South Korea’s hottest bad boy was in a slump.

Kwon Jiyoung felt the strain in his eyes after hours of attempting to write music.  His notebook was filled with either chicken scratch or empty spaces.  Usually, he would be able to freely write down lyrics and it would make perfect sense, but these days everything he wrote felt pointless.  The music inside of him was slowly distancing itself from his soul.

Yes – even musical geniuses fall down to the ground.

He needed to pick himself back up, but how?  He mentally thought of every sad, happy, and joyful scenario.  Yet nothing seemed to spark his emotions.  Instead he felt empty and that emptiness was beginning to depress him.

Sometimes he felt like the world expected too much from him.

Ever since the media revealed to the public that he had been producing music for Big Bang, 2ne1, and other YG artists, the pressure started to become more than overwhelming.  Critics literally picked apart his songs to the bone and analyzed them like a science experiment.  He even stopped reading their comments because of how harshly they judged him and his music. 

So what if he cursed and talked about swag?

All he cared about was being true to himself and to his fans.  He wanted his listeners to take a walk in his shoes by simply listening to his lyrics.  He didn’t want to be fake.  He could care less about the haters and anti-fans.  They could hide behind their keyboards and type all the hate comments they want because in the end, he always came out on top.

Disappointment.

Sometimes he’d wonder, what if he gave up rap and music all together?  Would he be the biggest disappointment in the Korean music industry ever?  His critics would mock him even more.  That’s why he did his best to keep Big Bang together this past year during their most difficult time period they encountered as a group.  As a leader, he couldn’t disappointment his groupmates, the fans, and himself.

However, at the moment, he was stuck in a HUGE dump.

Looking back into the past, the last time he felt like this was when he was in high school.  He remembered his trainee days at YG where he spent almost all of his time practicing his raps, dancing, serving coffee to the veteran artists, and cleaning the floors.  He remembered when all of his classmates and teachers would ask him when he was debuting or if he was going to debut at all.  He began questioning his career path and his decision to enter the entertainment industry.  He simply became unsure.  He remembered all the hardships that he had to endure – but he wasn’t alone.

Back then, he had Youngbae to pull him out of his dump.

But these days, he felt like he was out-of-reach from everyone’s grasps.  No matter how many times Youngbae, Daesung, Seunghyun, and even Seungri tried talking to him, nothing seemed to get him out of his gloomy mood.  In fact, his mood seemed to worsen as the fall leaves disappeared and the temperatures dropped.  Winter was slowly coming around the corner.

Jiyoung knew his mind was in a state of depression.

Nobody ever told him that it was depression, but he knew he was depressed with the way he carried himself lately.  He felt like the happiness had been right out of him.  He’d frequently catch himself spacing out or not paying attention to anything.  He couldn’t even focus on the simplest tasks.  Everything around him seemed to move faster while he moved slower.  He found himself struggling everyday.  To make matters worse, he had to have new songs written for Youngbae’s new mini album within the next few days.

He needed a remedy – fast.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his buzzing cellphone – it was a text message from his girlfriend.  She wanted to meet up with him at a nearby coffee shop to talk.  He didn’t want to go, but he knew she wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.  They hadn’t seen each other in almost two months due to her hectic schedule in both Korea and Japan.  Like Jiyoung, she was also in the music industry as a member of an idol group.

SNSD’s very own chodding – Im Yoona.

Kwon Jiyoung was indeed involved with a member of one of South Korea’s most famous girl groups.  He was one hell of a lucky bastard to a score a girl like Yoona too.  Who would have known a drunken encounter with her at a bowling alley one night would of eventually led to a relationship?  He even did a silly dance in front of her and her members.  Of course he was more than embarrassed.  He was mortified at the fact that he danced to Mr. Taxi out of all the songs he chose to dance to.  He had humiliated himself in front of them, yet it won her over.

Jiyoung entered the coffee shop and found a table in the back in a private area.  He fiddled with his thumbs as he waited for his girlfriend.  Within minutes, he found himself staring at her as she walked into the shop.  She had on a bright pink cap that practically covered her face, but he knew that it was her just by the way she walked and carried herself.

“Oppa,” Yoona said while taking a seat across from him.  She unwrapped the scarf that was around her neck and hooked it on the seat next to her.

“Hey,” Jiyoung greeted her in a tired tone.  He was happy to see his beloved girlfriend, but he couldn’t express it at the moment even if he tried.  He had too much on his mind.

She crossed her arms and frowned.  “I spoke to Daesung oppa on the phone yesterday,” she told him.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” he asked with a confused look on his face.

“That you’re depressed,” she quickly replied.  Jiyoung’s groupmates had called her the night before in a desperate attempt to help their leader out of his slump.  She knew her boyfriend was stubborn when it came to asking for help.  Like many men, he thought he was superman and that he’d magically snap out of it.

“I’m not depressed,” he said flashing a very big smile.  He could tell that she knew he was faking it.

Yoona let out a deep breath and sighed.  “Stop lying to me Kwon Jiyoung,” she finally said to him.  “We’ve been dating long enough for me to know when you’re lying.”

Silence engulfed the pair.

Jiyoung watched Yoona stand up and take a seat next to him.  He knew that she was upset at him for not telling her about his depression and that she had to hear it from his group members instead.  He didn’t want to worry her with his own problems so he never told her.  He felt her arms wrap around his waist as she locked eyes with him – damn he missed being with her.

“Oppa, I love you,” she bit her lips and told him for the first time – she really did mean it.

He blinked twice.

“I love you Kwon Jiyoung,” she repeated her words again, firmly this time.

A smile formed on Jiyoung’s face as if everything around him suddenly had life again.

He had finally found his cure.

Her love was his remedy.