The first time you fall, it’ll last forever

 

“love isn’t always at first sight, sometimes it grows on you. No – it always does.”

 

 

 

The first time he starts seeing Nickhun with more than just platonic feelings is when they are filming Idol Army – episode 4, a Christmas special with 2AM.

 

“We’re playing the card kiss game” Nickhun says, sliding the paper thin piece of paper across his fingers. “Aren’t you disgusted? You haven’t even dated someone – let alone kissed someone.”

 

“Will I be kissing you?” Wooyoung yawns tiredly into the palm of his hand – watching the wax paper glide against the perfect skin of .

 

“Yes” Nickhun breathes – and Wooyoung looks up to meet the other’s eyes, both sinking into each other.

 

And maybe his heart first started slipping away then; that smoldering look of desperation and worry.

 

“Then it’s fine” Wooyoung says calmly, pushing his hands into his sweater pockets and standing up. “We should practice.” He smiles, and then he laughs at Nickhun’s bushy eyebrows rising in surprise.

 

“Okay” Nickhun agrees, placing the wax paper against his lips.

 

There both are in the seating room by themselves, not a another soul, not one camera, no one. Just Wooyoung and Nickhun Horvejkul, Nickhun and Wooyoung.

 

It’s painful, and quite embarrassing but Wooyoung leans forward hesitantly, hands sliding to hold Nickhun’s face as he leans forward, breath ghosting past the paper into Nickhun’s opened mouth.

 

He tilts his head to the side, and their lips touch (a thin piece of paper blocking a full kiss) and Wooyoung’s first kiss is gone.

 

And he doesn’t mind at all, actually.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jang Wooyoung.

 

It’s a branding sometimes – his name at others.

 

He’s branded the name ‘Jang Wooyoung’ and sometimes he wishes he made a stage name, because he feels so opened and vulnerable with his real name. Then there’s Jang Wooyoung – the man so helplessly falling for Nickhun; it’s worrisome.

 

“What are you doing?” Nickhun asks while sitting close to Wooyoung – too close.

 

“Were playing the kissing game again” Wooyoung groans, “because Junho missed it, last time.” He elaborates, and Nickhuns shrugs.

 

“Should we practice again?” Nickhun offers, something glinting in his eyes, shining so brightly, as if a hidden agenda is right before Jang Wooyoung’s eyes (the man in love with Nickhun, a band member from Thailand)

 

“Yeah” Wooyoung says, turning his body sideways, and Nickhun follows the action, Wooyoung places a hand onto Nickhun’s bicep, leaning forward.

 

“The paper” Nickhun breathes, looking to the side.

 

Wooyoung’s eyes ghost over the paper, then Nickhun’s lips.

 

“Wooyoung” Nickhun whispers so softly too softly.

 

And Wooyoung leans backwards, heart aching and body rigid from rejection.

 

“I think we’ll be fine” he says sharply, and watches the curious gaze take over Nickhun’s large doe eyes – “I need to go to the bathroom” he finishes, standing up and pushing his hands into his  coat pockets.

 

“Wooyoung” Nickhun calls out, grabbing the back of his jacket to keep the other from walking away,  “Wooyoung look at me.”

 

And he wants to hiss out a no, I look at you too much already.

 

But he doesn’t – and he wonders why he doesn’t.

 

And he’s Wooyoung, and maybe Nickhun over uses his name to much – because he’s been branded, three times by his name.

 

Jang Wooyoung whom is a star,

 

Jang Wooyoung whom is a no one,

 

Jang Wooyoung whom is so helplessly in love with Nickhun Horvejkul that –

 

“I need to go to the bathroom, Nickhun-hyung.”

 

“Turn around” Nickhun demands, his voice more strong, his fingers interlacing into the black winter jacket, “look at me.”

 

So he does, Jang Wooyoung (helplessly in love with Nickhun Horvejkul), turns around, not at all surprised that Nickhun is standing, and slowly the taller more breath taking beautiful male leans forward, hands reaching out to grab Wooyoung’s chubby face.

 

“Don’t do that” Nickhun says in a pathetic voice, forehead falling against Wooyoung’s. “Don’t turn your back to me when you look so sad.”

 

“I’m sorry” Wooyoung whispers, toes curling in happiness.

 

“Can you two stop being homo and hurry to the recording?” Jaebeom yells into the room, Changsung right behind him – and Wooyoung wishes he could hurt Jaebeom; because their lips are so close his and Nickhun’s.

 

And he’s sure they would’ve kissed if it wasn’t for Jaebeom.

