A/N: Trying a different style of writing. I apologize if it seems choppy because of that. Also, if this goes according to plan there should be four chapters.

--Recorded Entry 1: Unspecified Date--

"I think had friends once. I think I had a family. Sometimes if I close my eyes just tight enough I can see blurry image of their faces: mom, dad, and a younger sibling. Maybe it's all wishful thinking. It's not like they would recognize me anymore even if I did have family.

"I don't know if I would want them to recognize me. It's not just the physical me that has changed, though that would be enough. The physical me changes, I always feel like putty, I can't quite decide if this is a side effect of my ability or simply that I can't remember a time when my face was truly my own. Maybe both. Probably both.

"I'm a 'lucky' one. At lof people...the change destroys their mind. I've watched three people deteriorate into insanity. And I remember all their faces too clearly. Youngbae with his gentle smile, Jiyong with his crazy energy and Big Seunghyun with his deep voice. All of them nearly unrecognizable now. I still visit them daily but none of them understand enough to recognize me. And truthfully, the exercise does no one involved any sort of good. They're feral almost and it frightens me to know that one day I may end up among their ranks, no longer me but a mindless animal to be kept on a chain.

"I hear Daesung's voice calling me. My fourth cellmate. I don't know how to feel about him, I'm afraid to watch him sink into the very same pit that all the others did. But so far he seems to be adjusting to the change well."

--End of recording--

Daesung was interesting. And it wasn't just his appearance.

Though, that certainly would be enough. His hair was nearly white, and his eyes were a light shade of gold. He moved with an almost animalistic grace. Like some big cat biding his time until he could pounce on his prey and devour it. Unsettlingly it reminded me of watching that change happen to Youngbae, Jiyong and Seunghyun. However, everything about Daesung reminded me of those three. He shared Youngbae's bright smile, and Jiyong's energy and he even mirrored Seunghyun's childishness. Everything about Daesung was uncomfortable.

But he seemed sane enough despite the coiled way he seemed to move. Pleasant enough.

I didn't go near him. I couldn't bring myself to interact with him at all. I think he knew something was wrong. But he always would look hurt when he tried to initiate contact and I shied away from his touch. I pretended that I didn't notice. I just...I couldn't be near him without wanting to cry or scream or both.

--Recorded Entry 4: Unspecified Date--

"I've finally gotten used to Daesung. He's different. Probably the most cheerful person that I've met here. And I can't see what he has to be cheerful about. They are harder on him than the rest of us. They push him more. My tough day would be one of his easy days. I think it has something to do with his abilities but he never talks to me about those things.

"They come for him sometimes in the middle of the night, I always wake up to one of them holding me down to the bed injecting something into my arm. I never know what it is exactly, but I always black out to Daesung's terrified screaming...I think they know if I was able to I would stop them. But I also wonder if they put more than sedative in whatever they're injecting me with, as I'm always sick the next day..."

--End of recording--

I think both Daesung and I knew that it was never him who was in danger of slipping into insanity, but me. I could feel my mind slowly starting to leave me. And it terrified me. Daesung was stable and I was crumbling, slowly crumbling away. It was only a matter of time before I became like my past cellmates. Daesung never mentioned it and neither did I. We shared the same thought though without having to voice it. Maybe if we both just close our eyes this impossible nightmare will end.

A childish way of thinking. But there wasn't much else we could do. I could feel Daesung's heart aching for me. He felt awful, I could tell because he knew how I hated the thought of becoming nothing more than an animal. If I still possessed my faculties then I could still be human. I had convinced myself of this fact nearly every day. No matter what other indignities they forced on me I could still be human if I was still aware.

I was losing the battle though. Almost as if every night my head was a mental battlefield between my raw, animalistic side and my rational, human side. The human side was fast losing ground to the animal side though. I had horrible dreams, nightmares really in which I killed everyone I had ever known or cared about. And I would laugh over their corpses. What scared me the most was not this though, but the emptiness inside me when I woke up, I wasn't scared or upset or angry. I only wanted more.

Only Daesung managed to talk sense into me. Only Daesung managed to keep me grounded.

"Dae...?" I asked him one night. I didn't have to say anything else. He got up and swiftly moved to my bed, wrapping his arms around me as tightly as he could.

"I'm here. I won't let you become like them, Ri. I promise."

Ever since that night Daesung had a habit of sleeping in my bed, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. And for a time it worked. But one night it didn't.

--Recorded Entry 7: Unspecified Date--

"I had a nightmare last night. I was killing my family. I only half-remember their faces but I know it was them. And I didn't feel anything. Not when they turned their blurry faces up and not when they pleaded in soundless voices for me to stop. I didn't stop. I killed everyone. I woke up when Dae hit me. I think I had been crying but I couldn't tell with how much I had been sweating. Dae hovered over me that whole night, not falling asleep again, just watching me trying to gauge what had happened. I could never tell him, but I think he knows that I'm losing something vital to me.

"I can't do this anymore. Death would be less painful.

"Daesung's presence no longer helps me. I had hoped...no not hoped but wished that our temporary solution would become a permanent one. But it's not. No matter what he does the dreams keep coming back. And it's even worse those nights when the scientists rip him from my bed, forcing me to sleep alone. The dark never seemed so sinister before. It's never seemed so wrong. I'm scared of the dark.

"The dark brings only pain and suffering."

--End of recording--