as I walk away. We may act violent at times, but we really do love each other. We are more considerate when we’re alone, we’re louder, and we’re just more comfortable.

I finally walked into my room and climbed onto my bed. Ricky didn’t make his bed this morning, but neither did I. It’s not like I need to. I don’t use a blanket, so I just need to smooth out the folds. I cross my legs and put my bag in between my legs before opening it and taking everything out. I don’t want anything to be damaged, so I don’t just throw it out.

There were about four fanfiction stories, eight letters, a box of chocolates, three lollipops, a bag of mixed candy, about six drawings, and the blue notebook.

I take the drawings first and look through each one. One is drawn in realism and it must have been modeled from fan photo. Two were drawn in a manhwa style, and my lips were accentuated. One was actually a picture of me and a girl holding hands and it looked really cute. One was drawn as an exaggerated cartoon where apparently I’m a fish with large lips. The bubbles of air where in the shape of hearts, so it was cute! The last one was a group picture of us in cartoon form where we all had huge heads. Aigoo, so cute. I grab my scrap book and place five of my pictures in neatly before closing it and putting it with my other scrapbooks. I have kept all the art given to me, even the naughty ones, because I feel happy that our Angels would do this for me. The last picture, the group picture, I will put on our wall in the main room. We all decided to dedicate that wall for that purpose, so that we can always see that we are loved by our Angels.

Next, I’m onto the letters. I read each and every one. I almost always find one that makes me cry, and this is no exception. Then again, I did get one of those letters that is rated adult, but I read it anyway. It’s embarrassing, but there was effort put into it, so I had to read it.

I would eat the candy, but I would get yelled at by Chunji. When we have candy, we wait until after we eat, and when we do, we share. Then again, we can’t eat that much candy anyway since we are supposed to be eating healthy and because some of us break out more easily. That being me.

So now onto the fanfiction. I know. Why would I read that? Well, because our Angels wrote it; that’s why. Most of them place me into a relationship with CAP, but I don’t really care. I used to just skim over the naughty parts if there are some, but I got over it. I really don’t care that I’m mostly paired with him, because I know that we are just friends. Maybe it’s because I see him as an older brother, like mine. He’s the youngest in his family, so he probably just sees me as a younger brother that he never had. I also every once in a while also get some with me and Chunji or L Joe, but after reading so much with CAP, I wasn’t fazed. In all honesty, the naughty parts don’t even affect me anymore. I used to be embarrassed, now, I just read the story. Actually, I almost died when I first read one. The others read it too, but we helped each other get over it.  It didn’t help that it was CAP and I, L Joe with Chunji, and Changjo with Ricky. It wasn’t as bad when it was a fictional girl; it was just embarrassing.  I have read myself with CAP, Chunji, a few with L Joe, and a couple with Ricky.

I look over to the clock midway through the first one, and it was almost time for dinner. I got up and went downstairs to see what they were doing. Ricky was setting the table and L Joe was talking to him from the counter as he stirred the pot. They were still talking loudly, and I think Chunji must be going to wake up CAP, which means it’s almost time to eat. I go back up and head to the bathroom.

Knock. Knock.

“It’s almost time for dinner!” I yelled in. I didn’t hear anything really, so I knocked again. “Changjo!? Did you fall asleep?” I didn’t hear anything still, so I hit the door even harder. “Changjo?!”

I heard a soft rustling sound in the bathroom before the door swung open and was met with a wet and mostly Changjo. The only thing he had on was a towel.

“Huh?” He looked me in the eye and had a look of confusion. I think he really did fall asleep in the bath tub.

“Dinner’s almost ready. Go get dressed and meet us down.” I walked away and made my way to the kitchen without looking back to see Changjo standing there with the towel low on his hips as he clutched the side to keep it from falling and further revealing his smooth hairless legs with small droplets of water sliding down carelessly like his arms as they tensed from being woken up suddenly and how his chest lightly raises and falls from the heat of the bathroom steam.

I sat at my usual spot at the rectangular table to the left of CAP next to Chunji. They just weren’t down yet. L Joe sat at his spot at the end of the table opposite of CAP’s and Ricky was sitting on a stool waiting for the others.

“What did you guys make?” I decided to start a conversation since it was quiet between L Joe and Ricky since their still a little awkward around each other.

“Oh,” started Ricky, “We made chicken soup, rice, dumplings, and cut up a cabbage as a salad.” He smile innocently and happily as he got up to stir the soup.

