I stayed in the café for a few more minutes after Jongin left. Mostly because I couldn’t really move. It took me a couple of seconds before realizing that the waitress was actually talking to me. She asked if it’s her fault that my boyfriend got upset and walked out of the café. She was looking really worried which was completely opposite of her expression when she brought the ice cream. I thought she must be new. She asked if she brought the wrong ice cream. I told her it wasn’t her fault at all. After nervously babbling some more, she finally believed what I just said and then she left.

And I was there, sitting all by myself with nothing but the now melting ice cream and soft buzz of the café to keep me company. I kept staring at the ice cream while trying to process what just happened. We had arguments before but this one’s really different. I’ve never seen Jongin looking so upset and it’s all because of me. My brain threatened to go on a full on spin yet again. I rested my elbow on the table; I pressed my fingers on my temples and shut my eyes real tight.

Taking a shaky breath, I got up on my seat, slung my back pack over my shoulders.  I was greeted by the early evening’s cold breeze as I stepped out of the café. I pulled my sweater closer to my body. After a few minutes, I went to Spines to pick up Young Soo. The book shop was little crowded. I gave Ha Joon a pressed smile when he greeted me. I spotted Young Soo by the Kid’s Section, as usual. I waited for him near the door, carrying his backpack, while he went to use the bathroom for a moment.

While I was trying to dodge my thoughts about Jongin, a customer opened the book shop’s door causing the chilly breeze to swept inside so my hair went all over my face. My hand went over my head, I remember wearing a beanie today but I wasn’t wearing it anymore. I checked my backpack and my pockets but it wasn’t there. I groaned in frustration when I realized I must’ve forgotten it at the café. I decided to just go back tomorrow, it was one of my favorite beanies.

After a moment, Young Soo came back and we left the shop afterwards.

-----------

Jongin was ignoring me the next morning. Of course, he would. He was awfully upset with me. The night before, I spent staring at my cell phone before going to sleep. I wanted to call him but then I realized I don’t really know what I’m going to tell him so I just dropped it.

But I couldn’t stand it any longer.

At lunch, I tried catching his gaze but he’s deliberately avoiding mine. I began to have an internal debate if should finally tell him about my mom and explain to him why I don’t want him to meet her. Because obviously, he thinks it’s the other way around and I don’t want him to think that way because any girl would be proud to introduce him to their parents.

But what if Jongin won’t be able to understand? I asked myself while my teacher was busy writing something on the board. What if he changed his mind about me? What if…what if he changed his feelings towards me once I told him about mom?

These questions kept on bugging me all throughout my afternoon classes. I was making my way to my next class when I saw him standing by his locker, fumbling something inside. I pushed any more doubts in the back of my head and rushed towards him.

I swiftly reached and held his hand as he was about to close his locker. Surprised, Jongin glanced down at his hand that I was holding and then he looked up at me.

“I’m sorry.” I said earnestly as I peered into his eyes. “I’m so sorry about last night. Can we talk about it?”

Jongin stared at me and for one disheartening moment, I thought he’s going to walk away because I couldn’t read his expression. He took a breath and softly squeezed my hand. He opened his mouth to say something but then his voice got drowned by the ringing bell along the hallway, signaling for the start of the next class.

“Can we talk later? After school?” he asked me when the bell stopped.

I nodded my head, feeling just a bit lighter than earlier. Jongin, gave my hand another squeeze before turning on his heels and headed towards his next class.

After my last period, I made a quick trip to the bathroom. While I was washing my hands on the sink, I felt someone watching me from behind. I turned around and saw Eun Hee standing by one of the cubicles, her expression was rather unreadable as she was looking at me. I sighed and turned away from her. I’m so not in the mood in dealing with her.

“Hey, Hana. What’s up?” I heard Eun Hee saying after a moment.

After I turned off the faucet, I aimed for the door but she was already standing there, blocking my way with what seemed like a mocking smile. Sometimes, I feel like that’s how she always smiled to everyone. Then again, she also makes me feel that that certain smile is specially just for me. I looked at her for a moment, I haven’t seen her for quite a long time (not that I’m complaining). She’s still stunning and looking perfect. I just wish her inside was all the same.

“Nothing much.” I responded dully.

“How are you and Jongin?” she asked again.

I looked away from her. “Fine.” I said.

“I heard you guys are going strong—”

“What do you want, Eun Hee?” I cut her off testily, looking back at her. “I know you want something from me otherwise, you wouldn’t bother talking to me.”

Eun Hee stared at me for a moment and pursed her lips. “You know what I want, Hana.” she said. She flexed her arms across her chest and looked me with her ever deprecating stare. “And I know about your mom.”

Cold sensation enveloped my veins at once, running down to my thighs, making them numb. I stared back at Eun Hee with what I hope a straight face. “I suppose Daehyun told you.”

“You know, I cannot believe how selfish you are.” Eun Hee spat at me. She’s glaring at me and she gave me the impression that she’s been dying to tell me this. “You don’t care about Jongin’s ambition—”

“Whoa, stop right there!” I snapped at her. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I have no idea?” Eun Hee echoed and then she scoffed. She stepped a little more closer to me and hissed. “You know Jongin wants to be a performer and that entails people noticing him and his talent. Do you have the slightest idea how people would react if they found out that he’s involved with some—” she ran her eyes from my head to toe with a disgusted expression as though I’m some horrible specimen or something, “—girl with a more than broken family and not only that, with a severely depressed mother who loves walking around the city at night, drunk and partying all night. In case you haven’t noticed, that’s utterly embarrassing.”

I wanted to yell at her that I’ve been telling that to