It’s early in the morning, this is supposedly the day you’re all going to learn Dilly Dally’s choreography. Before this day, you were all granted a three-day vacation and then you’ll be kicking off After School’s preparation for another promotion in Japan. Everyone sure is hopeful that the group will make it bigger there this time.

 

You’re the first one to arrive in the practice room. Not knowing what to do while waiting, you casually walk around the room, doing something with each round like turning the lights on, then the air conditioner then whatever switch there is in the room. You started stretching while still walking around, but it didn’t take a while when the door slid open.

 

Even behind a hoodie, her gait and blonde hair pretty much tells you it’s Nana. You bowed and politely greet her with good morning. When you brought your head back up, her hood was already brought down. She’s smiling as she approaches you.

 

“Hi.”

 

Her smile slowly fades as she sits her back against the wall near you. She pulls your hand down as she tells you to sit beside her. You followed what she wants without hesitation, but you suddenly felt weird, and you just can’t contemplate to whether it’s a good weird or the opposite. What’s a good weird to you anyway?

 

You both are facing this huge mirror in front. You’ve never been alone with Nana. You feel like she’s really mysterious and all that things you are not comfortable with. You sometimes get scared when she gets back to her neutral face. It’s like a face that makes you feel she’s plotting the perfect murder for you. She already made it clear in front of everyone that it’s her normal face… but still…

 

“So… What did you do?” You asked, trying to erase the silence that you think is awkward.

 

“I just slept a lot… and ate… a lot.” She softly cackled and you smiled.

 

“You?” She asked back.

 

“I… did the same. We’re all going to need it.”

 

“Hmm,” she pouts momentarily as she faces away from you. You swore you felt your heart fell. “I doubt if someone even had the time to shop or whatever they wanted to do other than sleeping and eating.”

 

You agreed and smiled and you both went back to the awkward silence. You started praying that the others would just arrive quickly and save you from the dilemma that is Nana.

 

“E-youngah…”

 

You almost gasped. She never called you like this.

 

“Yes?” You tried to act cool, but you felt the awkward spilling.

 

“Uhm… Can you…” She was hesitant and you’re itching to know what she wants but then the door burst open and you saw all the other members laughing and carrying coffee in their hands.

 

You somehow felt betrayed.

 

~*~*~

 

The dance practice started immediately. Kahi was making everyone do warm-up exercises. You were settled beside Nana who seemed so focused now. You wanted to be focused too, but why can’t you stop stealing glances every once in a while?

 

~*~*~

 

The dance started smoothly. You liked the flow of the music and it hyped you up that you even thought it’s enough to completely focus on the dance alone… not until you get distracted by Nana’s blonde hair and the scent of her shampoo.

 

Kahi stops every once in a little while and directs everyone which place they will go and what they would be doing.

 

You reached the first thirty seconds of the song after twenty minutes. Your shared line with Nana is finally up. Kahi directed you. You had no idea what she was saying but your body’s automatically following everything that Kahi does.

 

It’s when Nana’s hand slowly intertwined with yours that you felt like your heart wanted to exit your body via your throat. Your bodies were slightly touching a minute after and you didn’t stop holding hands after three minutes (that felt like forever). It was a bit embarrassing for you to dance in front of Nana as she holds both of your hands but you stopped thinking after feeling her thumbs slowly caressing your fingers.

 

The first two minutes of the song went smoothly and after the first two hours of practice, Kahi decided to give a two-hour break. Everyone was surprised with Kahi’s mood during the practice. It was light and she didn’t say any harsh words whenever someone commits mistakes. Well the mistakes were barely there anyway since the choreography was much easier than what they used to learn.

 

Lizzy invited you to eat out and you were ready to say yes but you felt an arm snake around yours.

 

Nana teasingly said “I invited her first” to Lizzy and you’ve never felt so jittery. It’s like everything Nana does make your heart feel so abnormal.

 

“Did she really invite you first?” Lizzy asked you directly.

 

She didn’t, but it would be fun to play along.

 

“Yeah, she did. Sorry.” You smiled apologetically.

 

Nana dragged you out of the practice room and then out of the building without saying a word. Her hand was still on your wrist and you’re more than okay with that.

 

She stopped a few meters too far from the building exit. You felt blood now freely flowing out of your hand and you saw Nana putting back her hoodie.

 

“What are you doing?” You asked out of confusion.

 

She just simply shrugged and pulled you further back when she saw the other members coming out of the building.

 

You both didn’t say a thing until you see all the other members disappeared.

