The Problems with Rankings

Kyuhyun entered the Super Junior dorm, after a long morning of recordings and meetings, wondering why he wilfully chose to live such a life. He couldn’t believe that he was on vacation just a couple days prior, all his memories of rest seeming like a fantasy.  He was probably exaggerating but he would insist that it was hell to get readjusted to endless schedules and meetings after what would be considerable down time for them. It was like leaving heaven to be thrown back into the pits of hell, just their hell being tiredness and a sore jaw. He thinks his brain was hurting as well, having being task to come up with witty comment after comment. Wit was supposed to be natural, derived from the situation, not forced and reserved, yet somehow the producers thought it should just be thrown in from nowhere. He would kill to miss those planning meetings, that was how frustrating they were. His time at the company was a little better though; running through possible songs KRY could be performing, looking at perspective OSTs. Despite his venture into the field of variety, Kyuhyun’s fist, non Yesung, love was singing. It was something that he always enjoyed; despise how difficult it sometimes was. It also helped that he was quite excited about upcoming KRY promotions. That sub grouping was his favourite for quite obvious reason, rather pleased that he would get to spend more time with Yesung. 

That meeting  however had not happened just as yet, the music instructor informing that Yesung had his meeting scheduled earlier in the day and would not be there for the rest of the day, when Kyuhyun had asked as casually as possible.  It was a little disappointing but Kyuhyun knew that Yesung was busy, so let it go, happy when he was finally dropped off at the dorms, wanting nothing more than to return to his room and sleep the afternoon off. He didn’t think he had anymore schedules and they were still technically in a down period, but to Super Junior that didn’t mean much.

He twisted his head, stretching his neck, rubbing a hand at the base of his throat, grumbling about the pull that seemed to be permanently there, promising himself that he would ask Sungmin to see if he could help him out. His roommate was exceptionally skilled as a masseur and he would admit to taking full advantage of that little skill that Sungmin possessed. He frowned however when he realized that Sungmin was still in Japan and he wasn’t sure when he would return, perhaps sometime later in the day or in the night, he couldn’t be sure. He could probably just ask Ryeowook, the eternal maknae was usual more knowledgeable about things like that than he was. He stretched his hand downwards to pull off his sneakers, once more being reminded that he needed a strong muscle relaxant sometime in the future and a nice warm bed, or better yet, a nice warm bed with Yesung. He thought that would be a beautiful solution to his predicament. He made a face however when he remembered that Yesung was not around very much then, being completely immersed with his plans for his family’s new café. He had not seen the man in a couple of days, not since he returned to Korea for any real length of time, Yesung choosing to stay at his own house rather than return to the dorms. Kyuhyun was aware that it was a choice borne out of convenience and necessity rather than anything else and thus approached it with an understanding heart, though he would have much preferred to have Yesung at his disposal in his time in need. It was their life unfortunately. He would just have to learn to deal with it.

With his shoes stored on their large rack, he took those final steps into the 11^th Floor dorm, making a beeline to the kitchen, wanting to grab a drink, not even acknowledging Ryeowook sitting at the table, mind only interested in getting that drink that could finally quench his thirst, prying open the refrigerator door, grabbing the carton of orange juice, ready to gulp straight from the package, Ryeowook clearing his throat, and nodding his head at the glasses put on the table for that purpose. He was torn. He could ignore Ryeowook and quench his thirst then or be spared the nagging and pour it into the glass. The glass won, or rather the want to avoid a nagging Ryeowook did, grabbing the glass and pouring a healthy serving, not wasting any time in gulping large mouthfuls, emptying the glass in record time, releasing a satisfied sound, before finally turning to return the carton to the fridge, depositing the glass in the sink, making no effort to wash it, no matter how Ryeowook looked at him. Finally feeling refreshed he turned to the man sitting at the table, ready to acknowledge his presence.

“Why are you always here anyway? Did they finally kick you out of the other dorm?” Kyuhyun questioned, his form of greeting to the eternal maknae, who despite changing residency always seemed to be around their dorm. It was not that he did not appreciate his presence; Ryeowook was still one of his best friends, just that he had come to take joy in teasing the gentle man about his seemingly endless love for the lower dorm. Kyuhyun knew it was tied to the fact that the people Ryeowook was closest to all lived on the lower floor and as such Ryeowook would always be there to spend time with either him or Sungmin and sometimes Yesung, who was still very highly regarded by the eternal maknae. Kyuhyun though, for some odd reason never felt the sort of discomfort Siwon induced in relation to Ryeowook. He supposed it was due to the fact that they were always KRY and it was hard for him not to think that they should always be together.

“We are working on having you kicked out instead” Ryeowook responded, sticking his tongue out at Kyuhyun, giggling in that way only he could, eyes bright and face warm. He was rather familiar with Kyuhyun’s habit of teasing and had over time learnt to respond in kind, taking no offence to the little glib, smiling warmly at his only dongsaeng.

Kyuhyun laughed hard at Ryeowook’s rejoinder, head rocking back, releasing short burst of bubbly laughter, pleased smiled taking over his countenance. He rather appreciated the fact that Ryeowook liked to banter with him as well. It was always nice to see the effort that they all put in to make him happy, Ryeowook smiling at him sweetly, face teasing when he winked in Kyuhyun’s direction, making the younger laugh even more. He was feeling better then he decided.

“Good luck with that” Kyuhyun advised with a grin, smile plastering his face as he reached onto the floor to grab his bag that had fallen when he started laughing, replacing it on his shoulder, patting Ryeowook on his head as he made to leave the kitchen and head to his room, Ryeowook grumbling that he should stop doing that, saying something about him being the hyung, all of this Kyuhyun ignored, grinning as he left the kitchen with a lazy wave, Ryeowook scrunching up his face as he left, returning to his magazine.

Kyuhyun was rather determined to get to his room and  bury himself in his bed, if not his covers. It was still only 2 o’ clock in the afternoon after all, but he was not the sort that let things like that deter him from sleep. Yesung always said he was just lazy; that was why the time of the day didn’t really affect him severely, and he was tempted to agree, though never did so verbally, vehemently denying such an accusation whenever it was made. When he thought about it, there was nothing better than lying on his bed in the middle of the afternoon and levelling up in Starcraft. He had been slightly neglectful of his game recently, Ryeowook insisting that he actually do something else rather than play games when they were on vacation. He pointed out that the point of a vacation was to relax and he just so happen to find playing Starcraft to be the best form of relaxation. Ryeowook however was crafty in how he approached things, continuously encouraging him to visit this sight and that, never allowing him to settle on a rhythm. At the end of it all he was grateful for Ryeowook’s prodding, positive that he would have greatly regretted not visiting the sights that he did, plus he was being complimented on his tan, so that was rather interesting. He was determined. It would be him and Starcraft for the rest of the evening, a pair ordained by the heavens. There was nothing that would deter him. Then he heard a melodic and was lost to the world.

He was deterred. He didn’t even make it past the living room, Starcraft being abandoned in a heap, thrown from his mind, tiredness and visions of a warm bed seemed like some far away thought. There could be no way Kyuhyun would ever leave the living room, such a thought had to be an imposter. Why on earth would he even think about going to his room, when Yesung was sitting on the couch, head resting back, looking amazing in Kyuhyun’s biased opinion, laughing at something on the television. Kyuhyun couldn’t believe his eyes. Yesung was actually sitting on the couch, feet resting on the coffee table, blonde hair and black tee shirt and all. As far as Kyuhyun knew Yesung would be spending the day with his brother visiting the site he selected for the café, and most definitely not supposed to be sitting on their couch in the middle of the afternoon. Kyuhyun would have thought he was just being crazy, if it weren’t for the melodious bubbly laughter reaching his ears, Yesung seemingly enjoying watching the variety show, Strong Heart it would seem. All Kyuhyun’s previous plans vanished into thin air then, as if they never existed, no other option even considered.  Apparently all else paling in comparison to Super Junior’s lead vocalist.

Kyuhyun took hasty steps, throwing his bag at the side of the couch, sliding into the vacant spot beside Yesung before the older man could even turn his head in Kyuhyun’s direction, Kyuhyun probably moving at what felt like the speed of light, depositing himself on the seat closest to the walkway, made possible by Yesung's chosen seat, the older man sitting right in the middle of the couch, Kyuhyun’s face appearing before his eyes as he turned his head to greet whoever had entered the room, him hearing the footsteps despite the sound of the television, his eyes going wide when he realized that Kyuhyun was sitting beside him, belatedly feeling the shift in the weight and the position of the couch, face contouring into a wide surprised action, mouth hanging open, eyes wide and surprised, words lost in his throat somewhere, heart rate speeding up from his little shock, slowly returning to normal as his brain finally caught up, processing the fact that it was indeed Kyuhyun now sitting beside him, the younger man looking at him with a bright smile and teasing eyes as he adjusted himself to sit properly on the couch, having practically thrown himself earlier, his back actually hitting the arm quite hard. He would consider it to be a necessary sacrifice in his quest to be beside the man he loved, adjusting his body to lean against the backing, not once taking his eyes of the man in front of him, amused as he observed Yesung work through his shock, feeling oddly happy that he was able to surprise Yesung, the older man generally having impeccable hearing, rather difficult to enter a room without his knowledge.

“Kyuhyun ah, when did you get here?”Yesung questioned when he got his voice, seemingly thrilled that Kyuhyun was beside him, his eyes bright with excitement, his voice alive with energy, face bearing clear indicators or joy, being rather adorable in Kyuhyun’s opinion.

“ I just got in actually Hyung” Kyuhyun responded with an equally bright smile…well maybe not equally, positive that there was no one that could smile as brightly as Yesung. The man practically glowed, a vision of happiness. Kyuhyun loved that smiled with a passion, it was something that he cherished and saw as an achievement. He was thrilled to see it then as well, happy that he was sitting with Yesung beside him, that the older man was happy to see him, that he was lucky enough to be the reason that Yesung smiled that brightly. He was all smiles and happiness, fluttering heart and warmth. He wondered when it would ever stop, then wondered why he would ever want it to.

“You surprised me” Yesung confessed, voice carrying that hint of awe, his eyes warm and appreciative, clearly impressed that Kyuhyun was able to get that close to him without him noticing, smile bright, matching his eyes that were wide with wonder, nodding his head to indicate to Kyuhyun that he really was surprised by his quick appearance, hand resting at his heart, tapping it a couple times to ensure it was back at the rate it should be. It was not to say that Kyuhyun had scared him but it was a still a shock to turn and be greeted by gorgeous brown eyes, wide and mischievous, the younger playful and intoxicating, Yesung's breathe caught briefly from the shock. He was however quite glad that Kyuhyun was the one that surprised him, simply because it meant Kyuhyun was home.

“I realized. Your eyes were so wide” Kyuhyun quipped with a  chuckle, truly amused at the memory of just exactly how adorable the older man was when he was surprised, widening his own eyes as a form of demonstration so that Yesung could get a clear picture of just exactly how wide his eyes were when he spotted Kyuhyun beside him, though Kyuhyun was persuaded upon to add a bit of theatrics to the whole thing, spread his face ridiculously, to make his eyes look nearly alien, pulling it back to their normal position quickly, laughing at Yesung's expression, now sort of sour, the older man scowling at Kyuhyun.

“It did not look like that” Yesung asserted, half glaring at Kyuhyun for his very bad, Razzie worthy portrayal of a surprised Yesung, shaking his head at Kyuhyun as a reprimand for his need to tease all the time, Kyuhyun paying no heed, instead simply insisting that it was an accurate recreation of the sight that had greeted him when he slide in next to Yesung. The older man was not likely to believe him, rolling his eyes at Kyuhyun, though a smile tugged at his smile, Kyuhyun being rather adorable as he laughed at his joke, still cutely insisting that Yesung had in fact looked like an alien. Yesung was no longer paying much visual attention to him, turning back to the television with a hiss, deciding that he was going to ignore Kyuhyun if he continued to laugh at him. Kyuhyun eventually relaxing as his laughs eased into easy chuckles, smiling when he noticed Yesung trying not to look at him, the older man undeniably rather adorable.  Kyuhyun looked at him with a happy heart, settling back against the couch, getting comfortable.

“How come you are here anyway? I thought you would be busy today?” Kyuhyun questioned after a minute, curious as to how the man came to be at the dorm in the middle of the afternoon. It was only after he had stopped laughing did Kyuhyun realize that it was odd that Yesung was actually at the dorms then.

