It turned out that you missed their dance practice that night anyway. For whatever reason, the guys on the fall football team were more stupid than the ones who you played with during the spring. It was frustrating for you, and you were seriously considering just quitting the team and joining up in spring like usual. You’d still have martial arts to keep you busy. Plus it’d free you up for a part-time job.

You’re a genius, you realized as you stepped out of the locker room after practice. You made sure to be the last one out of the showers.

It didn’t take long to talk to the couch. He wasn’t happy about you quitting, but he couldn’t blame you. A lot of the players on the fall team were just starting, or freshmen. They didn’t have the kind of drive and passion that the guys in spring did, nor the experience. He waved you off lazily and told you that he’d better see you come next season.

You’d agreed, and wandered out of the school towards where you locked your bike. It was the solitary figure in the bike area. You weren’t really afraid of getting mugged; the years of taekwondo had you pretty much made as your own weapon.

Just as you were putting a leg over the bike, a car honked from the parking lot. You hadn’t even noticed one sitting there in the dark.

Instead of dismounting, you pedaled twice to cruise the bike over, and relaxed when you recognized Sunggyu’s car.

“Annyeong,” you said with a little wave and a tired grin.

He mirrored your exhausted grin. “You’re here late, Shikkie.”

“Yeah, apparently good players don’t join up until spring,” you muttered grumpily. “You guys practice this long?”

Sunggyu shook his head. “Ani. I’ve been waiting for you to get out.”

That was confusing. Not that you and Sunggyu weren’t close, but generally he was busy with whatever he did now that he was no longer required to attend high school. You were pretty sure that he was going to college at least part-time, but hadn’t asked.

“Wae?” you wondered, tilting your head.

Sunggyu hid it well, but the sudden hint of aegyo you were unintentionally giving him had the same effect as if you were blasting it at him. If he hadn’t patched up your back that one night, and seen you pretty much a handful of other times, he’d almost wonder if you were a girl. But that wasn’t possible.

Pushing that away, he cleared his throat. “A little birdy told me that you might want to escape from your house for a night or so. You interested?”

“Myungsoo has a big mouth,” you muttered. But to be honest, you were a little flattered.

“Was he wrong?” Sunggyu questioned, arching a brow at you.

The both of you knew the answer without you even having to say anything. You just grimaced a little.

“Ani, he wasn’t.” You glanced down at your bike, and up at Sunggyu’s car with a little frown. He drove one of those nice hybrids that didn’t need a ton of fuel. But that meant it was smaller and there was no place for your bike.

Sunggyu seemed to notice the dilemma as well. “Want to just ride over to my place? It’s the same place.”

“Arasso,” you said.

You didn’t wait for him to drive away, since you knew that he’d get home before you regardless of any head-start you had. Honestly though, you were glad for the chance to ride on your bike. The night air in your face was almost cathartic, and since you knew you weren’t going home, you didn’t have the usual sense of dread in the pit of your stomach.

You felt bad that Bongcha was going to have to go a night without you, but she was used to it, right? If you weren’t getting home after her bedtime because of practice, then you didn’t come home at all. You could always go over super early to shower and change and take her to school. It isn’t like your parents would care.

At a red light, you pulled out your phone to send a message to Bongcha’s mother that you were going over to your hyung’s place for the night. There wasn’t any response, but you didn’t really expect one. She was probably just grateful she didn’t have to deal with you for a night.

When you finally arrived at Sunggyu’s apartment complex, you were grateful that you hadn’t changed into your uniform again after practice. You weren’t in the mood to have to wash it from the sweat you knew you would’ve coated it in on the ride. At least the t-shirt and athletic shorts you were wearing now were cool enough to keep you from getting too sweaty.

The fact Sunggyu could afford a place that had an elevator was impressive, but also useful for now. You could just ride the elevator up with your bike, and then lock it against the railing outside his door. Once that was done, you knocked.