 

Nana then again held your wrist and lead you back to the practice room. You’ve never seen this side of Nana before and you doubt if anyone ever did. You like it. You like the really warm and comfortable feeling Nana gives off. Damn, and Nana even was the least person you ever expected to feel warm ever since you first entered the dorm.

 

“Is there anything you want, Unnie?”

 

“I found this really nice ramen house and I thought you’d like it?”

 

You smiled.

 

“You like ramen right?”

 

You don’t feel like eating ramen right now, but who cares?

 

“Sure, I do.”

 

Nana smiled back at you as she fumbled for her phone in her pocket. You walked around the practice room trying to figure out Nana’s sudden attitude towards you, but giving up at the first few seconds because you can hear Nana trying to disguise her voice but you knew she was busted when you heard her admit she is After School’s Nana.

 

You watch her approach you as you sit down.

 

“He said he’s a big fan of After School and he’ll give us the ramen for free in exchange of autographs.”

 

“What a deal.”

 

You both laughed until fading into deep silence again.

 

You tried so hard to think of a word to say.

 

“You’re acting weird today, Unnie.”

 

You almost slapped yourself for thinking out loud.

 

“I’m always like this.”

 

That was a blatant lie, but you’re not as frank as Jooyeon or Lizzy to point it out so you just let it slide.

 

~*~*~

 

It was so awkward with Nana, you felt. It seemed as if she’s okay with both of you being quiet, but you can’t stand it, you don’t even know why. It’s disturbing you.

 

There were times when you just beg Nana to talk but then she just smiles at you ask you if you like the food, you quickly answer it’s good even though it’s not. Eating with her makes it all worth it, no matter how odd you feel like, her smiles compensate.

 

After eating, you quickly cleaned up. Nana did most of it though. She beamed at you after. Once again you felt your heart melt.

 

“Do you want something else?”

 

“No, thank you.” You politely declined.

 

“Good.”

 

Her arm instantly linked onto yours and she gently dragged you forward. You followed without hesitation anyway.

 

“Where are we going?” You asked, but it seemed like you’re already there.

 

Nana opened the door and you both quickly entered. It was another practice room with band instruments.  You smiled. If people would just freely say what they wanted without hesitation, maybe everything would be easier, you thought.

 

She ran towards the guitar and walked back to you, smiling.

 

“Play for me.” She said as she handled you the acoustic guitar.

 

You gladly accepted it and you both once again settled beside each other.

 

“What would it be?”

 

“Hmmm…”

 

You knew she had already something in mind anyway.

 

“When I fall?” You asked.

 

She gasped, “How did you know?”

 

“Everybody loves that song.”

 

She nods and you immediately started strumming your guitar. You can tell that she loved how you started by the way she looks at you. Her smile was so pure. It’s not the kind of smile she forces out in variety shows. You know how much she dislikes those.

 

You tried to sing the lyrics with your heart and you see the satisfaction in Nana’s eyes. This granted you to continue with a smile and a heart.

 

When I fall, it was love at first sight.

 

You found yourself singing with such emotion and you felt like you’re floating.

 

At your smiles, I dream

 

I don't ever want to wake up from the sweet happiness

 

I'm happy with the sweetness,

 

So I don't want to wake up.

 

The lyrics struck you like you are the person who can relate to the song the most.

 

You savoured everything when Nana joins you at the second chorus until the end.

 

“Whoa.” She said when you finished. She then followed it with applause.

 

You smiled at her in return.

 

“You’re really great. I wish I knew how to play.”

 

“Thank you. If you want I can teach you during some free time.” You suggested.

 

She just beamed like mad and you didn’t notice–– when the hell did your faces become so close? There was the silence again. You don’t know how to feel anymore. There were no words coming out of your mouth and so was Nana’s. You’ve never felt so confused but you know you just want to close the distance between you and her.

 

Too bad, the door burst open.

 

You both were startled and you panted. You didn’t even know why.

 

“There you are.” Jooyeon said, obviously irked. “Come back now. We’re going to start with the practice again.” She finished and immediately shut the door.

 

Sigh, if only good moments last.

 

~*~*~

 

The following weeks confused you to no end. Nana has been distant now, it was even worse than when you first entered the dorm. It’s like she’s given you false hope but what happened to both of you last time, was it even something to begin with?

 

What was with Nana anyway? Is it just because she wanted you to play the guitar for her? You’ve been questioning yourself with various stuffs no one would ever care about.

 

It’s like Nana hasn’t ever spoken a word with you after that day ever again. She still holds your hand tight during dance practices, you both still exchange glances… but that’s as far as it went. You figured you can’t really tell the things you want that instant… at least not with Nana.