As far as he was informed, a measly text message earlier in the morning from Yesung, the older man was supposed to be out all day and Kyuhyun was expected to behave himself and sleep at a respectable hour. Yesung had basically made it clear that he wouldn’t be there much during the day or the night, even after Yesung had not been to the dorms the night prior. That was also something that gave Kyuhyun no joy, the younger man considering himself to be very deprived. He had returned from vacation with the expectation of being able to finally sleep with that warmth beside him, but so far it had been lacking. Kyuhyun though, was attempting to not be a selfish brat and take the circumstances into consideration, rather than be his usual less than considerate bratty self. Kyuhyun was aware that Yesung was extremely busy at the point in time.

With usual schedules up and running, plus work on the new café, Yesung was rather occupied. As such Kyuhyun was willing to forgive his perceived ill treatment, trying to keep his promise and be a better, more understanding presence in Yesung's life, though it would have been made easier if Yesung had actually used his head for a bit. Even after he had been missing for a while, he had simply sent a text message. It annoyed Kyuhyun, but his mind had kindly pointed out that he had not made the effort to so anything at all to inquire into Yesung's progress, so he really wasn’t in a position to make complaints either. He would only point out that he never intended to complain. He knew that Yesung had commitments and would be busy. He was not that much of an idiot! All things considered, it was therefore a bit of a shock to actually see Yesung sitting there so calmly in the middle of day when he was so busy. Kyuhyun wondered if something had happened to make him change his plans abruptly. As far as he could tell Yesung seemed to be alright, and in fairly good spirits. He was interested in the response then.

“I am, but the contractor that I was supposed to meet cancelled at the last minute, so I got a couple of hours off. I thought I would spend it here” Yesung informed, casually, leaving out the part where he had hoped to check in with Kyuhyun. He had regular schedules and meetings, but he had asked his manager to clear some time so that he could meet with the contractors and look at proposals for refurbishment and redesigns, but the major one he was scheduled to meet with apparently had some pressing family matter and had cancelled the meeting. This in turn led to the cancellation of other related meetings and he was gifted with a block of free time. Two hours wasn’t much time but he thought he could pop in to the dorms and visit Kyuhyun. He was aware that he had not been around very much and just wanted to make sure that Kyuhyun was well. He didn’t know how much time he would have the next day and he didn’t want to leave all his inquiries until they were sitting on a plane heading to Jakarta. Then they would be tired and caught up in all the preparations and responsibilities that normally go with putting on a concert. Plus, it would be SMTown, meaning Kyuhyun would get to spend time with his Kyu-line, especially Changmin who would be going into a promotional period. He would rather Kyuhyun spend time with his friends, than having to endure his coddling.

He was hopeful it would work out that way, but he was disappointed when he returned to the dorms only to find a busy Ryeowook, going through their fridge, throwing away all the old leftover food and packing away all the new things that the housekeeper picked up at the store for them .He was amused at the cute eternal maknae, offering to help him, only for him to insist that it was alright and had no problem doing it. Yesung decided that Ryeowook was much too sweet for his own good, so sweet that he didn’t even have to ask before Ryeowook was telling him that the actual maknae was out on schedules  and should be back soon, offering a brief update causally on Kyuhyun’s wellbeing. Yesung really appreciated the subtly that Ryeowook always kindly administer. He didn’t outright make any declarations and never expected Yesung to ask about Kyuhyun. He always knew that Yesung would be concerned and shared his assurance or in some cases left his complains about the brat for Yesung to address in the same manner. Yesung would always be grateful to Ryeowook for all the support he had given them both. He knew it would have been easy to insist he and Kyuhyun were dirty and immoral and turn his back on them, but he never did, not even once. Instead he supported and prodded, helping them both make the most of their imperfect love.

Ryeowook had even been so kind to point out that he could just wait a bit on Kyuhyun as he didn’t have anything pressing. Even before he could protest, the smaller man insisted that Yesung could use the downtime, even baiting him with the possibility of something decent to watch. Yesung considered the possibilities and decided that it was not such a bad idea anyway. It was only two hours anyway, then he would return to meet with his brother and the designer that was supposed to work with them. All his other meetings were cancelled he believed and in all honestly he did need a break from design plans and proposals, before he would be forced to delve right back into the fold for his meeting with the decorator. He had so much on his mind when it came from that, that he just wanted to forget about it all. He couldn’t do that though, so would settle himself with his short respite.

He was going to head to his room but Ryeowook mentioned that Leeteuk had all the variety shows they appeared on for the week saved on their queue and he could feel free to catch up if he so desired. He was intending to decline in favour of a quick nap, but then he remembered that Kyuhyun had been on the variety rounds in the weeks preceding and he had not watched any of them. He thought the least he could do was catch up on the younger’s activity. He knew Kyuhyun would appreciate it. No matter how confident the maknae appeared or how much he claimed that he was satisfied, Yesung was aware that the younger had a lot of anxiety when it came to his variety performance. Kyuhyun always appeared confident and outspoken, but in reality he was shy and rather reserved, preferring to sit at the sidelines rather than put himself out there. Yesung knew he worked hard and it would be a good thing if he could encourage Kyuhyun in that regard. He was by no means great at variety shows, but he was the person that Kyuhyun trusted, so it had to be him to give him that silent encouragement even if he didn’t ask for it. To do that however, he had to actually be aware of what the maknae was up to. Plus, he could spend a couple hours laughing his head off anyway.

“Are you going to be here much longer?” Kyuhyun questioned with a bit of worry tainting his voice, eyes looking at Yesung with a bit of dread, afraid that he would have missed the opportunity to spend time with Yesung. He didn’t know exactly how long Yesung was there and was afraid that the free time the man mentioned was decimated in the period of time that he was away. He swears he would think the universe was against him if that was the case. The opportunity to spend time with Yesung was very rare right then and it would be a colossal waste if Yesung had some free time and he didn’t get to be with him. He was hoping that Yesung atleast had another half hour he could spare. He wanted the full amount of time but knew that he was not going to be that fortunate. He could only hope that he wasn’t too late, that Yesung would still be there for a little while atleast.

“I’m not sure really. Probably a half hour or so. It depends I think” Yesung informed with a warm smile and a shake of the head. He knew what Kyuhyun was asking and was glad that he could say something positive to him. He was also afraid that Kyuhyun would be at schedules the entire time. He was tempted to call him, but refrained, not wanting to disturb him if he was working. It would be sad if they both realize that they couldn’t meet. It was better if he alone knew that it was an opportunity wasted. He was happy that he would get to be with Kyuhyun for a little while atleast. In reality he only had about twenty minutes but he was unwilling to leave Kyuhyun then, so was determined to make it possible to spend whatever time he could with Kyuhyun. Half an hour was not much but it was the best that they could do then and he was going to take it.

Kyuhyun smiled happily when he Yesung's answer reached his ears, thrilled that he was not in fact cursed, that he would be allowed to spend some time with the older man. He didn’t care what they did, once he was next to Yesung he would be the happiest person alive, smiling like an idiot at Yesung, who didn’t seem to mind, also smiling at him warmly, nodding his head in Kyuhyun’s direction to confirm that the sentiment was shared. They didn’t need to say it, they just felt it. Cheesy, sappy or just ridiculous, they didn’t know nor did they care. To them it was normal to feel joy over such things. It was part of their band of love and neither was complaining.

“What are you watching Hyung?” Kyuhyun asked, breaking the warm mood, finally looking at something other than Yesung's perfect face, glancing at the television that was still on but had failed to have his attention up until that point, seeing Siwon’s face plastered on the screen, a CF he had done earlier in the year Kyuhyun remembered, being unable to get a clear picture as to what exactly Yesung was watching then. He didn’t really care much really, just wanting to know what he would be doing for the next half hour, sitting back against the couch making himself comfortable next to Yesung; shoulder’s brushing against each other, but no other real contact. If it was up to Kyuhyun he would drag Yesung into his room and hold him close for the duration of their time together, but the older man looked comfortable enough and Kyuhyun didn’t dare disturb him unnecessarily. Maybe it was better that way. If he had him in his arms it would be hard to release him, especially since it had been a little while since he was so lucky. He was not a greedy person. Sitting there with Yesung was more than enough for him, though he would have been happier if he was allowed to atleast wrap and arm around his shoulder. Yesung would probably smack him if he tried.

The other members were accepting even if they weren’t  exceedingly welcoming of their change in relationship status, but that did not mean they were ready to see too much public displays of affection. The members were not adverse to skinship by no means, Kyuhyun swearing Siwon d Yesung much more watching television with him on the couch than Kyuhyun even did privately, but he knew the reason they avoided it was due to the change in connotation. With the both of them it was much different, everything coming from a different place. Yesung was much too shy to ever enter that foray and if Heechul caught even the slightest bit of intimacy he would tease them mercilessly, and then Yesung would kick him in the head or atleast threaten to. Yesung therefore was very adverse to skinship whilst they were outside of their rooms, even if much more interaction happened with the others. Kyuhyun didn’t really care to argue about it. He understood Yesung's position and he had promised to keep the PDA to a limit when they disclosed their relationship to the members, so he was fine with the set  up.

It only ever annoyed him on days like those, when he was feeling especially deprived. He wanted to hold Yesung and smell his skin, to steal a kiss and a whispered word, things that would require him to be a lot closer to Yesung than he was then. In such situations he really hated their hold no extra skinship whilst outside thing. He had to actually restrain his hands at his side, afraid that if he touched Yesung he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from pulling him to his chest and then Yesung would kill him. It was tough going for him, but the happiness of actually having Yesung there to generate the need for self control was making it atleast bearable. He wondered if he could stretch outwards and hold Yesung's hands. That shouldn’t really be a problem, it being extremely common for the members to do that whilst they watched television or in Donghae’s case practically sit on the other person’s lap. Kyuhyun had actually walked in on him doing that to Yesung a couple of weeks ago and had to resist the urge to murder a fish. He was nearly curled up on Yesung's lap, the older man acting as if nothing had happened, Donghae’s and cooing at his tired jjokkeumani. Kyuhyun had learnt that day that he possessed inhuman self control. He didn’t even know how he didn’t kill both of them. Being with Yesung had, if nothing else, ensured that Kyuhyun had extreme will.

“Just this and that, that Teukie hyung had recorded” Yesung informed with an easy voice, eyes still bright and giving off a happy feeling, smiling at Kyuhyun before he returned his attention to the television, the ad nearly at an end.

Kyuhyun wanted to glare at the television for taking Yesung's attention from him, then quickly realized just exactly how insane that made him seem, settling for a shake of his head and a plan of action. He still didn’t care what they were going to watch rather instead choosing to use the time to devise a course of action that would allow him to slide his hand onto Yesung's lap and capture his small fingers that would not get him killed. He was considering the options available to him, when Yesung's voice interrupted his thoughts, though this time he did not feel the usual joy he had when Yesung spoke to him.

“Siwonnie looks so handsome” Yesung commented with a warm voice, laced with much too much fondness than Kyuhyun could tolerate, eyes once more bright and filled with appreciation, turning his head back to Kyuhyun with a shake, perhaps meant to indicate that Kyuhyun should concur, briefly turning back  to look at the ad on the television. It was one of those coffee ads that Siwon did early in the year, all romance and dimples and Kyuhyun hated it. Yesung seemed to be rather appreciative though, which naturally made him quite upset.

“He isn’t that handsome” Kyuhyun grumbled with a low voice, nearly childishly; face pulling down into a look of displeasure, looking at Yesung as if he had just said something absolutely ridiculous, the displeasure coursing through him. He knew that Yesung had no romantic feels towards Siwon, and more than likely, none towards any other man, yet him saying things like that made his blood boil, especially when it was about Siwon. He really wished that Yesung avoid commenting on how handsome Siwon was, especially since it was true. Reacting that way was probably childish, but he had limited control when it involved Siwon unfortunately.

“How can you say that? Didn’t you say he was your number one” Yesung questioned with a smile that reeked of amusement, Kyuhyun positive he heard teasing undertones, but dismissed it then, Yesung’s eyes bright and distracting as the older man turned to look at him once again abandoning the television. Kyuhyun was confused for a second, eyes a slightly wide as he pondered, Yesung looking at him expectantly, smile curving into a half smirk, as if he had just found something beneficial to him.

