Title: > Never Again...

Genre: > Romance, angst

Summary: > is there such thing as an unbroken promise?

A/N > all is in Kyu's POV and the italics are his words

I clutched the phone tightly to my chest refusing to accept the news as my face turned colourless…. I don’t want to believe it… I refuse to believe it….

 How could he be gone? How could he leave me?

Today was the day he would return to me, the day I would be able to embrace him in my arms once again but now…now …all that’s left is a broken promise… all he left is a broken promise….

-------------- Flashback--------------

“ You’re leaving?” I asked grabbing onto his arms as if I was to let go then he would disappear right in front of me

“ Yes,” He replied while I wished my hearing faltered not wanting to hear that word

“ Why, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!” I shouted enraged that he didn’t tell me this earlier

“ I didn’t want you to be upset,” he explained as guilt and sadness covered his face

I sigh… I couldn’t get mad at him, “ When are you going?”

“ T-tomorrow…”

“ WHAT? TOMORROW?” I shouted again to confirm; not convinced that I heard it right

He only nodded….

I opened my mouth but no words came out, I didn’t know what to say. How am I supposed to react knowing the person I love is leaving the next day for 2 years? The pain in my heart hurts, not physically, not mentally but emotionally… I stood there still holding onto his arms tightly, eyes widen from the shock. Why didn’t he tell me this earlier, why didn’t he tell me he was leaving?

“ Why?” I asked emotionlessly

“W-what?” confusion was written all over his face

“ Why didn’t you tell me this before?!” I yelled. I hated that about myself, I hated the fact that I couldn’t understand him more, I hate that I'm not reliable enough for him to share his problems and his burdens with, but most of all I hate the time that divides us, the time that cause us to separate… the time I don’t have him by my side…

“ … I didn’t want the time I have left with you to be us worrying about what we knew is inevitable…”

I released the gripped on his arm feeling helplessly lost for words

Reaching up to my cheek he smiled lightly, eyes fixed on mine “ we knew this was going to happen sooner or later…”

I hugged him not wanting to let go, wishing that this moment would last

“ Don’t worry, it will be fine… look on the bright side you have 2 years off from my nagging,” he said trying to lightened the mood

“ I wouldn’t mind all the nagging in the world if I can stop you from leaving…” I replied, I know I was being mean but this is how much he means to me and I would go to any extent for him

“ It’s only 2 years, 2 years would go by in a blink of an eye…”

I only hugged him tighter

“ Kyu… you know I love you too and don’t want to leave you but this is not our choice to make…” he tries to reason “ we can only accept our responsibility by fulfilling our duties”

I remained silent

“ I know it wont be easy but bear in mind what I have always told you ‘when the skies are looking bad and your heart has lost all it’s hope, remember that after dawn there will be sunshine and all the dust will go…’” he smiled “ I wont be gone forever, like the sun I promise to come back to you…”

“ Promise?”

“ Promise…” he replied as we sealed it with a kiss…

-------------- End of Flashback--------------

That was the last time I heard his husky melodious voice, the last time I had him with me…. To be able to touch him, embrace him and kiss him…

-------------- Flashback--------------

2 years later from that day…

Hearing the phone ring I quickly picked it up hoping to hear the voice that can send butterflies to my stomach,

“Hello?” I answered anticipating a replied

“Hello, is this the residence of Mr Cho?” asked a voice I have never heard before 

“ Yes…and may I ask who you might be?” my heart came to a halt,

“ I am a Commanding Officer…”… “ It is regrettable to say---“ when the officer’s voice starts up again my heart felt heavy. Despite trying to prepare myself for what he was about to say I couldn’t help the fear that crept up

“Regrettable?” a voice echoed in my head

“ MIA……unfound……high chance…dead……sorry…” Everything else went silent and all I could hear was the static over the telephone

Those words that I heard became a blur as I gripped the phone tightly in one hand, balling my other hand into a fist holding it against my chest. The pain was so immense I couldn’t register where it came from as the shock travelled throughout my body… despite my nails being dug into my skin allowing the blood to flow freely I realised that the pain came from elsewhere, the pain came from my heart…it came from my broken heart… 

“ Hello? Hello?” the officer on the other line asked voiced full of concern

 “ Sorry…” I replied as my voice trembled

“ This is all the information we have so far, if we discover anything else we will contact you immediately…”

“Thank you…” I choked abandoning the phone as it continued to beeped lifelessly

-------------- End of Flashback--------------

I sat down trying to gather my thoughts slowly after hearing everything. Still in a complete state of shock I just sat there, staring at the illusion of what once was… what he was to me… eyes closed, breath forced down my throat to hold back the tears until I couldn’t breathe anymore.

I felt suffocated, I wanted to cry but no tears came out. There’s something in me refusing to submit because I believe that he is still out there, I believe he wouldn’t leave me that easily because I had faith in him….

Maybe this is just a test, a test to see our love for each other. This is just a trial because he wouldn’t disappear forever leaving me alone…. Instead, one day he will show up and return to my side… he wouldn’t leave me right?

Replaying the engraved thoughts of him I let my head rest on my knees as the tears slowly rolled down my face, was love always this painful? Maybe after crying I will be able to look up again, maybe after this I will be able to move on but for now, for now … I wan to cry my heart out…I want to relieve this pain, relieve the uncertainty….

-------------

‘Kyu… When the skies are looking bad and your heart has lost all it’s hope, remember that after dawn there will be sunshine and all the dust will go…’

Knowing he wouldn’t want to see me like this I wiped the fallen tears off my face while I looked up determined, there’s only one thing I can do for us…

I'll continue to move forward hoping, dreaming, wishing I’ll see that smile upon his face once again allowing the sparks to fly like they always did because I know that whatever may come or how ever long it takes my feelings for him will remain…

“Because loving you I can only love you…when reincarnation takes turn you are the only unforgettable memory. To have loved is the only way to have truly lived…”

“The promise that did not fade lasts longer than forever, I have been hurt, have cried, have hated but I’ve never considered giving up because love is everything to me… because you are everything to me... In this life or the next waiting for you is unchanging….”

No matter what I will be here, continue to wait for you because as long as our feelings remain, our love will never die…and never again will I let go of that hand... let go of you…

…. This will be my unbroken promise to you, my beloved Jongwoon….

A/N > so what do you think? Contains more angst than i normally write but yeah...

I wrote this chapter for gamecloudsomnia ♪ヽ( ⌒o⌒)人(⌒-⌒ )v ♪ hehehe

I don't know if this is what you wanted but hope you like it anyway *hide ｜_・;;）

p.s > sorry for any errors (シ_ _)シ