(Onew’s p.o.v)

I stood in front of the dining table after Taemin and Key both slammed the doors shut on my face, not comprehending what just happened. What the hell was wrong with Key? Why was he all up and against me all of a sudden? Nothing made sense.

Key was not one of those people who would bully anyone without a reason, specially not someone who he had known for as long as he had known me and on top of that we had always been in fairly friendly terms. I would go as far as to say that I was probably one of his favourite hyungs. No matter how diva-ish he acted in front of everyone else, people close to him, like me knew that it took him long to open himself up to anyone and he did so with me. He trusted me with all his insecurities and his fears, all his troubles and all his secrets. So, I could not make myself believe that the same Key who looked for me whenever he was down would behave that way with me. It just did not make sense. I must have done something really bad. Now I just have to realize what it was that I was supposed to have done, what was I supposed to get a clue about?

‘Hyung, can I talk to you for a minute?’ A soothing warmth, wrapped around my elbow pulled me out of my bewildered trance. I looked down to find a set of sturdy fingers tugging on me and even before I looked up I knew it had to be Jjong. What did he want to talk about? Don’t tell me that he was gonna snap at me too? Oh God, what sort of a leader was I, not being able keep them satisfied, being the source of their troubles. I looked down at the floor and nodded, letting myself be guided to my own room.

Jonghyun sat me down on the bed and sat next to me. The minute I saw the bed, my train of thoughts has left to reminisce about how I had slept there with Taemin a few hours before, him wrapped around me. His scent still lingered there and Jonghyun’s dino smell was trying to overpower it and I hated him for it. I had a sudden urge to just push him outside but that would be really rude and what was I gonna explain anyway? I could not just tell him that he was interfering with my pedo desires now could I! So, I just sat there next to him, doing the next best thing, frowning.

‘Hyung, I don’t know how to say this…’ His voice sounded unsure. Well that was surely something new! Jonghyun, the Shinee member famous for exuding confidence in everything he did and said was unsure for the first time in his life! Whatever he was about to say must really be very important and confusing. My leader instincts kicked in and I placed my hand on his, urging him to get it over and done with. He looked at my eyes, searching something and cautiously said,

‘Hyung, can I ask you a personal question? I really need to do this, for all of yours sake…you, Taemin and most importantly….Kibum.’

‘You don’t have to ask me that…I mean…Just ask me anything. I would try to answer it as truthfully as I can..’ What was he going to ask me? And what did he mean that it was for the three of us? So, Jonghyun knew what Key was talking about? I stared at him, eagerly waiting for his question, eagerly waiting to understand this whole situation. He fidgeted a bit before opening his mouth.

‘Do..Do you like anyone hyung?’

I was dumbfounded by his question. How the hell could that have anything to do with the incident during dinner? What the hell was he even thinking about? If I didn’t know better, I would think that Jonghyun liked me or something. Oh my God, that wasn’t it, was it? No, it couldn’t be! But it made perfectly sense. Kibum’s cold shoulders, his glaring, and all those snide comments he was throwing my way…It made perfect sense now. So, that was it! Kibum hated me because the one he loved was crushing on me? But why the hell would Jonghyun like me like that? It could not be right. And what would Taemin have to do with any of this?

‘Hyung, stop spacing out! Just answer me.’ He sounded impatient and it scared the hell out of me even more. God, it seemed that my assumption might have been right! Should I just confront him and tell him that I didn’t like him? But then again wouldn’t it be too cruel to reject him? What would happen to Shinee? I liked Taemin though….yeah there you go, I finally admitted it. I like the maknae and I could not even think about being with Jonghyun or anyone else. I should just come straight out and reject him. Yes, that’s what I should do. I squeezed his hand to give him strength.

‘Jonghyun-ah, I’m sorry but I do like someone and I can’t like you back…you’re one of my favourite dongsaengs...I love you but not like that….sorry….’

‘WHAT? What the hell are you talking about hyung?’

I quickly recoiled back from his sudden risen tone. He sounded so mad and maybe he was trying to deny the fact now that I had rejected him. Poor him, he must be hurting very much. I could totally understand his pain of unrequited love though…His boisterous laughter halted my thoughts. Why was he laughing? Was he that much in shock that he completely lost it?

‘Hyung, you didn’t think…..Ahhahaha…oh God, this is too much…Ahhahaha….you actually thought…..ohohohoh….you are so cute….hahahha…so freaking oblivious….eheheheh….no wonder key’s pissed with you....’ He ruffled my hair like I was a little kid. What was he talking about? What’s with this being oblivious business again? Why was everyone saying that?

‘Jonghyun you don’t have to be embarrassed about it…I understand....’ He sobered up at my now serious voice. He scooted closer to me and took my hand on his, oh God, was he going to declare his undying love for me or something? That would be totally bipolar though. Don’t tell me that Key’s bipolar streaks had rubbed into Jonghyun too!

‘Hyung, I don’t love you…I mean I do...obviously! But not the way you’re thinking I do. It’s definitely not me who loves you, be sure of that. So, don’t go thinking strange things in your head okay?’ His eyes were still twinkling with mirth.

So he didn’t like me! That’s a relief, I sighed contently and my lips pulled into a small smile which he returned as well.

