A few days later I was rudely awakened by the sound of banging on my door. Now that Sunhwa moved out of our dorm, our room was mine alone.  I felt a bit spoiled with all the space that I didn’t have to share with anyone but at the same time it felt good as well. This was the place where I escaped back to whenever I needed some rest and to be on my own.

Still half asleep I shuffled from my bed to my door and opened it, greeting the bewildered face of our rapper Minah, whose curly, messy hair looked like a tornado had flown through it. Before I could even properly finish my yawn she grabbed my arm and dragged me out of my room and into the livingroom where the other girls were already crowding around the laptop on the table, their hairs looking like equal messes as Minah’s, except for Yurah who had her hair neatly braided back.

“Look! Look! Look what the site says!” she tugged my arm and pointed at the screen.

I frowned and leaned a bit closer, staring at the allkpop page the girls were staring at before I came in. Apparently they wrote another  article about us, usually I was pretty skeptical with anything these kind of websites wrote because they didn’t always have the right sources, but the title of this article sparked my interest.

Rookie group Topaz’ new leader revealed!!

“Bwoh? New leader?” I read out loud in surprise. How come they knew this before the actual group did? Or was this just another rumor that they posted up?

“Oh, that’s not even the strangest part,” Sooyeon frowned and scrolled the page down a bit, “Just keep reading…”

I looked at her for a moment before I drew my eyes back to our debut picture at the top of the article before it scrolled down to the actual article itself.

~*~

After the sudden withdrawal of member and leader Sunhwa from the recently debuted Topaz, netizens have been wondering what would happen to the group as no further details had been announced.

This morning SM Entertainment released a statement that cleared all disbandment rumors, announcing that Topaz would continue as a five member group and a new leader had been chosen. The new leader of Topaz is none other than their lead vocalist Park Julia who is better known under her stage name Jewel.

Jewel was second eldest in the group with Sunhwa being the oldest and also the only European member of the group, who has been a trainee for over three years and was the only trainee to come out of the overseas auditions held last summer.  SM Entertainment also announced that the official fanclub color was going to be pastel yellow but their fanclub name has yet to be announced.

SM Entertainment also stated that Topaz was going to be making their comeback with a new song and an improved image that the fans would enjoy and that they were going to make their first concert debut during the Seoul SM Town concert next month.

What do you think about the new and improved Topaz? Are you excited for their comeback?

~*~

 
I read the article a couple of times, making sure I didn’t just imagine things before looking up at the girls who were staring at me with blank looks.

“Well… This might just be a rumor right?” I started hesitantly. “I-I mean… No one even told me anything about becoming the leader… So how come they’d release a statement without informing us first?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time a label did that though…” Jiah crossed her arms thoughtfully.

“But… Why me?” I whine slightly as I sit down. “And why didn’t they tell at least me before announcing it!”

Minah scratched her head, “Maybe you should call manager-nim?”

“Ne, good idea! Maybe he knew about it and forgot to tell us?” Jiah nodded along.

I sighed and nodded slowly before getting up again and shuffling back to my room to get my phone and call our manager. Slowly I sit down on my bed and dial the number, waiting for the dial back music to come on and tap my feet to the beat.

“Hello?” his slightly hoarse and low voice rang through my ear.

“Ah, oppa!” I say with a slightly lifted tone of voice. “Did you read the article on allkpop?”

“The article? Ne, I just read it, waeyo?”

I frowned slightly, “Did you know about this announcement? Because we didn’t!”

“Ah, it must have slipped my mind, I was supposed to tell you yesterday… Yes, I was about to pick you up since the CEO wants to talk to you about that matter…”

Pressing down on the bridge of my nose, I let out a sigh, “Ah, he does? Should I just pretend I knew about it then when he asks me?”

A soft chuckle came from the other side, “If you would do that for me, thank you Jewel-sshi!”

