title: because it's you
pairing: sunggyu/myungsoo
genre: romance (iguess)
rating:pg
summary: this is why sunggyu doesn't like helping others, it never ends well.
disclaimer: I just own the story, not the characters.
 

They fall asleep one day in the same bed, Myungsoo wakes up the next morning, ignore, totally discards how close they ended up being, tangled while searching for warmth and admits he’s never slept that well since last week and that’s how it kinds of starts.

Sunggyu decides to call it a mission, but it’s actually not a mission, just the ‘how to get Myungsoo tired enough to fall asleep in just some minutes after his body meets the bed.’ So Sunggyu says, he will help, and Myungsoo shrugs, why not, it’s not going to kill to try right?

He needs sleep anyways, he’s got schedules to attend and if he doesn’t rest enough he’s going to end up like Sunggyu as in having to take lots of medicines to keep up with his body and when he says that to Sunggyu, he laughs at the smack on the back of his head. 

(“that hurts”, Myungsoo whines, so Sunggyu rubs it after like he would do with Woohyun, except this is not Woohyun, this is Myungsoo and when he realizes that he finds Myungsoo’s hair really soft, and starts wanting to play with it, he quickly withdraws his hand and looks away to hide the flush rising on his face). 

“So do I get to come to your room tonight?” Myungsoo looks up from his phone and Sunggyu startles, mouth wide open, “Eh?” 

“For the mission.” Myungsoo explains, Sunggyu still looks confused, “Hyung! You’re the one who called it that way, for helping me sleep, remember? Are you okay?” 

Then Sunggyu feels like smacking himself but instead he nods, beams in understanding and feels like pinching himself but all he does is break out a series of “oh” sounds until he hears Myungsoo laugh at him and he’s not sure if he should be offended or not but he sighs because all he feels like doing is laugh along with Myungsoo. 

“Don’t laugh at me, I was thinking about something.” 

They’re sitting on the couch, legs facing each other so Myungsoo nudges him with a foot, “Are you okay? It’s alright if you don’t want to help, I’m a big boy I can find a solution by myself.” 

“Nah, I’ll help, it’s more interesting to overcome a problem with someone right?” Sunggyu locks Myungsoo’s foot with his ankles and plays with it, swinging it up and down, he thinks it’s fine, it’s just Myungsoo and pushes his earlier reaction to Myungsoo’s hair in the back of his mind as normal reaction that he’d have with just anyone. 




But ignoring it doesn’t mean it disappears. 

Myungsoo appears at the door of his room, holding a towel on his head and Sunggyu looks up from his book with a smile matching Myungsoo’s small one as he shuffles his way towards the bed. 

“Does Woohyun hyung know about this?” 

“Talked to him, he’ll share with Sungyeol.” Sunggyu answers as Myungsoo settles on Woohyun’s bed and removes the towel from his head, his hair is still damp, probably from a shower, totally from a shower, Sunggyu stares and nods to himself. 

“What were you reading?” Myungsoo reaches for the book and Sunggyu shows him the cover, “English dictionary?” Myungsoo laughs as soon as he reads it and Sunggyu sighs at him, “There’s nothing funny, this is so hard to learn!” 

“Why are you reading it then?” 

“I was bored.” Sunggyu answers quickly, even a bit too fast and regrets it because it could show that it’s not the entire truth, it’s because he was trying to get his mind off the fact that he is nervous about this. They’ve talked about this mission thingy and during the whole day he’s been shifting, squirming, restless because that means sleeping in the same bed again. 

(Or not? Or did they agree on something else? He doesn’t know, he really doesn’t get why this is bothering him so much—actually no, bothering is not the word, not really, maybe unsettling him? Yeah, more like it, it’s just Myungsoo for god sake.)

“Sunggyu hyung?” 

Sunggyu blinks back at Myungsoo’s voice, notices he’s already settled on the bed, “So when do I get to use you as my pillow?” He asks, a grin on his face that just barely stretches his face into an amused expression at Sunggyu’s sudden nervousness. 

Then Sunggyu remembers why even if it’s just Myungsoo he’s getting so flustered, it’s because the morning before he actually looked at Myungsoo and thought that he hadn’t noticed little details on his face, like the bridge of his nose being so straight and his lips not being as full as Woohyun’s but not as thin as his.

