A/N hi it is not a Khuntoria story but I am working on it right now and trying to finish it but I just wanted to post this story, a personal story.

To those who read it thanks. I was having hard time reminiscing it I tried my best not to cry but the pain is still there I guess I need longer time to heal.

Again thanks

They were with her Aunt’s house in the province. Unprepared visit, a whim on her mother’s part, well who would say yes if when he refused her face darkened  and all she could say is a silent prayer that her money would be enough for them to reach her aunt’s house before her money would run out.

Luckily it did, God is on her side, their side.

The time spend at her aunt’s house was good her mom is being so chatty and all, everything is going fine and good, well except with one little incident.

For a mere second her mom’s vision out, just a mere second. She shrugged it off, which she will regret in the future.

Night time comes they spent watching movies with all of her aunt’s grandchildren, the house was a chaos and my mom loves it. She was watching the kids play, and was laughing at their ruckus now and then.

Later that night when everyone was asleep she and her mom were chatting and teasing each other.

“You would like to sleep on the floor?” she asked her daughter doubtly

“Yes”

“With mice running around” she taunts.

“Fine we would sleep on the couch, jeez really mom, you are such a tease-eeeww mom” she said holding her fingers to her nose as her mom let out a sound, releasing carbon dioxide “it smell awful” she tease

“Huh no its not, my fart smells good” boast her mom”

“Yeah right whatever, you sleep on this couch, I’ll take the other one”

Her Aunt offer’s them to sleep in other bed at the house but her mom refuse and her mom being the oldest her aunt didn’t pursue it.

The oddest thing happen to her, she can’t sleep even for a minute, the sound of the flapping calendar disturbs her at the same time her heart is beating so erratically, and deep in her heart she is praying that her father is safe in their house in the city.

She roused up at her couch and put the calendar down, she glance at her mother’s way and she saw her walk to the bathroom.

“Tsk, tsk I think it’s a reason too why she didn’t want to sleep in one of the rooms” she mumbles.

She is so frustrated it is 5 in a morning and she hadn’t slept even a wink, argh.

She heard her aunt, telling one of the older kiss to buy bread at the bakery. And somehow at that time she felt her eyes shuts and slept.

She was awaken by a sound and when her eyes opens her eyes went to her mom and abruptly she stands up.

“Mom” she called and when she went to her, she was making a gurgling sound, her tongue between her lips eyes closed.

Without second thought, she drags he mom down at the mattress were they should have slept.

And her heart skipped a beat for  her mom felt heavy, for a petite and small frame woman it’s not just possible, deep on her head she remembers ‘when they are dead they are heavy no matter how small they are’

She blocked that notion; she can’t just accept it like this, no.

She tried opening to apply first aid. She is wrecking her head with what she would do as a first aid, her heart thumping.

“Auntie, help!!” she screamed. The other occupants in the house had gone to where they are.

She started barking orders. She ordered them calling the hospital,  to ask assistance on what to do in those situations

Her phone is battery empty, damn.

She swears why of all days that she let her cousins play with her phone till they run out of battery, especially of this cases.

A vehicle was hollered to bring them to the hospital.

It was the longest ride ever, her control is slipping the feeling of her mom dying is slowing downing on her.

Then she remember one time, her mom telling her that in her dreams her parents, dead parents are fetching her.

“You always just wake me up” she would always say.

“Don’t come with them then” is what I always tell her.

“Grandpa, grandma please don’t take her away from me yet please” is what I say silently for I don’t want my younger niece hear me. I was holding up my tears too for I don’t want to cry or lose my control or else I know my aunt and my niece would breakdown.

But I am so close to breaking down holding my mom in my arms whispering to her not to leave me, begging her, begging my grandparents and all her relatives not to take her from me yet.

My heart is beating hard and can’t stop myself as a tear escape from my eyes.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

Once we arrive at the hospital she was send to the emergency,.

As I watch them add those tubes on her trying to revive her, tears are trailing generously down in my eyes.

My mind is telling my heart she had already gone but my heart is not ready to accept it

The doctor went to me and said they tried their best and that when we reach the hospital her heart stops beating already.

I begged them to try again. The lady doctor looking sad for her nods and for another ten minutes tried but to no avail.

At first I thought the crying thing in the emergency room is done so dramatically but when I bellowed, crying my heart out at the death of my mom, I guess it is really how the people feels losing their love ones.

I didn’t know how long I cried but somehow I have thought of informing few people of my mom passing.

I called my workplace telling I can’t go to work and tell them about my mom.

Next I called my cousin, the one I am closest to at my father’s side.

“Ella, my Mom is gone”

“What? How? Why?” she asked shocked at what I said. And once I told her what happen she asked “what do you want me to do?”

“Come here, after I call my cousin on mom’s side in Japan, I think I am going to stop processing, my heart and mind won’t be able to process, I need you here” she begged.

“Wait for me there then” she said and the line was cut.

I dialed the last number I intend to.

Like what I had said to my cousin, my mind went blank after wards, as I went back inside the hospital and went to my mom’s now cold body.

My tears started to fall again as I saw her now cold, unmoving. I walk closer and slowly have my arms around her. My shoulders started to shake, crying I was mumbling I didn’t even have time to tell her goodbye and I love her.

I asked for her forgiveness for my shortcoming as her daughter.

How do you stop your heart from hurting, missing when half your life you had been with them.

For almost seven years had passed the pain is still as it is like it’s like yesterday.

Between those years I had dreamt of one time her being in my dream and me being able to talk to her.

She was in that aching familiar road sitting at the sidewalk.

“What are you doing there? Where have you been” I asked.

“I am so tired she answered” she answered, a felt my heart lurched as if I know why she is been so tired, coz for I was holding her down and she can’t move on worrying about me.

“Then go take a rest” I said and that instantly I woke up.

And I started crying again, saying sorry for making her worry about me even in the afterlife that she should move on I will try my best too to do just that.

It is still hard up to now but I try my best

But every year that time of her passing comes sadness still there, what ifs runs in my head.

When I got sick I still cry for her, and a lot of places still reminds me of her.

She is my mom and my best friend.