But if he didn’t like me than why did he ask me about that? Did that mean someone else liked me? Oh God, don’t tell me that Kibum likes me? That would be totally weird, the almightily diva and the forever tofu, yeah like that’s even possible! He bullied me too much for it to be true anyway! But didn’t they say that boys liked to show their love by picking on their love interest…Oh no no no no…That just couldn’t be. The umma can’t like me! I was sure that he like Jjong.

‘Oh God, Key!’ before I could stop myself, it blurted out of me. I could feel Jonghyun stiffen next to me. In a tight, restrained voice, he asked,

‘You like Kibum?’

‘What? No..No, no, you’ve got it wrong….I don’t like Key..not like that. I can’t like him like that, he’s like my umma, my best friend…I like…’ I stopped myself before I forgot the consequences and blurted my secret out. I could not do that; I could not just jeopardize everything, not that easily.

I swear I heard a sigh of relief and a murmuring, ‘Thank God!’, so, he did like Kibum…I wasn’t the only one who liked one of their team members. That almost made me feel a bit relieved but then again, Jjong and Key did not have that huge between them and more importantly, even though the diva refused to acknowledge it out loud, he actually did like the dino back. I have seen it with my own eyes. So, Key definitely did not like me. I was sure of it. I actually felt stupid for even letting my mind come to that absurd conclusion, stupid dubu!

‘Hyung, what if I told you that Key is only being nasty to you because he thinks that you are hurting his baby!’

NO FREAKING WAY!

Did they know that I liked the maknae? No wonder why Key was so mad at me; he had a very good reason. I could not blame him. What am I gonna do now? Oh my, did that mean that Taemin knew too? An image of Taemin looking at me with disgust flashed before my eyes, I couldn’t stand it. I would die if that ever happened. I tried so hard to suppress my feeling just because of that; I did not want Taemin to hate me. I should deny it. I should just pretend to be oblivious.

‘I don’t know what you are talking about Jjong.’

He shook his head.

‘God hyung, you really are impossible. You can’t be that blind right? It’s kind of obvious don’t you think? The stares, the lingering touches and the constant following around…I have seen you too, if my suspicion is right, you like him hyung....’

He knew, he knew, he knew. I was doomed, doomed, doomed.

‘Just tell him and get it over and done with hyung. I can’t stand all the tension hanging in the air anymore and it’s changing Bummie as well. He has been so restless lately....’

After that, I didn’t hear anything. What did he just say? Did he just give me permission to ask Tae out but why? It didn’t make sense. I expected scorn, I expected disgust, I expected distrust but never in a million years did I expect anyone to except my feelings. What should I do? Should I take his advice and tell the maknae? What would he say or think.

‘Hyung, think about what I said, okay? I can’t see all three of you hurting anymore. Taemin doesn’t deserve this, just tell him and get your happily ever after’ Saying that, he got up and walked away, giving a friendly pat on my shoulder before he went.

The three of us? What did he mean by that? Did that mean….could it possibly be….

I lied on my bed thinking about the possibilities and blushing like crazy. I didn’t know for how long I stayed there thinking things through. Thinking about what Jonghyun said. Maybe there was a chance for me after all; maybe Tae did feel something for me. Why else would he be hurting? Why else Jonghyun would say that I could have my ‘happily ever after?’

It had to be that, I hope it was. I prayed to all the stars the moons, all the gods, that it was true and that somehow Taemin did like me. I should totally talk to him, saying that to myself I got up and walked out of my room to meet with total and utter darkness. I must have been daydreaming for too long that everyone had gone to sleep already. I sighed at my poor fate and decided to talk to Taemin next day.

As I was about to turn around and go back to my room, I was stopped by my growling tummy. Realizing how hungry I was, well that was a given seeing how I didn’t have dinner, I tiptoes towards the dining room, hoping to find something edible that wasn’t green or leafy. Before I knew what was happening, my feet tangled with something and I came crashing down on something soft. I would recognize this smell anywhere, any day.

‘What the hell are you doing in the dark Tae?’ I pulled myself and Taemin away from the floor and again like a blind person went searching for the light switch as soon as I flicked it on, I was dumbfounded by the scene in front of me. Taemin was standing there, eyes blood shot and face tearstained but that wasn’t what got my attention. What did, were the small suitcase that was lying next to him on the floor.

‘What the hell?’

I put two and two together and realized what he was trying to do…His intention was clearly painted on his face.

‘Why?’ I could not help but cry out, forgetting that everyone else in the dorm was sleeping and maybe I should keep quiet. This could not be happening!

‘Why?’ I ran up to him and shook his shoulders, shaking his whole form in the process. ‘Answer me damn it…’

 Tears ran down his face as well as mine and she shook with his sobs. Footsteps could be heard from somewhere and the bang of a door slamming open but none of that mattered because the boy in front of me suddenly burst out crying and shouting,

‘Because I Love you hyung…and I can’t do this anymore…’ saying that he his heels and bolted, out of my sight, away from me.

I stood there stiff on my place, everything seemed to have stopped for me because he said it…he said that he loved me. Taemin loves me.

He loves me.

He loves me.

He loves me.

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Wow....he finally said it :) and Onew finally knows :D

(woah his dino mouth is so huge :O)

(I found this absolutely adorable <3)

so umm yeah...annyeong readers :)