And that while Myungsoo was sleeping and he woke up before him, he’d been staring and caught staring and Myungsoo hadn’t even pointed out how close Sunggyu was to his face. Like—like, no he can’t say it, if he says it, it’s going to be true, if it’s true it’s going to, ugh—Sunggyu wants to shoot his brain honestly. 

“You,” Sunggyu clears his throat, realizing why a flashback of Myungsoo’s sleeping face is invading his mind as he looks down to see Myungsoo staring up at him, so close Sunggyu thinks he can feel his breath on his face and he has to hold his own, as if scared their breath could get mixed. 

“Let’s just sleep.” He mumbles and is baffled by the lack of words Myungsoo keeps bringing to his mouth, he’d have a lot to say usually to that remark, Myungsoo obviously thinks so too, but shrugs after Sunggyu slides under the covers and follows.

“Wait, I’ll be back.” Myungsoo says before sliding next to Sunggyu though and rushes to turn the lights off, then he has to find his way back to Sunggyu’s bed. Which results in a lot of bumping noises and Myungsoo wincing while Sunggyu laughs and sits in the bed, the dark giving him a type of control over the situation. 

If he can’t see Myungsoo’s face, he can’t think about how he wants to trace down the lines of it, from his eyebrows to his chin. 

“Do you need help?” He asks, pushing the blankets off him and already trying to find his way through the dark and he hears Myungsoo sighing and feels a hand when he’s close to him, Sunggyu holds it and then the other hand reaches for him and he holds it too, then he’s guiding Myungsoo back to the bed. 

And it’s a bit hilarious, a bit nerve wrecking, because his palms feel like they are sweating but they’re in the middle of autumn, it can’t be that hot all of a sudden, he wants to let go of Myungsoo’s hands, but instead Myungsoo squeezes. “I feel like a blind man.” He laughs behind Sunggyu who laughs along. 

The way back to the bed feels like an eternity when it just takes them four steps or five to get there and Sunggyu pushes Myungsoo forward so eh can let go of his hands, because he’s sure Myungsoo can feel them shaking by now. Sunggyu hopes he can’t hear his heart beating like he’s just ran the hardest marathon in the world.

Myungsoo slides in the bed first this time, and pushes against the wall for Sunggyu to have space to slide in too. It falls silent then, Sunggyu finds it awkward all of a sudden, he listens to Myungsoo shifts, rolls and makes Sunggyu wonders what position he’s settled in.

He’s answered with a hand blindly tapping and clutching at his shirt then tugging, “Closer hyung.” Myungsoo says softly, so softly Sunggyu thinks he’s realizing how hard it is when they are both conscious. He wonders if he shouldn’t chicken out and tell him to wait until Sunggyu falls asleep before using him as a human pillow but Myungsoo tugs on his shirt again and he gives in, swallows silently and gets closer, and closer until he’s sure he’s breathing against Myungsoo’s face because Myungsoo’s breath is tickling his chin. 

“I think it’s because you’re warm.” Myungsoo’s voice breathes against his skin, arouses a few shivers Sunggyu hopes weren’t too obvious, he can’t find it in himself to relax, but he should, because being so stiff will give it away. But Myungsoo doesn’t even seem bothered, instead he slides an arm around Sunggyu and presses so close Sunggyu can feel their legs also trying to settle in a comfortable position.

(Myungsoo ends up throwing and wrapping a leg over Sunggyu's)

“What is?” Sunggyu’s voice fills in the room, too loud compared to Myungsoo’s soft breathing, “You, that I could sleep when I was hugging you yesterday, I think it’s because you’re warm.” 

Sunggyu’s laugh gets caught in his throat and he clears it softly, his hand is suddenly occupied by Myungsoo’s head on it and the weight should bother him, but he’s got more important matters than worrying about it turning numb after awhile. 

“Then you can just get a teddy bear, they’re warm and cuddly too.” 

“I never said you were cuddly.” Sunggyu swears he can hear a smile in Myungsoo’s voice and it shouldn’t bother him as much as it does, but it does, he doesn’t even know why it does. 