“Oh, sounds good!” I exclaimed. The house is to quiet right now. It needs to be noisy. “But, are you sure you made chicken soup?”

Ricky looked at me and furrowed his eyes in confusion. “What do you mean?”

I smiled at his confusion. He can be really adorable without realizing it. “You said you made Chicken soup, but L Joe is still sitting right there!”

He started to laugh and I smiled and laughed at my own joke.

“Yah!” Yelled L Joe as he hit me in the arm, “I am not a chicken!” I rubbed the sore spot on my arm, but I continued to laugh. “Like you’re one to talk, fish lips!” I just threw him a mehrong before getting up and running around the table so he won’t hit me.

“Ricky! Help me!” I yelled out. He just kept laughing.

“You’re on your own hyung! You’re the one that called him chicken!” As revenge, I hid behind him as L Joe tried to get to me. “Hey! Don’t use me as a shield!”

“Calm down you three, and sit so we can eat!” We looked over at the entrance as Chunji walked in with CAP behind him. Changjo walked in a little after and took his seat across from me next to where Ricky sits. Both Chunji and L Joe put served the soup and rice and put the rest in the middle. After the table was set, and we were ready to start, I prayed. Well, most of us pray. It is one of the few times when the dorm would be quiet.

We ate dinner normally, like we always do. We talked about anything and everything while we laughed and joked. We have a very comfortable air and we always smile. We usually eat quickly when we are out, but on days like these, we eat slowly and stay at the table even after we’re done to just hang out.

We disbanded after. CAP beat me to the shower, so I went to my room to finish going through the fanfiction.

“Hey, Niel!” I turned around to see Changjo with his hair messy, straight down framing his face and softening it, making his smile gentle. “Want to watch dramas with Chunji and me?”

I just shook my head, letting my hair block my view of him. “I really want to finish looking through the gifts before doing anything else.” I then raked my hand through my hair getting out of the way before smiling.

“Okay,” he said before turning around and walking to the main room. I quickly turned around and went into my room without looking at his broad toned back retreating.

I climbed back on my bed and started back where I left off. It took me about two hours to read them all, since they were longer than usual. This time, it was four with CAP, one with Chunji, and one with a random girl.  Only one was naughty though. All the other ones were warm and charming. I prefer those, because they bring a smile to my face. I don’t like those angst ones, because half the time one of us gets hurt or dies in the story, which makes me sad. I guess I’m done, so I should put these in the Fanfiction folder and the letters in my keepsake box. That’s when I noticed the light blue notebook.

I grabbed it and flipped through it again. It was really cute, and the pictures were too.

“It’s a journal to share your secrets with, so you won’t be burdened.”

Well, it is a gift. I won’t let any of our gifts go to waste. I looked over into my shelf and pulled out a pen that a fan gave me in Japan. It was a red pen with a bobble head of me at the top, but the ink was black. Let’s see.

‘Dear Diary,

You were a gift to me from one of our Angels. She said that you would help relieve me of my burdens, and that you would keep me happy. From today on, I will use you, so I’ll start by telling you my biggest secret.

I’m in love with Changjo. I know, from looking at me, you would never tell. I never let my eyes wander, I have control over my breathing, and I control my face. I don’t let on even a hint, and I intend to keep it that way. I play with him, since he’s also one of my closest friends. He’s only a year younger than me, but still. I’ve loved him for a while now. Keep this a secret for me.

I’m trusting you.
                        Ahn Daniel.’

 Well, that’s my first entry. Even though I know that Ricky won’t go through my stuff, I still find a need to hide it, so I put it in the back of my shelf behind all my scrapbooks. As soon as I was done arranging them, Ricky walked in.

“Hey, Niel.” I looked over to him and waved. “Are you done looking through your gifts?” I nodded quickly.

“Is the shower free yet?” He shook his head.

“Chunji just went in, and L Joe called after him.” I nodded my head again.

“I’m guessing you called it after L Joe?” He nodded again before taking out the contents of his bag. “What did you and the others do?” He started to separate all of his gifts into different piles, organizing them.

“Changjo and Chunji watched a drama while CAP, L Joe, and I practiced our expressions.” He then went for the letters, so I took it as my queue to leave. He likes to read his things in peace since he takes them all to heart.

