Seven years

He had spent seven years giving everything he had to those he loved most – his heart, mind, body, soul, tears, blood, sweat

Only to leave them in a few days’ time

Park Jungsu wasn’t quite sure if he was ready to celebrate… or to say goodbye.

                The next anniversary he would probably be able to celebrate with them would be the ninth one and he couldn’t help but wonder how things would be like when that time came. Who would stay? Who would go? Would they ever be complete again? How many things would he miss until that day came? It was too heart-breaking and he hadn’t even left yet.

Serving the military was his biggest sacrifice to date.

                He knew it was duty first before all else. He knew that better than anyone, being the Super Junior leader and eldest brother to fourteen other boys. But not all duties in life was easy and what he was about to start by the end of the month was the hardest one yet. Jungsu had to leave everything behind – the always packed and tiring schedules, the thousands of adoring fans and fourteen boys he’d give up his life for.

Jungsu wondered then how he was going to survive for twenty one months.

                Super Junior had been his life for so long and for twenty one months, he was going to have to live without them. He hadn’t enlisted yet but he already had an idea how it was going to tear him apart ever since he had begun trying to withdraw himself from the others. He seldom joined them to watch TV no matter how much he wanted to wipe away Sungmin’s tears when they watched Sooyoung cry in The Third Hospital. Sometimes, he’d eat ahead so that they had no choice but to eat without him. Jungsu reasoned to himself that it was necessary for all of them to get used to how it’d be like when he was gone.

But it was too painful already… and he knew he wasn’t the only one hurting.

“… Hyung?”

He turned away from the wall, finding Kim Jongwoon standing by the door. “Yeah?”

“The party is about to start…” Jongwoon spoke hesitantly. “Do you want me to tell everyone else to wait for you?”

Jungsu knew that he was expecting to be told to tell everyone else to go on without him. The selfless part of him said it was the right thing to do… but he was going to be selfish this time. “No, let’s go.”

                Surprised as he was with his answer, the younger man smiled, leading the way out of the bedroom. Jungsu inwardly sighed. It was their seventh anniversary after all and even if it was just for one day, they deserved to be genuinely happy. He couldn’t deprive them and even himself of that. Even if it was the day they’d remember all the tears they shed, all the times they fell, all the hardships they face, it was also the day they celebrate every smile, every happy tear, every triumph, every memory and all their ever lasting friends.

                It wasn’t really a grand party per se; nothing like the anniversary fanmeet for this year. But it was a party nonetheless; one that led the second floor of their dorm to be more packed than usual. Jungsu stood off to the side, content to just watch for now. Jongwoon had gone on to join Shin Donghee; the twosome hanging random decorations that they found in the storage room just to make the room look more festive. The front door was kept wide open; Kim Yongwoon just entering the premises with a case of beer in his arms and a pan right above it. This was his fourth trip and down the stairs to get whatever Kim Ryeowook needed from the kitchen downstairs.

“I am not going down there again for you.” Yongwoon grumbled under his breath, setting the case down on the kitchen floor and handing the pan to Super Junior’s resident cook.

“But if you wanna eat later, you have to help me, hyung.” Ryeowook smiled a bit too sweetly, knowing that he was winning the ‘battle’. “Hyung, there’s a Tupperware of kimchi on the counter downstairs. Can you get it for me?”

Grumbling under his breath about seemingly innocent yet abusive almost-maknaes, Yongwoon stalked off back to the first floor. Jungsu nearly laughed at the scene; a light-hearted feeling spreading in his heart. It was definitely good to have everyone’s favourite bear around. It had been painful too when he was gone, especially given the circumstances… but it was all behind them now. They were moving forward together and that was what mattered.

“ANCHOVY!” Lee Sungmin shrieked, managing to kick the doormat to Lee Donghae and Jungsu’s room to catch the glass that Lee Hyukjae dropped thanks to his fast reflexes. “What the hell? We’re going to run out of glasses if you don’t stop!”

Hyukjae pouted. “I wanted to see if I could juggle.”

“Well, there aren’t any anchovies in a circus, right?” Cho Kyuhyun smirked when his hyung glared, reaching over to pat his cheek. “Looks like you’ll be stuck to being a singer.”

“Who left the door open?” A somewhat annoyed voice spoke and everyone’s combined attention shifted to the main door, finding Kim Heechul standing there, fresh from work. “You’re letting the flies inside the dorm!”

“There are no flies around, hyung.” Donghae reminded the older man in between his trips to and from the kitchen to set the finish food on the long table.

He rolled his eyes at that, finally moving from the doorway to hang his coat and hat. “Thanks for becoming one with the door, hyung.” Yongwoon began dryly as he stepped inside the dorm.