Sunggyu opened the door almost immediately, and turned to move out of the way. You slipped in and shut the door behind you, before kicking off your shoes next to his.

“Gomawo,” you said quietly.

Both of you knew without you elaborating just what you were thanking him for. Truth be told, you would have rather gone to crash at Woohyun’s place. But he was oblivious to your home issues, to you at all really, now that Haeun was in the picture. It left a bitter taste in your mouth.

“It’s no problem,” Sunggyu said easily. “I’m just surprised you hadn’t escaped to Woohyun’s place.”

You didn’t say anything, head tilted down so your hair was covering your face. While Sunggyu disappeared into the kitchen, you took a seat on the couch, slumping down and spreading your legs wide the way you saw guys do. It wasn’t that uncomfortable, but you would’ve rather kept your legs together. Boys don’t sit lady-like.

It was amusing that Sunggyu came back with a familiar looking bottle, and you couldn’t help the childish delight that took over your face. You sat up to reach for it eagerly.

“Ramune?” you questioned.

He just shrugged. “I figured you’d like it the next time you came over.”

A chuckle escaped you as you tore the wrapper off the top and used the little plastic piece to punch the carbonation ball into the liquid to make it bubbly. “Gomawo, oppa,” you teased.

You laughed even harder at the red that appeared to take over the older guy’s face as he avoided looking at you. Sunggyu sat down in a chair near the couch and sipped at his own drink, just a glass of water.

“You shouldn’t call me that,” he muttered, grumpy.

You shrugged. “No, but your reaction makes it worth it.”

He could only sigh, because he was sure any reaction that your friends had to you suddenly calling them that would be worth it.

The two of you sat in relative silence for a while, just enjoying the company and lack of outside stimuli. You were grateful Sunggyu didn’t press you to talk. He never did.

“Woohyun doesn’t even know anything’s wrong,” you finally said, your focus on the marble at the top of the ramune bottle as you rolled it back and forth.

That made Sunggyu frown, and he turned to look at you. “Bwo? How does he not know something’s going on?”

“His entire focus is on Haeun now.” Your shrug felt flippant to you, and you knew Sunggyu would see through it. “I haven’t actually gotten to just hang out with him alone since he asked her out. They’re attached at the hip.”

You were struggling not to come across as whiny and jealous, even if that’s all you wanted to allow yourself to be. But that wouldn’t be appropriate. You were graduating high school; you should be past the stage where you got jealous over your best friend spending time with his girlfriend.

Sunggyu sighed heavily and nodded. “I’ve heard the same thing from the others, really, especially Sungyeol and Hoya. Myungsoo even said you’ve started not eating with them at lunch to avoid Haeun. Do you dislike her that much?”

“She’s just annoying, hyung,” you complained, wrinkling your nose. “She’s so happy, and nice, all the time. I’m pretty sure if she compliments Namu one more time I’m going to throw up, and I’d aim it at her. Maybe she’d stop being so perfect if she was covered in lunch.”

Sunggyu didn’t even bother to hide his surprise. This was the first time he’d ever heard you talk about being cruel to someone on purpose. Even when you turned down the confessions, your cruelty was mostly intended to dissuade lingering feelings. But right now, you sounded like you legitimately just hated Haeun and wanted to be mean to her.

“Why do you hate her so much?” he wondered.

Because she gets to be everything I’m not. “I don’t hate her, I just…” You tried to think up an excuse for your violent feelings towards her, but couldn’t. “I don’t know.”

The older of the two of you was silent in thought as he focused his gaze on the cushion next to you. After a couple of minutes, he shrugged.

“Maybe it’s a good thing that the two of you do your own things for a while?” he suggested carefully. “After all, you guys have been nearly inseparable since elementary school. While he focuses on Haeun, you can focus on whatever you need to.”

You had to grudgingly agree. You needed to stop caring about what Woohyun was doing and focus on how you were going to get away from your parents. The first step was definitely to find a job.

