Word count: 3179

The first time Wooyoung found himself in a broken heart was the moment his father disapproved of his dream. He had spent the night of crying and mending his broken heart. He was only sixteen at that time and despite the hardship he had gone through he never give up his dream.  Some time, Wooyoung would wake up at the middle of the night just to find that wasn’t just a dream but a reality. He told himself that there were worse things in life rather than being disapproved by his owned father. 

At the age of 23 he was once again found himself in a broken heart. But this time it would be different because it involves letting go someone you love. Wooyoung tried to be strong everyday despite the hurt that he felt inside his small heart. He was trying so hard to cover the pain by keeping those pains behind a cute smile and being funny. He would acts as if those things had never happened to him at all. People around him sometimes wonder if Wooyoung was actually a good actor on his own by keeping everything deep inside him or maybe he just has the ability to shove those pain away in short period of time. They don’t know. Every time they would asked him if need a break, he would just refuse. 

Constantly Wooyoung reminded himself that he was strong and nothing in this world would tear him apart. But no matter how much he had been able to act those parts he can’t run away from those pains. Those pains will always be there, lingered around him no matter and how much he tried to throw those away. He can’t stop the pain and yes maybe time would heal everything but even time would heal everything there’s some part of him that won’t be healed. He won’t be the same again.  

There were moments where he just can’t be strong. There were moments where he would crumble in his own worlds. There were moments where those pains managed to win him over. And when those moments came he would hide himself alone. He would go as far as he could go to hide his weak self from those eyes who would look up for him. He just can’t bear to see the disappointment in those eyes when he went through the moment like this. He hates to let those people saw him in a state of his vulnerability. He would rather face this moment alone and solely alone.

Wooyoung was not perfect and no matter how much he wants him to be; he was still unable shake those weaknesses in him. And this is the moment when he thinks he couldn’t do it. This is the moment when he would think he was the worse person ever live in this world. This is the moment where he would want his friends to be beside him- saying courageous words to him; telling him that he can do it and he was not worse - but that didn’t happened.

He was glad that no one was at the dorm when that moment comes. He really appreciates the ‘quiet’ times he has now. He looked around the dorm. It was silence; pure silence to the point where you can hear your own breathing. He walked in and locked the door behind him. He just came back from the “You & I” recording. He brought himself to the living room and sat at the couch. Living room once had become a part of him but not anymore. He would be more comfortable in his own room now. He missed his band mates. He missed them so much. How he wished that he was not a solo but this is the moment where he needs the most to redeem himself from the pains that had cause him so much. But still no matter how much he missed s he likes the quietness and calmness the dorm had given him.

He was so tired – too tired to eat and possibly too tired to think. How one could possibly too tired to think? Maybe it is because he had used so much energy to think and now he doesn’t want to think anymore. He looked around at saw pictures of him and s during their happier moments. He would smile when remembered those times. His eyes stopped at one particular picture of one of the members. Suddenly everything seems to be played right in front his eyes. Those things which he wants to forget the most. Tears were running down from his small eyes.  He closed his eyes tight and took a deep breath. He wiped those tears from his face and got up from the couch. He hates himself too much when this moment hit him. Is it possible to hate yourself too much? How he wish he could but he couldn’t. He left the living room to hide himself in his room; facing the moments alone and away from those staring eyes.

************************

It was Sunday. All the 2pm members except Wooyoung had no schedule on this particular day and they decided to stay at the dorm; resting. After having the afternoon meal, they were sitting in front of the television to watch something interesting. Junho who at the moment remembered Wooyoung’s ‘You and I’ episode immediately grabbed the remote from the maknae’s of the group and chose the channel which showed the program.  

“Wooyoung-shi, I heard from your managers saying that you had been single all your life?”

“Well, not exactly all my life…it just I’m coming out as a solo singer right now, as Jang Wooyoung”

The members laughed along upon watching Wooyoung’s wit response to the question.

Then the dating question keeps on,

“Then when was the last time you had a girlfriend?”

Everyone in the dorms was eager to know what Wooyoung’s response to the question as if they were there at the recording studio.

“If you go in deep like this it’ll be a bit hard for me. Let me wipe my sweat a bit first then,”

They laughed.

“But at some point, there was a time where you had one, wasn’t there?”

“Of course, you didn’t have one when you were promoting with 2pm, right?”

They were quite shocked listening to their member’s answer,

“Of course I had one, why wouldn’t I?”