“Why would I ever say something like that?” Kyuhyun questioned with strong eyes, looking at Yesung in mild disbelief, almost looking annoyed, acting as if he thought Yesung was the crazy one. As far as he knew he never had a reason to call Siwon handsome and would avoid saying so, especially in front of Yesung. If he wanted Yesung to think anyone was handsome it would be him. Why on earth would be call Siwon handsome? No sensible person would point out to their boy…beloved that the guy that clings to him a koala and had mannerisms, was actually in possession of looks that could qualify him to be prince charming. Really there was no way that Kyuhyun would actually so something like that.

“I don’t know why you said it but you did in your visual rankings thing” Yesung explained, looking at Kyuhyun like he was an idiot when he was trying to explain that he did not know why Kyuhyun would select Siwon, the television forgotten as Yesung turned completely to him, rolling his eyes when he expounding on his lack of knowledge as to the why, turning away slightly when he informed that Kyuhyun had recently confirmed as much, lifting a hand to twirl it around midair when he couldn’t find the word to describe where Kyuhyun did it, settling for a brief description of the events, smiling that he had finally gotten his point across, before returning his gaze to the television, acting rather indifferent.

Kyuhyun on the other hand was far from a position of serenity or even calm to be honest. At first he was confused as to what Yesung was talking about, seeing no reason why he would  praising Siwon’s looks in front of Yesung, thinking Yesung had lost his mind only for him to lose his soul. It all came back to him in a rush and he instantly wished the earth would open up and swallow him whole. That would be such a kind act in that moment, wondering if he really was that unlucky, wanting to bash his head into a wall repeatedly rather than deal with that situation right then or ever for a matter of fact. The last time he had praised Siwon’s looks was at a variety recording, something that they were normally asked and had a specific answer. No matter how many times they were asked, the answer would always be the same. It was customary for Siwon to be selected as the most handsome member simply because he was quite handsome, much to Kyuhyun’s chagrin and the fact that he was officially the face of Super Junior and as such it was expected that they would promote him as such. Having said Siwon was handsome unfortunately was not the problem. The thing that nearly choked him was the fact that Yesung had mentioned visual ranking.

 The last time he had done that was quite recently and he said some things that he never wanted to reach Yesung's ear. It was a disaster then and hell on earth now when he realized that Yesung was potentially aware that Kyuhyun had basically implied that he was one of the least attractive members of the band. Clearly that was not true and he wasn’t even being biased. He was now in a panicked state. If Yesung was aware that he did a ranking, then it was likely that he knew that Kyuhyun ranked him quite low. That was indeed troubling, Kyuhyun immediate afraid that Yesung would interpret his words the wrong way and then he would be in hell. He needed to fix things and fast, but first he needed to kill who ever told Yesung.

“Who told you about that? Was it Ryeowookie? That tattletale! I will kill him” Kyuhyun fumed, looking at Yesung with panicked angry eyes, face clouding over in distress, cheeks a burning red both from anger and shyness, embarrassment, wanting to just hide from Yesung, only standing suit because he deemed it more essential to kill the messenger just then. Kyuhyun had made Ryeowook and the others promise to keep  his little ranking to themselves, when Leeteuk had teased that he must inform Yesung that Kyuhyun had ranked him much higher than he was. It was a tease in good humour, but Kyuhyun had seen the danger in something like that. He didn’t think it was the end of the world, but with Yesung's temperament there was no telling how he could react. Kyuhyun had no intention of having to deal with that and was of the opinion that it could be ignored. Leeteuk told him he was an idiot, advising that Yesung would get mad and decide he would rather be with someone who though he was handsome and leave Kyuhyun forever. Kyuhyun had told him he was a jackass and to keep his mouth shut, in only slightly nicer terms. Leeteuk seemed ready to comply and he expected the same from the others, who all agreed that they would keep that bit information to themselves until either Kyuhyun had explained the reasoning for his listing or wait till sufficient time had passed and it would be a non issue. Clearly people like Ryeowook didn’t know how secrets or promises were kept.

“Would you stop blaming Wookie? I just saw the episode myself” Yesung informed, voice reprimanding and eyes a little firm, Yesung rolling his eyes at Kyuhyun’s conduct, not believing that he was actually blaming Ryeowook about it all, no doubt Kyuhyun would scare the younger man and that did not please Yesung in the slightest, not understanding why Kyuhyun was overreacting so much. How could he blame Ryeowook about a variety show? Slowly the shades of recognition emerged, realizing that Kyuhyun probably didn’t want to be asked about it and had requested that the others stayed quiet in that regard, that Kyuhyun was hiding something from him…hiding his rankings.

Yesung had seen it soon after he had sat down on the couch, choosing that one simply because he recalled Ryeowook being rather excited at the opportunity to attend the show. Originally he thought there was one episode, having rather enjoyed the fact that Super Junior seemed to have improved so much at varieties, Kyuhyun looking adorable in his sweater and youthful and handsome with his sweet soft bright smile. He realized however that it had in fact been two episodes, watching both together. He thought the whole thing was rather amusing and was undecided as to how he felt in relation to the position in which Kyuhyun ranked him. He wasn’t mad really or even very hurt. Slightly aggrieved maybe and perhaps he felt the stirrings of a little mischievousness, thinking that he may be prevailed upon to avenge his slight. He didn’t know exactly why Kyuhyun chose to place him at such a level, undecided if he should be concerned that he was not very handsome in Kyuhyun’s estimation or to ignore it as part of the show and give it no real meaning. In practicality he thought it would be rather unfair to judge Kyuhyun’s appreciation for his aesthetics based on something he said on a variety show. On a rational analysis he refused to give it much merit but at the same time he felt slighted by Kyuhyun. Either way, it was not a kind thing to say or imply and he thought that perhaps Kyuhyun deserved some sort of punishment for his conduct. He was willing to let time decide how he would react, but now he was rather interested in Kyuhyun’s reaction. Clearly Kyuhyun did not wish for him to be made aware of his statement and seeing his flustered nearly panicked state amused him for some odd reason. He rather liked the idea that Kyuhyun was concerned about his reaction, finding the younger man to be quite adorable.

“Hyung I swear it was not like that. Don’t misunderstand alright” Kyuhyun pleaded with Yesung, looking at him with worried eyes and a flustered begging voice, low and panicked, eyes going wide and arms failing as he tried to explain that he had no ill intention whatsoever concerning his stupid ranking system, eyeing Yesung intently so that he could effectively gauge his reaction, becoming more concerned with each passing second when Yesung showed no real outwards emotions, except for a faint smile. That was a good thing right? Yesung smiling was a good thing? He didn’t look mad at Kyuhyun, but then again he often choose to conceal his dissatisfaction with Kyuhyun until he was good and ready to deal with it and at that time Kyuhyun would wish the earth would swallow him, such a predicament being exponentially better than dealing with Yesung when such a thing happened, the older man transforming into some sort of avenging demon that tortured Kyuhyun just for fun. The smile could be a good omen though. Maybe Yesung was not going to read too much into his words. He honestly had no idea how it ended like that and didn’t want Yesung to come to the wrong conclusions. Yesung was very aloof sometimes but his personality was such that he could take statements like that to heart, affecting his sometimes low confidence. Kyuhyun then had a lot of worry. He didn’t want Yesung to ever think that he did not find him to be absolutely gorgeous. Even before he lost his heart and his mind, he had always thought the older man was handsome; on an objective criterion. If Yesung thought any less of himself because of Kyuhyun’s words he would hate himself for it.

“Calm down Kyu ah” Yesung consoled, smile warm and soothing, reaching a hand out to pat Kyuhyun’s head as if he was soothing a puppy, Kyuhyun now looking at him in disbelief, unable to comprehend the fact that Yesung was patting his head like he was a child, whilst smiling warmly at him, the older man’s eyes amused and playful, his fingers Kyuhyun’s hair a bit, smiling beautifully, so much so that Kyuhyun felt that his heart lifting and his worry fading away. Yesung always seemed to have that effect on him, so he was not especially surprised, though it never ceased to amaze him just how effective Yesung was at calming his heart.

He never needed to say a word or make any extreme promises, he just had to be beside him, to smile at him, to let him feel his warmth and Kyuhyun would always feel as if the earth had lifted into the air and he was just floating in peace. It was a surreal existence in all honesty. He knew that he still had the same problem, the same worry, yet he would simply feel at peace. He nodded at Yesung rather dumbly, the older man casually leading him back against the couch, Kyuhyun following along with that same nearly dazed look in his eyes once more, eyes still trained Yesung was confusion, the older man chuckling softly, coming to rest beside Kyuhyun as well, ceasing his , hands sliding down to grab hold of Kyuhyun’s wrist, sliding into his palms as they usually do, fitting his fingers into their place, wrapping around Kyuhyun’s hand, smile bright as he looked at Kyuhyun, the younger man still processing exactly what was happening. It was a gentle sort of feeling, Kyuhyun’s confusion temporarily giving way for him to react, smiling at Yesung in return. Just as he was ready to wrap his fingers around the small warm digits, Yesung slid his hands away, Kyuhyun lifting an eyebrow, Yesung just shrugging, smile still tugging at his lips, turning back towards the television.

Kyuhyun sat beside him quietly for a minute, trying to gather his thoughts and determine the best course of action for him to proceed with. It was difficult, as he was unsure as to what exactly had just happened. He was panicked just a minute ago, afraid as to how Yesung would react. That fear still existed but then he was more calm, confusion the one clouding his mind now. Why had Yesung acted so indifferent? Was he upset and just didn’t want to deal with it then? Yesung was sometimes like that, stubborn to a fault. He did things on his terms and it was something that Kyuhyun had learnt to accept, even if it sometimes boiled his blood. It made Yesung unpredictable and Kyuhyun didn’t like things he couldn’t control, yet somehow he loved Yesung for that reason. He would never understand how things worked out like that, but it did and he was grateful. He was still however unsure as to why Yesung was acting mainly indifferent and dare he say it, slightly amused by the whole thing. It threw off all his plans. He thought that he would just explain to him why that happened and apologize if he had hurt him. So far Yesung had given no indication that he was upset or hurt, instead seemed to be more indifferent or amused rather than anything else. Kyuhyun was unsure as to what exactly he should say and therefore was quiet for a full minute, quite shocking really. Yesung however didn’t seem to notice, back to watching the television was if he was unconcerned.

“I am calm. I just wanted to explain” Kyuhyun rejoined eventually, now feeling a lot more calm, even if he was still plagued by confusion, then realizing that Yesung was treating him like a child, dismissing his worry and stress, making him feel aggrieved, feeling the need to insist that he was fine, that he had a reason for his reaction, that he was not overreacting or whatever else Yesung possibly thought. He was simply trying to salvage some pride, realizing that he must have come off quite panicked before. He hated that Yesung was able to pull at his emotions so easily, despised it to be honest. He was always very even before, now such balance was only a distant memory. Yesung only turned to him with a lifted eyebrow and a chuckle, clearly seeing through Kyuhyun’s little defensive posturing, finding amusement in it more than anything else, Kyuhyun pulling a face and looking away, knowing that Yesung was not buying his act of indifference, Yesung looking at him with those eyes that made him think the older man knew everything, smiling at Kyuhyun with affection.

“You don’t have to explain” Yesung assured, smile still tugging at his lips, rather taken with the adorableness of the younger man sitting beside him, feeling more affection than anything else. He didn’t think Kyuhyun needed to explain just then anyway. As far as he could tell Kyuhyun was already rather regretful and he was more than willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He however was ashamed to admit that he had contemplated making the younger suffer a little bit, Kyuhyun not looking as if he liked the idea of explaining that much, but would gladly do it to avoid a misunderstanding. Yesung could see Kyuhyun’s sincerity in his willingness to explain the situation and knew for sure that Kyuhyun had no ill intention.

He still didn’t know exactly how Kyuhyun saw him and he supposed he didn’t mind that much. Regardless of what Kyuhyun’s thought of his looks, there was never any doubt in his mind that Kyuhyun loved him. It was something he couldn’t escape. It was reflected in all the actions of the younger, shone brightly in his eyes and coloured his words, tainted his touch and corrupted his life. Even if Yesung was blind and deaf he would know that Kyuhyun loved him. It was nearly impossible to escape. He had never doubted Kyuhyun’s love once, the longevity of said love, sometimes. It scared him sometimes how much Kyuhyun seemed to love him. He always felt that one day he would let him down and on that day Kyuhyun’s heart would break that much harder. The more Kyuhyun loved him the more he was going to hurt when he realized that Yesung was not was he thought he was , when he realized that he had made a mistake, when he realized that Yesung was never good enough for him. Kyuhyun’s disappointment would be too much to bear and it would kill Yesung.

