I look over on the other side of my bed to see that her spot is still empty like it’s been for a while.

My best friend who use to come over all the time and we’d stay up late laying on my bed but a little bit ago her parents decided that she was to old to be sharing a bed with a boy that’s her age.

I roll over and smile when I see the moon and stars shine in my room making it feel like she’s still here with me.

It feels like she’s in my room telling me about some random event of her day.

I stare at the night sky at the unique light it creates.

The light embraces me like her arms as they would wrap around my chest and she’d lay her head on it.

I want only her.

Nights where we’d stay up all night talking as she held onto me are hard to explain in words. S

he always joked around with me about how the moon dances light steps around us and the wind would brush past us through my open window.

The memory of them makes my heart flutter more than ever.

I liked the days better where she would stand up and make me dance around my room or hers. It

I pull out my phone and see that she messages me.

“Good Night,” it read.

I smile and saw aloud not bothering to message her back like every night, “Good night my love. Good night.”

When she would hold me I would feel like I’m on clouds and nothing would ruin it.

The days were just perfect. It felt so nice.

Even now, the thought of it keeps my heart and mind fluttering.

 

I wake up to figure out that, I have to face her today. I’m going to go up to her and admit that I was being an idiot and that I like her… No more than like that, I love her.

I pull myself from my bed and see that I’m still wearing the sweater that she bought me like I do most nights that it gets a tad bit chilly. I pull the sweater off and look outside to see the sun rising.

She used to love this view so much.

She would wake up early to watch the sunrise no matter the time then she’s slip back under the covers and sleep for a little bit longer. She would sit there and play with her guitar that she would bring with her some days and play a simple melody.

Somehow, I want to talk to the guys about how to apologize to her.

I sit in front of my window with an open notebook and stare at the sun well it raises.

An idea pops into my head and I start writing.

I remember a bit of the melody and keep it in mind.

When I finish I race out of my room after finishing what I wrote and stare at the sheet of paper.

I hold it out in front of me as I make my way to school.

“How will it give it to her?”

I bump into someone causing us to fall down and for me to land on top of the person.

I open my eyes not realizing that I had even shut them to come face to face with beautiful eyes of my best friend.

In front of her face, she has a few papers, and I see that I had almost kissed her if it wasn’t for the papers in the way.

I look to see that I dropped what I wrote for her and almost freak out when I start to look around I see her picking up some loose paper from the ground.

I drop the idea and just help her.

If helping her with collecting papers will help me get close to her, again I’ll gladly do so.

I pick up the papers and hand them to her and she smiles at me.

It makes my heart flutter at the sight at it and in my mind.

I hit my heart and scream at it, “Shut up or she’ll hear you.”

“Thank you, Ray.” She says as she bows to me surprising me from her action.

She was never one to be formal to anyone especially me.

I must have hurt her for not answering any of her messages that she has been sending me everyday mostly night.

“____ I’m sorry that I haven’t been answering you. It’s just its just weird not talking to you every night like we use to. I don’t like the whole I’m going to text you about my day.”

She nods and smiles at me, “I know how you feel, Ray. My parents are gone for a few days and my brother is going off to the university tonight so we can try to go back to our tradition for a few days.”

I nod my head, smile at her, and decide that tonight I’m going to tell her how I feel.

I walk to my homeroom and gladly slip deep into my seat.

Kangjun leans over to me, “You’re in a chipper mood today. Did you tell her then?”

I shake my head and smile at him, “I’m going to tell her tonight when she comes over.”

“Oh so she talked her parents into letting the tradition survive?”

I shake my head, “No, they are going away for a few days and her brother is going off to the university today.”

“Ahh… Still how do you plan to tell her?”

“I had a song but I lost it so I’m going to try and rewrite it so that I can sing it to her. I actually wrote it for all of us to sing but that ship flew.”

Kangjun nods his head, it snaps up when he hits my arm when ____ walks into the room, and she smiles over at me.

“Ahh there you are Ray since when did you get to class so early. Here,” she hands out to me a sheet of paper.

I take it to see that it’s my song that I wrote for her.

“Its really beautiful whoever you wrote it for is very special.”

I nod and smile at her, “I know and thank you.”

She nods and races out of the room.

I look at the paper worried that she might not show tonight after that.

Kangjun simply hits me on the back and reads the song.

I see him nod his head and mumble things as he reads the song.

“Ray sing this to her yourself then we’ll do it for the talent show or something.”

“Really you think I’ll be able to?”

He nods his head then hits my arm pointing to the teacher who walks in with a scary smile on her face.

I shrug at least I have tonight with ____ to look forward to.

 

The first half of school passes and its time to head to lunch with the guys.

I pull myself out of my chair and open the classroom door to come face to face with ___.

She smiles up at me and shyly asks, “Can I join you guys for lunch my friends are not here today?”

Before I can answer Kangjun answers, “Of course come on we’ve missed you, ____.”

She laughs showing twinkling stars in her eyes and she smiles.

