Holding Hands

Daehyun clinks his spoon against the side of his  coffee cup gently, blinking and trying for the hundredth time to calm himself down. He was trying not to sweat as he rubbed his clammy palms together, because that would mean ruining the expensive GAP hoodie he had picked out days before this, ironing it over and over again, because everything had to be perfect.

Too late. Daehyun could feel each creeping bead of sweat seep out of his pore, the sneaking droplets of salt rolling down the expanse of his back, threatening to ruin his day and perhaps even his entire future. This day had to be perfect. This day could mean a possible fulfillment of his entire being; the first day of his journey with his other half.

Okay, maybe he was being too serious about this.

He tries to be as normal as he possibly can without seeming too much of an ignorant jerk because for the past twenty minutes, he had done nothing but lose himself in his own thoughts even though he is right across, and Daehyun knows if he doesn't hurry up and do something soon, he would think that this was all a waste of time and worse, Daehyun gulped, that Daehyun was a waste of time.

Was it his fault though? Was it his fault that a certain someone is too perfect, too adorable and too untrue for Daehyun to even deem himself worthy to marvel at?  Because every single time his eyes travel down the dark mahogany surface of the coffee table, they would stop at his hands and go no further - his vision rested instead on those long, slender, creamy hands that were clear of any blemish save for a tiny beauty mark on the side of his pinky.

It was so reachable, just a few centimeters away from his own, and Daehyun wants nothing more then to grab it and never let go.

But no, what did Harry Potter always say? Try grabbing the hand and you end up awkwardly missing and grabbing the sugar bowl instead.

The farthest his eyes could go was the pretty sliver watch that adorned his tiny wrist, and then his eyes would shy away, opting to fall and observe the tiny bubbles floating atop his dark cappuccino instead.

"It's a nice day out huh."

His voice breaks through Daehyun's train of thoughts and Daehyun flinches, but manages to nod slowly after getting over the slight shock of hearing the voice.

Yeah well Daehyun, this is a date in case you haven't noticed, and during dates you do a little something called talking.

Daehyun scolds himself in his head silently, wanting to kill himself for not taking the chance to go on with the conversation that he had tried to start.

Daehyun looks up to find him staring, and his face flushes at the eye contact. He honestly feels like breaking down from nervousness and start going down on his knees to apologize for wasting his time, for not talking to him, for being a horrible first date, for breathing and for taking up valuable space in the world because Moon Jongup shouldn't even waste his time on pathetic existences like his own.

"I am really sorry," Daehyun blurts, and Jongup looks at him, surprised.

"I- you know -I am wasting your time like this because we aren't even talking and I am so, so sorry because you must feeling super bored right now but I can't help it because you are perfect and I feel all useless and shy around you and- oh my ing god did I just say that out loud oh my god I am so sorry," Daehyun apologizes again and he grabs tufts of his own hair, facing downwards and looking at his lap. He wants nothing more than the chair below to open up and swallow him whole, because he was sure what he just did topped his list of 'Most Embarrassing Things' of the year.

And this was a big issue, because the word embarrassment naturally becomes Daehyun's middle name whenever he is around Jongup.

Daehyun hears a soft, melodic chuckle across the table and he sneaks a peek at Jongup, feeling his face heat up as Jongup gives him a kind smile.

"It's okay, I-I am nervous too, but thank you for the compliment," Jongup admits shyly as he tucks a non existent strand of hair behind his ear, the apple of his cheeks dusted over with light pink and Daehyun wants nothing more than to gobble him up whole because how can anyone in the world be this precious.

Ever since the day they got into the same class, Jongup introducing himself with a small handshake after settling into the seat in front of him, Daehyun has caught his eyes drifting to Jongup's lean back from the teacher more times than he could count.

He thought it was infatuation at first, trusting it to go away like all the other crushes did over time, but every single time he sees Jongup bend over to help a confused classmate with his Math homework, or help the teachers tidy up the board after class, he finds himself falling further and further into those kind brown eyes, those thin, bowed lips that have never seemed to let slip a crude word or gossip.

Daehyun's heart has been an emotional roller coaster over the course of the entire year; feeling it sink to the depths of his stomach when he 'accidentally' overhears people confessing to the boy, feeling it float up again when Jongup rejects every single one of them and only to feel it punctured by arrows and bullets as he comes to the realization that since people that were way above his standard had been turned down by the boy, the dream of spending his years with him, getting married and perhaps even finding a house by the countryside - seemed nothing short of a fairy tale.

Daehyun wonders if this had all been an accident and that Jongup had never meant to say yes to his pathetic excuse of a confession because all it involved were choked words and broken sentences that seemed like gibberish.

Daehyun wonders if Jongup had heard his words wrongly and said yes to the wrong thing, thinking that Daehyun had been asking about a study date in the library instead of an actual supposedly romantic date that couples - lovers - had.