He tried so hard though to protect both him and Kyuhyun. He wanted them to love that much less, so atleast on that day they would have something left, that Kyuhyun wouldn’t be heartbroken at how wrong he was. He tried his best to keep that little distance, but no matter how hard he worked, Kyuhyun seemed to want to destroy that plan. He never permitted any distance and worked even harder each day for them to be closer. Yesung thought it was endearing and that was exactly the problem. They couldn’t love that much. It was dangerous and frightening. He had to protect them. He had to protect Kyuhyun’s heart, even if the idiot didn’t realize that he should be doing it. When Kyuhyun realized that he had made the wrong choice, he wanted the younger to be able to survive the disappointment, to save a bit of his heart. He would do it for Kyuhyun, even if the younger couldn’t do it.

He looked at Kyuhyun’s confused face and smiled a little bitterly. Plans worked so well in his head or on paper, but always seemed so in effective in reality. Looking at Kyuhyun’s wide disbelieving eyes, seeing his face change when understanding dawned, looking at the change in his eyes as he was ready to argue, face scrunching up, eyebrows being drawn together, mouth opening, no doubt ready to stubbornly insist that he had to explain, cheeks getting that warm tinted that only happened when he was on the verge of frustration, his hands lifting for him to wave about as he tend to do when he thought his point was not getting across. Yesung's heart strings tugged at his insides. How was he supposed to ask his heart to love Kyuhyun any less? How was he supposed to be indifferent to the endless charms the younger seemed to possess? How could be expected not to love him more and more each day, to stop himself from creating fantasies of an endless future together, to stop that longing he to be with someone so perfect, so special? It was like asking him to cut out his heart, to blind his eyes and rip out his eardrums. He sometimes thinks he would have to do all that to love Kyuhyun any less and then he somehow knows even then he wouldn’t be able to stop the affection overtaking him. He never expected to be in such a condition, never wanted to be there in all honesty and to make it worse, he had to fall that much in love with a man, a bandmate. He was just asking to suffer wasn’t he? He loved Kyuhyun more than he should and he had no way to stop it from growing each day.

He kept his gaze on the younger, his heart burning him in that uncomfortable way, mocking him. The more he tried to exist without Kyuhyun, the harder he fell. It was like playing a game where he could never win. No matter what he did he was just fooling himself. Could he ever love Kyuhyun any less? Could he ever not long to be by his side? He couldn’t and somehow the bitterness of failure was not as sour as it should have been. He laughed at his ownself. He didn’t even have the good sense to be saddened by his failure, that he didn’t have the courage to stop falling into that pit, to pull himself to the shore. He was heading to his ruin and he was happy. Somewhere a voice promised him that he would regret it, icy and cold, only to be warmed by some soothing force from within that always seem to drown out the coldness. Did he even want to be saved? Did he care for salvation? He saw Kyuhyun leaning forward, no doubt to ask him why he was had rejected his explanation, the warmth igniting in his heart. The child was so headstrong and proud, he was amazed. He chuckled then, the emotion in his heart strong.

Without a thought, he leaned forward just a Kyuhyun was ready to reprimand him for all the mixed signals, drawing closer to each other, Kyuhyun’s eyes a mixture of confusion and frustration, Yesung smiling at him with affection. Once he was close enough, he quickly pressed his lips to Kyuhyun’s cheek, swift, the blink and you would miss it sort of kiss, before retreating, head turning away so fast he could have actually suffered from whiplash, cheeks instantly burning, eyes darting about to make sure that no one could have possibly seen him do it, avoiding Kyuhyun’s eyes until his heart could find some balance, just then pounding in his chest, his mind seemingly only able to focus on the fact that Kyuhyun’s skin was apple flavoured, deciding that he really liked apples, not much able to reach through the bubble, the affection once more growing, seemingly having no concern for his always brilliant plans. He would have wondered why he even tried but all he could think about was the taste of apple scented cheeks.

Kyuhyun was shocked to say the least, his face cherry, blushing even though it was Yesung that had kissed him, eyes automatically darting to the kitchen and the corridor to ensure that no one else had seen that little moment, hand reaching up to pat his cheeks to cool the heat that was raising there, mind confused. He had no idea what was going on and right then he didn’t want to know, his mind clouded by the feel of soft lips and brush of silky blonde hair, the teased coffee filled aroma. He needed to clear his mind but the butterflies in his stomach were making it quite hard.

“You are being weirder than usual” Kyuhyun observed, looking at Yesung with a confused, mildly accusatory smile, voice interested yet laced with that bit of shyness, his cheeks still tainted by that brushing of red that had yet to be swept away, looking at Yesung with soft eyes, unsure as to how to face him. As far as he could tell, Yesung's mood was all over the place, which was not entirely shocking but was still a bit difficult to wrap his mind around. Yesung almost always avoided things like that in public, terrified that someone would see him and make him blush crimson. Kyuhyun was shocked when his lips connected to his skin, a barely there brush but it still sent that now familiar electricity barrelling through his body, still unable to understand what would provoke such an action. He was sitting there fretting over why Yesung was rejecting his explanation, afraid that Yesung had already made his own conclusions and did not wish to let Kyuhyun disrupt what could be his possible anger. Kyuhyun did not want such a situation to develop at any cost. He didn’t want his stupid words to make him suffer or for Yesung to be hurt by him, even if he was just joking. Yesung however, had thrown him for loop once again, most definitely not expecting Yesung to kiss him on the cheek, filled with affection. Would be ever understand how Yesung's mind worked?

“I am?” Yesung asked, finally turning back to look at Kyuhyun, his mind finding some composure, settling himself, no longer feeling as shy, though his cheeks didn’t seem to get the memo, still a blushing red, his eyes bearing that shyness, but his voice was steady and the humour was leaking out of him, his face contouring into a curious posture, confusing Kyuhyun once more. He was holding his breath for a split second, unsure if he had gone to far, Yesung's question scaring him a little. He hesitantly nodded his head, unsure if he did the right thing. He was aware that Yesung could have interpreted his comment as a slight and was hesitant to confirm it. Yesung was weird. He knew that. Kyuhyun knew that. Kyuhyun pointed it out from time to time. Kyuhyun was ignored and punished when he did sometimes. Kyuhyun did not wish to be ignored. That basically summed the reason why his head moved as if it was on rusting hinges, eyes glued to Yesung's face to gauge his reactions, mentally mapping out his aeygo act just in case things went south. Would be lower his voice and cling to him? Or maybe he would act more upset and have Yesung coo at him. All that was annoying but it was much better than being ignored by the older man that was for sure.

Kyuhyun’s plans were interrupted midway when Yesung's face started to change, a reaction imminent. Once again Kyuhyun was left having to keep his mouth close, eyes going wide, when Yesung just leaned back and laughed happily, muttering that he thought so as well, voice happy and filled with mirth, his eyes disappearing as he laughed in that loud bubbly sort of sound only he could ever make, face turning red from the effort, Kyuhyun thinks he has never seen anything more beautiful. He is confused and more than likely lost, but decided then and there that he didn’t mind being lost, once he was lost with Yesung, pushing all his confusion and questions away, deciding then that he would be whatever Yesung needed or wanted. If Yesung chose to let it all go, he was more than happy. He would follow wherever Yesung led anyway, the humour getting to him as well, laughing due to the sheer craziness of the situations he often found himself in, bubbly and happy, both missing Ryeowook twisting his neck to see what at made the rest of KRY laugh like that, both however out of his line of sight, deciding that it could wait, the article on the proper preparation of batter a much better source of entertainment anyway.

“ You got the list wrong anyway. You put yourself in the wrong place” Yesung commented when their laughter died down, deciding that he was ready to speak to Kyuhyun, his shyness from the kiss evaporating, leaving him feeling light and playful. His yes looking at Kyuhyun in alight arch, a form of inquiry, questioning whether Kyuhyun was aware of that fact or not, leaning back against the couch, body titled to look at Kyuhyun as he spoke to him, lowering the volume on the forgotten television as he turned to look at Kyuhyun in the eyes, his face still bearing the remnants of his mirth, expression free and interested, showing signs of amusement, Kyuhyun feeling warm at the sight.

“You’re right. You think I should have been first, right Hyung? I knew I should have been first!”Kyuhyun beamed, shaking his head playfully to indicate his regret at the situation, face splitting into a grin, eyes bright and mischievous, energy returning to him. He had let his fear slip away, comforted by Yesung's indifference of his words, and perhaps just tired waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yesung seemed at peace with it and in fact was being very playful, Kyuhyun’s confidence returning after the kiss, deciding that he had worried enough. If Yesung was mad, he wouldn’t be talking to him in that manner or at all really, and so far Yesung seemed willing to play with him. He was just going to take it as it was and deal with any complication later. It was pointless to waste the little time they had left together with him killing himself trying to walk on eggshells. Yesung would just deal with him as he always had and Kyuhyun was going to tease. It was the way he was most comfortable and he would be satisfied. Plus, he wondered slightly how Yesung viewed him.  He knew he was handsome, no doubt about that, but it would definitely boost his ego to hear it from Yesung. He quite liked that idea, he decided with a half smirk.

“Don’t be silly. Siwonnie is always number one” Yesung corrected with a soft sweet giggle, acting as if Kyuhyun had just said that the earth was flat or the sky was not blue, looking at Kyuhyun with those laughing eyes, as if Kyuhyun had just said the most idiotic thing and he had to correct him, clearly taking joy in his duty, looking a bit serious, considering the options, his voice strong when he insisted that Siwon was most handsome. Kyuhyun at first was numb, then he was conscious, and then his blood boiled. Seriously? He knew Siwon was handsome, he had to be blind to deny that, but did Yesung really have to act as if the idea of Kyuhyun being more handsome than Siwon was some sort of joke, that it was inconceivable and absolutely ridiculous. He supposed Yesung was playing with him, judging by his giggles, but he had still said it point blank, Kyuhyun had no qualms about concluding that Yesung shared the sentiment for real, and that annoyed him. He couldn’t claim that Siwon was not deserving, but he wanted to be the most attractive in Yesung's eyes. He knew they still had a problem with attraction and intimacy, but even at a superficial level he wanted the older man to think he was the most handsome. Or maybe he just despised losing to Siwon. It annoyed to great lengths that Siwon was ranked above him, even if in reality that was the case. Yesung however was not making it much better, point blank indicating that Kyuhyun couldn’t even compete with Siwon, laughing as he spoke, finding some amusement from the situation, though Kyuhyun could see nothing mildly amusing. Perhaps that just meant that Yesung was playing with him and in all fairness he knew Yesung was to an extent, but it still soured his insides, though he would refuse to admit. He couldn’t even argue about it because he was sure Yesung would accuse him of being envious of Siwon’s looks or simply jealous that he was not selected in the top spot. He forcibly retracted the glare that wanted to be unleashed on the giggly older man, instead allowing the resignation to step in, though making a mental note to ask Yesung if he was insane to  chose Siwon over him, to smother him in arms till he promised that Kyuhyun was the most handsome. Those things had to wait though, time not on his side. He also had to swallow that bit of pride, having to accept that Siwon would have to be number one.

“I guess Siwon is alright at number one, but I am definitely number two” Kyuhyun proposed, keeping his face from glaring at Yesung, once more cooling his insides, deciding that any argument was really not worth the stress over it. He wouldn’t be able to resettle the number one spot from Siwon. That was not something that bothered him in regards to the band though. Siwon was the visual and he had that position. It was his job to be that handsome and Kyuhyun could begrudgingly admit that he was. It only mattered to him that this sentiment was shared by Yesung. He wanted to be the best in his eyes, but so far that was not to be. If he had to lose to Siwon, that was inevitable if he was to be honest. He did however expect to be number two in Yesung's estimation. He was the person the man was in love with. He had to be ranked like that.

