Saturday 10th Nov

I looked out the window and it was snowing. tiny bits of snowflakes dropping down from the sky. The icy cold ground. I drew a heart shape on the window. Today's date was a date that used to be so important. I managed to let the information escape from my mind. Clearing all the none useful memories out. My heart aches every time i tried to remember your face, my memory refuses to display your image. Yes, absence do make the heart grows fonder. I took out my old scrapbook that was filled with tons of images. The person who used to shed tears for me, I tried to buried everything, I just buried it like something only i know.Leaving you was never my choice, it was unavoidable and i felt like a slave having to obey the commands blindly and not trying to save my soul to fight for you and for that i felt like a fool. I feel sorry that you fell for a fool like me. Never in a million years was it my plan to make you fall for me and for that i apologize. Because of you i can feel the buzzing energy of love. Now i feel so lifeless. Sorry for ever leaving you. I regret it very much. I'm sorry if i ever pushed you away when you needed me the most. I swear i am really sorry if i was the cause to every single tear you shed. The only thing i wish for right now is to see your face, face you even if you refuse to see me, even if you hated me. I just want to bid a proper farewell.  You would be hurt if i didn't let you go. You deserve to smile brightly so why are you crying my love? You deserve a better life but i heard you were suffering because of me. Forget me and live in peace, brush me away from your life. You should have done that. But i was too late. Who knew your life would be taken away so fast. All i wanted to do was to protect your smile and make it everlasting. Like yesterday, just smile at me.