Am I… dead?                                                                                      

Slowly opening her eyes, she was greeted by a bright light, causing her to blink a couple of times to get them adjusted before looking to her right.

She saw a vase full of her favourite flowers on the drawer and smiled softly before something grabbed her attention.

There, sitting on the metal chair, was someone she didn’t expect to see.

She was just laying there, admiring her boyfriend’s side profile.

He had his eyes closed tightly; she noticed that he was crying, but he didn’t make a sound.

His elbows were propped up on his knees, as he was leaning forward, while his chin was resting on his hands; it was like he was thinking really deeply.

She saw his hand clutching a piece of paper.

Could it be…?

She muttered his name; she wanted to see his face again after so long.

His body went rigid, but he didn’t open his eyes. She heard him muttering something like, “… hearing voices… going crazy…” so she called out for him again, louder this time, causing her voice to crack.

He opened his eyes and turned to her, causing her heart to break into a million pieces.

He looked awful; his hair was dishevelled, his eyes were red and puffy from crying, his dark circles were clearly visible, his face taut than ever, and a sad frown set on his mouth.

This is because of her. This is her fault.  

He scooted his chair so that he could face her, placed his hands on both side of her face and kissed her forehead lightly.

“Are you thirsty?” he asked, but not waiting for an answer. Instead, he grabbed the pitcher by the drawer to his right and poured water on a glass, before handing it to her.

After taking a few sips, she tried to put it back on the drawer, but yelped from the pain; she stretched her scarred left arm, and the wounds were still fresh.

He took the glass away, and placed it back on the drawer before holding her right hand, and whispered, “How are you feeling?”

She stared at him and shrugged, “I’ve been better… You?”

He gave a small smile before the frown reappeared on his face, “I’m okay, now that you’re awake.”

She nodded and tried to sit up; he jumped from his chair and helped her, making sure she wouldn’t be using her bad arm.

She then looked down at her lap and asked, “How long… How long have I…?”

“Two days. Your body couldn’t handle itself anymore, so it crashed; they had to put in vitamins and other medicines to help your body go back to normal.”

She mouthed an ‘Ah’ and started fidgeting with her fingers; she was scared to look up at him.

He sighed deeply and scooted closer to her.

“Do you remember why you’re here?”

She nodded.

Was he angry? Sad? Hurt? Disappointed?

He wrapped an arm around her waist and tilted her chin up, looking at her in the eyes, showing her the paper, “Do you know what this is?”

She nodded again; his free hand caressing her cheeks when he said, “Why? Tell me, sweetie. I want to understand… Ineed to understand.”

She stayed silent but shook her head and looked away, as tears were threatening to fall from her eyes.

“Please. I… I thought I lost you. Do you know how I felt when I saw you by the bed, unconscious and bleeding out? Do you know how horrible I felt when I realized that I might have been too late?

I guess I should have known… I mean, what kind of a boyfriend am I? You’re always there for me, but I’m never there when you need me – ”

She sobbed and shook her head, “It’s not your fault! It’s me… I’m just worthless. And pathetic. And a burden to you. I – I had to do something. I didn’t want to drag you down – ”

He shook her lightly, “Don’t say that! Don’t you ever say that – ”

“But it’s true! I just… I couldn’t take it anymore.

I mean, you’re busy with work, and everything’s exciting, and new, and you have something to look forward to after going through all those stuff, while all I do is work, go home, work, go home, doing the same old stuff…

I felt so boring, and so dull, and so ugly compared to all the other girls; especially those you work with, that I thought – I was thinking that you didn’t love me anymore… I thought we were over – ”

He pulled back and looked at her, “You don’t think I feel the same way? You don’t think I wonder if all I’m doing is worth it? If all these practicing, staying up late, and occasionally skipping meals will all be something I’ll look back at and laugh at?

Also, I only love you! I always have, and you know that… I chose you because you’re different from them; you’ve been with me before all of these, and I hope that you’ll be with me even after everything that’ll happen…

I need my silly cheerful girlfriend back. I need you to be strong again… And please, take care of yourself. You’ve lost so much weight…”

“I couldn’t eat. I always lost my appetite, but I didn’t want you to worry…”

“What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I don’t worry about you? You’re important to me. Work can always wait. You didn’t have to lie to me…”

She crashed her head into his chest, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry… I thought I was doing the right thing…”

He hugged her tightly, careful not to hurt her arm, and rocked side to side, as her body was shaking from her sobs.

Rubbing her back, he placed his lips on the top of her head until he felt her calm down.

“One of my friends knows this psychologist. She’s awesome, and she’ll help you get through this. I saved her number on your phone; call her after you get discharged and schedule an appointment, okay? If you’re not comfortable going alone, I’ll go with you…”

She sniffed and looked up at him, reaching up to touch his face with her good hand, “Thank you. I’m sorry I had to put you through this…”

He smiled and kissed her fingertips lightly, “Anything for you. I’m sorry that I haven’t been the best boyfriend, but I’ll make it up to you… I will help your wounds to heal, and in making your scars disappear. You’ll get better, sweetie. Just live.”

Hello!

This is the last part.

I hope that the ending was okay; that it kinda tied up everything somehow… It kinda felt rushed to me, so I don’t know.

Anyways, I wanna say thank you to everyone that read all the parts and liked it!

I’ll try to make better scenarios/fanfics/oneshots next time.

I love you all! Mwah~

Have a great Sunday everybody! :)