(Actually he does know why, it’s because he wants to see it, but it’s too dark and he’s imagining it, and he hates the fact that he can imagine it and see it clearly without the need of lights to remind him of what Myungsoo’s smile looks like.) 

“You should sleep.” Sunggyu is surprised by how calm his voice sounds.

“I should.” Myungsoo agrees, moves his head closer and Sunggyu’s arm squirms so he can get comfortable. It should feel weird, it should feel out of place, he isn’t really one for those type of things, but Myungsoo isn’t too warm, isn’t big and not the type of Woohyun clingy with all his body but the type that squeezes tightly and softly and makes you want to squeeze back.

So it’s not his fault, if he waits until he can feel Myungsoo’s breath steady against his arm before cautiously lifting his hand that had been resting by his side, too scared to reach and slide around Myungsoo, now reaching and knowing where Myungsoo’s face was and brushing his fingers against his cheek. 

But he doesn’t rest his fingers against Myungsoo’s cheek, barely touches it, and kinds of hates himself for the little smile that appears on his face and he can’t fight away then his fingers touches something damp and it’s Myungsoo’s hair, he knows it by just brushing past it.

It’s probably not a good idea to sleep with his hair not totally dry, Sunggyu thinks and sighs softly, yawns quietly, smiles and closes his eyes.




Sunggyu wakes up to a pressure against his hip, then it flutters against his skin, tapping patterns while slipping under his shirt and it tickles him softly so he squirms and tries to get away from it, but it persists, higher and more ticklish and he chokes on a laugh when he opens his eyes to see what is troubling him. 

“Stop that.” He mumbles and the movement stops, by now he’s putting his memories back together to see what is going on. He doesn’t even need to totally open his eyes and look at Myungsoo’s smirk to remember it all and he’s ready to argue about waking him up, but it’s Myungsoo’s eyes that suddenly grow wide, then something flickers across his eyes and Sunggyu barely catches it before it’s gone.

Because it’s Myungsoo of course, and he knows how to hide his emotions, he would know, Sunggyu thinks bitterly, his skin still tingling after Myungsoo’s hand quickly withdraws itself and he scatters away like Sunggyu had been the one doing weird things to his body. 

“What?” Sunggyu asks to a Myungsoo quickly getting off the bed and brushing away invisible dust off his sides. He’s never seen Myungsoo that nervous, if that’s what it is at least, Sunggyu thinks rubbing his sleepy eyes and rolling on his stomach to look at Myungsoo standing over him with a frown still perfectly there.

It’s really striking, how even with a frown; he still manages to look good, really unfair. Sunggyu scrunches his nose and closes his eyes for just a second. Honestly, it was just a second, he’s sure of it, and that’s all it takes for him to blink them back open and have Myungsoo’s face too close, nose touching his own and leaning in.

How he got to lean in without Sunggyu noticing, he doesn’t want to know, that’s not really important. What’s important is that Sunggyu is sure he’s going to do it, whatever it is—kiss him, is he going to—it’s so close. 

Sunggyu starts to close his eyes and inhales Myungsoo’s breath, and it doesn’t smell good, not at all but what stops the moment is not that, it’s the door of the room slamming open and Woohyun’s voice echoing through the room that has Myungsoo jolting up and rushing to the door. 

“Wake up guys it’s—” Woohyun stops and watches Myungsoo quickly walk past him without a word, not that unusual then he looks back at Sunggyu who blinks quickly and burrows his face in his pillow. 

“What just happened?” He asks at Sunggyu who shakes his head, refuses to look up and grabs the other pillow, still warm from Myungsoo’s presence—or his arm and Myungsoo’s presence—and throws it at Woohyun’s face.

“Get lost!” 




Sunggyu apologizes to Woohyun during breakfast, and sticks to Woohyun all day long, clings to Woohyun so he can make sure to show that this is a normal thing he does with everyone. 

Before their interview, while waiting for the cameras to be ready, he takes a seat next to Woohyun, starts ruffling Woohyun’s hair and admits that it’s soft, as soft as Myungsoo, but Myungsoo’s softer, Myungsoo’s makes him want to let his fingers linger for a moment longer, Myungsoo is right behind Woohyun and Sunggyu glances up.

