I thought I would die with how my heart had been bursting, pounding against my ribs. I sat on the first seat I could see as I climbed on the bus, relieved that he hasn’t come running for me. And even more relieved that we’d be seeing each other next year, thank God for Christmas and New Year’s break.

The weeks and the holiday season had passed by quietly. And classes have now come back. I feel lucky today aside from the usual talks I hear early in the morning about Jongup. Gosh, what does it take for this people to stop talking about him? Talk about a fun new year.

“Oh, my lens case,” I said partly surprised, partly happy when I saw the dark small case sitting on Yongguk’s desk. “Where’d you get it?” I asked him. Yongguk nudged his head towards Sunhwa’s corner, where she was talking to…

Jongup! Calm down Himchan he probably doesn’t know it was you. Act innocent, act as dumb as this is, I coached myself. And I hope to whoever’s looking after me I did well when Jongup turned to greet me.

“Uh… thanks,” I said as civil as I can without twitching an eyebrow.

“You’re welcome,” he said with a smile. “Nice pictures, by the way,” he added.

“Pictures?” I asked and I could see and feel the slithering snake within Yongguk crawling up behind my back, sniggering behind that cup of coffee. Jongup pointed a thumb at the shelf with a few of the best articles and pictures taken through contest or by the club members themselves.

“Oh, they’re no biggy,” I replied, calm down Himchan, I tell myself again as I grabbed the cap. “Anyway, I’m going ahead, see you later Yongguk.” I said before I dismissed myself.

“Want my help with that?” Yongguk said in a sing-song.

“ off.” And I closed the door behind me.

“What’s that about?” Jongup asked innocently.

Yongguk smiled, much to his amusement, “Nothing, just a best friend thing,” and he pushed himself up his chair and readied for class himself.

*~*~*

“Yongguk!” I roared as I scanned him in his Arts class. He just looked at me and went back to his so-called abstract painting which is really just throwing random colors all over the canvas. “For a friend, you sure do love torturing me!” I hissed against his face. He just let out a nasal snigger.

“I’m doing you a favor. Besides, with you taking the shots, people have started to take a lot of interest with the paper, as if you actually know how, what and when to take the perfect picture, as if you are in synch,” he said with a huff. I took a deep, very deep breath, taking hold of patience, whatever patience was left of me. Yongguk was right, I was and am the best photographer the club has and I need a few good shots to get me some recommendations.

“You know the more you whine about how much you hate him,” he said in a softer tone that only the both of us could hear, “The more I’m convince that what you meant is the complete opposite.”

I was about to spat a retort when he whisked his brush, and thank God it was empty of any blot or I will really kill him for staining my uniform, and said a little closer, “Else why do you keep that picture in your room.”

I could feel myself blush and before the heat could conquer my face I stormed out of the classroom.

I do not. I do not. I DO NOT LIKE MOON JONG UP! Yongguk is wrong. He is ing wrong! Who I admire, even if it is in secret is Young – ouch!

“Sorry,” a girl said as she breezed pass me. I looked around me, wondering where my angry feet have led me too, I’m sure I’ll be in detention for skipping class, breaking in someone else’s class but for now, I don’t know where I am.

“It’s okay,” I muttered, the girl smiled dryly. I can tell she was about to cry, her eyes tells me hurt, disappointment and just tears about to leak. And she went her way as I peak through the wall to which she came from. I was surprised to see, Jongup was there, standing and sighing heavily. I know what happened. I’ve seen it quite often in dramas and movies and read it in manhwas but rarely seen it real.

“She was a fine girl,” I said without thinking actually. Jongup jumped, I most probably startled him but he smiled in reply, embarrassed probably. “So why reject her?”

Jongup shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Huh,” I said in a surprised, mocking tone, “Isn’t it for you to know something, you’ve got to at least try it, wasn’t that what you said?” he laughed. And I want to shoot myself in the head, I suddenly have the urge to want to capture that pure, real laugh.

“Yeah, I guess I did say that. But I think ‘love’ would be one department I wouldn’t just bet my life into. It’ll hurt me in a whole different level. Bodily scars heal much faster or so I’ve been told.”

I shrugged this time, and why the heck am I averting my eyes from him?! “I’ve never been a stupid daredevil so I don’t know about that.”

“But you’ve been in love, right, hyung?”

“Well… I love my parents, my siblings and,” my face scrunched up before I said, “And my dickhead of a best friend.”

“You love Yongguk?” he looked surprised in a strange way.

“He is my best friend, can’t really say I hate him that would be opposing the term.”

 “How about a lover, hyung?”

“I’ve been told I’m not the boyfriend material. Must be because I’m a dickhead like Yongguk.” Jongup laughed, yet again and sounded… relieved? Or has my whacked up brain conjured bunch of things.

“You’re funny hyung. I don’t think you’re a dickhead, I know,” and Jongup moves closer to me, with that seemingly innocent look on his face. “Why don’t we try it?”

“Try what?” I sense dark clouds looming upon me.

“You. Me. In a relationship.”

What?! And you butterflies in my stomach get out of there! You shouldn’t be there. Not for this guy.

Yongguk, I so hate you, you . You implanted these butterflies in me with those Himchan-likes-Jongup crap.