“How can you be number two? Jjokkeumani is supposed to be number two. Hae ah is really handsome with his innocent deer eyes” Yesung continued with the same amusement tainting his voice, shooting down Kyuhyun’s suggestions of his possible position, indicating which one he thought should be there. In truth, whilst he found everyone to be handsome, Siwon and Donghae especially, to him Kyuhyun was the most handsome. He knew he was biased, but he was in love, he was supposed to be biased. Kyuhyun was everything to him. If it as up to him, Kyuhyun would have everything he wanted, his most precious BabyKyu. No one was more handsome than Kyuhyun in his eyes, clouded by love and affection more than anything else was sure, yet no matter how he thought about it, that would always be the case. Even objectively, he had always thought Kyuhyun to be handsome, so he didn’t think his biasness was really that far off anyway.

He was however deliberately messing with Kyuhyun. He contemplated what he would do in retribution for his slight, innocent and accidental as it might have been, and decided that he would look to mess with Kyuhyun a little bit. The maknae was always rather smug and Yesung quite liked doing his fair bit of teasing. Kyuhyun was already squirming about, half glaring at him and he found him to be adorable. He wasn’t causing Kyuhyun any harm, exception bring down his ego a little bit, which was actually sort of healthy for Kyuhyun. Yesung supposed he was annoying Kyuhyun, but a snarky voice that sounded more like Kyuhyun every day insisted that Kyuhyun looked for it and as such he had no intention of stopping, wanting to make Kyuhyun have a taste of his own medicine, plus it benefitted him greatly, being able to enjoy the sight of an adorable Kyuhyun. It was going to be fun he decided, atleast for himself, if not Kyuhyun. Maybe he shouldn’t torture Kyuhyun so much, but it was the least he could do as retribution for his slight. Kyuhyun more than likely meant well, but he still wanted to make the maknae sweat a little. Maybe he was being mean, but he rather liked to think of it as playing with Kyuhyun. They both had a habit of teasing and it was something that they were comfortable with.

“I am better looking than Donghae. He has some weird fish face” Kyuhyun rejected, looking at Yesung as if he was insane, his voice tainted with disbelief and annoyance, eyes wide and stern, face contouring almost comical, as if he thought Yesung was saying something impossible, hands taking on that movement that they tend to do when he was trying to make a point, Yesung trying hard to keep his expression neutral, Kyuhyun the embodiment of adorable, fighting the urge to reach across and squish the maknae, biting back the chuckle at the faces Kyuhyun was making at him, positive that Kyuhyun was already breeding frustration. It was turning out to be just as much fun as he expected, except it was hard to bite back the laughs, trying his hardest to look as if he was considering what Kyuhyun was saying, trying to keep his eyes on the younger without wanting to pinch his cheeks. He nodded at Kyuhyun, a little patronizingly, but Kyuhyun didn’t seem to notice, looking at Yesung expectantly, Yesung then realizing that Kyuhyun expected him to agree. He chuckled then. It was a sweet sort of sound, Kyuhyun getting distracted in the melody, yet he still thought Yesung was crazy. How could Donghae be ranked higher than he was anyway?

“I like his fish face. It makes him cute” Yesung rejoined, the amusement pouring out of him though he tried his hardest to conceal it, keeping his expression explanatory and earnest, as if he really thought Donghae was cute. It wasn’t hard to do really. He was really of the opinion that Donghae was very handsome. His jjokkeumani was very handsome, with his soft features and innocent expressions. Donghae was the cutest thing really, well except for Kyuhyun who wasn’t cute at all, but somehow always seemed to be the cutest thing alive to him. He blamed that one completely on love. He was very much aware that there was nothing in Kyuhyun’s features that would make him look cute at just a glance, but the maknae was always cute in his eyes, it was in the mannerism really. Exemplified by the expression adorning his face, a mixture of annoyance and disbelief. Most definitely the cutest thing alive.

“What?” Kyuhyun nearly spluttered. He couldn’t believe his ears. Yesung had just insisted that Donghae was more than he was. Why on earth would he like that stupid fishy face anyway? Donghae always looked like he was caught in the headlights and had those weird cat faces. It was freaky. You could make a cartoon out of him. Kyuhyun though supposed that could be attractive. Donghae did look like he walked out of a manhwa. Even Kyuhyun could recognize that would be attractive to some people. Yesung was a fan of manhwa’s anyway, so his opinion may be skewed in that regard. Still! He was much better looking than that fishy face. Why was Yesung's taste so bad anyway? He was annoying him.

“I supposed next would be Heebongie. He has such a pretty face and nice eyes” Yesung mused, completely ignoring Kyuhyun’s would be question, shaking his head this way and that as he contemplated the beauty of his hyung. In his opinion, Heechul was definitely beautiful, and that was the right word. He wasn’t classically handsome but he was beautiful, like Kyuhyun but different. Now that he thought about it, he might as well make his own ranking list. Kyuhyun would obviously be number one to him, even if in all honesty that position belonged to Siwon. To him Kyuhyun was always the most handsome, but he didn’t really give much consideration to the others. He could put together a list, keeping the number one to himself. He didn’t think he had the patience or the time to consider the looks of all his bandmates, all being handsome in  his estimation, but he just list the ones that he was closest too and with any luck it would  grate on Kyuhyun’s nerves. There was no way Kyuhyun would appreciate Heechul being ranked above him, even if it would be true, simply because he and Heechul were especially competitive sometimes. What triggered that competitive spirit when he was involved he would never know but sometimes he could admit that it was entertaining to watch Kyuhyun throw a fit and for Heebongie to laugh at him. Kyuhyun was always so cute when he was mad.

“Are you crazy? How on earth is Heechul better looking than me?” Kyuhyun actually sputtered this time, looking at Yesung was wide annoyed eyes. Yesung was crossing a line really. Okay! He could admit that Heechul had that soft pretty girly thing  going on for him. It is possible some people could find that attractive but he really didn’t think that Yesung was the sort that went for that feminine look. He was beside himself really. How could Yesung select Heechul over him? Even if Heechul was pretty, he was nothing compared to Kyuhyun ....right? Maybe Yesung just preferred Heechul over all. Kyuhyun always thought that tehy had a weird relationship, with their annoying nicknames and teasing. Plus, Heechul always treated him as if Yesung had settled for him. Kyuhyun really didn’t like Yesung selecting Heechul ahead of him or better yet, at all. Things like that grated on his nerves. He refused to accept that it was that bit of jealousy tearing at his insides, instead insistent that it was just a ridiculous choice and Yesung was quite possibly blind when it came to looks, or that part of him that refused to consider if Yesung genuinely preferred the others to him.

“ Its Heechul ‘hyung’ Kyuhyun ah. Next should be Kibummie right? He has a bright smile” Yesung continued, once again pointedly ignoring Kyuhyun’s sputtering, now the glare that Kyuhyun was shooting in his direction, concealing the smile that was clawing at the insides of his cheeks, quite amused at the frustrated expression that was adoring Kyuhyun’s face, the younger’s face had a sullen expression, his cheeks a soft red, no doubt a result of him trying to conceal his anger and frustration, eyes carrying that sulky upset disposition, looking adorable, as he glared at Yesung, hands waving around as he gulped, clearly looking for his rejoiner, or filtering through all the not so kind things he would want to say.

Yesung knew him well enough to know he was probably cussing both him and Kibum in his mind, and the thought made him laugh, Kyuhyun glaring at him more intensely as he reaction, Yesung smiling at him sheepishly, hands reaching to touch his cheek, only for him to refrain his sensibly quickly enough to retract the hand, handing in mind air like an idiot, lucky that Kyuhyun was too caught up trying not to yell at him to notice. He hastily withdrew his hand, looking at Kyuhyun with warm affectionate eyes, thinking he had never seen anything as adorable as he did then. He always had a bad habit. He always thought Kyuhyun was adorable when he was annoyed. He supposed it was the expressions that would colour his face. It was always filled with sternness and maturity but his eyes always had this petulant, childlike glint that soften Kyuhyun so very much.

“Why are even talking about him? He isn’t even here” Kyuhyun grumbled, glaring at Yesung, not pleased that he was mentioning people that were not even there, especially since that person was Kibum. He was another one of those dongsaengs that annoyed him, one that that tried to monopolize Yesung's time and made the older man weak with their natural cuteness. In Kibum’s case it was even more glaring, as he had reason to suspect that Kibum was a lot more invested in Yesung than he ever let on. That was not Kyuhyun’s business really, but it made him weary of Kibum, more so than Siwon. No matter how annoying Siwon was, he knew Siwon’s love was mainly of a dongsaeng, the lines rarely ever getting blurred, but with Kibum he wasn’t so sure.

The missing member never said anything or had given any indication otherwise but there was something about him that bothered Kyuhyun. He saw some of himself in Kibum and that was worrying. He knew that look in Kibum eyes resembled the one that often made its way to his own eyes and that was the worrying part. Kibum however, kept his distance for the most part and as selfish as it may seem Kyuhyun was glad for that. He missed Kibum in his own way, but he couldn’t seem to be heartbroken that it was that way. In fact it often annoyed him how much Yesung still missed Kibum, though he tried to deal with it. Kyuhyun hated when anyone else had special relationships with Yesung and Kibum was one of those persons. Yesung loved Kibum very much and Kyuhyun could respect that, but he didn’t really love that fact. The mention of Kibum then only served to remind him that even if Kibum was not there, he was still in Yesung's thoughts, his mind. It was the love the older man had for all his dongsaengs, but that still didn’t ease Kyuhyun’s mind. Kibum was handsome. He could admit that. He had that silent brooding thing going for him and he really did have that blinding smile to work with, but Kyuhyun for the first time felt truly aggrieved. It was clear from Yesung's choices that he preferred people with softer features, Siwon being the exception. Kyuhyun refused to consider what it meant for him though, rather just glare at Yesung for making him have weird thoughts.

“I know but I miss him. I haven't seen him in so long” Yesung sighed a little regretful, “Wookie is here though. He should be next” Yesung continued his listing, smiling at the thought of his sweet dongsaeng sitting in the next room, going through his magazines. Thinking about Kibum that way hurt his heart a little. Kyuhyun had regrettably pointed out that Kibum was not there and it hurt to remember that. The younger man was a close dongsaeng of his, one that he missed greatly. It was hard when Kibum left, but he tried his best to support him, to support his choice and to wish him well. He was glad that things were working out for his dongsaeng, just a little sad that he did not get to see Kibum very often. He had learnt to accept that fact and was willing to let it go. Being a reminded that Kibum was not there though always seemed to make him sad though. He didn’t know if he would not be in truth.  He wanted to let those thoughts go though, thus returning to listing his choices, realizing belatedly that he had forgotten Ryeowook. 

How could he forget one of his favourite dongsaengs?  He knew Ryeowook often received some flak for his looks but in Yesung's mind it did not matter. Ryeowook was probably the sweetest person he knew and that was all he cared about. He never really examined the younger’s looks, the affection he felt for him overriding all other things. Wookie was a great person, with a beautiful heart, plus Yesung often felt envious of how sleek and chiselled his jaw line was . It was sharp and distinctive and Yesung thought it made him quite handsome. He glanced at Kyuhyun though, who clearly disagreed, shaking his head rapidly, ready to argue, Yesung not even bothering to stifle the chuckle, wondering how Kyuhyun had not caught on to his little plan of action as yet.

“Now I know you are crazy. I am definitely more handsome than Wookie” Kyuhyun argued, voice raising slightly, wanting to pinch himself to ensure he was not involved in some crazy messed up dream, in which he was hearing Yesung name everyone under the sun than him .Was Yesung losing his mind? Couldn’t he tell that Kyuhyun was handsome? He wasn’t even kidding. He knew he was handsome. He had been told as much since he could remember. The old lady next door said so when he was going to kindergarten, his 1^st grade teacher said so the second she saw him, the entire choir in High School, even some guys that he had gym with had commented that they were jealous of his good looks .The compliments only increased exponentially when he made his debut with Super Junior, even seniors in the industry repeatedly insisted that he was handsome .There was no way that all those people were wrong. He was most definitely handsome, his mirror said as much.

It was that reason he couldn’t phantom how on earth he was being thus treated. He knew though that Yesung was not one easily swayed by others mould. The man was always unique, even in his estimations of beauty. It was for that reason, that even with his mountain of compliments to support him he was uncertain. It could really be that in Yesung's eyes he was not handsome. He really did not like that idea very much. He knew that he and Yesung still had problems with regards to attraction and things like that but he had always assumed that Yesung thought he was handsome, that Yesung appreciated his facial features. He was sure that Yesung had called him handsome a couple of times, but it was possible that the older man had changed his mind, that he had decided that Kyuhyun really wasn’t that attractive to look at and the thought both saddened and infuriated him. Yesung had to know that he was handsome right? He had to appreciate that Kyuhyun was good looking, that he was fortunate to be with someone so desirable. Did nothing like that matter to Yesung? Was he more inclined to like the others rather than him. His heart burned with anger at that, something that felt suspiciously like jealousy burning him, though he knew it wasn’t. Kyuhyun didn’t feel jealousy, so it couldn’t be that.