“I need a job, hyung,” you said, glancing up at him. “Any suggestions on where I should start looking?”

Sunggyu looked you over carefully. As you lounged on his couch, he had to take in the fact that your body was about as androgynous as possible. You didn’t have the broad shoulders to be obviously male, but you also didn’t really have the curves to be a girl. He briefly wondered if you were ever self-conscious about how you didn’t seem to belong to either gender.

Remembering how you’d looked with your longer hair, he had to admit that you’d make a very pretty girl. That was such an awkward realization though that he shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat.

“You could apply at a café that’s not far from school or your house,” he suggested.

You shook your head. “The smell of coffee makes me nauseous. I can’t even go in that aisle at the store.”

Sunggyu smirked a little. “Aigoo, I forgot about Shikkie’s sensitive nose.”

You pouted. “Hyung, it’s not my fault. Besides, you’re supposed to be helping me figure out a place to work, not making fun of my sense of smell.”

“Arasso, arasso, mianhe,” he said, still grinning. “Well, you could just wander around and walk into shops to apply?”

That wasn’t too bad an idea. Now you would definitely have the time to do so, too, without arousing too much suspicion from your parents. You didn’t have to tell them you were quitting the fall football team. They never came to your games anyway, and Bongcha wasn’t going to want to come until spring when it would be warmer.

“That’s a good idea, hyung,” you said with a little nod. “I’ll do that.”

Sunggyu nodded, sliding up to his feet to get off the chair. “Sounds good. I need to go do homework, and I’m sure you have some of your own.”

You huffed, but nodded. “Ne. I’m taking art this semester, too, and I have to figure out something to sketch for a free-hand assignment. She implied that we might be doing something with it in the future, too.”

Sunggyu groaned. “I hate when teachers say that.”

You could only nod in agreement. Sliding off the couch, you tugged your bag over so you could dig out the sketchbook and a pencil. Although you liked doodling for fun, you never really thought your art was any good until Taecyeon had made you email him a couple scans of some of your better ones.

Realizing your phone was still on silent from school, you pulled it out of your pocket. You barely resisted the urge to slap a palm to your forehead when you saw how many texts you had from not just Taecyeon. Why hadn’t you noticed when you sent that one to your mother? Strange.

                Taecyeon: Annyeong~
                Taecyeon: … yah, answer me!
                Taecyeon: Babo, what are you doing not answering your oppa? Aish!
                Taecyeon: Yah! Seriously answer so I know you aren’t dead somewhere
                Taecyeon: Kim. Hyun. Ok. This is not funny!

Guilt flooded you. You were just so used to everyone assuming that, as a guy, you were fine on your own. Plus, it wasn’t like your parents ever worried. The only one who would was Bongcha, but she didn’t have a phone to repeatedly text you with.

Getting to your feet, you peeked down the hall to see that Sunggyu had closed the door. He probably was just trying to block any outside noise out; both of you knew how loud you got when frustrated. Amused, you wandered over to the sliding doors that opened onto the tiny patio balcony. You weren’t surprised to see there were only a handful of plants, the same ones you had brought just to make it look like someone lived there.

At least it appeared that Sunggyu was watering them regularly because nothing was dead.

Making sure the sliding door was shut, you then tapped a finger on Taecyeon’s number and lifted the phone to your ear.

He answered almost immediately.

“Yah! Do you know how worried I’ve been?!”

You smiled, just glad to hear his voice. Taecyeon was really the only person who kept you entirely sane. You wanted nothing more than to be free to be the Hyunok he cared about so much.

“…Hyunok? You there?”

Coughing a little, you nodded dumbly even though he couldn’t see. “Ne, mianhe. And mianhe for not answering your texts. I was really busy after school and forgot to check my phone. It’s been on silent this whole time.”

There was a blustery sigh from his end. “Arasso. I was just worried.”