“I’ll leave you to look through your gifts.” He nodded and continued reading. I walked out and as I walked towards the main room, the noise resumed. I could hear Changjo yelling and L Joe laughing.  I don’t know when they all look through their gifts, but I know they do because there are always more pictures on the wall. Oops. I run back to my room and pull out my scrapbook and pull out the group picture before heading back out to the main room. I grabbed some sticky putty and looked for a spot on the wall. We aren’t allowed to make holes on the walls, so we bought this putty instead. I found a spot to the right and stuck it on there. In all honesty, we’re halfway through our second wall, and at this rate, the whole room will be full by the end of the year.

“Hey, guys!” Called out Changjo, “We got a new picture!” The other two hyungs came up and looked at the picture. They smiled and complimented it. We talked for about half an hour before Chunji came out and L Joe went to go take his shower.  We talked some more and played a little bit. We started talking about art and somehow got spaghetti, but it is fun.

“L Joe should be coming out soon,” said CAP. “I’ll go tell Ricky to go on and get ready.” He got up and walked out of the main room to tell Ricky. He shortly came back though. “Niel,” he called.

I looked up at him and hummed a,”Hm?”

“Ricky said you can go first; he wants to finish reading his gifts.” I nodded and got up. I went to my room and got my things before heading into the bathroom.

When I got in, I contemplated whether or not I should take a bath or a shower. I chose the shower, because Ricky tends to read quickly and I don’t want to fall asleep like Changjo. My shoulders hurt a little too, so a shower would help soothe the pain. I usually just stand there, letting the water soak through my hair and pound down my back. We should go to the bathhouse one of these days; I want my back scrubbed. I won’t let CAP do it again. He was acting as if he would kill me if he scrubbed too hard. Chunji always does it for L Joe, and Ricky doesn’t like it unless his mom or dad does it, so maybe Changjo. Changjo, strong yet gentle. I can scrub his strong, muscular, toned back too. Then again, does he like getting his back scrubbed? I don’t know. I should wash my hair now.

I look over and grab a bottle. We have like three, but we all share them. I lather my hair up, spin part of it, and pull it. I’m a unicorn. If I pull these two this way…I am CL. Okay, now all of it standing up…I am Dara! No wait, all of it is up and white…I. AM. TOP! Now, as a Mohawk…Taeyang! Okay, I should stop now. Now to get the soap. Lather up until I’m nice and soapy, and rinse. I make sure that everything is rinsed off. No bubbles on me. No bubbles in my hair. I get out and grab my towel and dry off before grabbing my boxers and putting them on. Then, I grab my t-shirt and shorts to put on. I like dressing in here right after showering. It saves time and it’s warm. I go to the mirror and wipe off some of the steam. My hair is messy after toweling it, so I just shake my head a little so it can fall. I don’t bother to comb it until it’s dry, so I just leave and head to my room to hang my towel up.

Ricky isn’t in here. Where is he? I wasn’t in the shower that long, was I? I start to head to the main room,

 “Niel is in love.” I stop in my tracks in the doorway and my eyes widen at the sound of CAP’s voice.

“What!?” I heard Chunji yell out.

“And it’s with someone in here.” He continued.

 “How do you know!?” Yelled out Chunji disbelievingly.

“I just do,” he said. L Joe looks up and sees me at the doorway, and smiles. He smiles a ridiculous smile that makes me want to turn back around and run to my room. Before I could though, he got up and grabbed my arm.

“Call me, call me Niel,” he sang. He was mocking me using our new song, and I tried to pull away, but he just used two hands and pulled me in. “Come on, and tell me who it is.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about hyung,” I lie. I don’t want them to know about this. It’s why I trained myself to keep it a secret.

“Yes you do~!” He cooed. He dragged me in and pulled me down to sit with him. My face got really red from the attention to something that I did not want them to know about. “We all know~!” He teased.

What do I do now? They all found out, but how?!  I haven’t acted strangely. There is absolutely no way that I will tell them. I look over to Chunji.

“Chunji~!” I whined. “Won’t you help me?”

He looked away in disgust.

“What are you asking me for, you little ?” I reeled back in shock. Did he hate me now that he basically figured out that I’m gay? I don’t want to lose my friends. I knew that this might happen if they found out.

“Chunji!” Called out L Joe. “Don’t be so mean!”

“He’s the one that got into this!” Yelled out Chunji, glaring at not only me but L Joe as well. “There’s no way in hell…” I couldn’t hear the last bit because he started mumbling. He just crossed his arms and sank into the sofa.

