#1 – I’m not the first person you look for when you walk into a room.

Do you know what the hardest thing in the world is?

We all have different opinions on that subject, I guess. For some, it's letting go of friends and walking away from everything they've ever known. For others, it's just getting through the day without touching even a drop of liquor.

For me, it's finding love.

Not any kind of love, but the kind that just… floors you. The kind that makes you want to be a better person, if only for a moment.

I always knew when I was genuinely in love. I knew when all I wanted was to be next to her and talk to her about nothing at all, just for the sake of listening to her voice. When everything that had always seemed important suddenly faded in comparison to the way her hair fell across her face and how beautiful she looked when she slept.

And the strange thing about all of this?

I only felt like that one time. Only with one girl. A long, long time ago.

Then again, I suppose it's not strange at all. It takes such an incredible amount of courage, you know? To love, I mean. Nothing else makes you feel happy and scared at the same time, and most people don't know how to handle that feeling. Including myself.

Only with one girl.

It was what tore me apart in the end. What ruined and built so many things in my life that meant so much to me at the time. What still means a lot to me.

Let me tell you the story about us. A time in my life that I remember more clearly than anything else although so much has faded away. A time full of heartfelt laughter and angry tears that have never completely been wiped away.

When I get to the end of my story, you might shed a few tears for us. But who knows, maybe you'll do the complete opposite and smile.

For what happened was truly for the best. No matter how much pain it caused me, I don't regret a single touch or glance we shared during our time together. No angel could ever have made me as happy as she did.

***~***~***~***~***~***

She was the quietest girl I'd ever known. Not shy or self-conscious, just… quiet. She could blend into a crowd so easily and let someone else take the spotlight, simply because she had no wish to be seen.

However when we were alone, no one was more alive or positive than she was. Strange how we can change so drastically around the right people, don't you think? She was my beam of sunshine on a rainy day.

Nothing ever changed that.

On this particular day where my story starts, we were sprawled out on the bed of another five-star hotel, watching television in peace and quiet. The soft sound of raindrops tapping on the window had almost begun to sound like a sweet lullaby trying to rock us both to sleep with its steady rhythm.

I turned my head sideways and looked at her, smiling softly at the sight. Her eyelids had almost drooped completely, hiding her electric brown eyes, and her auburn hair fell around her face, her bangs carelessly pushed out of her eyes. Colours from the television screen danced across her features every once in a while, enhancing the creamy colour of her skin.

She was more beautiful at that moment than ever before.

I slowly reached over and placed a light kiss on her temple, needing to be close to her at that moment. Her eyelids flickered open and she looked at me drowsily, a soft smile playing on her lips.

"Hey, handsome," she whispered, her fingers softly caressing my cheek.

"Hey," I whispered back, smiling warmly. "You want me to turn the TV off so you can sleep?"

"No, that's okay," she shook her head and stretched as far she could, a loud yawn following. "I have to get going anyway."

"Oh?" I asked quietly, doing my best to hide my disappointment. "Where are you going?"

"I'm having dinner with the girls." She stood up and walked over to the door, grabbing her coat off the hanger. "Probably going on bit of sightseeing afterwards," she said, giving me small smile.

I nodded silently, not really knowing what to say. "You still have my key if you want to drop by later, right?"

“Yeah, I do,” she nodded, walking over to me and sitting down next to me on the bed. "I don't know how long we'll be out though, so I might just spend the night at my room tonight. We have quite a long day coming up tomorrow. I don’t want to wake you.”

"You can wake me anytime, baby," I smiled, giving her a soft peck on the lips. "Have fun."

"Thanks," she grinned, before leaning over for another kiss, our lips lingering a little longer this time. "You better get a decent sleep tonight, Kim Jongin. I'm going to wear you out tomorrow."

I grinned mischievously. “And I'm going to hold you to that promise.”

"You damn well better," she smirked, her eyes sparkling like emeralds. Her smile then faded a bit as she sat in silence for a moment, looking intently at me while my thumb the back of her hand. It was pretty clear to me that she was trying to work up the nerve to tell me something.

I had time, though. It wasn't like I minded looking at her anyway.

"Bye, Jongin," she then whispered, offering me a faint smile. "Don't wait up for me, okay?"

"Okay," I nodded, feeling her hand slip out of mine as she stood up. "Bye, Soojung."

She smiled again and shook her head lightly. She traced her hand down my cheek, leaning down to brush her lips against mine once again, slowly and tentatively, as if she was trying to taste me for the first time.

softly into , I placed my hand on the back of her neck and pulled her closer. My heart was already racing quicker than what was good for me, but I didn't care. Right then I just had to make her stay with me.

"Okay, I'm really going this time," she mumbled into my mouth, letting out a light chuckle, before pulling away, her lips slightly swollen. "See you soon, sweetheart," she smiled and turned around, walking out the door for good this time.

I sighed deeply and fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the world. I could still taste the faint essence of strawberries from her lipgloss on my lips.

Someone else was going to taste that now.

Closing my eyes, I couldn't help but wish that I'd done more to make her stay. Maybe then she wouldn't be sneaking into the room a couple of doors down the hall.

Sneaking into Taemin's room. To kiss him like she'd kissed me.

A/N: Thank you for reading and subscribing! <3