"I need to tell you something very important," he said that night. He had called me from my room just before midnight. His expression was without its usual playfulness, his eyes serious and filled with sincerity.

"Why just me?"

"Just come." He grabbed onto to my wrist as he had done on many occasions, but I could feel the urgency in his touch. He pulled me through hallways and up stairs, his hands growing damp from holding on too long. He was taking me to the roof.

The night was chilly and our breath could be seen as it left our mouths and noses. He let go of my wrist and slowly walked to the edge of the roof, looking out over the city, lights making strange shadows at his face. When he turned to finally look at me, I could see he was a mess of emotions, half of them had no names to identify them with. At the front, was desperation.

He motioned me to come closer, which I did so obligingly. He took my hands into his own and pulled me close enough to feel his body's warmth as it traveled into the atmosphere. He laced his fingers between my own, eyes painted the colors of the city lights locked onto my own. There was fear hidden behind his desperation.

I opened my mouth, a crooked smile at my lips. "Are you going to tell me what you wanted to," I said nervously, "or are we going to just stand here and freeze to death?"

He was shaking, but he let out a weak laugh. "No, I just... want to tell you, that I..." Hands tightened their grip and pulled me nearer. Before I could register anything in my brain, my lips were taken hostage by his. I let out a muffled cry and tried to wiggle myself away, but he only deepened the kiss further. My mind screamed, which turned into my vocal cords screaming. I tore my hands free from his grasp and shoved him away from me. I watched him stumble backward over the edge of the roof, his eyes wide.

He didn't fall.

I grabbed him and pulled him away from the brink, but it didn't mean that I had forgiven him. I recall throwing him to the ground and kicking him away from me. "Why would you do that?!"

"That's what I wanted to--"

"No, stop, don't you dare. Don't you even dare." I think I kicked him again. No, I distinctly remember kicking him again. I kicked him several times. He was bleeding from the hits I gave him. "I don't even know why I saved you. People like you deserve to die. I should have let you fall."

I will admit now that his eyes were gorgeous that night before I'd said those words to him. I admit that somewhere, deep down, I found him truly beautiful. Manly yet pretty. He was a combination of the two that the world will probably never find again. However, after I had let those words fall from my mouth, I wasn't greeted by those normally gorgeous eyes. Instead, his eyes looked up at me in horror, a bit of blood trickling at the side of his face. It was as though I had completely destroyed a piece of his soul.

His spirit broken, he slowly looked away from me. I was so disgusted at the time that I turned away, hurling a few more slanderous words at him before leaving the roof. As I walked, I thought to myself how cruel I had been. We were friends. What I had just done was not something friends should do. Then again, him kissing me wasn't what friends did, either.

Halfway down the stairs, I knew I needed to mend this. An apology wouldn't fix our friendship, but at least we would be back on good terms. That's what I had hoped.

When I returned to the roof, no one was there. I heard sirens at street level, their lights flashing even at the altitude that I was at. For a moment, I denied it, but curiosity got the better of me. Slowly, I stepped toward the edge of the roof and looked down.

I was cruel, and it cost him everything. I strayed from his side, and I lost him forever. That's why I'm standing here right now, at the edge of everything. I returned to where he ended. With one more step, maybe I can meet him again.

With this one step, I can be by his side again and stray no more.