“No problem, what are leaders for right?” I sighed softly again. “Alright, I’ll get ready then. See you in a bit, oppa…”

Without waiting for his response I ended the call and stared at the wall opposite of me for a moment. So was this what Taemin meant back then at the party? About Sunhwa passing on her leader secrets to me? Did she know before? Or was she the one who suggested me as the next leader. Either way, this was already a lot of stress so early in the morning and I decided to grab something to eat first before getting dressed.

As I walked back into the hallway, I stopped for a second as I heard the other girls discussing in slightly hushed voices.

“There must have been a misunderstanding…” Yurah spoke up. “There is no way she can be our leader!”

“She barely knows the language, how can she be a spokesperson for an entire group?” Minah agreed on that.

“Just because she’s the oldest of us now doesn’t mean she can be a leader… She lacks too much, this must be a joke…” Sooyeon huffed.

I bit my lip as I heard them talking about it, protesting against it. My own members had their doubts and objections to this change in the group, the people whose support I needed the most.  But they had a point. As far as my Korean skills were concerned, I had a lot to learn and often, especially when nervous, I would stumble over them or forget about them. But if the members didn’t even feel confident in this, what would the fans be thinking? Sunhwa was really popular among our fans as well…

Closing my eyes for a moment I take a deep breath before closing my door behind me loud enough for the girls to hear and stop their discussion, avoiding awkward situations even though I wasn’t exactly feeling comfortable anymore after hearing it.

“Ah! Unnie, what did manager-oppa say?” Jiah piped up as I entered the room and walked over to the kitchen.

“He forgot that he had to tell us yesterday… ” I merely shrugged as I shuffled over to get some toast. “And he’s on his way to pick me up so our CEO can discuss it with me I guess…”

“So it’s not just a rumor?” Sooyeon frowned as she leaned her head onto her hand that was resting on the table. “You’re officially Topaz’ leader, and we get no say in this either?”

I sighed, sensing the disgruntled undertone in her voice as she asked that. “I guess you so.”

Did they really think that I was all that happy and confident about this decision? I, myself didn’t even think I was capable of being the leader, they didn’t have to rub it in like that. This has always been the reason why I preferred hanging out with Sunhwa. She didn’t talk down on my just because I lacked in something or because I made mistakes with the language. She didn’t talk bad about anyone and she always tried to motivate people by finding the positive in every situation, and she always tried to include me in some way. But now I felt the total opposite, knowing how these girls looked down to me even if by age I was their senior that they should respect, I felt like the outsider again.

“I wonder what the fans are going to think about this… They thought we were surely going to disband after Sunhwa unnie left…” she continued with a slight hum.

“True, I wonder if they are going to like it if we come back with a new and improved image and song…” Yurah nodded.

I bit the inside of my cheek, waiting for my toast to be ready, trying not to pay too much attention to their conversation. As soon as my piece of bread popped out of the toaster I grabbed it along with a bottle of vitamin water and walked back to my room to get some clothes and get ready, ignoring the stares of my members.

After finishing my toast and getting changed, fixing my appearance so I would look a bit more presentable, it didn’t take long for our manager to arrive to pick me up. I barely said a word to any of the members as he did and quickly ushered us out of the dorm and downstairs to his car.

In the car I felt the gut feeling creep up on me even more as the nerves were growing. I was sitting in the front seat of the car and staring out of the window, pursing my lips constantly.

“Are you excited to be leader?” manager tried with a cheerful tone of voice.

“Ah… I guess…” I nodded slowly.

He glanced over and frowned, “That doesn’t sound like you are…”

“Well, it’s pretty intimidating to fill Sunhwa unnie’s shoes…” I shrugged and sighed deeply.

“Maybe, but they didn’t just pick you at random, they put a lot of thought into picking a leader… But he will explain that all to you later, I’m sure.”

I nodded once again. Lee Soo Man must have had his reasons for picking me as the new leader, knowing he had to pick wisely to avoid Topaz turning into a flop that would only cost him money instead of earning it.