“Aigoo, Oppa, you’re so sweet on me,” you teased with a little bit of a giggle. It was such a weird feeling, this strange weightlessness you felt when talking to Taecyeon. If you didn’t glance down, you would’ve been convinced your feet were no longer touching the ground. “Gwenchana, really. Besides, I can handle myself!”

You could hear him clear his throat. “What makes you think you can do that? You’re a girl and you shouldn’t be out late on your own.”

You couldn’t help yourself and rolled your eyes. “Did you forget I’ve been practicing taekwondo for a really long time, Oppa? Besides… who said I’m out on my own?”

You really couldn’t resist the urge to . You wondered how much he would freak out if he knew you were staying over at Sunggyu’s apartment. Well, he’d freak out a lot, and threaten to appear there and get you out of the place, even though Taecyeon has no idea who Sunggyu is.

There was a long silent pause. “It’s dangerous for even a couple of girls to be out alone at night, Hyunnie.”

“But, Oppa…” You smirked. “Who said I was out with a girl?”

“Bwo?!”

You burst into giggles, putting a hand over your mouth even as you leaned against the railing for support. The indignant shock in his voice was way too much.

“Y-Yah, Hyunnie! That’s not funny. You said you couldn’t even hang out with guys your age!”

“But he’s not my age, Oppa. He’s older than me.” You scrunched up your face in thought and tapped your chin. “I think he’s twenty.”

“Kim Hyunok!” Taecyeon sounded outraged and upset. “Wh-what are you doing out with such an older guy? Alone? Do your parents know where you are?”

“Ne~” you sang. “They’re actually glad I’m with him. They like him, Oppa.”

It was true. They thought Sunggyu was a perfect rolemodel for how you should act as a young adult man. But Taecyeon didn’t know that.

He was suddenly so silent that you wondered if you’d missed the click of him hanging up. You waited a minute or so, before frowning.

“Oppa?” you tried, pouting a little. “Did you hang up on me?”

“Ani.” His voice was quiet, low. You almost thought he sounded sad.

“Gwenchana?” You hadn’t meant for him to get upset, but you couldn’t think of why he would be. Jealous, maybe, because you’d avoided hanging out with him and were now hanging out with a supposed older guy.

“Gwenchana.” He sighed again, and you could hear the phone rustling against something. “Hyunnie, do… you like him?”

“Who?”

“The guy your parents approve of for you.”

Wait, what?! You just gaped for a moment at the thought of the scenario Taecyeon was painting. You tried to imagine being some girly girl who was in love with Sunggyu, and your parents approved.

“Y-Yah, what kind of girl do you think I am?” you demanded. “Even if I liked him that way, it wouldn’t be appropriate to be alone with him! Babo! Aish.”

“W-wait, what? You’re alone with him?!”

“He’s like an older brother, Oppa, that’s all.” You rolled your eyes. “I don’t like any of the boys that go to my school.”

You are such a liar, whispered a nasty voice as you immediately conjured up an image of Woohyun smiling at you. You squashed it down and mentally stomped on it. Woohyun didn’t count; he was off-limits. Not only did he have a girlfriend, but he thought of you as a boy.

Taecyeon was silent on his side, but this time you didn’t try to get him to talk. You were still irritated he thought you were some easy girl that slept with random boys.

“Mianhaeyo, Hyunok,” he finally said. “I thought that… nevermind. I guess I just got jealous. Forgive me?”

Something in your stomach fluttered like a bunch of butterflies. You put a hand on it and took a deep breath. Why would Taecyeon be jealous?

“Jealous? Oppa, what have you got to be jealous of?”

“He gets to see you, Hyunnie. When you smile at him, he gets to see it. He can brush your hair out of your face. He can hold you if you’re upset. You don’t refuse to see him…” He sounded defeated, voice soft and quiet. “I have plenty of things to be jealous of. He gets to do all the things I want to.”

