Chapter 36
Winning Hearts
It’s not your fault.
“Shut up, it’s my fault.”
But you’re not the one who manipulated him.
“I led him straight to the person who did.”
But—
Ryeowook slammed a stack of papers down on the desk, running fingers through his hair in irritation. “Please…be quiet,” he sighed, “I thought I could face Kyuhyun after spending so much time with Changmin and Victoria,” Ryeowook admitted to the phantom, “…I really felt like everything would be okay.”
That’s alright, gorgeous. That’s what friends are for. Hyungsik hovered near the ground, smiling up at Ryeowook like he was really there, just within arm’s reach. When he attempted to touch the figment of his imagination, it rippled and faded before coming back into focus. No matter how many times you lose your confidence, they’ll keep building it back up.
“I don’t want to bother them,” Ryeowook mouthed, teeth grinding.
Don’t be silly. Never think like that. They’ll give you boundless confidence without a price. You aren’t a bother. The only thing they expect from you is the same support in their time of need. That isn’t so hard, is it, gorgeous?
He smiled shakily, “Yeah…you’re right.”
You already knew all of this, Ryeo-ah.
His gaze lowered, tingles racing over his skin at the whisper of that nickname. The videos had brought it back to such clarity that he felt as if Hyungsik was really speaking to him again. Ryeowook looked at his work. “At least it’s quiet without Kyuhyun around,” he offered the empty office optimistically.
The phantom nodded with a firm grin. Yes, look on the bright side more often!
“…what happens when he comes back?” His heart raced out of fear, remembering that look on Kyuhyun’s face like a sharp slap.
Ryeowook peered down at his shoulder, chest, and then his wrist, feeling heat rising up from the violent, careless touches. It was only a preview – a warning – for the future. Kyuhyun wanted him to know what he was capable of and how little there was for Ryeowook to do.
Biting on his bottom lip, he opened up a video messenger on his computer.
Victoria’s face popped up and she smiled. “This is a surprise! Are you slacking off, Ryeowook?” she teased.
“Uhm…sort of,” he blushed, “I only ever work to keep my mind off things…but it seems like that isn’t very healthy, right?”
“When you have friends, you don’t need distractions,” she responded, “Speaking of which, does that mean something is bothering you? If it’s about Hyungsik, I’ll call up Changmin—”
“—no, no, it’s not about him,” Ryeowook shook his head quickly. “It’s about Kyuhyun.”
Victoria’s expression fell. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s angry – furious, really,” he admitted, “and I can’t understand how someone could change so quickly.” Ryeowook kept his eyes down, chest tightening at every flashing memory of Kyuhyun’s gentle hands and voice, embracing him and reassuring him. “I don’t know. I don’t believe him, but I have no right to doubt him.”
She nodded thoughtfully, nails tapping her chin. “Well, Ryeowook, you’ve never really had a bad relationship with anyone have you?”
“I suppose not,” he furrowed his brow. “Is this normal?”
“They say that there’s a very thin line between love and hate; most likely because those are two of the strongest emotions and even though there’s such a wide array of emotions separating them, things are bound to meet.” Victoria glanced at Ryeowook, continuing, “All it takes is a single moment to realize that you love someone, and all it takes is a slight nudge and hurt feelings to transform that fleeting love into hate. Love opens you to vulnerability. When people are betrayed in love, they feel like their vulnerability has been exposed and hate is the automatic defense.”
Ryeowook was staring at her through the screen at that point. Women were so knowledgeable about love. How did they ever get that way? They couldn’t be born with it, right? “I…I never knew.”
“Obviously,” she giggled, “you haven’t had any bad experiences in love and that’s a good thing. However, when you need help, just come to me. I’ll probably have something to say about the subject.” Victoria winked at him. “Anyway, I actually have to head to lunch with a friend. Call me if anything is wrong. See you tonight!”
“See you tonight,” Ryeowook smiled, “thank you.”
Changmin stretched his legs out on the ottoman, a plate of homemade fried rice on his lap. “Y’know, we get about one tape a night. How long is it going to take?” he asked between chews.
“Swallow first, you pig,” Victoria muttered.
“Be quiet, princess,” he retorted.
Ryeowook stepped out from the kitchen, hanging his apron up along the way. “There are fifty-six tapes,” he explained, “so I suppose it will take a long time.”
Changmin nearly dropped his food. “Oh hell no,” he breathed, “that’s it. We’re having a party and charging through all of these. What’re you guys doing this weekend?”
“Nothing so far,” Ryeowook answered, though he was wary to say anything definite considering the sudden twist in Kyuhyun’s behavior.
“Then let’s tentatively plan for an all-night video tape bash,” Changmin beamed, shoveling more food into his mouth.
Victoria nodded, “I agree with that. We’ll stay up all night and just watch the videos! We can crank through a good chunk of them. Just make sure you pick some of the happier memories,” she added for good measure, smiling.
“There will be a reasonable mix,” Ryeowook assured, chuckling, “or, at least, I’ll try.”
“Yes, that’s all we ask for,” she joked.
Changmin glanced at the television screen. “So what tape are we watching tonight?”
“Our high school won a trip to Jeju Island after collecting a large amount of recyclable bottles,” Ryeowook explained, “this entire tape is the three day trip. Hyungsik wouldn’t put the camera down the entire time.”
“Well, this sounds light hearted,” he sighed in relief. “God, last night’s video about the story behind that bracelet nearly had me bawling my eyes out.”
“Nearly?” Victoria snorted, “You were crying like a baby.”
“Hey!” he defended, “That was ing beautiful and you’re heartless if you didn’t shed a tear, which, if I remember correctly, you didn’t.”
“Stop being such a woman,” she frowned, “On the outside, you seem so confident, but on the inside, you’re a total sap.”
Ryeowook watched them in amusement, wondering how they could click so soon after meeting one another. Slowly, he pressed play and got comfortable, picking up his plate of food and eating.
“Welcome to the Hyungsik Tour Guide Special! I will be taking you on a fantastic adventure through Jeju Island with my greatest sidekick, Ryeowook!” he reported with an easy-going grin.
Ryeowook’s head popped up, glasses perched low on his nose. “I don’t wanna be the sidekick!”
“And why not?” Hyungsik frowned. “I’m and awesome hero for your sidekick character, don’t you think?”
“Well, can’t we both we heroes? And didn’t you say that you’re a tour guide?”
“Technicalities,” he dismissed, “anyway, hero tour guides are totally awesome.”
Ryeowook nodded naively.
“So tell me what you goal is for the end of this three day trip, Ryeowook,” Hyungsik prompted.
The other boy paused, thinking for a long minute. “I want to have a lot of memories that will make me laugh.”
His lover smiled at that, leaning over and resting his head on Ryeowook’s shoulder. “You’re the best, gorgeous.”
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