They haven’t said a word to each other since this morning, and Sunggyu has been doing all he could to avoid being alone with Myungsoo in any kind of way, and he feels kind of guilty, but Myungsoo too has been avoiding him. At least he’s sure it isn’t a one sided feeling to stay away from each other and it shouldn’t tighten his chest that it’s the case but it does. 

It shouldn’t also gets him so flustered that he accidentally grabs Woohyun’s hair too hard until Woohyun winces and pushes his hand away with a whiny, “Hyung, that hurts.” When he catches Myungsoo looking at him, but it does and he quickly lets go, apologizes once, twice or more than four times before staring right in front of him and playing with his fingers on his lap. 

He doesn’t like this sudden uneasiness that settles down in his body and even Woohyun’s presence and sudden worry that he shows by frowning and poking his arm and asking “Hyung, are you okay?” just manage to make Sunggyu more nervous, because he can’t look at Woohyun and tell him that he’s okay, that’d make him want to take a look at Myungsoo too, and just no. 

Before the interview even starts, he knows this is not going to be good. 




It didn’t go as bad as he thought it would, even if he lost conversations a few times, did all he could so he couldn’t stand next to Myungsoo (which was suspicious at one point to most of the members, but he just didn’t care at that point, anything to get this unnerving feeling away). 

He managed to avoid any type of awkward contact between him and Myungsoo until the end of the interview where they went to get their seat back after performing for awhile and he found himself sitting next to Myungsoo. Sunggyu can only thinks that this is God’s way of showing him that you can’t have everything you want, and you can’t always make things go the way you want them even if you want to.

The remaining of the interview finds him a bit startled when he’s asked questions, fidgeting when Myungsoo moves and their thighs brushes together, quickly withdrawing while clearing his throat and swearing he will get Woohyun back for this even if he isn’t aware of what he’s done by giving his place to Myungsoo. 

He hears Myungsoo laugh a few times when he’s caught off-guard and has to stutter before giving an answer, but what really makes him think “that’s it, I can’t stand this anymore.” And nearly makes him stand up from his chair and run out of the interview room is when out of nowhere he feels a weight on his shoulder and there Myungsoo’s head is resting there, with a ing smile on his face when Sunggyu looks down. 

And just—it’s a good thing Myungsoo is known for loving skinship because this is ing weird, doing this in the middle of an interview is even more ing weird, but doing this on Sunggyu is probably the weirdest thing and all the members will ask about this later and Sunggyu will have more of a reason to kill Myungsoo in the most painful way ever. 

This is what he gets for trying to help in anyway in the first place. 





“Hyung can we talk?” Myungsoo asks, grabs Sunggyu’s wrist and he gently tugs it away, “No.” 

“Why?” Myungsoo’s grip is surprisingly strong and Sunggyu stops struggling to turn around and sigh with a frown, “Because I’m avoiding you.” He blurts out just because there’s no use in lying, he’s pretty sure Myungsoo knows it by now, and he’s pretty sure Myungsoo knows why. 

“Why?” 

Sunggyu frowns and blinks away from Myungsoo, down to his feet, glad none of the members are here right now. But not glad at the same time, because they ditched him on purpose, they might think he doesn’t know, but he heard Myungsoo ask them to let them have a talk alone and damn it, they just had to agree, they will all pay for this, all of them. 

“Because.” He shrugs then feigns an annoyed sigh (or maybe he is really annoyed by this) “Just let me go,” He says and pulls on his wrist again but Myungsoo shrugs the same way he did, “I will when you tell me why you are avoiding me.”

“That didn’t seem to matter to you a week ago.” Because yes, this little game has been going on for a week and Sunggyu isn’t fond of breaking promises but every time Myungsoo asked if he could still help with his sleeping habits, he had to create a lie to get out of it and it made him end up sleeping in the living room once. 

Okay, so maybe he felt bad once—when one time he woke up and found Myungsoo sitting by the couch with his head resting on his folded arms—and he felt so bad he just covered him with the blanket he had on and hurriedly went out of the dorm for the whole day. 

“That’s because I didn’t think it would last for this long!” 