“What’s wrong with him?” Asked Ricky.

“He thinks that Niel stole his man,” answered Changjo. Man? What man?

“Oh, you mean?” Started Ricky and Changjo just nodded. “But I saw…” he paused for a moment before pulling something out from behind him.

It was my light blue notebook. I stood up immediately and tackled him. He was trying his best to keep it out of my grasp.

“Give me back my journal!” I yelled out. I was finally able to pin him down and pulled it out of his hands. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“But CAP hyung is the one that took it first!” He exclaimed. I looked at CAP, but his expression did not change. I just got up and ran to my room and locking it.

As I ran, I could hear Chunji yelling, “Tell me who it is Ricky!”

“Don’t tell him Ricky,” answered CAP. “Niel has to tell him.”

“Then tell me whether or not it’s L Joe!” L Joe? Chunji likes L Joe? But, why would he think that I like L Joe? Wait, that means he doesn’t hate me because I’m gay, right? He hasn’t shown that he likes L Joe. Are they together?

I can’t deal with this right now. I want to go to my mom, she could help me. She has been with me since the very beginning, but will she still accept me when she finds out that I am gay?

“Niel!” CAP pounded on the door. “Come out!” I didn’t say anything. I just sat on my bed, clutching the light blue notebook to my chest. I looked over and noticed that my scrapbook was out. I forgot to put it back before leaving out. I looked back at the light blue notebook.

“You said you would take my burdens,” I whispered, “You said that you would keep me happy.” I wanted to throw it, rip it, something, but I couldn’t. It was given to me by an Angel. I can’t throw it away, and I can’t hate it. I just clutched it closer to my chest.

“We won’t let you out until you tell us!” Yelled L Joe. I heard a smack and laughing from him.

“Come on!” Called CAP. “Just tell them!”

“Why don’t you tell us?” Asked Changjo.

“Because I’m not the one in charge of putting his news on blast.” Heh. Really?

“But you’re the one that told us anyway!” Exclaimed Changjo.

I could hear CAP’s roll of his eyes as he sighed. “That’s because Ricky found out. If I didn’t then he would use that as leverage against him. He would have blurted out who it was if I didn’t keep his mouth shut.”

“Hey!” Ricky yelled. “Why do you think that I’m so evil?!”

“Maybe it’s because you always complain so much about not getting any lines behind his back,” answered Changjo. Changjo has always been so observant. He’s stuck up for me in the smallest ways.

I heard more pounding on the door. “I’ll let you go if you tell me it’s not L Joe!” Yelled Chunji. I didn’t answer.

“Shut up with that Chunji,” said Changjo. “You’ve said that enough.”

“Alright, then I’ll make it clearer,” he pause for a second. “L Joe is mine!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” responded Changjo, “We already know. I already told CAP when Ricky and I walked in on you guys making out.” So they really are together. I think that I’m the only one that didn’t know.

“Okay, then Niel!” Chunji yelled in again. “Go find a girl!” I heard him get hit. “Or a guy is okay too!” I heard him get hit again. “What!?” He yelled out, “He needs to go out and find someone or I won’t rest!”

I heard CAP sigh again. “Didn’t you hear what I said? ‘He’s already in love,’ I said. Fine. L Joe isn’t it.” He admitted. I didn’t care though, I’m still not coming out. “I know who it is, now stop talking about girls.” I heard him pause and some shuffling. He sounds closer to the door now. “Just ask him out!” He called in. “Stop being so scared and just do it! Don’t worry,” he said, “I’ll help. I’ll be here. Just ask him already and be brave!” I don’t know why, but his words comforted me some. I guess that it’s because I do see him as an older brother, and I know that he won’t leave and hate me.

 “I know who it is~!” Sang Ricky.

“Can’t you just tell us who it is?” Asked Changjo exasperatedly.

“It’s one of yall~!” He sang again. This is starting to get on my nerves and give me a headache.

“Won’t you just shut up?!” I yelled out. I think I yelled too loudly, because I heard a thump and Ricky giggle.

“This is fun,” he said.

“Sorry L Joe,” said Chunji. With their luck, they probably just punched each other. “Okay, let me think,” he said. This isn’t good. He may act like an idiot at times, but he is really smart. He is the best one out of us at puzzles, he just acts silly on shows. “I know that it’s not me. That would be bad if it was me. I got L Joe, so I’m good. It’s not L Joe or CAP.”