“I’ve misses you guys to,” she says as she takes one of my elbows and one of Kangjun’s elbows leading us to the schoolyard where we always have out lunch.

When we reach the guys, they jump up and give ___ a hug right away.

The entire lunch period it’s not like anything happened.

___ fed me some of her lunch when I started to ask her what she made and she simply told me to eat some.

 

The last bell of the day rings I jump up from my seat and push all my things into my schoolbag.

Kangjun gives me a look and laughs, “Seriously dude she’s got you whipped.”

“Who has who whipped?”

Standing behind him is ___ with a purely innocent confused face.

I hit Kangjun and give him a look, which just makes him laugh then run off.

“___ do you want me to walk you home?”

She smiles up at me and nods hers head.

The first block or two is an awkward silence soon she breaks it.

“Ray who did you writes that song for?”

“Someone I want to ask out soon.”

Her head hangs down and I hear her mumble, “Then it can’t be me even though its sounds like us.”

I look down at her and frown thinking, “Why would she say that? Of course, it’s about us. It’s a song I wrote for her and only her.”

We reach ___’s apartment building that is a block from mine.

“I’ll see you around six,” she says to me.

I nod my head and kiss her forehead as if it is any other day.

She blushes and smiles sadly probably thinking ‘it’s just a kiss you’d give a friend.’

 

It’s six and I’m running late to get to ____’s building when I reach it she’s standing in the entryway since the door is locked from the inside and you can’t open it without a key.

She spots me and smiles at me.

She picks up her small bag and another one and races out of the building and into my arms.

I laugh and look down at her, “Did you miss me that much? It’s only been what,” I fake look at the time, “three hours.”

She nods and says, “Yeah but you’re late and you’re never late. It made me worry.”

I wince and don’t want to tell her it’s because I was setting up the background music for the song that I wrote for her.

She looks up at me as we walk to my building and asks, “Can I hear you sing the song?”

I shake my head and say, “The first person I want to hear it is the girl I plan to confess to.”

She frowns and quickly pulls her mask back on, “Oh but I’m your best friend.”

I nod my head and say, “I know but I plan to confess to her by tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow that soon?” she asks me sounding worried.

I nod my head and smile at her, “Yeah I have a feeling she’s going to love this song.”

I see invisible tears threatening to fall from ____’s eyes.

I feel my heart hurt but I ignore the tears and say to myself, “She’ll be smiling at me by the end of the day.”

When we reach my apartment building, the door attendant lets us in and we walk over to the elevator.

We get inside and I push my family’s floor.

I smile when the door opens and we exit it walking to my apartment number.

When we enter my apartment that I share with my family I sigh in relief to see a note that says they’re going to be at a friend’s house tonight and that I shouldn’t worry about them.

I laugh and show her the note that’s written as if my dad is already drunk.

“Well it looks like the apartment is just for us tonight.”

She nods her head, as she looks up at me, “What do you want to do?”

I look outside to see we have a little bit before its dark out and you can see the stars and the moon so I shrug.

“Let’s watch a movie,” she exclaims and I smile at her childish behavior.

“Alright,” I watch her pick out a movie.

I smile to myself as I realize that by the time it’s done the moon will be lighting up my room and I can sing my song.

I’m a bit afraid for trying out this dance that they guys helped me create to go with the song but for her its worth a try even if I make a fool of myself at least it’ll be for her.

I pull her to my room, slip the movie into the DVD player, and pull her to lay down on my bed so we can watch the movie in comfort.  

When the movie is over, I look down to see that ___ had fallen asleep.

I laugh a bit and look outside and that’s its dark out.

I hear ___ mumble, “Don’t move just let me stay like this with you one more time.”

I smile at her and pull out my DVD player remote and choose the disk where we had burned the instrumental part of the song on.

When the music starts playing, I start to her hair hard enough to stir her from her sleep.

I start to sing the song I wrote just for her and me.

She looks ups at me in dazed confused eyes.

I end the song and she asks me, “I thought you were going to sing that song to the girl you like first?”

I nod my head and answer her, “I did. I wrote this song for a girl who I’ve known since I was a little kid, whom I realized with our almost every night sleepovers that you make my heart feel this way. When you stopped coming over, I realized just how much you mean to me. So when I had lost this song this morning I felt my heart drop. When you gave me this song and I told you it was for a special girl I was scared that you’d realize that you are the special girl.”

She looks at me shocked and even with the look on her face; I still find it amazingly adorable.

I lean down and kiss her forehead and I whisper to her, “___ will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”

She looks up at me with teary eyes and I’m shocked.

I start freaking out and she chuckles, “These are not tears of sadness but joy, Ray. I have been dreaming of the day you’d ask me out.”

“So did I do well?”

She shakes her head and kisses my cheek, “It was beyond what I would have ever thought it would be.”

I nod and kiss her forehead pulling her to my chest, “I love you, ____.”

She nods into my chest and smiles, “I love you even more, Kim Hyun Il.”