“I don’t know about that. Wookie is quite handsome and so is Eunhyukkie” Yesung commented with shake of his head indicated that he thought it was as such, eyes teasing and playful, contouring his face to a contemplative mood, trying to keep himself from smothering Kyuhyun in an endless hug, the younger man looking beyond adorable, with his sullen expression, clear that anger was starting to burn in his depths, clearly dissatisfied. Yesung worried for a split second if he was pushing Kyuhyun too far. He only meant to , not necessary hurt him. He thought however, that Kyuhyun was always confident when it came to his looks. No matter what he said Kyuhyun would boast about how good looking he was, so he really didn’t need to worry that much then. He just wanted to play with Kyuhyun’s pride and ego a little bit, a form of punishment for wounding Yesung's own pride. He didn’t think Kyuhyun would take much to heart and was in fact just waiting for the younger, normally brilliant man to figure out that he was just messing with him. Kyuhyun would probably want to kill him then, but it was worth it, if he could pull the snarky bastard down a peg or two. Kyuhyun would come to appreciate it….well, he won’t but Yesung thought he deserved his share of entertainment. Kyuhyun normally mercilessly and he was already, and always forgiving, so Kyuhyun should be like minded. It was not as if he was lying anyway. Eunhyuk was handsome. He had a pretty jaw line and he didn’t actually say he was more handsome than Kyuhyun. The younger looked nearly murderous, Yesung laughed some more.

“Now I know you have lost your mind. You have to be insane to think that monkey is more handsome than I am” Kyuhyun objected steadily, looking at Yesung with wide disbelieving eyes, rolling them as if to indicate that he just thought Yesung was just plain crazy, lifting his arms once more to indicate that he was giving up. He could either conclude that Yesung was insane and had no taste whatsoever, bordering on blind or he was messing with him. It was quite possible that Yesung was messing with him, but knowing the older man’s disposition it was also quite possible that he was just that warped. Kyuhyun actually prayed in that second that Yesung was just playing some sick joke on him, rather than being that convoluted to think everyone else was more handsome than he was.

He could admit that things like that were really based on the viewer and as such it was quite possible that someone could think Eunhyuk was better looking that he was. He could understand and respect that when it came to their fangirls but he just couldn’t accept something like that when it came to Yesung. The older man was supposed to think he was most handsome. He was not supposed to be objective or anything like that. He was just supposed to think that Kyuhyun was breathtaking and want to hold him in his arms and smother him in kisses and never let him go. How did those things still escape Yesung's understanding? Kyuhyun was seriously just gonna give up. Yesung would steal his sanity more than he already did if he let that continue. He wasn’t even going to get mad anymore. He would just convince himself that Yesung was playing some sick joke on him and take comfort in that. He would convince himself that Yesung found him handsome and was just trying to carve his heart out for kicks. Somehow having a sadistic beloved was a lot more appealing to him than thinking Yesung didn’t think he was handsome.

He wondered if Yesung felt anything close to what he was feeling when he heard Kyuhyun make that list. If he did , then Kyuhyun was beyond apologetic. He honestly had no intention for it to end like that. He had always regarded Yesung as one of the more attractive members and recently clouded by his affection, he would honestly claim he didn’t think anyone else was as handsome or cute or beautiful or pretty or anything else than Yesung. He was in love, so that was expected. He was proud that he could feel that way. When he was on the show, he was just following the usual mould, trying to be as objective as possible. Despite his personal opinion on the matter he knew that Siwon was ranked first, then Donghae, Sungmin was added as a means to line up with the others and follow the objective ordering. He wanted to mess with Eunhyuk and be funny so he added the others, to just make the effect. It was only when he add asked Leeteuk did he realize that he had forgotten Yesung in the list, and then was in a brief panic. He could see no way to fix it, so looked at Leeteuk for guidance, the older man nodding at him, avoiding Yesung's name going with Kangin, then he choose him as he couldn’t consciously let it continue, wanting to smack himself when he realize that he had left him till the end.

There was no way to fix it, so he was just banking on Yesung not watching the program due to his busy schedule and had made the others promise to keep it to themselves, Leeteuk insisting that he would. He wouldn’t want Yesung to know that he had such an inconsiderate boyfriend. Kyuhyun sputtered , blushed cherry and insisted that he was not Yesung's boyfriend, because thinks like that were weird and just awkward and Leeteuk should stop making it seem as if he was intentionally trying to hurt Yesung, because he wasn’t. Leeteuk had laughed him off, but said he would keep the promise, so that was settled. He wondered if he should have really insisted on explaining, if it could Yesung some heartache, anything similar to what he was feeling.

“ Didn’t I just tell you to call them ‘hyung’ Kyuhyun ah? You are such a brat. Next time I will leave Kangin to kill you” Yesung threatened, eyes disaapointed “He is quite handsome now that I think about it. What do you think?” Yesung questioned with glee filled eyes, changed from his original eyes, looking at Kyuhyun disapprovingly when Kyuhyun refused to use to the proper honorific to address his hyungduel. He had been trying his hardest to make the younger more respectful but it was still tough going, the brat still being as stubborn as ever unfortunately. He really should let the others strangle him. Kangin had been threatening to do as such recently, Kyuhyun refusing to address him as hyung and being rather mischievous when dealing with the short tempered man. He had returned to the dorms to complaints frequently, having to request that Kangin not struggle his BabyKyu. He wondered if he was responsible for the younger’s actions sometimes. He never liked anyone doing anything that could hurt Kyuhyun so had made it quite clear that he would appreciate it if they refrained. In all fairness it was unlikely that Kangin would actually hurt Kyuhyun, but due to Yesung's feelings on the matter most just deferred to him automatically. He was starting to think he had created a monster, but Kyuhyun was always so adorable. He was hopefully that one day he would remember to be respectful as well. He looked at Kyuhyun with affectionate eyes, allowing his hands to reach out to him, reaching for his hand rather than his cheek, grasping the long fingers in his hands, Kyuhyun seemingly not noticing, face looking mad as he argued.

“That is just plain ridiculous. What would be attractive in Kangin hyung? He has a big racoon face, nothing handsome at all” Kyuhyun questioned, eyes rolling with that bit of exasperation, tired wondering if Yesung was indeed insane. As far as he concerned the older man had lost his mind. Plus he was even scolded. He didn’t like when Yesung looked at him with those disappointed eyes. He was usually very indifferent to most things and rarely cared about things like that, but with Yesung it always affected him when the older man was unsatisfied with him. He had an unnatural need to want to please the older man, that it was sometimes scary. He ensured that he called Kangin hyung for his sake, rewarded with a smile for his good behaviour, but that didn’t mean he had changed his mind. Yesung really had to be messing with him. There was no way Kangin was more handsome than he was. Alright, he knew that people had different opinions but Come on! He was Kyuhyun. There was no way that racoon even came close to him. It was just inconceivable really.

 It was really starting to grate on his nerves how Yesung had somehow seemed to list all the people closest to him without naming Kyuhyun. He knew that Kangin and Yesung were close, same aged friends that had a shared history. Kangin was the one Yesung confided in, the one that held his secrets. It was one of the things Kyuhyun would willingly admit to being jealous of, jealous that Kangin and Yesung were so close in age that Yesung never thought he had to protect him from pain, that he was willing to share his sometimes painful thoughts with. Kyuhyun didn’t have that luxury. With him Yesung was single minded in protecting him, refusing to let Kyuhyun too close to anything that hurt his mind, afraid that it would hurt Kyuhyun as well. Kyuhyun appreciated the care but he really wished Yesung would let him protect him for a change. He had been working on it steadily, happy that each day they were closer, Yesung more willing to let him in. He was happy that they were improving but he was still jealous of the closeness that Kangin naturally had. Yesung really had too many close dongsaeng! Kyuhyun was annoyed now.

“He is very handsome actually. You are just jealous. I wonder who is next though? Teukie hyung probably. He has those beautiful dimples or maybe Sungmin ah? He has such smooth skin. What do you think? It is Teukie hyung or Sungmin ah?” Yesung inquired laughing hard now, tired of holding back the action, head rocking back in pure mirth, when he had finally played with Kyuhyun enough, dying from trying to hold back that much laughter, a real effort, especially given Kyuhyun’s continued descent into frustration, his face forming a pout after Yesung's last pronouncement, too adorable to even continue. He more than had his fun and he could now identify a very biased ranking list. He could conclude that he had just spent the last 15 minutes very wisely, his breath coming out in grasp as he laughed his head off, his body falling to the side, the sound escaping loud and melodious or poisonous if you were Kyuhyun, who was looking at him with mouth agape, making Yesung laugh even more, hands reaching up to wipe a stray tear, his face turning red from his laughter, his heart rate increasing rapidly.

He thought it quite weird that Kyuhyun had not figured out that he was messing with him until then, chalking up to his frustrations and perhaps anger. Kyuhyun got rather single minded sometimes and could miss things like that if he was provoked enough, and Yesung dare say, that he had indeed provoked the younger man to a frightful level, lucky that Kyuhyun was not trying to strangle him, his mirth preventing him doing much else than laughing, watching with hooded eyes as Kyuhyun finally worked his way through the confusion, his face turning into a glower, eyes firm and mad and Yesung supposed then was the time to be afraid for his life, yet somehow confident that he would be alright. By that time in their relationship, he was aware that Kyuhyun was generally way more bark than he was bite, especially when it concerned him. Plus he had developed some skill in avoiding Kyuhyun’s anger, though he didn’t think he had the time or the current fortitude to smother Kyuhyun in kisses, until he forgot that he was mad. Things like that took a lot of him, the shyness being hard to overcome and it was always dangerous to tease Kyuhyun, especially when the younger held on and refused to let go. That would take a lot of aegyo from him and really, he didn’t have the time for that or the confidence to get it done in his current state. He only had to hope that he could hold off Kyuhyun till he left and rely on the younger’s increased affection in his absence to make him merciful. He was on thin ice really, yet he couldn’t stop laughing.

“You bastard! You were teasing me all this time? I am gonna kill you” Kyuhyun stormed, his voice loud and tainted with a bit of anger, though Yesung could tell he was more in shock than anything else, Kyuhyun lunging for him, tackling him at the waist, trying to kill him with his pokes, Kyuhyun glaring at him, whilst he batted his hands away, Kyuhyun being rather relentless, holding Yesung or rather trying to hold on to him, the older man strategically moving out the way from his hands, smacking his hands away from him, laughing hard, breathing his name in that voice that drove Kyuhyun crazy for unknown, suspected impure reasons, Kyuhyun’s face red from anger, frustration and embarrassment.

Kyuhyun couldn’t believe oblivious Yesung was that sly and he couldn’t believe he was such an idiot to fall for it. He was mad, he was fuming, he was murderous, but most of it was directed at him rather than Yesung. He couldn’t be mad at Yesung, not really expecting much else from the man in all honesty. Yesung really only had an innocent face. Kyuhyun would have had to be completely ineffective if he did not realized by now that Yesung was a sadistic bastard that took sick erse joy from torturing  him. He would have to be a fool not to know that those shy smiles and innocent eyes hid a mastermind, a teasing monster that was never afraid to fiddle with Kyuhyun’s heartstrings, to play with him as if he was a puppet. Yesung had always been a playful teasing bastard and Kyuhyun often or not loved him for it. He loved that the older man was capable of teasing him, of making him descend into craziness, to make him lose his mind, to make him feel so much he thought he would burst. Who knows? Maybe Kyuhyun was the sick sadistic one, the one that took pleasure in being wielded and bended. 