 

“Stupid hyung” He grumbles, eyes flickering towards Nickhun’s, who looks too angry to fit his Pretty Prince Charming image.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He stretches out his fingers, his toes, and he leans his toned body forward, fingers ghosting over his toes.

 

“What are you doing?” Junsu asks, entering the living room to catch Wooyoung doing odd stretches for flexibility.

 

“Stretching” Wooyoung says, not even turning his head to speak to the other band member. “Nickhun-hyung told me to stretch.”

 

“Of course he did” Junsu rolls his eyes and snatches a drink from the island in the kitchen. “Stop listening to him so well, it makes me jealous, I’m older.”

 

“I like him more” Wooyoung laughs out, leaning his head back to look at Junsu, “plus he’s nicer than you hyung.”

 

Junsu jets out his bottom lip pouting, before shrugging it off.

 

“Whatever kid, this is why Khunyoung is such a popular pairing.”

 

Wooyoung blushes and leans his head forward.

 

Khunyoung.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Let’s go out together” Nickhun beams, fingers tapping against his outer thigh in excitement – or impatience, Wooyoung isn’t ever too sure.

 

“Where too?” Wooyoung asks absentmindly, he usually doesn’t go out with Nickhun because A; Nickhun is always hanging out with woman (and Wooyoung doesn’t like that, because he looks like nothing in comparison to Nickhun’s beauty) and B; because Khunyoung fans are over whelming lately.

 

Wooyoung can only hide so many secrets at a time – the more people, the harder.

 

“The bar, a few of my female friends will be there – I think you might even get a date for once, Wooyoung.”

 

Jang Wooyoung – Nickhun’s friend, band mate, a man in love with another man. That’d be the definition if Jang Wooyoung was to be in the dictionary.

 

Wooyoung sighs, sitting up and glancing over at Nickhun, “no, I don’t want to go. You’re a bad person hyung.”

 

Wooyoung stumbles over to his bedroom, letting the door close behind him with a resonating ‘click’

 

 

 

 

 

Wooyoung yawns into his handful of popcorn, Nickhun behind him, both of their eyes only half focused onto the TV screen.

 

“Wooyoung…” Nickhun whispers softly, and Wooyoung pauses his eating.

 

“Yes?” He asks tiredly, craning his neck to look at his hyung (his very handsome adoring hyung)

 

“Do you like men?”

 

“W – what?” He sputters out incredulously, mouth slacking open.

 

And he was almost tempted to say “yes, you, I love you.”

 

“Ah – it’s just cause, you never date and…”

“No time” Wooyoung brushes off, biting his bottom lip and looking back to the TV screen, maybe both realize that Wooyoung never answered the question.

 

“I’m not homophobic” Nickhun murmurs softly as he raises from the couch and wanders to the kitchen, and Wooyoung watches his back leave.

“Hyung” he calls out after the Thai male – cheeks turning red, “don’t say anything to the others.”

 

And Nickhun smiles – so widely and brightly.

 

“So is that a yes?”

 

“Uh – no, I’m not sure.” Wooyoung decides with a small stutter, eyes glancing somewhere else. “Promise me though, okay?”

 

“Okay” Nickhun agrees.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe it’s just his imagination – but Nickhun and him become a lot closer after that.

 

And you’d think most people would fall apart after such an awkward confession.

 

But Nickhun is precious and so so so accepting, and Wooyoung loves him so so so much.

 

He draws a small heart onto a blank piece of paper laying idly in Nickhun’s room, and smiles to himself in the desk mirror.

 

Jang Wooyoung loves Nickhun.

 

Very, very much. He thinks,

 

and the thoughts will stay with him forever – he wishes, at least.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Do you want to go out?”

 

Wooyoung taps his Iphone’s screen lighting it up into the dark room (Which is technically Changsung’s and Nickhun’s room – but Wooyoung likes sleeping with Nickhun)

 

“What?” Wooyoung asks curiously, looking up to Nickhun, “where? It’s 1am, hyung.” He says pointedly, looking back to his phone, and rolling onto his side so his back is facing Nickhun.

 

“Just you and I, I feel like we’ve been falling apart lately.”

Cause we have. But Wooyoung refuses to stop sleeping with Nickhun he –

 

He sighs in defeat, pressing the top button to close the screen and the room is dark.

 

“Where?” Wooyoung whispers, turning over to be facing Nickhun again.

 

Nickhun is probably smiling (he always does when Wooyoung gives up to his random demands) and Wooyoung gives a bit of a smile too.

 

“Restaurant” Nickhun decides, “I know a good one.”

 

“Which is open at 1am?” Wooyoung asks doubtfully, arching a brow, “hyung…”

 

“Trust me” Nickhun says strongly – and way too surely.