“I didn’t think it would last for this long either!” Sunggyu retorts back, because he honestly thought this—whatever this was—it was going to leave after a few days, but no, it’s stuck and he can feel it against his wrist where Myungsoo’s grip is tightening and it’s making Sunggyu’s face warm to the point where he’s sure he’s going to catch a fever at this rate. 

“At least keep your ing promises and stop making stupid lies.” 

This time, Sunggyu looks up and looks at Myungsoo, realizes he hasn’t done so in awhile and maybe he’s missed this, how his eyes can take in every single detail on Myungsoo’s face. How people say he doesn’t have any expression but Sunggyu thinks Myungsoo’s eyes say more than his face could ever tell and there’s this pang of guilt that tightens his chest when all he can read in Myungsoo’s eyes is hurt. 

Sunggyu wants to apologize, wants to say he didn’t mean to hurt Myungsoo or break his promises, he really wants him to get a better sleeping habit because he can also see bags under his eyes and he doesn’t like seeing any of the members so worn out, he doesn’t like seeing Myungsoo so worn out. 

But he can’t say the words, and he hates himself for once for being such a coward when it comes to this type of things, but he can’t ing say a thing and Myungsoo looks down this time, Sunggyu keeps his eyes on his lowered head, on the sight of Myungsoo’s bottom lip quietly tucked under his teeth before he starts to slowly let go of Sunggyu’s hand and hides his own in his jacket’s pockets. 

“Okay, okay, fine, be that way.” 

And Sunggyu thinks he should stop Myungsoo from walking past him and going in his room, probably or just walking away, like this is going to lead nowhere good if he doesn’t stop Myungsoo, but he can’t bring his legs to move so he stands there, frustrated, until he hears the slamming of a door and then he kicks off the perfectly placed shoes at the door for once and ruffles his hair roughly and knows how stupid he is so he crouches and furiously starts putting them back in orders. 

(He gives up after awhile though and tosses them away again then sits and instead of pulling his hair out, texts Dongwoo and Sungyeol and asks them if they can sleep in another room just for tonight.) 




Sunggyu isn’t sure about this idea anymore; maybe he should just give up on it. But Sungyeol is already sleeping on his bed and Dongwoo has the couch and just he hasn’t seen Myungsoo come out of his room all day, so maybe he’s really mad. But he doesn’t think running away from this is the best option anymore.

Myungsoo has the right to be mad though—what if he tells Sunggyu to go off? Or worse what if he ignores him? Ugh, this isn’t a good idea, Sunggyu thinks again and starts walking back but stops and sighs and clutches the blanket against his chest then returns on his steps and opens the door of the room without knocking. 

The lights are on, but there’s no sign of Myungsoo. He would have walked back if not for the sound of the shower he hears and this might be help from God either telling him to go off before he humiliates himself to death, or giving him some time to get used to the idea of having to kind of—beg for forgiveness after being a—kind of big to someone he—kinds of has a crush on.

Sunggyu let himself fall on Myungsoo’s bed and it’s soft and it smells of Myungsoo’s shampoo so he doesn’t hesitate to bury his face against the pillow and sigh against it and close his eyes and accept that it’s different with Myungsoo. Obviously, he likes all the other members too, obviously he’s closer to Woohyun than any of them and he holds a dear place for all of them even if sometimes he feels like dumping them in an empty desert.

But let’s face it, it’s not the same when it comes to Myungsoo and he doesn’t understand how it changed, when it changed, why it changed, but it did and he should face it like a man, that’s right. 

So like a man with a burning face still hidden in the pillows he’s going to stay there until Myungsoo comes out of the shower and face humiliation and tell him he likes him, also tell him that he’s sorry. Sunggyu buries his face deeper in the pillow—also maybe kiss him. 

Kissing him would be nice, warm soft and nice, Sunggyu can’t help but smile and groan at the same time because he feels stupid and gross and just stupid and a bit tired. 

(Sunggyu falls asleep after imagining many ways of telling him what he’s doing there in his room, he would fall asleep at this time of all time, is all he thinks when after the fifth yawn he knows he’s going to be gone soon.)