Wooyoung continue,

“Of course even though I had one, it was a very rocky sort of relationship,”

In which the host replied,

“So it’s seems that your manager didn’t know about that”

“It seems so and Jinyoung hyung would be paying the most attention to me after seeing this program right now and maybe he would told me to not to meet her at all,”

The members were all looked at each other upon hearing their member’s response. They would never know that Wooyoung ever had a relationship with a girl during they were together. But they do know that Wooyoung did have a relationship with someone but not with a girl. Even their manager and JYP knew about his relationship. In fact everyone in JYP acknowledge his relationship.

“Did Wooyoung have a girl before?” Taecyeon asked Junsu who sat next to him.

Junsu shrugged his shoulder signaling he doesn’t want to answer that question - knowing that someone in particular would feel more uncomfortable in his seat at that exact second. Taecyeon who have grasped the situation keep his focused again to the black thin box in front of him.

“So in these situations the fellow brothers won’t even say a word… those three would be quiet. So right now, especially Chansung and I “Well since we’re the younger ones, of course we’ll go first” but in Junho’s case, he just realize that he’s the younger ones too. So the younger ones would tend to give up,”

Junho practically jumped from his seat and say,

“Aish Wooyoung-ah I never did that. I always know that I’m the younger ones”

The others laughed at Junho.

“Yah Junho, Wooyoung was right. You’re always pretended that you belong to the hyung and acts mature. You always left me and Udong,” Chansung said in support of Wooyoung has said.

Junsu and Taecyeon who were still laughing nodded in agreement.  Junho pouted and return to his seat.

“Which members prepare the most? Like making breakfast?” 

“Excluding the younger ones, Khun hyung is very well mannered. So I really want to learn it from him”

Nichkhun who at the very beginning just kept quiet suddenly paid attentively to the television when Wooyoung mentioned him. Despite everything that had happened between them, Wooyoung is still look up for him and even mentioned only kindness of him. If Wooyoung is there right in front of him, he would hug him not bother those staring eyes. If only he could turn back time.  Suddenly he felt lightheaded and decided to make his way to his room but his feet were stopped immediately when he heard Wooyoung sang ‘that song’.

He saw the look on Wooyoung’s face; the face that he had missed so much. Those eyes that displayed so much hurt and suffering he had gone through. He could feel the lyrics stabbed him right in his heart. The lyrics that matched perfectly with what Wooyoung’s felt at that moment. He can felt how much Wooyoung trying so hard to keep his emotion intact while singing the song.  Just like Wooyoung, Nichkhun hated himself for being the cause of pain for the man he loved. Again, if only he could turn back times, he would never hurt Wooyoung and would always be there to protect him. He would still remember when he promised himself that he won’t let anybody hurt Wooyoung but now he was the one who hurt him. If only he could disappear he would do that, for the sake of Wooyoung’s happiness.

*************************************

It was thirty minutes past one at midnight, when Wooyoung had received the message. His didn’t felt sleepy once he had reading the message sent by Junsu. Panic tightened and he quickly sat up. He pushed the quilt aside and practically jumped out of bed. He immediately put on a t-shirt and jeans. He dialed his manager and grabbed all the necessities he needs and tossed them in his backpack. He couldn’t think straight. All he ever wanted at that moment was to be with the person he loved; to be by his side. No matter how much he hates to admit, but the feeling was still there; the love; still burning deep inside his heart and body.

After saying goodbye to his parents, he rushed to the car which was waiting for him. He had opted to go to Seoul by train.  It would take tomorrow if he was waiting for a flight. Wooyoung kept silence through the long journey. Even he was worried, he wouldn’t dare to ask anyone regarding the incident. His manager was constantly asking him whether he was okay but he just nodded and smiled. In between the long ride, his cell phone rang several times. He picked it up and saw s and set it back down. He somehow knew that they were worried about him but he didn’t feel like talking.

The car had turned into his dormitory neighborhood and continued past several houses before reaching the dorm. The closer the drive towards the dorm, the more his stomach twisted. As the car stopped in front of the dorm, he was practically jumped from the car and ran towards the person he longed to see. As he opened the front door of his dorm, everyone was gathered around at the living room. All eyes were on him but his eyes were searching the person he had missed so much.

He walked to the living room and bowed to s, their managers and stood in front of them. They all talked at once; trying to tell him the stories which he probably already knew. He didn’t pay too much attention on them but keep his attention only towards the bedroom door on his right. And without saying any words he left them who were still busy arguing and discussing on the incident. He opened the bedroom door which wasn’t his but he felt he was belonged there.

Wooyoung stood and looked around the room. He glanced at the big bed and the untidy covers. He put his backpack near the night stand and moved to the bed. He can feel the warmness on the pillow he touched; he can still smell the scent of that person all around him. He felt as if just yesterday he had sleep in this bed and as if nothing had ever happened between them that broke them apart. He let himself lie on that very bed and closed his eyes. And slowly he was taken to the happiest place he had ever be.

