“Two people can only live as one when each is prepared to give and receive trust and understanding. Above that lies respect. Without respect for how the other feels, no marriage is worthwhile”

I don’t know what to think anymore. My mind is just so ed up that I don’t even know how to take explanations and hear them. I hate myself right now for I’m too closed minded, but can you blame me? He just told me that he is cheating. What do you want me to do? Let it all pass and not give a damn?

I can’t stay in one room with him, so I’ve decided to sleep in another room and hope that things will just be a big joke in the morning. I still can’t believe that this is happening and I’m hoping for it to not be real.

“Ishi” Omma called over the phone.

“Oh! Omma…it’s already late…why are you still awake? What made you call?” I looked at the clock that reads 4AM.

Did G-dragon called her for help? This is not like my mother in-law at all. Did something happen to Athena?

“Athena woke up crying….she told me that she had a bad dream and wants to talk to you and Jiyong” she said and I suddenly felt bad for my daughter.

“Aigoo” I said and next thing I know it, I’m hearing loud cries on the other line already.

“Here’s Omma” Omma told her and her sobs got louder as she got the phone.

My heart is aching while hearing my daughter cry. This is actually the first time that she ever cried over a dream “Beautiful…this is Omma…why are you crying?” I asked.

At that point, all I want to do is go to my in-laws house and comfort her personally, but I’m still too scattered to even face anybody.

“Omma….I had a bad dream” she said in between sobs “You and Appa are fighting and we left him again….we even rode a plane…we were both crying so hard Omma…I’m afraid….I don’t want us to leave Appa again” she cried harder and I can really feel her pain and how scared she is.

Is this really normal? Why does it seem like Athena is feeling that something bad is happening to me and her father? This is so freaky.

“Aigoo…beautiful….it’s just a dream…it’s not true….there’s no need for you to cry or be scared….no one will leave….we’ll always stay together” my heart is aching in every word that comes out of my mouth. I feel like I’m lying to my daughter and to myself as well.

“But it feels real Omma” at this point, I don’t know what to do anymore. She’s crying like there’s no tomorrow and even though my in-laws are comforting her already, she won’t stop at all.

“Where’s Appa?” she asked and my heart almost stopped.

How can I pass the phone to him without going to his room?

“He’s already sleeping beautiful…don’t worry…Omma will go there tomorrow to fetch you…alright? For now…you have to sleep already…it’s late” I told her and she stopped crying.

Athena doesn’t even want to put the phone down, but I was able to talk her out. I sang her a lullaby and the moment I heard her soft snores, I knew that she’s sleeping already.

“Ishi? Are you still there?” Omma asked.

“Yes Omma” I answered.

Honestly, I don’t want to talk to my mother in-law right now for I have a feeling that I’ll breakdown and tell her about what G-dragon told me awhile ago. As much as possible, I don’t want to involve his family in our problem for it will just bug and disturb them. Thing is, I don’t know if I can survive it by myself only.

“Are you crying? Why do you sound like you just cried?” she asked and I cleared my throat, hoping that my voice will change.

“No Omma…I think I’m gonna have colds…but…it’s all good” I lied.

“Aigoo…drink a lot of water and some medicine” she said “We’ll go there tomorrow….I’m going to help you with the housework” she continued and I shook my head as if she can see me.

“No Omma! I’m good…this is nothing” I feel so frantic coz I know that they are going to feel that something wrong is happening in this house once they go here “mmm….I’ll go there instead….to fetch Athena…..I know that you’re doing a lot of things in the restaurant” I reasoned and she sighed heavily.

“Alright…I’ll cook for you and Jiyong” she said, her voice, cheerful.

“I don’t know if Jiyong can come coz he’s got work…but…I’ll try to tag him along” I don’t know if I can even speak to him. This is just so crazy. I’m the biggest liar ever.

The moment I hanged up the phone, tears flowed down my cheeks right away. I feel so heavy and totally miserable. I suddenly remembered my daughter. What will happen to us now that G-dragon is playing around? Sure, he’s still going to be a father to her, but is he going to tell her the truth? I’m afraid that he might introduce that girl to my daughter and make her go to his side so that in the end, I’ll be left alone. I know that my daughter will not even think of replacing me. Thing is, she’s just a child and her mind is still too young for these adult matters and she can easily be persuaded.

I cried myself to sleep. My eyes were closed but my mind is still working at its best. I’m thinking of a good way to patch things up between me and G-dragon or at least how to be civil to him, but I can’t even think of anything. I hate that I have to think about these things when he’s the one who is supposed to be straightening things up for us.

Morning came and I’ve decided to just go to my in-laws’ house right away. I don’t have to wait for G-dragon to wake up for I don’t even have plans of speaking to him and seeing him.

I peeked in our room first before leaving and saw him sleeping soundly in bed. I went near him and saw dry tears on his cheeks. Like me, he must’ve cried himself to sleep as well. What happened to us? What happened to the perfect marriage that we once had?

I don’t know how long I stared at him “What did I do to make you cheat?” I muttered to myself and next thing I know it, I’m walking out the door while crying rivers.

The moment I pulled up in front of my in-laws’ house, I gathered my up and even put make-up just to look “normal” to them. I’m praying for them not to feel my pain. Transparency has no place in me right now. They don’t have to know anything about G-dragon’s infidelity.

“OMMA!” Athena is the one who opened the door and her angelic face really soothed my pain even for a bit.

I was able to carry her even if she’s already too heavy for me “How’s my beautiful cry baby?” I asked and she giggled.

“Omma…I got really scared because of that dream…I thought it was real” she hugged me by the neck and I rubbed her back gently for comfort.

“It’s just a dream beautiful” I said and she gave a nod.

“Oh! You’re already here! Where’s your husband?” Appa asked, making my heart beat fast.

“He’s got a lot of work Appa” I answered and he shook his head then sighed.

“That man should really give time to family…I’ve noticed that he’s spending too much time working…aigoo” he said and I just gave him a small smile.

As a matter of fact, I didn’t even notice that at all. I don’t know, but him working almost 18 hours a day seems normal to me already.

“Are you sure you’re fine Ishi? You look like you’re sick” Omma said in the middle of lunch.

“I’m good Omma” I answered and she just stared at me.

My mother in-law has this “power” of feeling your emotions and from the way she’s looking at me now, I can easily tell that she can sense that something is happening. I’m crossing my fingers for her not to ask coz I don’t even know if I can still hide everything to them.

Hours passed and I’m enjoying myself already. Dami-unnie and I are so busy watching our kids swim and I’m so thankful that she’s not asking anything about G-dragon.

“So…how are you and Jiyong?” she asked and I just sighed heavily.

I actually thought that she will not talk about her brother, but I was wrong. Now, I’m doomed. I swear. I don’t want to hear anything about him right now for I feel like I’m gonna breakdown just by hearing his name.

“We’re good” I answered and she looked at me weirdly.

“You’re good” she looked into my eyes and I know that she’s seeing the opposite of my answer.

This is the reason why I don’t want to talk about my husband. Everything is still so fresh and my mind is still filled with all the that happened last night.

“We are….why Unnie? Do we look like we’re not?” I am trying to sound normal, but my voice is shaking and I know that I’m just a few inches from breaking down.

She looked at me intently then shook her head “I can feel that something is going on between the two of you” she answered and I hissed.

“Ishi…we are your family…you can tell us anything” she said and I chuckled.

“We’re good Unnie” this is the hardest part I guess. I’m not really good in lying and I have the tendency to spit out whatever I have in mind in just a snap or if you’re too pushy.

“Ishi” she continued to stare at me and at that point, I already know that I’m busted. That she knows