Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

Is it true? Do love really ends with a tear? Does love really hurts? Does love left with only pain? These questions have always lingering in my mind. Making me think more and more about us, about our future. I once tried to give up. I once tried to stop feeling. I once tried to stop loving. A relationship which will never be approve by anyone or I thought so.

“A flower cannot blossom without sunshine; a man cannot live without love.”

Those words till now in my mind now and then.

I will always remember what my reply to that.

What a joke? Love, what so great about it? What so great about it till you can give up on your career, your family….well, I not that good.

Love suppose to be just a common meal, nothing more. A meal that fill up our empty stomach every once and then.

And then, I realized all these while I was wrong. All the tears, you shed for me whenever I threatened to have a break. I could never pay back. You told me it is okay because you love me.

Love is a strong word yet you can give it to me so easily. And I took years just to open up to you. I am so glad you gave it to me and only me.

I always thankful to you for not giving me up. I could never tell you that because of my pride. But I am thankful.

Do you still remember you run after me after I broke your vase.

Our first meeting, to be honest you looks quite pitiful.

Our second meeting, you told me your will sent me to police if I don’t pay up. And I thought you are cheap.

Our third meeting, you fall in love with me. And I thought you are nothing but a playboy.

However, continuous meetings, you prove me wrongly and I just wouldn’t admit.

“Would you be my boyfriend?” you held out a bouquet of flowers and I laughed. Am I that girly? Of course, I rejected.

Till now, I still don’t understand why are you so persistent?

And you told me, “Human will never succeed if you give up.”

Well, you win. I am yours after your fifth tries. We are just like other couple. We hug, we kissed, we fought but we never end. You will always crawl back, apologizing even though the faults lie on me. I did felt guilty but not enough to make me put down my pride.

My first heart break happened when your tears flow down your beautiful face.

“I think we need a break.” How I wished I can take back all those words.

You cried, you begged.

I am sorry. I could never said it to you that why I am writing down.

I regretted, I shouldn’t let you cried.

You are my everything yet I took so long to realize.

I am lucky to have you but you not. I will do my best to make you happy, that what I can promise…in my heart. You will never know.

Sometime, I am thinking if you are really that easy. How can you accept a random yet simple marriage proposal.

I don’t really pay attention when I choosing the ring, I don’t even know your size finger and I spent hours on guessing. You love white roses yet I picked yellow flowers and after that I found out those are used when visiting funeral but why do you accepted. You should have threw them on me and screamed at me.

Love is really big, don’t you think so. You love me that why you accepted me for who I am. I had never plan to change for you. You love me too much and I hope I could do the same.

Married for 10 years. You will always stare at the playground, looking at kids playing happily. I know you love kids but again you give in to me. I don’t like kids because they are noisy and troublesome. I really appreciate everything you did for me. 

Having you lying beside me every night, is the happiest thing I could have.

Having you holding my full of winkled hand, is the warmest feelings I had ever felt.

Having you just sitting beside me, enjoying the silence, is the most relaxing thing I could ever find in the weekend.

I love you, Leeteuk. You know right?

All these feelings will buried in my heart, it is selfish for not letting you know. I know, I always know. 

“Siwon, you are awake.” You rubbed your eyes cutely. I stared at your face and I have to admit you still look the same as 10 years ago. I leaned down for a morning kiss.

A kiss makes heart young, wipes out the years.

Leeteuk, I love you. And I know you know it too. 

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How do you think about it? Bad? >.<