Daehyun wonders if Jongup had been too embarrassed to say no after agreeing and he wonders and wonders if this was actually happening; that the boy of his dreams and the one he swears is his missing other half - is actually sitting across him, quietly sipping his latte.

Daehyun wonders for a second whether Jongup feels the same way, and he wonders if the atmosphere in the room had gotten noticeably thicker, because all of a sudden the couple in the table next to theirs decided it was a good time for a round of tongue wrestling.

"Why not we go out instead?" Jongup meekly suggested and Daehyun hurried to comply, an even shade of pink spreading across both their cheeks.

Daehyun finds it even more distracting when they are outside because Jongup's hand is just a few centimeters from his and his sweat has decided to transport themselves from his back to his hands instead, and Daehyun finds himself in a dilemma of whether to hold Jongup's hand or not because he doesn't want Jongup to be creeped out by the fluid that was oozing from his pores at an overly excessive rate.

They walk in silence over a stretch of road with a thick canopy of trees hanging over them and the wind blows suddenly, rustling the leaves and they start to fall, tumbling and somersaulting their way through the air. Daehyun finds himself blushing because this was like something out of a drama, and he looks over at Jongup, who looks dazed as the he watches the leaves fall.

Daehyun finds himself drawn to the boy's features, his angularly defined jawbone and the tall bridge of his nose. There was a slight twinkle in his eyes, gentle and kind, as he watches the leaves fall with a child-like radiance. His lips were parted in slight awe at the scene, a contented sigh escaping from those lips as he gazes at the specular, exuding a childish, fragile glow as the scattered beams of the sunlight through the canopy of leaves were splayed across his features in just the right amount.

Daehyun finds himself inhale sharply at the way Jongup looked at the moment, so exquisite and innocent, like something out of a water colored fairy tale illustration. A leaf spirals its way down to the crown of Jongup's head and Daehyun's hands move on its own accord, reaching over to rid of the foreign object that disturbed the carelessly perfect arrangement of Jongup's brown locks.

A second barely passes as Daehyun realizes what he had done, and he starts stuttering out apologizes, bowing over and over again.

"I am sorry, oh my god I am so sorry-" Daehyun stutters, sounding like a broken record.

"Stop!" Jongup laughs and Daehyun buries his face in his hands, feeling embarrassed at making such a fool out of himself.

"Why are you apologizing?" Jongup says gently with a slight tilt of his head as he reaches over to tug Daehyun's hands from his face. Daehyun mumbles something incoherent about touching Jongup's hair without permission and he finds himself blushing at the contact of Jongup's hand and his.

Jongup's face is a rosy shade of pink as he follows Daehyun's line of vision to both their hands, and slowly but surely, he timidly wove his fingers in between Daehyun's, pausing a while at the feeling of the gaps between their fingers being filled perfectly.

"I-Is this okay?" Jongup whispers, smiling shyly as he trains his eyes towards the ground instead.

Daehyun finds himself floating to god-knows-where and he forces himself to sink back down to Earth again, managing a nod of affirmation. He dares himself to gently squeeze Jongup's hand a little and he can't help but realize Jongup's hands are much softer, warmer than he had imagined.

Jongup gives him a small smile, and Daehyun finds his heart thumping so loud he was afraid Jongup would hear it too. Daehyun hesitantly smiles back, and they start to walk down the stretch of road again.

"Those leaves are so pretty," Jongup says, his voice laced with awe as a new gust of wind blows, causing a new round of leaves to detach themselves from the branches and float through the air towards the couple.

Not as pretty as you, Daehyun thinks, but he doesn't say it out loud.

"Cherry blossoms are prettier though," he replies instead, a newfound confidence from the warmth shared between both their hands. "My grandfather and parents used to bring me to see the cherry blossoms when I was a child..."

He gazes at Jongup intently, willing himself not to look away as Jongup meets his gaze. Jongup blushes and looks in front again, smiling slightly.

"Oh?"

"And I said that I was going to bring my partner to go watch them as well, one day."

There is silence for a while as they continue to walk, and Jongup slowly rests his head on Daehyun's shoulder, the taller's breath hitching slightly before relaxing again, and Jongup should be able to hear the erratic pumping of his heart now if he hadn't already just now. Jongup gives Daehyun's hand a gentle squeeze before saying,

"Take me to see them someday?"

Daehyun separates their hands for a tiny second to hook their pinkies together, before tangling their fingers together again.

"I promise."

[A/N]:

The inspiration for the cherry blossom scene came from [here] Hope you enjoyed this <3 we daejong shippers need to save our ship after the huge hit from Killing Camp Ep 2 TT^TT

Coming up next: Cuddling Somewhere