“Jinki, let me hug you” Jonghyun ask the older boy with pleading eyes.

“No! I won’t allowed you ert!” Jinki distance their space but Jonghyun grab Jinki’s wrist and pull him closer. He hugs Jinki tightly.

“Please jinki. I beg you” Jinki stops struggling and let Jonghyun hug him.

“I always believe one day you will realize that you love me too but maybe that day won’t come. I’ll give you up and please let me hug you for the last time” Jinki nods.

They stay like that for almost 5 minutes before Jonghyun broke the hug.

“Thank you and I love you” he flashes his smile and kiss Jinki nose. His smile is simple, pure not like his usual cocky smile. It feels almost breathtaking but sad.

Jonghyun turns and leave Jinki gape at the younger man’s back. Something is amiss.

!~!

Jinki sit at the park thinking about Jonghyun’s action when they last meet. It has been almost a year and Jonghyun never appear in his sight. His best friend just shakes his head when Jinki ask him about Jonghyun.

What Jonghyun believe is true. Jinki finally realize how much Jonghyun mean in his life even though he always think Jonghyun as annoying, arrogant and just full of himself.

!~!

“Kibum! Please tell me where is Jonghyun!” Jinki chase Kibum who tried to run away from him.

“Stop it Jinki! There is nothing you can do if I tell you where he is”

“I can!! Please believe me” Jinki begs.

“Believe?” Kibum laugh. “Jonghyun was an idiot. He always says ‘I believe’ but...” Kibum stop talking and look at Jonghyun’s love life.

“Follow me. I’ll give you something and tell you where he is”

!~!

Jinki blink at Kibum when the small men hand him a diary and an envelope.

“Go home and read it”

!~!

17/8/11

JINKI!!

I believe you will think this is another cheesy love letter from me. Surprisingly, you are wrong. I think I’ll just give you up. I’ve been wooing you for 3 years but you still won’t accept me and I start to lose confidence. My belief that one day you will realize that you love me just like how I love you also wavering… no… it’s lost. So, this time… this last time I want to ask you the same thing…. Please be my life.

I love you. I really love you. No matters how you trying to push me away, I’ll always love you. You have me once, ‘why you keep trying?’ but I never answer right? It because I never love someone except you and believe or not, you are my first and last love. I can promise you but I guess your answer still a big NO! right? I can feel that.

Love, Jjong~

!~!

Jjong’s diary!!~ Today is 31/8/12

I decide I won’t give the letter.

He probably felt guilty after he read that.

!~!

There is another letter place inside the diary. Exactly on the last page of the diary and it’s from Kibum. Jinki cried when he read the Jonghyun’s letter and his diary but he cried harder when he read the latter from Kibum.

It’s a death certificate from a year ago.

Kim Jonghyun, Daegu’s memorial cemetery.

Committed suicide.

a/n: i miss jongyu *pout.... anyway, sorry if you feel you just wasting your time reading this *bow