In Sadness And In Pain

Description

Zico was a cutter. He was stressed out. He was bullied. He has no friends. He was sad and in pain.

One day a boy walked in on Zico cutting.

He was Park Kyung.

Foreword

"I don't know what to do with my life." He said, looking down.

"It's ok, I'll help you stop and tell you what to do with your life!"I said, hugging him with misty eyes.

I, Kyung, will help Zico stop hurting himself and get a reason to continue breathing.

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Comments

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YouDunnoMe #1
awww sweet
EunSiHae6 #2
Chapter 1: O god that was fast... buuuuut it was beautiful.
Metis1 #3
Chapter 1: Wow. The ending was very, very rushed. Like I did not except that to happen but okay. It was good.
Ravens-Folklore #4
Chapter 1: Just found this and I think the other comments aren't necessarily true. I see where this makes sense and I can clearly understand it, but it moves way too quickly and is very unrealistic. I don't know if your first language is English, but there are words missing from your sentences which makes it seem like what you're saying could be something else.

For example: "I nodded as I head back to class only to find out that my teacher severely punished bullied Zico"

First off you were missing your ending punctuation with that sentence, but it makes it sound like the teacher was punishing Zico even though he hadn't been in the room. What you should have said was, "I nodded as I headed back to class, only to find out that my teacher had severely punished the boy who bullied Zico."

The unrealistic views come from the fact that I've never met one person who decided to date someone the day the met them. If you were truly hoping to save someone's life when you found them cutting, you would slowly befriend them and over a course of a friendship you might gain feelings. No one ever kisses and dates someone within five minutes of meeting them.

I think this could be a lot better and you have the potential to do that, you just need to not be lazy about it, write chapters, make it a longer story and explain in a lot more detail. Move more slowly through their relationship.
lastrainhome #5
Uh...okay, made no sense. Seriously.
I'm sure you can write waaaay better, I mean the starting was good.
Telissa #6
Chapter 1: ...what? Just what? I'm sorry but it just makes no sense. At all. Sorry but it's true. I'm sure you can write better though.
Mystex #7
Chapter 1: not sure if srs...?
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