 

Wooyoung sighs in defeat.

 

“Okay” he decides, and inches a bit closer to Nickhun’s body, “tomorrow though, we should sleep.”

 

“Okay” Nickhun agrees, thin (but muscled) arms sliding around Wooyoung’s waist, “good night Woo”

 

And you’ll be branded, over and over. Wooyoung remembers reading in a story, and he can’t help but feel the truth coming out again.

 

Jang Wooyoung is branded by Nickhun – nicknames and full name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Do you have someone you like, Wooyoung-ssi?” The interviewer lady asks, her kind smile reflecting her soft voice.

 

My type, Wooyoung decides, he likes soft spoken people.

 

He thinks about lying (because Nickhun will bother and ask him who’s ‘the man’ later) but the words leave his mouth before he can stop them.

 

“Yes” he breathes out, a giant smile forming onto his face, “Yes, I do.”

 

And Nickhun’s eyes go wide.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You like someone?” Nickhun whispers (a betrayed look in his eyes) “why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

 

“Ah –“ Wooyoung gasps, remembering that he still needs to explain to Nickhun – “I – I just an idol, not a real crush, I felt like raising my popularity a bit and –“

 

“Wooyoung” Nickhun cuts off cleanly – sharply and precisely, “who?”

 

Jealousy. Nickhun looks incredibly jealous, and mean, Nickhun, 2PM’s Nickhun never looks mean.

 

“Nickhun-hyung?” He murmurs underneath his breath – confused and lost with the swirling emotions in Nickhun’s eyes.

 

“Forget it” Nickhun says sharply, kicking a nearby empty trash bin before storming out of the waiting room – Junho and Teacyeon looking up from reading their scripts; eyes confused and worried.

 

“Forget it” Wooyoung echoes back, fingers reaching to the front of his shirt, clutching it fiercely. “Forget it” he repeats, hoping the more he says it – he’ll just forget it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Wooyoung-hyung isn’t sleeping in Nickhun-hyung’s room” Changsung says amongst the other members, in hushed whispers. “Something’s wrong.”

 

“Leave it be” Junsu groans, and Junho hits him over the head.

“Something’s incredibly wrong, they argued after that interview a few days ago, remember Teac?”

 

“Yeah,” the big-toothed male nods, “I remember Nickhun stormed out of the room angry and Wooyoung was practically crying.”

 

I wasn’t going to cry. Wooyoung thinks bitterly, pretending he can’t hear them from where he’s seated, innocently typing away on his phone, writing Nickhun’s name over and over in his notes.

 

“What can we do? They always argue and sort it out themselves.”

 

The door slams open at that exact moment and everyone’s heads up to Nickhun stumbling into the dorm – dead drunk.

 

“Wooyoung, JANG ING WOOYOUNG” Nickhun slurs into a scream, bashing his fist against the nearest wall, “get your puny little here this moment!”

 

And Wooyoung stumbles upwards, glancing towards all the rooms to catch one being open and plans how to bolt –

 

“Wooyoung” the voice is softer, as if a plea, and the rest of the members are silent, “please come here or else I’ll say things I promised you I wouldn’t say to the others.”

 

“Ah” Wooyoung pauses, stumbling towards Nickhun’s voice, “W – wait hyung”

 

“here, outside, now.”

 

“Wait Nickhun you’re drunk just –“

 

“Be quiet” Nickhun hisses at Teacyeon, grabbing Wooyoung’s shoulder and pushing him out of the dorm. “I’m taking him, don’t know when we’ll be b – ack, bye.” Nickhun slurs heavily, slamming the door right in Teacyeon’s face.

 

“ – Hyung” Wooyoung whimpers softly, fingers lacing into Nickhun’s shirt as the other drags him and practically flings him into the elevator.

 

“I don’t agree, I don’t want you to like anyone else.”

 

“Else?” Wooyoung breathes, voice choking up from worry and hope – hope, that maybe Nickhun may love him too.

 

Nickhun turns around, eyes stern and unfocused.

 

“No one but me, you’re not allowed to love anyone but me.”

 

And Nickhun reaches out, hands cupping Wooyoung’s face and they lean close, their lips bumping against each other’s, and the elevator doors beep open, and there’s a huge scream, and maybe a flash in between.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“He was drunk” Wooyoung protests worriedly, shoving Nickhun onto the couch – “I mean he is drunk, way too drunk.”

“What happened?” Teacyeon asks worriedly, rushing towards the two, “Wooyoung calm down and explain what the hell happened.”