“You’re close,” I heard CAP whisper. I thought he said that he wasn’t going to tell! I grabbed a shoe and threw it at the door. “,” I heard him whisper in shock. “He heard.”

 “Ricky keeps teasing him, so he’s not it,” continued Chunji. I heard a gasp and a snap. “I know who it is~!” Sang Chunji. . Please don’t say it. Then again, I’m pretty sure the rest of them should have figured it out too. “You’re in love with Changjo!” He exclaimed. I could hear him dancing in victory. “He the only one left!” I then heard him stick himself to the door. “It’s okay Niel! Just go out with him!” How could he tell me that so lightly? He can’t speak for Changjo. I don’t even think he’s gay. “He’s had a crush on you since ‘Clap’!” Really? What if he’s tricking me? I still won’t answer.

“I know!” Exclaimed Ricky. “He’s just worse at hiding it.”

“Really?” Asked L Joe.

I heard more shuffling before I heard Changjo’s voice against the door. “Niel! Just so you know, it’s true.” It is. I got up slowly and walked to the door.

“Now you know~!” Sang Ricky. I could hear him giggling and trying to keep his excitement down. I got closer to the door and reached for the handle.

“You’ll always be my girl~,” sang Changjo. I don’t know why, but he could not say that. I yanked open the door and stared them down. I looked Changjo.

“My girl?!” I yelled out. They all flinched back, not accustomed to see me like that. “You know that I will top!” I slammed the door shut again and locked it. They were silent for a while before I heard them all break out into a fit of laughter.

“Hey guys,” called out Chunji in between his laugh. “You know…L Joe is…my girl!” They just kept laughing even harder now. I also heard a thud.

“Pabo!” Yelled out L Joe, but he didn’t deny it. This puts the fanfiction into a whole new light. I sat on my bed and started to giggle too. I guess that during all the laughter, Ricky must have unlocked the door because I was tackled back onto my bed. I was enveloped into a tight hug, and when I looked up, it was Changjo.

“Don’t worry Niel,” he said with a smile, “I love you too.” I smiled back at him and he kissed my cheek. It didn’t last long, because right after, we were crushed by the rest of the members jumped on top of us as well.

“Why didn’t you unlock the door earlier, Ricky?” Yelled out L Joe from on top of him. Ricky was gasping for air as he was right on top of Changjo, but below everyone else.

“Because it was fun!” He gasped. Even though this was fun and silly, I feel like I’m dying. They’re too heavy. “Get off now!” Gasped Ricky. They laughed before getting off. Changjo pulled me up and hugged me tight.

“Don’t be afraid of me,” he said.

CAP then put his hand on my head. And Chunji gave me a hug as an apology and L Joe gave me one too before pulling back. Chunji slung his arm around L Joe’s shoulder, but L Joe punched him.

“That’s for being a ,” he said. But Chunji Just laughed and hugged him harder.

“Niel and Changjo, sitting on a tree,” sang Ricky, “K-I-S-S-“

“Shouldn’t you be taking a bath?” L Joe cut in.

“Yeah, go clean yourself up,” added CAP. “You smell bad.” He waved a hand in front of his nose for emphasis. Ricky blushed then rushed out to the bathroom. CAP followed behind him. “Want me to scrub your back?!”

“No!!!” Yelled Ricky before slamming the door closed and locking it. “NOT AGAIN!” L Joe and Chunji just kept on laughing and ran out to help CAP.

“What about us?” They yelled.

“NO!!” He answered. I just laughed until I was pulled down and enveloped into another hug.

“I’m happy,” said Changjo.

I nodded. “Me too.” I looked over and saw the little blue notebook.

“That’s your journal?” Asked Changjo.

I nodded. “A fan gave it to me today.” I opened it from the back, and there was more writing in it. I hadn’t seen it before, maybe it was Ricky or CAP who wrote in it.

“I told you that I would keep you happy! you”

I laughed at the message. Changjo read it too and laughed along. He hugged me close kissed me. This was our first kiss.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” I said.

This was our first I love you. He held me close and cuddled into my chest. This is the first time we cuddled. We laid there in silence and he played with my hand. This is the first time we laid in silence. Tomorrow we will be going on our first date. This is my first true love. And it’s all thanks to that little blue notebook.