Sunggyu feels warm, he fell asleep warmed by Myungsoo’s bed too, but this is a different type of warmth, softer almost tender and he sighs and burrows deeper against it, it spreads evenly around his body and he knows it’s not just a cover before he even hears Myungsoo’s voice or even slowly starts blinking his eyes open. 

“Sorry.” Myungsoo says when Sunggyu opens his eyes and he pulls on one of his legs with the back of his foot, “Didn’t mean to wake you up.” Sunggyu can feel a finger against his cheek, and an arm under his head and he blinks sleepily, not really remembering all the words he prepared but manages a soft, “It’s fine.” Sleepy and all sluggish like. 

But it’s because Myungsoo is incredibly warm and Sunggyu just wants to fall asleep, but he doesn’t want to sleep right now, not before they talk for a bit at least, that’s why he came here, so he’s barely keeping his eyes open on Myungsoo’s face and eyes scrutinizing him as if looking for something, a change, maybe he thinks he’s dreaming, maybe he isn’t sure about Sunggyu being there. 

“Is it really?” Probably that he’s still not sure, Sunggyu sighs and nods. 

“Sorry too,” Sunggyu yawns and turns his face against Myungsoo’s arm, it must be Myungsoo’s because his arms and hands are between them and he moves one of his hands and pushes it against Myungsoo’s chest, “For avoiding you.” 

“That’s fine.” Myungsoo laughs softly. 

“No, I’m not done, wait, I’m not sorry for avoiding you, but that it hurt you that I avoided you, yeah, that’s more like it.” Sunggyu nods and then sighs and rolls on his back, before turning his face to look at Myungsoo, “This is complicated you know? And of all people why did I have to grow a crush on you?” 

“You’re the one saying that, I should be the one saying that.” Myungsoo retorts and that definitely makes Sunggyu less sleepy and more awake, “Wait, no, I’m the good one, I’m the best party, why would—wait you have a crush on me?” 

Then Sunggyu stops talking and looking at Myungsoo, quickly looks away biting down on his bottom lip and totally, absolutely not flushing bright red, absolutely not turning more red when Myungsoo starts laughing next to him and just. 

“Ugh, there’s nothing funny.” 

“I find this highly amusing hyung, for once that you can’t say anything.” 

Sunggyu covers his face with an arm and sighs, alright, fine he’s a total embarrassment when it comes to these kind of things anyways, it’s best to accept it and make the best out of it. 

“Whatever.”

Sunggyu breathes out, glances at Myungsoo who stopped laughing, but is still mocking Sunggyu with a grin Sunggyu huffs at and reaches a hand to cover Myungsoo’s mouth. “You’re frustrating.” But Myungsoo’s eyes don’t lose their smile and Sunggyu thinks it’s a shame that it’s so contagious and he ends up smiling and starts laughing too. 

“This is stupid.” He says while laughing and rolls on his stomach and then there’s a silence that fills the room with only the sound of the both of them breathing, and Sunggyu’s eyes stay on Myungsoo’s face and how he slowly takes Sunggyu’s hand still on his mouth and “I really like you,” Sunggyu doesn’t think at first that it’s from his mouth that it comes out, but it’s from his mouth and he closes his eyes when he realizes so. 

Sunggyu thinks he’s been waiting for this for awhile, it’s not even that long, just some weeks, but it’s still a surprise when Myungsoo’s lips presses against his own and his first reaction is to open his eyes and tighten his fingers around Myungsoo’s hand then open his mouth. 

Myungsoo tugs on his hand and Sunggyu moves closer without even hesitating, “I’m tired.” He mumbles against Myungsoo’s mouth, and though they don’t stop kissing, it slows down and Sunggyu’s breath gets caught when Myungsoo his bottom lip and smiles against the corner of his mouth. 

“Let’s continue this tomorrow, first to wake up gets to pounce on the other.” Sunggyu sighs and snuggles—actually snuggles against Myungsoo contently. 

(Not surprisingly Sunggyu wakes up before Myungsoo, but loses the confidence to pounce on him because he stays staring at Myungsoo’s face for far too long and ends up waking Myungsoo when he tries to run out of the bed and gets yanked back on the bed. 

“I’ll do the pouncing.” Myungsoo says, starts kissing Sunggyu and ignores his protestations about stinking morning breath.)

---