I’m moving to New York City…  I’ll be in America for a year…

            Lu Han couldn’t see her go…. He wanted to see her again before she leaves with her boyfriend.  There were only a few days left…  Time has slipped by so fast before he could even grasp it.  Has 2 months pasted by so quickly?  He wants to talk to her, face to face…

            He quickly pulls the cap he is wearing lower, as 2 teenage girls walked past him in a giggling fit.  He is wearing normal civilian clothes, nothing as eye catching as his stage costumes.  He is hoping that no one notices him.  Lu Han is blinking slowly as he holds tightly onto the bouquet of flowers in his hands, nervous.  At the corner of his eyes, he could see someone standing a meter away.

            Lu Han turns his head to watch her, in content.  She is wearing a soft, flow-y neutral dress that is perfect for the humid summer of Seoul and her long black hair is up in a pony tail.  Admin SY is finally here, at the designated place she and Lulu had set up.

            Without warning, she turns in Lu Han’s direction.  He quickly ducks his head and pretends to be playing on his phone.  He could hear her soft footsteps approach him and suddenly stopping.  Closing his eyes, he gains a small ounce of confidence and looks up.  She is sitting comfortably, next to him.  Lu Han swallows hard as he looks around.  The only seat open on the cool concrete water fountain is next to him…  His heart starts to race and he swallows hard.  He is unsure of how he is even going to start the conversation.

            “Hi, I’m Lulu.  I’m actually really Lu Han and pretended to be a girl because I wanted to know more about Moon Shin since he looks so much like me.”

            No way.

            That is the worse way to get her running towards the hills.

            How will Admin SY even react when he tells her the truth?  Will she even accept him after letting things be without correcting them? 

            Well, it’s not like anything more could possibly start between them…   She has a loving boyfriend.  Meanwhile Lu Han, himself, is an idol with many young fans.  What does he really expect?  She won’t be his girlfriend as much as he would love her to.  She won’t leave her boyfriend for some guy that doesn’t even have time for her because of his busy schedules, or a guy who can’t even properly walk on the streets with, or a guy who is constantly gone because he is promoting overseas.

            Does he really think that he could use the fact that he’s an idol to seduce her?  Does he really think that she will leave her boyfriend, a man who seems to love her endlessly, for someone like him?  Lu Han has been ignoring all of reality for so long.  There is no light at the end of this tunnel and he needs to step out of as soon as possible before hurting her and himself.

            Suddenly, Lu Han’s phone starts to vibrate.

Sooyun:  Lulu Unnie, where are you?  It’s been 15 minutes...

             He swallows hard as he types away.  Before he sent the message, he looks at over at the lovely young woman next to him.  She is oblivious to him as she frantically looks round for the Lulu that never existed.

Lulu: Sorry!!  I was in a rush to come see you, but my tire went out on me.  Maybe we’ll have to meet another time when you and I are in Seoul together.

            Lu Han turns to watch the young woman as she reads the message.  He could see her excited face fall into a small frown, obviously disappointed.  He knows that she would be more disappointed if he had told her the truth…  Feeling bad, he places the bouquet of flowers he was holding in her lap. 

            It is for her after all, he thought.  I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I just went home.  Stare at it and get depressed over it?

            Admin SY quickly looks at him, surprised, and he turns away, making sure she couldn’t see him.

            “Here, take it.” Lu Han said, with a shaky voice. 

            “These flowers are so pretty, are you sure?” asked her velvety voice. 

            “Of course…” replied Lu Han, nervous.  “Someone beautiful like you shouldn’t be frowning…”

            “They’re so beautiful.  The girl you were going to give them to must be greatly loved by you.” said Admin SY, softly.  “She must have been very special.”

            You are very special, thought Lu Han.  As much as he wanted to look at her, he couldn’t.  She would know right away who he is and with Shin’s rising popularity in Korea, the last thing he wants is attention.

            “I will cherish this bouquet of flowers dearly.” said Admin SY.  She places her hand on his forearm, squeezing it lightly before letting go.  The sudden touch surges electricity throughout Lu Han’s body.  He glances over at her, taking in a deep breath.  But, she misses his gaze as she gives him a polite bow.  “Thank you so much.  You’re a kind man and I hope that one day you’ll be able to find a wonderful woman that will stay at your side.”

            Unable to take it anymore from the wave of emotions Lu Han is feeling, he stands up.  “Don’t think too much about it.” said Lu Han, still trying to keep his face away from her.  “Cherish and love them as you said you would.”

            “Thank you.” said Admin SY, again.  “I will!”

            And, with that, Lu Han just walks away…  Hesitating, he took a single look back when he knew he is too far for her to notice him.  She flashes him a smile and waves at him, rather, excitedly.  A small smile crosses over his lips and he shyly waves back.  He keeps on looking back at her multiple times before being engulfed by a huge group of people.  The devastation of loosing someone he loves, again, finally starts to settle in as a frown forms on his lips.

