I watched from the door as Eunhyuk called Sungmin and pulled him into a kiss. They were officially a couple…

I didn’t need to see anymore and walked away, down the school corridors.

Sungmin had promised to help me win Eunhyuk’s heart, but he snatched him away instead.

They thought I didn’t know but it was so obvious. The looks they sent each other, and how awkward the two were when I expressed my love to Eunhyuk. They both knew how much I loved him… yet they put selfish needs firsts.

That’s okay… people need to be selfish to be happy. They need to be selfish to survive.

Ah… the breeze is nice against my cheeks.

I took off my black Converse and got up on the ledge of the railings, which was only wide for one of my feet. Below me was a large forest and it was about 40 feet down.

“I feel so… alive.” I breathed out, closing my eyes and opening my arms.

No one was in school because it was late at night. Only we—Eunhyuk, Sungmin, and I—were allowed to stay in order to finish a project.

They thought I left early… and I did. But I came back to get my science textbook and my suspicions were confirmed.

Could this… all be a dream? I wondered in my head.

Tears unknowingly slipped by, and when I opened my eyes I was hit with the harsh reality of the world.

Laughing at my own foolishness, I walked on the ledge after throwing away my shoes to the side. It was hard to keep balance on the narrow concrete but the thrill of the height was exhilarating.

Should I disappear from this world? If so, should I do it in front of them, or secretly and keep all the pain to myself?

My first love in all my life and he got stolen by whom I called a ‘best friend’… it’s funny to see how naïve I am.

“Donghae?” someone calls out to me.

I stopped humming and my breath seemed to be stuck in my throat.

“W-what are you doing here?”

Eunhyuk…

Why do you sound so afraid? Did you think I would never find out?

“Secrets… cannot be kept forever.” I whispered, turning my head slightly to look at him over my shoulders. His figure was blurry thanks to my tears but I managed to make out his face.

You looked confused… and sad… and afraid.

I’m the one who should feel all those emotions. Stop making me feel guilt... stop making me feel like I’m the one ruining your relationship!

And like that, my foot slipped.

I wasn’t surprised. In fact, this was the perfect chance I was waiting for.

Everything seemed to be in slow motion and Eunhyuk’s face turned to pure horror. That would have to be the last expression I see on him before I go, huh?

I expected to feel pain all my body over but I only felt it at my wrists. A painful stinging…

“…Let go.” I said without opening my eyes. Eunhyuk had my dangling off the building, pulling me up inch by inch. In a flash he mustered all his strength and hauled me up, throwing me to the concrete ground. He let go of the breath he was holding and glared at me with fury in his eyes.

“Are you crazy?! You could have died! Idiot—“

I blocked out everything else he was saying and started to chuckle humorlessly.

He’s giving me hope again… He shouldn’t have saved me.

My tears don’t seem to want to come out anymore because even as I walked away from my 7 year crush, all I did was hum a song and try to ease the throbbing of my heart.

Well then, it seems I would have to disappear from this world while keeping all the pain to myself...

“Donghae!” another voice yelled, which belong to a lucky boy named ‘Sungmin’.

That was when something flared up inside of me. Hate? Or maybe it was sadness? I didn’t know

…I could be selfish just this once right?

Just this once… I want to be happy and make them suffer.

I want to be selfish to survive… in my own world.

So I ran and got up on the ledge again, this time so quickly they couldn’t stop me. The couple started running towards me and I merely breathed.

“Are you happy?” I abruptly asked, making them stop about 5 feet away from me.

“W-what do you m-mean?” Sungmin stuttered. I heard Eunhyuk gulping and shrugged my shoulders.

I wish I could see his gummy smile before, you know, dying.

…Am I going crazy now?

Yeah… I must be, because out of nowhere I started to cackle and laugh, like a kid who was rewarded with the world’s largest lollipop.

Love and betrayal are making me desperate...

“Secrets are bound to be revealed! Haha~” I yelled cheerfully, turning around with a smile.

Realization struck their faces and my task was done.

Just one more thing left to do; the simplest one.

I extended my right foot first… and then my left foot. The gravity of Earth pulled me down and kissed me goodnight into a dream in which I would never wake up again.