I stare at the wall. And I guess you would say it stares back at me, but it doesn't, not reallly. It would, If I really belonged here. But I don't, and it doesn't.

A knock on the door and they don't wait for an answer before entering.

Three times a day, seven days a week, for the last two months, this same man has brought me my meals. He knocks, enters, sets the tray on the little table by the bed, then he stands at the door, watching me. Three times a day, seven days a week, for two months.

I guess he's supervising my use of the little plastic fork and knife. That's alright though, because I don't have to struggle through a plate of spaghetti with only a spoon like the other "patients" here.

I was taken to the caffeteria to eat lunch on my first day here, but I suppose you would say that didn't go over well and since then I've eaten alone in my room. Well I guess not alone but he really isn't...there...

I tried to talk to him a couple of times but stopped when he gave me that lost and blank look. I guess he doesn't understand sign language.

Aside from him, the only other person I see is the shrink. I wouldn't know or even care to know if she understands sign. She asks questions and I don't answer.

Recently she has taken up sitting and watching me from across the room, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday during our hour long sessions. Maybe she's waiting for me to tell her why, but that goes to the grave with me.

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I glance up at the man in the doorway. He's a good head taller than me and well built as well. You can see it under his perfectly white scrubs.

He has a strong and angled jaw and cheekbones. And his eyebrows? Well, he rocks them.

I see no reason for him to have learned sign language in the four weeks since I last tried to talk to him. I don't know, maybe he did know sign before and he just chose to ignore me. Ther's no ham in trying.

I slowly sign out, "What is your name?"

Instead of looking lost, he thinks for a minute, the corners of his lips turning up in the barest hint of smiles.

"SeungHyun"

I laugh, that's pretty much all my throat is good for now.

He seems about as shocked at the sound as I am.

He recovers and asks my name in return.

I make a general gesture for writing and give him a questioning look.

He pulls a pen and pad of paper from his back pocket and hands them to me.

I give him a smile and scribble down my name then had the two items back.

"Jiyong. I like it."

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