            “Hey, Hyung!” said Chen, as soon as Lu Han closed the door to their dorm.  Before he can react, he becomes bombarded with questions.

            “Lu Han, do you want to go to the mini mart with me?” asked Xiumin.

            “You came home, rather, quickly…” commented Kris and Lay, in unison.

            “Han Ge, where did-” started Tao, but he refuses to listen.

            He went straight to his room and closes it softly.   He plops down on the bed and faces the wall his bed is against.  He grabs his pillow and snuggles is face into it.  The soft smell of his shampoo lingers on the pillow, reminding him to take a long warm shower to release the tension.  There is a soft knock on the door and he knows that it is Lay.  He doesn’t bother turning around to face the young man as he walks in.  Lu Han could hear the other’s bed creak as he sits on it.

            “So…  Where were you?” asked Lay.

            “Why do you want to know?” asked Lu Han.  His voice muffled by the pillow.

            Lay takes in a deep breath.  “As long as you told the manager, then it is fine.” he said.  “We were just worried about you, you know.  We tried calling, but you didn’t pick up.”

            “I was busy.” said Lu Han.  He couldn’t lie to Lay, even if he forced himself.  He didn’t want to pick up the calls because they all knew what his intention was: to meet Admin SY face to face before, regardless of the consequences.

            “Hmmm….  Doing what?” asked Lay.  “You just left so suddenly…”

            Lu Han lets out a sigh.  “I tried to meet Admin SY.” he admitted.

            “That girl has a boyfriend, Lu Han.” reminded Lay, with a soft worried voice.  “You know that!  Why would-”

            He sits up in his bed, immediately.  “I just wanted to see her before she leaves!” interrupted Lu Han, hotly.  He could see Lay flinch at his sudden outburst and he lets out a long sigh.  “Sorry…  I didn’t mean to yell.”  Lay shakes his head and mouths that it’s fine.  “She’ll leave for a year or more…  Her boyfriend found a job there and she’s moving with him.  My chances of seeing her ever again are going to be never the moment she gets on that plane.”

            “And what did you do when you met her?!  Try to make her leave her boyfriend?!” asked Lay, getting frustrated at how stubborn Lu Han is becoming.  “No matter how much you like her, she will probably never turn your way because you came too late.”

            The words makes Lu Han wince, painfully.  His lips start to tremble lightly, but he controls himself.  No, he thought.  I will not cry over a girl.  If I didn’t cry over the last girl then why would I cry over this one?

            “Han Ge, what did you do when you met her?” asked Lay.

            Lu Han quickly blinks his eyes.  “Nothing.” he said. 

            “What do you mean by ‘Nothing’?” asked Lay.  “You did something, right?!”

            “I ordered her a bouquet of flowers…” stated Lu Han, slowly.  He looks up at Lay and he is frantically nodding his head.  Lu Han explains what happened: Admin SY showed up, sat next to him, and then he lied that his tire popped on him.  “Yixing…  I couldn’t talk to her!  I couldn’t tell her the truth because I’m a coward like that…”

            “Don’t say that…  Perhaps it’s better for things to stay the way they are.” he said, comfortly.

            Lu Han swallows hard.  “Things are better the things they are…” he said, with a shrug.  “I just really wanted to see her for the last time before she leaves…”

            “What happened to the bouquet then?” asked Lay, curious.  “Did you just throw it away?”

            Lu Han shakes his head.  “No…” he said, slowly.  “I gave it to her.”

            “What?!” asked Lay, alarmed.  “How?!”

            “Well, since she was just sitting at my side I placed the flowers in her lap and turned away from her…” explained Lu Han.  “I didn’t want her to see my face because she would know who I am right away…”

            “She would?” asked Lay, surprised.  “Wouldn’t she think that you’re Moon Shin?  You two do look similar.”

            Lu Han scoffs.  “Although that may be true, she knows the difference between Shin and I.” he replies.  “When clueless fans send in fantaken pictures of me instead of Shin, she corrects them.  Then, she puts it up on her blog, telling them that it’s not Shin because of he doesn’t have a scar on his lips like mine, our nose is slightly different, and something about our smile.”

            “Damn.  Really?” asked Lay.  “I wouldn’t even know the difference if someone asked me.”

            Lu Han smiles, softly, as he thought back to the small conversation they had.  Although it was painful, at least he was able to see her before she leaves for New York. 

            “Are you OK?” interrupts Lay’s voice.

            Lu Han continues to smile softly.  “I’m fine.” he said.  “I’m really glad I was about to meet her again before she leaves and to be able to talk to her briefly…  Although it wasn’t like what I had anticipated, it’s OK.  There are some things that I will never be able to change anyways.”

            Lay smiles, brightly.  “I’m glad to hear that you’ll let the girl go.” he said.  “It’s for the best.”

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

            Hello, hello~!  I hope you guys enjoyed this!!

            I know, I know…  I for leaving you guys hanging!!  T.T  Please forgive me!!

LOVE,

loveFORyunho