He didn’t blame Yesung for taking the opportunity to tease. In all honesty he would have done the exact same thing if he had the option to do it. It was just who they were, what they expected of each other. Yesung did what he would have expected, what he would have done. He couldn’t be mad at him, just mad that it was so very effective. He would still kill him, just for his suffering; for the torture that he had to endure. Yesung had to be strangled and tormented. Then he would give himself a good kick in the for being such an oblivious idiot. How on earth could he fall for something like that? Worse, how could he let it happen for so long? Being with Yesung was definitely making him weak. He was so worried about hurting the older man that he didn’t think about anything else? He wondered for a second if he would ever think anything else, but supposed that as long as he with Yesung he would always put the older man’s feeling first. Yesung was most precious to him and that wouldn’t change anytime soon, if ever. He reckoned that it was an acceptable trade. He lost some of his sensibilities, yet got to drown in endless warmth and swim in a coffee/cinnamon scented sea of affection. He could live with that, he really could. What he couldn’t live with however, was being taken for a fool, which Yesung had just done. He was an idiot to fall for it, have no doubt about that, but Yesung took advantage of him, the sly demon. Kyuhyun was nearly proud. He was starting to run off on him, how cute!

“Kyu ah…Kyuhyun ah…Stop….You are hurting me…Stop Kyu ah…it hurts” Yesung breathed, his voice laboured and pained, whining and grimacing, tired from batting Kyuhyun’s offending hand away, his words breathy and near gasps. Kyuhyun froze instantly, the sound like a knife through his heart. He never wanted to hear things like that from Yesung's lips. It was not the usual pleads for mercy, his voice not tainted with amusement, Kyuhyun unsure what to make of his tone. It was much too breathy and lost for him to make any real distinction, taking the immediate precautions. He would rather pull away then, than to stupidly cause Yesung actual pain. He wanted to torture him, mild pokes that were meant to make him laugh until he was breathless, never to intentionally cause him actually pain.

Kyuhyun reacted as if burned by Yesung's words, pulling his hands off the older man’s side in a rage, retracting in haste, pulling his weight that he was using to try and subdue him, quickly off the older man, sitting his body upright, stretching a hand outwards to pull Yesung back onto a sitting position, the older man not shying away from his touch, so that was a good thing. Yesung taking deep breathes the laugher still bubbling from his throat, Kyuhyun not sure if it was the remnants of his poking or relief the older man chose to express with laughter. He would however soon realize that it was none of those things, when Yesung finally looked at him, his eyes bright with amusement, Kyuhyun could literally face palm.

“Can’t believe you fell for that. You are really gullible these days BabyKyu” Yesung teased with a snug expression, smile bright and lively, turning into a laugh when Kyuhyun’s face darkened once again, laughing with pure joy at the younger’s predicament, his voice straining from the laughing, the amusement going straight to his heart. He was thoroughly enjoying teasing the younger. When he had complained he had exactly that intention. He knew Kyuhyun would pull back instantly if he said he was hurting him, the younger was just sweet and caring that way. He really shouldn’t have taken advantage of that, but he just wanted to play with Kyuhyun and he thought it would be fun. The hard part was getting the amusement out of his voice.

It was going to be hard to fool Kyuhyun. The younger knew him quite well and as such it would easy for Kyuhyun to read him and know that he was not in exceptional pain. Kyuhyun, no matter how mad or vengeful he was, all took care to be gentle with him. He never hurt him excessively, outside of the discomfort created by the pokes and the laughter that they would cause. He was careful to take care of him otherwise and it was something that he loved about the maknae. It always warmed his heart, to see the care that Kyuhyun extended to him. He would always be grateful to the maknae for the affection and tender care. He didn’t think he would ever truly deserve Kyuhyun’s love but he knew he sure as hell, was going to try and match it. He was always willing to break those mental rules, just so that Kyuhyun would always know that he loved him. He would chastise himself later for slipping, for getting too close, but Kyuhyun deserved to know that someone loved him that much. He would probably regret it, but he would do so with a pleased heart, a treasured memory of a better day. He tried his best to keep his voice pained and used the words that he knew would affect Kyuhyun the most. It was a resounding success, Kyuhyun pulling away in a rush, Yesung thrilled that he was able to get another one over on Kyuhyun. He would never let him live it down he promised. It was a good feeling, made better my Kyuhyun’s pouty face. He was just so adorable.

“You real want to me to kill you don’t do?” Kyuhyun questioned, face firm, eyes glaring at Yesung, who was now making pouty faces had him, trying no doubt to enchant Kyuhyun, to make him forget that Yesung was a demon that needed to be slain, to be taught a lesson. Kyuhyun was determined not to fall for it this time.

Yesung had been repeatedly playing  him for a fool. Not just the regular everyday fools but the type that was manipulated and tricked three times in the space of two minutes. Kyuhyun was many things but he was no fool…or rather he wasn’t until he had the brilliant idea of falling in love with Super Junior’s resident walking contradiction. He swears he would never truly understand the man. Half the time he was oblivious and gullible, easy to tease and manipulate, then he was teasing and dangerous, sly and merciless, playful and demonic. He would never be able to follow the man’s moods either. In the space of moments he could be everything and nothing, bubbly and talkative, quite and pensive. Kyuhyun had to be crazy to love him, but he thinks it would have been just idiotic not to love him. He would live his whole life learning to understand Yesung and he still thinks he probably wouldn’t ever be able to comprehend him. It was a scary thought, but at the same time compelling and thrilling. He could see many instances in his future where he would be torn between strangling Yesung for throwing him curve balls or holding him in his arms and covering him in kisses for being his normal infuriating adorable self. He was torn then as well. He would have loved to torture him for his teasing but he was just so adorable batting his eyelashes at Kyuhyun. No! He was not going to fall for it. It was clearly a trick. He would kill him…with kisses more than anything really. He was just about to pounce on the older man when he was interrupted, rudely at that in Kyuhyun’s opinion.

“ Yah! Cho Kyuhyun! What do you think you are going to my Yesungie hyung?” Donghae questioned with suspicion and reprimand, walking into the living room, eyeing Kyuhyun rather fiercely, the youngest of the three halting in his actions. Donghae walked in the door to the sound of Yesung begging Kyuhyun to stop hurting him. He thought he saw a flash of red in his eyes then, his good mood vanishing, pulling off his shoes in a rush, depositing it in a heap at the door, trying to get to his Hyung as fast as possible. He knew that Kyuhyun loved Yesung a lot and could see no reason for him to want to hurt Yesung, yet in that second, only he could process was Yesung's soft voice begging Kyuhyun to stop hurting him. It was faint at first. He didn’t hear it when he entered the walk way, but it reached his ears as soon as he reached down to pull his sneakers free. He thought he was hearing things at first, then he heard Yesung say Kyuhyun’s name and he thought he lost it.

 Yesung was someone very precious to him. The idea of something or someone hurting him was enough to make him lose his mind. He fully intended to deck Kyuhyun the second he saw him, already planning how he would explain why he did it to Teukie hyung, wanting only to protect Yesung. He didn’t even consider that Kyuhyun could be innocent. As far as he was concerned, Kyuhyun was always the demon that stole his hyung away from them. At is not to say that he was against the relationship or anything like that, it was simply that Yesung was precious and he knew Kyuhyun could take things a little too far. Even if Kyuhyun loved Yesung, he couldn’t let him hurt him. Who knows, Kyuhyun could be doing it unintentional. When he entered the room however, his panic faded a little, eyes darting around quickly to rest on his hyung, heart slowing finally when he saw him in one piece, no tears in sight, no physical injury that he could detect, lips pulled into a pouty thing, looking rather adorable. He was finally able to calm his mind and his heart, releasing a relieved breath when he saw Yesung in one safe piece.

Just as he was going to make his presence known he saw Kyuhyun lung at Yesung. There was no way he could let that slide. What if Kyuhyun hurt Yesung? Couldn’t the maknae tell that he was bigger than Yesung? What if he hurt Yesung's back? Kyuhyun may have been intending to play with Yesung but it was still dangerous for him to do something like that. He clearly had to intervene. Heads turning in his direction once his voice reached their ears, one scowling, the other smiling.

“Hae ah, thank God you are here. Kyunnie wants to kill me” Yesung complained cutely, stretching his hands out to beckon his jjokeumani towards him, smiling at the younger man with a smile that could blind them, cheeks flushed and eyes wide, the picture of innocence, Donghae willing to swear that his hyung was an angel from the heavens, Kyuhyun just rolling his eyes, clearly having no appreciation of such innocence, or so Donghae thought. He made quick steps to the older man, glaring at Kyuhyun as he passed, gaze forced on the hand that Kyuhyun had touching Yesung's waist, put their when he tried to grab him, Donghae wanting it removed immediately, keeping his eyes on it until he was by Yesung's side, the older man pulling him down onto the couch, wrapping his arms around him, resting his head on Donghae’s shoulder, turning around to tease Kyuhyun who only rolled his eyes in response. Donghae used that as an opportunity to pry Kyuhyun’s hand away, wrapping his hand around Yesung, holding the older man close in his arms, Yesung smiling at him, petting his hair.

“Leave Yesungie hyung alone Kyuhyun ah” Donghae warned, even if he knew he was missing something, especially with Kyuhyun either glaring at Yesung's back or rolling his eyes each time Yesung smiled at him. By now he figured that they were playing with each other, Kyuhyun though clearly on the losing end, judging by his bitter expression and his frustrated grabbing at his hair, when he was not glaring at Yesung, who was currently just smirking at him. Donghae supposed that he should not get involved, but Yesung was the one that wanted his support, still resting his head on Donghae’s shoulder and he could see no reason to deny him. It selfishly made him feel special. Yesung never asked for anyone’s protection but he was asking him to help him, even if it was a game.  Donghae was more than happy to help his hyung out, especially if it was to annoying the snarky maknae that often tormented them all.

“ I am going to make you suffer….just wait” Kyuhyun threatened, already planning ways in which he could make Yesung suffer, extended to include retribution for acting cute with Donghae. Yesung was deliberately clinging to Donghae to make his blood boil. He didn’t know how he refrained from ripping Yesung away from Donghae’s arm and strangling him for continuously torturing him. He didn’t know if Yesung truly understood the extent to which his actions had on Kyuhyun, yet he could still conceivably hold him responsible for using Donghae as a shield to avoid the punishment that he knew he deserved. If those crimes weren’t brazen enough, Yesung had been acting beyond adorable with Donghae, smiling brighter than the sun.

Kyuhyun thought he deserved punishment for that alone if nothing else. How could he act cute with someone that was not Kyuhyun? Didn’t he know that he was never supposed to smile that way to anyone but Kyuhyun? His hand was aching to reach for him, to either strangle him for his predicament or just return him to his right place in his arms. Kyuhyun strongly suspected that it was more than likely the latter. Yesung was in the wrong place. All he could do then however was threaten weakly; no doubt Donghae would not let him get close to the older man at all. Donghae was smaller than he was and very innocent and child like, but those things disappeared when he thought someone or something he loved was threatened. It was more than likely best not to provoke him. Kyuhyun back to rolling his eyes, this time at the two men chatting beside him, Yesung still resting his head on Donghae’s shoulder, back turned to Kyuhyun, Hae’s arms wrapped around Yesung's shoulder, head bent as they whispered, giggling a bit now and then. Kyuhyun could phantom a guess what they were discussing, hearing his name now and then, concluding that Yesung was filling Donghae in on why Kyuhyun wanted to kill him. He wondered if those two clowns had realized that they were ignoring him, the supposed danger in the situation? Really…what was he going to do with Yesung?

“My jjokeumani wouldn’t let you kill me anyway” Yesung rejoined, turning his head placed on Donghae’s shoulder to look at him when he finally decided to give a response, smiling in that mischievous way that Kyuhyun had come to realize was actually there for most of their short meeting. Kyuhyun didn’t know how he didn’t see it before. It was very prominent when he smiled at Donghae was when the younger affirmed the promise to protect him, Yesung cooing at the fishy faced boy, Kyuhyun left to grumble that he could do it either way, Yesung just smiling patronizingly at him before sticking out his tongue at him, Kyuhyun wanting to kill him once more, instead settling for a not so appropriate gesture, that he immediately regretted, Yesung's eyes losing that playful tinge, becoming a little more serious, Kyuhyun looking away to avoid Yesung's eyes.

“That is being rude Kyu ah” Yesung scolded mildly, his voice carrying that disappointed tinge that Kyuhyun did not like one bit. Kyuhyun feeling slightly chastised, smiled at him sheepishly, Yesung understanding that to be his form of apology. Yesung was weird that way. He could be really tolerant and then very militant about certain things. He rarely appreciated Kyuhyun using derogatory gestures, even if he was a little more forgiving if Kyuhyun said less than polite words, being more indifferent in that regard. Kyuhyun was happy to see the playfulness return to Yesung’s eyes, smiling warmly at Kyuhyun as Donghae told him that is was good for him, always being so rude. He mainly ignored Donghae, but that was out of pure spite.