 

“He – uh, kind of – “ he pauses, wondering if he should really relive this story, but they’ll find out one way or the other, it’ll be all over the news, “kissed me” he whispers, “and someone took a picture and someone people saw and –“

“Hold the up” Junsu bursts, cup shattering onto the floor – “what the is going on here?”

 

Junho groans, “obviously Nickhun-hyung is dead drunk, kissed Wooyoung-hyung and now the whole entire world is gonna know.”

 

“Thanks” Wooyoung deadpans.

 

“Uh yes, I got that, but why the is Nickhun trying to kiss him in the first place?” Junsu says blandly, and Wooyoung blushes, throwing his arms around.

 

“How the hell am I suppose to know?”

 

“Oh trust me, he knows” Nickhun grumbles, snatching Wooyoung’s sleeve. “I’m still not done talking to you.”

 

“You mean my face off and getting us in trouble, yes, I see that.” Wooyoung murmurs pulling his arm away from the other, “aren’t you bothered at all?”

 

“No” Nickhun yawns, stretching out onto the couch, “we’ve kissed before”

 

“W – what, when?” Wooyoung stutters, and vaguely remembers the ‘wax paper kisses’, and scoffs.

 

“That was different, there was wax paper between our lips.”

 

“A kiss is a kiss” Nickhun argues, “you should tell me the truth sometimes though Wooyoung, you lied.”

 

“I didn’t lie” Wooyoung narrows his eyes, “look this isn’t the time and place too –“

 

“ that, you two explain what the hell is going on right now and –“

 

“Wooyoung loves me” Nickhun sings into the air, falling onto the couch, “and I definitely love him too, but he’s really mean, he’s saying he likes someone else.”

“I – wait, what?” Wooyoung asks, eyes going wide.

I definitely love him too,

 

Love him too,

 

Love him…

 

“Oh my god” He groans stumbling backwards, “w – wait, this is too much, hold on”

 

“Is a gay love triangle unfolding?” Changsung chirps wickedly from somewhere in the kitchen, something placed in his mouth, “I always knew Wooyoung-hyung has a crush on Nickhun-hyung, it’s really obvious.”

 

“I agree” Nickhun hiccups, and Wooyoung grabs the nearest pillow and chucks it at Changsung.

 

“So… What I’m being told is, Wooyoung liked, or likes Nickhun?”

 

“I never said –!”

 

“He said he likes someone” Nickhun says, eyes going dark, “Wooyoung likes someone other than me.”

 

Miserable, Nickhun looks absolutely miserable and pathetic.

 

“I’m to bloody old to deal with this ” Junsu grumbles, stomping off from this all, grabbing Junho and Teacyeon’s upper arms and dragging them away with him.

 

“Hey – wait, what the hell hyung?!” Junho whines in displeasure, “it’s getting good!”

 

“Were all leaving!”

 

“What about me?”

 

“Everyone, but Wooyoung and Nickhun.” Junsu says sharply looking at Changsung sternly, the youngest sighs dejectedly, dragging his feet towards the door where Junsu is holing everyone’s asses out so the two can have quiet gay time.

 

“Did I say, I love you?” Nickhun whispers, sliding his arm over his eyes when the front door clicks shut. “Very, very much.”

 

“You can’t do this, kiss me and say you love me – you can’t just suddenly throw my world off axis,” Wooyoung protests weakly, dropping to his knees (because they’ve turned to nothing)

 

“I love you” Nickhun repeats, hiccupping into the silent air, “I love you, Yang Wooyoung.”

 

And he’s branded – over and over, he’s Nickhun Horvejkul's property, he’s always been.

 

“I – I was talking about you” Wooyoung says weakly, chubby cheeks going red, “I’ve only ever liked you…”

 

Nickhun slowly removes his arm and wanes Wooyoung over with a finger, “come here” he demands softly and Wooyoung complies, awkwardly moving to be near Nickhun’s head –

 

He’s captured again, lips forming against Nickhun’s.

 

“Mine” Nickhun whispers softly against Wooyoung’s lips, “forever."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“They’re a couple.” Changsung whispers to Junho, who’s eyes sparkle with mischief.

 

“You know, you’ll be asked about the kissing.” Junho huffs out, sipping his boxed juice.

 

“Yeah” Wooyoung yawns out, rolling his eyes, “I know.”

 

“What will you say?”

 

Wooyoung laughs, and looks over to Nickhun sleeping peacefully with a drunken smile on his face.

 

“That I, Jang Wooyoung, love Nickhun Horvejkul.”

 

Forever,

 

I’ll always love only Nickhun.

 

Junho makes a small barfing motion,

 

“Disgusting” he says while smiling, and Wooyoung just laughs.





 

FIN