 

You should probably just give her a break. She’s been working nonstop for the past few weeks and still being able to keep up with After School’s activities. But you just think it’s still not a reason to just shut her world from you, or at least that’s what you feel like she’s doing.

 

The next day, you decided you want to practice alone. Some of the members are still busy doing work despite being a few hours away from flying to Japan to kick off Japan promotions.

 

You arrived at the practice room but were surprised to find Nana there, alone.

 

“Oh…” You said while thinking of words to say.

 

“I’m… sorry… I didn’t know…”

 

You were ready to open the door and run back to the dorm but…

 

“No. Stay.” She demanded… and without a word you glued yourself to the wall.

 

Wow. She still talks to you and you just wanted to brick yourself at that moment from thinking way too much. Well… were you?

 

“Do you want anything?” You asked as you see her wiping her face with a towel. Sweat was a little evident in her gray tank top. You put your damp palms on your cheeks in hopes of hiding your madly reddened cheeks.

 

Even with obvious blushing Nana tried to act oblivious to you.

 

“I’m so excited and nervous at the same time now… as always.” She started talking even though she knows none of you care about Japan now.

 

“Me too,” you briefly answered.

 

“Mmm.” She smiled as she settled beside you. “We’ve already concluded the practices but I don’t know… I feel so anxious now.”

 

“Why is it?”

 

“I don’t know… but it’s already a familiar feeling.”

 

You fell silent again. Silence is your new best friend now.

 

“E-youngah…” She sings your name. It was filled with so much cuteness and sadness at the same time and it was like all the entities in this world gathered up to make you feel weak.

 

You looked at her tired face with so much sympathy.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Let’s go somewhere.”

 

~*~*~

 

The cold zephyrs brush your face as you both settle on a log in the beach. The sun was high up but the heat was barely there. You love this weather.

 

You saw Nana closing her eyes as if slowly dozing off. The calming sound of the waves crashing on the shore is more than enough to keep you both asleep until the night… but something still bothers you to no extent.

 

“Why are you being like this to me?”

 

Her eyes quickly shot open as she looked at you, her façade screams about how puzzled she is.

 

“You’ve always treated me like air. You only called me if you want me to help you with chores, clean the cat poop or sometimes when we’re in shows. You’ve never talked to me about anything deep… It was like you’ve never wanted me in the group. Before we started the practice weeks ago, you only called me “Yah” a––”

 

You weren’t ready to stop talking but her index finger on your lips pretty much tells you that she’s had enough.

 

“Okay. First, I’m really sorry if I made you feel that way.” She tried to look into your eyes but she kept looking away once in a while. “I’ve always wanted you––I mean from the first time we met when you almost spilled Ara’s hot choco onto my Bang outfit.”

 

You suddenly burst into laughter.

 

“You remembered.”

 

“How could I not? You spent like a whole hour saying sorry even though I kept saying it was okay and nothing really happened.”

 

Ahh, past actions always embarrass you. You’ve always thought she hated you from that day forward. You almost groaned, you do think about things too much.

 

“A lot of trainees don’t even know what down to earth means. They haven’t even debuted but they already feel so high and mighty.”

 

You nod in agreement, remembering the days a lot of trainees belittled you.

 

“And I usually don’t have the courage to say cheesy things but out of all the trainees who could’ve been the new After School member… I’m so glad they chose E-young.”

 

There was overflowing sincerity in her voice. And you just wanted to give in and hug her like in the movies but, “Why weren’t you talking to me?”

 

She looked down and smiled.

 

“Maybe blame the surge of courage for being so delayed.”

 

Truthfully you didn’t get it, but she already answered all the things that had stirred you crazy so what more should you want?

 

Silence, maybe a less awkward one.

 

~*~*~

 

You slowly opened your eyes. It took you a little time to adjust, but you were too flustered that you have been resting onto Nana’s shoulders until this deep night.

 

Yes. It’s already too dark now. The nearest road is two kilometers away and you have to go to this really dark path.

 

The moonlight was enough for you to see what time it is from your wristwatch. Yes, you’re going to leave for Japan in three hours.

 

Nana wakes up as soon as you lift your head off of her shoulders. She blinked a few times and she was about to go back to sleep again but you caught her face with your other hand since the other is in Nana’s.

 

“Wake up.” You gently tapped her cheek.

 

She looked at you with her drowsy eyes.

 

“What time is it?”

 

“Approximately three hours away before our flight to Japan.”