Ryeowook blinked from his spot in the kitchen. “Where’s the kimchi?”

“I found something better on my way up.” Reaching outside the dorm, Yongwoon yanked the kimchi-totting Kim Kibum inside.

Kibum glared at the older man, heading over to deposit the requested kimchi in Ryeowook’s arms. “Here you go, hyung.”

“Aren’t you…” Jungsu swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. “You said you were busy with another set of auditions and whatever.”

“But it’s our anniversary. I haven’t missed one and I’m not going to start now.” He grinned, wrapping the eldest in a short yet tight hug, knowing what Jungsu wanted to say without the older man having to. “I missed you too, hyung.”

“Do I have to get anything else downstairs?” Yongwoon’s voice boomed throughout the door before the atmosphere could get all sappy. “Because if not, I’d like to sit down.”

Ryeowook beamed. “You can sit down now, hyung.”

Yongwoon let out a sigh of relief, reaching behind him to close the door when a shoe stopped it. “I didn’t come here to have the door slammed in my face.” A voice spoke from the other side of the door.

A sheepish smile crossed his face as he opened the door wider to let Choi Siwon in. “Sorry, horsey.” He made a move to close the door once more only for something to block it again. “What now?”

“Hello to you too, hyung.” Henry rolled his eyes good naturedly, entering the dorm with Zhou Mi right behind him.

“Thanks for helping me, best friend.” Zhou Mi shot a pointed look – or at least he tried to – at the Chinese Canadian’s back; the older of the two sporting a stack of pizza boxes in his arms.

                A sentimental smile crossed Jungsu’s face as he watched his thirteen brothers scattered throughout the dorm. For twenty one months, he was going to have to give up this family – this family he had loved and cherished for seven years, and even more. Was he ready to give this all up? A part of him reminded him that he had no choice.

“Hyung?” Donghae snapped him out of his thoughts; a plate and a pair of chopsticks already in hand. “Are you okay?"

Jungsu he knew he hadn’t much time left and he was wasting it by just standing there. He made a face as Donghee and Hyukjae hoarded one of the pizza boxes. “That’s my favourite pizza!”

                And so that was how they celebrated their seventh year together. Sure, there was going to be a bigger, grander celebration with those many ever lasting friends who loved them but this party, no matter how small and simple, felt more intimate. Sure, it was noisy and rowdy and the usually messy second floor became messier than usual but it felt like the home they didn’t have for such a long time.

“Get your own, you soda-stealing maknae!” Jongwoon was about to snatch his can of soda back from Kyuhyun when the doorbell echoed throughout the dorm. “Who’s that?”

A confused expression crossed Ryeowook’s face. “Did anyone invite the managers? I don’t know if we have enough food.”

The doorbell rang once more and a pointed look for Jungsu had Heechul heading to the door since he was the closest one. Expecting to see one of the managers, Heechul yanked the door open; his jaw falling down in shock. Behind him, Jungsu had dropped in his chopsticks; the fourteen boys gawking at the sight before them.

Hankyung smiled shyly. “Do you still have room for one more?”

o-o-o-o-o

                It was already a few minutes before midnight but Jungsu was still awake. The dorm was silent now and undoubtedly much cleaner. Hyukjae, Jongwoon, Ryeowook, Kyuhyun and Sungmin had returned to the first floor an hour ago, followed soon after by Zhou Mi and Henry. From the silence below, he could tell that they all had gone to bed just like the rest of the residents of the second floor… sans Hankyung and Heechul. Those two would still be up until early in the morning because heaven knows how much they have to talk about, the hurt feelings that have to be appeased. It was the start of a long and possibly difficult process but Jungsu was still happy.

At least Heechul wasn’t going to sleep facing an empty bed anymore.

                Unmoving, he stood before a huge corkboard that decorated an expanse of one of the walls. It had been Donghae’s idea to put it there. Pinned to the corkboard thanks to the colourful thumbtacks were pictures; polaroid versions of many of their pictures that Kyuhyun had printed. A smile crossed Jungsu’s face as he gazed at the many smiling faces before him. One day, when all was said and done, it was the happy times that they were all going to remember.

                Jungsu remember the last time he stayed up, staring at all these memories. It was the night after his enlistment day had been finalized. He had wondered when were they ever going to be complete, when he was going to feel whole again. He thought he had forgotten how it felt like but he recognized this feeling in him and he welcomed it. Because even if they were separated by two floors, Super Junior was whole again. Everyone was home.

Smiling to himself, he retreated back to his room as the clock struck midnight.

The seventh anniversary was over and it was day one of year eight.

They had come a long way from 2005 to 2012.

Seven long, hard, happy, fulfilling years… and more to come.