Even though the thought of Sunggyu enjoying the things Taecyeon had mentioned was rather ludicrous, that fluttering in your belly intensified. It felt like it grew, too, so that there was fluttering of butterfly wings in your chest, too.

“You really want to see me that bad, Oppa?” you asked, voice soft.

You know he did. Hell, you knew that Taecyeon would be anywhere you were in heartbeat if you said the two of you could hang out. It was just that you were certain that Taecyeon still imagined the cute little girl that you were in the few pictures that had been taken when you were at the orphanage. He probably expected some S-line beauty.

He probably expects me to be just like Haeun, you thought with a bitter smile. How ironic. Haeun is the ideal girl for both Woohyun and Taecyeon.

Wait.

Did you really just think that? Did it really matter if you weren’t Taecyeon’s ideal girl? You didn’t have those kind of feelings for him, did you? No. He was just another “hyung” that you were allowed to call “oppa”. Right?

“Ne, Hyunnie,” he answered with a heavy sigh, but there was hopefulness now. “Neomu, neomu, neomu want to see you.”

You chewed on your lip and lifted a hand to your hair. It was longer than it was when you started school, but still too short to really be styled in a more girly way. You didn’t even have feminine clothes to wear.

Looking around like the dark skyline would hold the solution to your problem, you let out a weary sigh.

“Christmas, arasso?” you stated firmly with a little nod. “I’ll spend all of Christmas Day with you.”

That gave you time for your hair to grow out. Even if you had to keep it cut like a guy’s, you could style it somehow. Also, if you got a job soon, you could save up and just spend some of the money on girl clothes. That way you could look like Hyunok when you saw him.

“Jinjja?” The excitement and smile in his voice was obvious. “That’s so far away though! It’s not even mid-October yet!”

“Aigoo, you’ve waited this long, Oppa. You can wait a couple more months,” you teased.

He made a whiny noise through the phone, before huffing in annoyance. “Arasso. But you better remember you said the whole day, alright? No leaving early or, or… aish, I get you the whole day!”

You couldn’t help the giggles that escaped you as you nodded. “Arasso, Oppa, I meant it. The whole day. But I need to go, I have homework to do…”

“Omo, I better let you go then. You better keep your grades up, Hyunnie! Hwaiting!”

That same girly giggle escaped you again. “Arasso. Jal ja, Oppa.”

“Sweet dreams, Hyunnie.”

From just inside, Sunggyu frowned in confusion at your back. When he’d seen you standing outside, he’d started to open the door a little, but froze when he realized you were on the phone. Who were you talking to? And why were you calling them “oppa” like that? You even sounded different.

His eyes widened a little as he remembered your vehement dislike of Haeun from earlier.

Were you gay?

He quickly slid the door shut as he saw you slip your phone into your pocket, and hurriedly snuck down the hall. He made it into his room just as he heard the door open again.

If you were gay, that would explain an awful lot about how much you disliked Haeun. Sunggyu wondered if there was even anything going on at home at all right now, or if you’d just used that as an excuse to cover up liking Woohyun.

“Aish,” he complained, roughly rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair. This was stupid. There was no way you could be gay, right? He’d have seen signs of it before now.

Hitting himself lightly on the forehead, he just moved back to his desk. “Babo, Hyunshik is definitely not gay.”

It just wasn’t possible. There had to be some logical explanation for your phone conversation. He was just too tired to come up with it. Yeah, that was it.

Meanwhile, you had wandered back to the couch and pulled the sketchbook into your lap to start doodling out the artwork assignment. You couldn’t think of anything but the phone conversation, though.

“Aish!” You unknowingly mimicked Sunggyu, roughly running your fingers through your hair and messing it up.

Why did your life have to be so complicated?

Hello!

Here's a long-awaited update. Taecyeon is kind of in this one. At least his voice is? And there's some Sunggyu~

Sorry for the lack of Woohyun. He will be back soon I promise!

Until next time~