As we arrive at the SM Entertainment building, I enter slowly and make my way up to Lee Soo Man’s office, hearing music somewhere in the distance as one of the sunbae groups is rehearsing.

I wait till I get permission to enter his office and knock on the door politely before entering and immediately bowing before my CEO who greets me back with a nod and motions me to sit down on the chair in front of his desk as he leans back slightly in his.

“Let me start by congratulating you with your promotion to leader,” he began as soon as I nervously sat down.

“Uhm… Can I ask why?” I managed to get out. I never really had a one-on-one meeting with the CEO so I was pretty intimidated by the situation.

He frowned at me as I interrupted him and he leaned back even more, folding his hands together in front of him, “Why I decided on you being the new leader?”

I nodded, “Why me? A leader needs to have leadership skills, they need to be articulate and able to lead a group of different personalities…”

“True, there are a lot of leader aspects that you lack in,” he nodded after I finished speaking and glanced up at him for an answer. “The only reasoning was that you’re the oldest of the group now…”

“But why would that be a factor? Look at groups like 2NE1, their leader isn’t the oldest of the group and…-”

“You shouldn’t compare yourself to other groups and their situations, one of the first rules of being a leader,” he let out a slightly frustrated sigh. “Besides, I just followed someone’s advice.”

“Advice?” I frowned.

“Never mind that, you are now the new leader for Topaz and I expect you to do your utmost best not to ruin the image of the group and the label.”

With a sigh, I nodded and leaned back into my seat. There was no way I could talk him into changing this decision, especially not when he followed up on someone else’s advice.

“Now, Topaz is going to make their comeback with the new and improved group next month. You’ll be recording and preparing for this starting tomorrow and you are going to participate in the preparations for the SM Town concerts that are also being held next month. Make sure that every member works hard and don’t let any of us down. Is that understood?”

“Neh, I understand.”

“Remember, as leader you bare the responsibility of the entire team, so it’s up to you to make sure everything goes flawlessly.”

Again, I simply nodded with a soft “Ne.”

“Are there any further questions?”

“No, no questions.”

He nodded, “Good, then you may now leave.”

Silently I stood up, bowing deeply and politely before glancing down and walking out of his office. I still didn’t quite know how I should be feeling about this. Part of me wants to be happy that someone actually thought I had it in me to lead the group, though with the harsh words spoken by my members and the CEO, I was even more nervous about the reaction of the fans.

With my head stuck in my thoughts and my gaze fixated on the ground, I had no idea where I was walking and it resulted in my bumping into someone and falling backwards onto my .

“Ah, mianhae! I wasn’t paying attention!” I quickly said without looking and scrambled onto my knees, bowing in apology.

I heard a soft chuckle, “No need to apologize, are you okay?” the voice asked and I looked up, finding myself staring into the eyes of SHINee’s leader Onew.

Slowly I nodded to his question as he stretched out his hand to help me up and I gladly took it, biting my lip as I felt so embarrassed that I bumped into him.

“Sorry, I was really lost in my thoughts for a moment,” I managed to apologize again but he waved it off with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it, happens to me all the time,” he smiled. “Ah, I heard about your promotion, congratulations Jewel-sshi! My new fellow leader.”

I nodded hesitantly, “Yeah… Thanks.”

“You don’t seem too happy about it…” he tilted his head slightly.

With a soft sigh I merely shrugged, “I think I just need to let it sink in a bit more for me to fully accept what’s going to happen from now on…”

“Makes sense… Well, I have to run now. But good luck ne? I’m sure you’ll be a great leader, just like Sunhwa,” he smiled as he his heels and waved nonchalantly before walking off again.

I stared after him for a moment before his words sank in and I realized the answer on my question. Who adviced Soo Man to pick me as the new leader? Sunhwa.

Author's note: Thank you for subscribing! I'm really excited about this story since it has been haunting my mind for weeks now and I finally got around to writing it. I have so many ideas and things that are going to happen so I hope you guys bare with me!  Let me know what you think of the chapters~ ;)