 

She flipped out and pulled you to stand up. Horror was evident in her face and you didn’t know whether you should be scared too or just sink into her cuteness.

 

“Our manager’s gonna kill us!!”

 

She screamed as she hurriedly ran back as if she’d make it far. You’ve never been scared of After School’s managers probably because you were always responsible… minus this time.

 

It’s all worth it anyway, you thought.

 

“You have your phone with you, right?”

 

She stopped and looked at you.

 

“Oh.”

 

She let go of your hand in search of her phone and you silently begged that she’d hold your hand again.

 

And she did –– after she found her phone.

 

You both walked at the path that will lead you to the road. The moonlight was enough to see the way. You’ll just have to go straight forward for maybe about an hour if you continue to go on this slow pace.

 

You thought that this scene was beautiful than eerie. Mostly because you’re with Nana. You could’ve stayed longer if the time allowed.

 

Once again, you wished for good things to last longer.

 

Nana was trying to talk calmly but you can hear your manager screaming from the other line. Now you feel scared.

 

“They’ll be here soon.” She said with a smile, it was as if you can’t see a trace of worry.

 

“What should we do?”

 

She shrugged and then squeezed your hand. You squeezed back.

 

You both looked at each other and laughed.

 

This will go on for quite a while, you guessed.

 

~*~*~

 

There was no time for stupid airport fashion. You are both literally minutes away from missing the flight. That includes your manager.

 

Thank god he had to stop nagging once you reached the airport. You and Nana now have to hide from cameras and just thank goodness there’s just a little of them tonight.

 

You thought even when shrouded in a hood, Nana is still glowing. She looked at you but you looked away, avoiding the awkward even though you love it now. She acted clingy to you again and you felt like you’re the luckiest person in the world.

 

~*~*~

 

You’re all set and five minutes away before the first show starts. You gathered around in a circle. You purposely went beside Nana. You all tightly held your hands and prayed for a good show. You pray nothing else would go wrong and just enjoy the roaring of thousands of fans who gathered to see you all perform live. You’re now too hyped up.

 

You looked at Nana and you were a little surprised that she was looking at you too.

 

“Good luck,” she mouthed to you.

 

You smiled.

 

“You too.”

 

You then all placed your hands forward.

 

“After School…” Kahi said.

 

“Fighting!” You all finished and threw hands in the air.

 

Before walking towards the stage you felt someone squeeze your hand. It was familiar and suddenly you lost your mind again.

 

Not now, you thought. You need to concentrate, you begged your brain. You mustn’t lose yourself.

 

~*~*~

 

The performances were finally finished and you can tell everyone is extremely happy. Outside the dressing room are the people who are still bouncing from joy because the start of the tour is so successful. You hoped that others will be just as great.

 

You remembered making little mistakes but you don’t think anyone noticed so you’re okay with it.

 

Nana entered the dressing room with a big smile plastered onto her face.

 

“We did it!!!!” She confidently screamed since it’s just the two of you in this dressing room.

 

She tackled you with a hug. Her arms abruptly s around your waist and yours, her neck.

 

You both jolly jumped around, feeling the adrenaline brought by the success of the show. But then you both stopped after a few moments because what were you doing?

 

You still both haven’t let go of each other and you don’t feel like you want to do that.

 

Nana’s face is really intoxicating up close. It’s like it’s all you’ve ever wanted to see. She’s always glowing in your sight. Her face has become kind of serious again and you would die to know her thoughts. Maybe it’s the odd position and odd silence?

 

Your brain just stopped functioning when her lips landed onto yours. They were soft and Nana was so gentle in you, as if one wrong move and you’ll disappear from her grasp.

 

You kissed back––expressing the feelings that have grown so fast because she’s just so damn addictive. Ever since that day of the practice, she’s all you had in mind.

 

You both looked at each other again and you uncontrollably laughed.

 

“I can never blame surge of courage.” You said.

 

She chuckles at you.

 

Jooyeon then entered the room.

 

“Hurry up and dress for the after party you slow hags!”

 

“O…”

 

Jooyeon looked at the both of you suspiciously.

 

“Oh my god, go do it somewhere else!” She madly raised her voice but you’re both aware that she’s playing. You let go of Nana and it was mutual.

 

“Unnie, it’s not like that.” Nana said with a straight face.

 

You’re literally a few seconds away from bursting into laughter.

 

“Don’t you patronize me. Shoo! Shoo!” She chased Nana away and you curled in the corner, laughing.

 

Good moments do last, you thought.

 

Now it might be impossible but you start to hope for forever.