*********************

Nichkhun had always lived his life decently and not one thing had ever failed him before. Although he tried so hard to be the best, it seems it didn’t go so well. And this time, his life would change forever. This day would definitely leave a mark not only to his own but other as well. For the first time in his life, he never felt so alone, so afraid and guilty than he ever be. How he wished his family were here with him; giving him the strength and the courage he needs. Even so, he was thankful to s and fans that gave him their undying support and never once had judged him. Maybe he would be more thankful if that particular person was here by his side; and maybe if he was here with him he would brave enough to face this test even if he was alone.

Once everything done, he was freed to go home. The journey home took longer than before. Maybe because he was alone or maybe because all the feelings he had inside. He looked out the windows. He just let his gaze wanders everywhere and seeing all the things that he hadn’t actually see. Once reached the dorm, he just stood there at the front door; he stood there as he felt the pain squeezing his chest. He finally had the courage to open the door and confronted his friends. Despite the support they gave him, he knew he had disappointed them somehow and the image of the group.   

He didn’t have the heart to talk about it for now. All he ever wanted to do the most right now was sleep and wake up the next morning to find this would just be a nightmare. He said his goodnight to them and walked to his bedroom. After closing the door behind him, he leaned on the door and cried. All the emotion he had kept poured at once. He couldn’t hold any longer. He hugged his knees and poured his heart out. He never cried like this before not even when his grandfather died. He was crying so hard that he couldn’t see or heard anything other than his own sobbed.

Wooyoung who had been sleeping on his bed had awoken by his crying sound. Wooyoung stirred in his sleep. He opened his eyes right away upon hearing someone’s crying. He thought he was still at home when he suddenly remembered what had happened. He also remembered that he was not sleeping on his room or even on his bed. His thought was once again interrupted by the sound. He sat up and could see someone’s figure behind the door with his head down. He knew who the person was. He could perfectly recognize the figure even in the darkness fills the room.

Wooyoung moved out of the bed and walked slowly towards the man. He sat in front of him and hugged him without hesitation. Nichkhun who could feel arms hugging him, lifted his head. He saw Wooyoung smiling in front of him with tears streaming down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe what he saw. He held his hands and touch Wooyoung. He was real. Wooyoung was real. Wooyoung was there with him. He was choked at the thought that Wooyoung had gone back home from his hometown just for him. He returned the hug and cried harder. Never once in his life he felt so sad and rejoice at the same time.

Wooyoung lifted his hands and pushed Nichkhun away a bit. He wiped the tears on Nichkhun’s cheeks and eyes. Not enough with that, he kissed the traced of tears and clean Nichkhun’s face. Nichkhun closed his eyes and enjoyed the loved he received. He had been longed for Wooyoung to touch and kiss him again after so long. He had longed to be in Wooyoung arms again. He stopped the kissed and held Wooyoung’s face. He looked Wooyoung and smiled. Wooyoung was the first one to break the silence between them,

“Hyung, please don’t cry. I hate seeing you crying,”

Nichkhun caressed Wooyoung lips and pecked him there.

“Wooyoung I’m so sorry for all I’ve done to you…to our group and to HOTTEST. I would never want to hurt you. Wooyoung please forgive me,”

“Hyung I don’t want to remember that anymore. I would never blame you of what had happened. It was all in the past and now what important is your case,”

“Wooyoung thank you for always being with me despite the pain I had caused you.  I know that I didn’t deserve to receive your love let alone you,”

Wooyoung brought Nichkhun up from the hardwood floor to the bed. Nichkhun lied on the bed not before asking Wooyoung to sleep beside him. He scooted over to give space to Wooyoung and hugged him.

“Nichkhun I would never leave you no matter what happed. I’ll always be by your side even if you’re no longer with me or with someone..”

Wooyoung was unable to finish his words when Nichkhun silenced him with a kiss.

“There won’t be anyone else beside you Wooyoung. Not one after you left. My heart will always fill with you,”

Wooyoung smiled hearing those words.

“I love you Wooyoung-ah. Please don’t ever leave me again,” he sounded desperate but he didn’t care. He wanted Wooyoung after so long and he would never intend to let him go again. Not this time.

“I love you too and so much”

Wooyoung pressed his lips on Nichkhun’s shoulder and smiled. Nichkhun was his friend, lover and his very own angel. How could he ever resist him? He never knows what the future holds for them but what he was looking forward now is the present time; to spend the moments with the person he loved the most. He had no interest to revisit the past either. He was once by Nichkhun’s side before and he was intending to stay by his side for as long as Nichkhun wants him to.

*End*

Thank you so much for reading. Again i'm so sorry if there's any mistakes. 

See u soon. ^_^ 

Shafiekah~