Confessions of a Friend
Confessions of a Friendxuanmiin: Purely from Jokwon's point of view, and first person at that. A mixture of feelings, and what happens around him. What happens only comes into play in like the chorus at the end. Hopefully you'll like it?
-
It’s been a while
Since my heart started changing
Since I’ve been suffering alone
Before, I said that rather than loving you, the feeling of liking you was stronger. I thought the feelings were fleeting, and merely a construct of the show. Reality finally hit me when I couldn’t smile because it felt so wrong acting as your twin. Not being able to see you subsequently was even worse.
From some time ago
Each time I see you cry
I began to hate the boy who made you cry
Never mind that it wasn’t a good experience, never mind that he broke your heart once. He came crawling back, asking for forgiveness, and you happily returned to his side. A leopard never changes its spots, he still can’t control his straying eyes, and he left you with heartbreak again. You’d always call, in the middle of the night, drunk. Your eyes were always red, voice, always quivering, stance, always vulnerable. Good-for-nothing scum like him is not worth your tears.
I began to think
It might be better for me
To be here for you
When sober, you refused to talk about it, refused to cry, refused to look affected. You insisted that everything was alright and there was no cause for concern. There even was an album. Understandably, few supported you and him. You deserve so much better. But you wanted him, and there was nothing I could do about that, so I chose to stand by you.
I began to think that now
I want to be the one
To hold and love you
You gave him many chances, too many chances. He always promised that he would change. But he was back at it before the day was up. You would smile, but your eyes were filled with sorrow. You would laugh, but only because the situation required it. I promised to be behind you, always. If he made you happy, I had every intention of making good of my word. But he didn’t.
Baby, come to me now
And by my lady
I’ve been watching you for too long
Standing there, without saying a word
Hiding my suffering heart
No longer could I look on and let him hurt you over and over again. Before, I should have been brave and fought for your heart. Before you grew accustomed to the cycle of him cheating and you forgiving him again. If given the chance, I would treasure you and treat you right. Like how you deserved to be loved, better than he’s ever done.
Friends, to stay as friends
I had to bottle up my feelings
And push the confessions down my throat
But now, I’ll confess to you
I love you
Even if he couldn’t love you, I could. But you didn’t look at me that way. I was your affectionate, ditzy younger brother you’ve always wanted. You would dismiss it as a joke to make you feel better. You liked them assert
Comments