“You are lucky I didn’t make the list based on charms alone. Then you would have been dead last” Yesung commented, the tension leaving the air as he laughed boundlessly, his eyes disappearing , his voice bubbly and happy, this time Kyuhyun laughing along with him, Donghae long ago joining Yesung in his laughing spree. Kyuhyun couldn’t resist this time. It was hard to hold back the laughter when Yesung started this time, having to accept that maybe Yesung would be right on that point. He was sometimes lacking in charms, but there was no way he was completely lacking to be termed last. He was a charming person. Yesung could ask anyone and they would say the same thing but Kyuhyun chose not to argue then, just wanting to settle in the moment, to let Yesung's laugh fill the air.

In the midst of his laughter, Yesung reached for Kyuhyun’s hand, lacing their fingers together, looking him in the eyes with sincerity, smiling at him with his eyes, Kyuhyun feeling better instantly. It was not an apology or an indicator that he was wrong. It was not him asking Kyuhyun to spare him or to forgive him, but simply saying that he loved him. It was never something that they agreed on or planned to occur, but Kyuhyun always knew what it meant. It was brush of fingers, held the right way. No matter what situation they were in it always meant the same thing, conveyed the same message- ~I love you, thanks for staying at my side~. It never had to be said, yet it was always understood. Kyuhyun squeezed the fingers in his in very much the same way, replying in kind ~ I know. I love you too~. Yesung wasn’t even looking at him anymore, he and Donghae still dying from laughter but the tightening on his index finger meant it was understood and appreciated. It was in that way that they communicated, that they were able to play their little games, to not be burdened unnecessarily. They were in love and that was all that mattered.

“Are you all alright? You all were laughing so loud that I couldn’t read my magazine” Ryeowook interrupted their laugh riot, watching them with curious eyes, his face slightly annoyed that his reading had been interrupted by their loud laughter. At first he just ignored Yesung and Kyuhyun but with Donghae, it became louder, now very distinguishable in the kitchen where he was sitting. He would have just left them but it had been going on for a while and he felt oddly out of the loop. Why were they all laughing so hard? Even Kyuhyun was laughing with mirth, seemingly happy about something. What had he missed? They were still laughing. Ryeowook looked on with a small pout at being left out.

“I am sorry Wookie. We shouldn’t have disturbed you” Yesung apologized when he could speak, his laughter dying down to smile at Ryeowook apologetically, Ryeowook immediately shaking his head to indicate that it was not necessary, He didn’t want an apology, he just wanted to know what they were up to, the others sobbing as well, Donghae wiping tears from his eyes, his face red from the effort, hitting his chest to ease his heart rate a little, smiling up at Ryeowook as his form of apology, Kyuhyun just grunted as he cleared his throat, Ryeowook not exactly expecting much else. They all looked happy. He wondered why.

 He was about to ask when Yesung's phone broke the silence, playing a song from their recent album, Yesung looking at him with a smile before he reached into his pocket to pull out the device. He placed the phone to his ear and greeted, the others waiting politely for him to finish. After an exclamation and a few quick yeses he disconnected. In haste he pulled himself out of Donghae’s loose hold and stood up. He then reached down and across and smacked Kyuhyun soundly on the chest.

“You made me late, you brat!” Yesung commented as he withdrew his hand, smiling at Kyuhyun affectionate, turning to do the same to the others. His brother had called him to ask him where the hell he was. Apparently he was waiting on him and he was supposed to be there ten minutes ago. He had clearly lost tracked of time while he was playing with Kyuhyun. He didn’t know why he was so distracted but he was and now his brother was yelling at him. He blamed Kyuhyun really. He was the one that came and distracted him.

“Sorry Wookie I have to go. I will see you guys tomorrow. Kyuhyun ah you better not do anything to Hae ah” Yesung instructed as he looked for his shoulder bag that he had somewhere around there, smiling when he remembered he left it on the other side of the couch, near Donghae. He grabbed it quickly, patting Donghae on the head, pulling his fingers through the soft strands as his gesture goodbye, Donghae nodding at him with a sweet innocent smile. He was going to approach Kyuhyun as well, but the younger was already standing, indicating that he would walk him to the door, Yesung nodding his head, instead turning his head Ryeowook instead, waving at the eternal maknae cutely, Ryeowook smiling at him fondly as he reminded him not to miss meals and to actually get some sleep, Yesung smiling gratefully at the younger that always seemed to want to take care of him. He agreed that he would try his best, Ryeowook insisting that there was no try, just that he do it, Donghae also joining the prodding, he promising that he would.

As he turned to leave the room, Kyuhyun fell in step beside, both Ryeowook and Donghae calling one last final goodbye, Yesung twisting to wave at his jjokeumani one last time, a smile in place. Kyuhyun turning in to him, ready to speak as they made the short trek to the door.

“This isn’t over you know. I really am going to make you suffer” Kyuhyun spoke evenly, voice calm and leading, looking at Yesung with lifted eyebrows and a forced glare. Kyuhyun was just putting him on notice really. It was the honourable thing to do. He was quite taken with Yesung and after their little laugh session his annoyance had subsided quite considerably to be honest, not feeling as aggrieved as before. He was aware that he probably didn’t have the capabilities to hurt him very much, but he still had to atleast put the fear of retribution into him. Whilst he was away Kyuhyun would either recover his lost backbone or grow a new one so that he would be able to punish Yesung appropriately. He would endeavour to make him suffer, he really would. He would think hard about an appropriate form of punishment. Even if the part of him that was beyond smitten was begging for a respite to be granted, he had to be strong. If he permitted Yesung to continuously avoid punishment for his actions, he would continue to tease Kyuhyun mercilessly. Kyuhyun was setting bad precedent. He needed to remind Yesung that he was the scary one, that he should be the one he had to be careful with, that he did revenge with finesse. He had a reputation to protect after all. The love business was killing him.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less” Yesung chuckled, affirming that he was well aware that Kyuhyun was going to kill him if he was merciful or he would decide that he wanted to see Yesung squirm and suffer. Yesung knew there was a risk with playing with Kyuhyun. There was no way his actions would go un-avenged, yet he couldn’t seem to build the requisite regret. He would do it again honestly and he looked forward to determining the way Kyuhyun would make him suffer. He was starting to think he had some weird habits. He was positive that he liked when Kyuhyun tried to make him suffer. Love was a dangerous thing he decided.

“Don’t even think about acting cute then. It won’t work” Kyuhyun warned, rather concerned that Yesung did not seem to be very concerned that he had just threatened to make his feel his wrath. He had definitely gone soft, but worse, Yesung was apparently aware that he was much reduced and susceptible to him. That was something that he couldn’t tolerate. It had to make it clear that he was not going to fall for Yesung's antics. He would do whatever it took to stay strong even if that meant not even looking at him. He was very serious! Yesung better understand that he was in trouble.

“I wouldn’t even dare”  a wink and a chuckle “I am serious about Donghae. Leave him alone or I won’t be happy” Yesung demanded as he bent to put on his shoes, lifting his head to look at Kyuhyun with fierce protective eyes, face having no amusement, his fingers pulling on the black combat boots. Kyuhyun just nodded dumbly, that bit of fear snaking up his spine. Yesung was downright scary sometimes. Kyuhyun knew with the look in his eye that he had better follow orders, another part of his mind marvelling at Yesung's ability to inflict fear, even into someone like Kyuhyun, with a simple look. Now that was how you did scary! Kyuhyun was actually in awe of him. He really needed to learn to do that. The others were all afraid of him when he looked like that. The transformation he made it was actually quite miraculous. Kyuhyun wondered if he would ever be able to do that. He was pretty scary to the others but he was really ineffective when it came to Yesung. He had to acquiesce then, Donghae would live another day.

“You are too cute. I will see you when I can alright. Get some sleep, you look tired” Yesung instructed, once again transforming in a flash, his face no longer cold as ice, instead warm and sweet, the action nearly causing Kyuhyun’s heart to jump out of his chest. He had no idea how Yesung did that. One minute he was black aura and ice, next he was warmth and sunshine, smile affectionate and sweet, lifting himself up, his hands reaching up to caress Kyuhyun’s cheek, waiting for the younger to respond.

“I will” Kyuhyun confirmed minimally, still trying to figure out how Yesung was so skilled, deciding that he was just going to chalk it up to Yesung being Yesung and leave it at that, plus the warmth on his cheeks was all he could focus on then, smiling at Yesung in gratitude for his care.

Yesung smiled at him one more time with that smile that made Kyuhyun think the world was perfect, patted his cheeks one more time with his soft warm fingers before pulling then away, Kyuhyun restraining himself from reaching upwards and pulling them back into their place, his eyes going slightly wide when a red cheeked Yesung pecked him on the lips, a barely there shy brush, but one that was done in the open, even if they were concealed, his lips tingling from the ghosting touch, his own cheeks colouring with shyness, Yesung smiling at him in the way only he can, his cheeks still red, waving at him before he turned an exited the dorm, the door slamming jerking Kyuhyun out of his Yesung induced daze, smiling to him like an idiot, as he walked back into the living room to retrieve his things.

“Your face will split if you continue. You are so love sick now, it isn’t even funny” Donghae commented when Kyuhyun finally strolled into the living room, his face in a foolish smile, clearly happy. Donghae felt happy for him honestly. He knew that Yesung was rather busy right then and it was difficult for them to see each other. It was nice that they both got to spend a little time together, even if it was short. Donghae didn’t like to think how hard it must be for them sometimes, instead he rather think about how happy they seemed to be despite whatever difficulties they had. Kyuhyun was always very happy, still a brat, but a happy one. Donghae was glad that Yesung could have that effect on their maknae and thrilled that Kyuhyun despite his sometimes insensitivity did a pretty good job of making Yesung happy. Donghae was grateful for that. It was also good that Kyuhyun’s lovelorn state provide many teasing opportunities to be honest.

“Just be thankful I am letting you live. He wouldn’t be around all the time to protect you. Sooner or later I will deal with you” Kyuhyun promised with a demonic smirk, his face contouring into erse glee, Donghae could just see picture his mind working on elaborate schemes to torture him. Donghae gulped. Kyuhyun was right. Yesung was very busy these days. He wouldn’t always be there to restrain Kyuhyun and despite what it may seem sometimes, Kyuhyun was more than capable of holding his own against Kyuhyun. Donghae wondered if he went too far. He tried to calm himself though. With Yesung around, Kyuhyun wouldn’t dare kill him…would he? Donghae was afraid.

“I will tell Yesungie hyung on you” Donghae spoke, the fear colouring his voice, trying to let Kyuhyun know that he was not worried, even if he was. Yesung would protect him. He was his jjokkeumani after all. Yesung would help him, he was sure.

Kyuhyun just laughed, that demonic laugh that spoke of bad things to come, grabbed his bag and walked away from Donghae, heading to his room to finally get that bit of sleep, Donghae left in the living room with a racing heart and a worried mind. Kyuhyun was dangerous and he just realized that Yesung would probably not be there for the rest of the day. He gulped one more time, reaching for his phone, holding it close. He would just call Yesung. He was sure his hyung would protect him. As a precaution though he would avoid Kyuhyun for the rest of the day, hastily grabbing his things, calling to Wookie that he was leaving, fully intending to hide out in the higher dorms until Yesung returned. Kyuhyun was scary he decided, and Yesung was insane. He would just go and stay with Leeteuk, flipping open his phone, sending little heart signs to Yesung, relying on the older man to tame his lion.

Author’s Notes:

1. I lied. It is not 19 K, but instead 21, 240. After I posted the forward I changed the ending. I even had to delete scenes to finish this.
2. This is also the surprise I was talking about. It was supposed to be a short drabble, but hey 21K isn’t that bad for a drabble. It was supposed to be just a little joking around but turned into an angsty ball in the middle. Glad I was finally able to address why Yesung seems a little distant sometimes.
3. The views expressed are not mine personally. I listed them in the order that I thought would affect Kyuhyun the most based on the most popular Yesung ships or the ones he has stated that he is closest too. I am sure my list would be different.
4. Timeline would be a little off I think, but it should flow generally correctly.
5. I have two more stories that I intend to finish this week. Hopefully I will be able to finish them. Please convince me that it is better to publish them than to keep them sorted on my laptop.

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