Should listening to David Archuleta - A Little Not Over You while read this story. Okay have fun! <3

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It never crossed my mind at all,
That is what I tell myself,
What we had has come and gone,
You're better off with someone else,

I had prepared my heart for this day to come. Finally, the reality hit me hard on face. You don’t know how much I love you and don’t want you to leave me, but it seems that you didn’t care about it at any cost.

I keep telling myself that I don’t deserve you because I can find a better person for myself but I was totally wrong when I never can live without you even for a day.

You are too precious and meant to me. I can’t imagine you without be my side even we just going to lie down on bed.

I know that you will disappear from my life sooner and I will start to find my own new paths since the day I saw you kissing passionately with him. The only last person I will believe to cheat on me, but maybe you don’t get an enough attention and love for me so you have gone to find him.

I keep remind myself that you are better off with someone else.

Maybe the person that deserves your love is our charismatic leader, right Hyunseungie?

Yes, Yoon Dujun is way too perfect than me. He is good in everything and you will fall easily for him.

It’s okay Junhyung, prepare yourself for that day.

It's for the best I know it is but I see you,
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside,
And I turn around, you're with him now,
I just can't figure it out,

I keep acting like I don’t even know you were dating Dujun and trying my best to holding the tears from falling down whenever I see you secretly holding his hand.

Why it is too easy for you to forget about us yet I still can’t face the fact that you are in someone else’s arms. Not me anymore.

You had left a big scar in my heart but I was healing this broken heart with my own comforting words by saying that you were just feels lonely and need someone for a temporary period. You will back again to me.

Eventhough I keep blinding my eyes for your actions, I’m just a mere human who have a feelings when get hurting by the person they love too much so I go to clubbing to meet with my little cute princess who always be my side when I’m having a bad days.

Goo Hara is such a heart-warming girl. She’s always treating me nicely and keeps comforting me whenever I’m in a bad mood.

I’m always pouring down his tears on her shoulder when the things were too hard for me.

I telling her everything about us and she always reminded me that I should make you mine again but I just can’t figure it out yet.

Maybe you really don’t need me and I will back off so you can live better.

All night long I let myself drowning in my own thought to either let you go or not. But only God know that it’s the hardest decision ever in my life because you are everything to me.

You will never understand that I will choose to die than see you being happy with him.

Tell me why you're so hard to forget,
Don't remind me, I'm not over it,
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth,
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you,

Each day had passed by so slow. I’m feels dying inside without you. Why you have a guts to make me suffering when you know I can live without you.

I’m trying to keep busying my life with everything I can do. I was spending my time in CUBE Studio to make sure I will not see you and him being oh so lovey dovey on the bed. I can’t stand to see it you cuddling with him. Jang Hyunseung is really a great person. He can make me feels so effing weak just how am I right now.

I’m not the old Junhyung who used to make a silly joke and nagging like a grandma. It all because him, Jang Hyunseung. My bandmates insisting me that i had not different than a dead body. I also can feel the changing that happened drastically to me. I has skipped the meals and don’t sleep at least for 1-2 hours a day. Yes, I’m just a dead living boy now.

I don’t know what I supposed to do. I don’t think I can get you back even I’m crying out my lungs and kneeling down in front of you like I was doing before, still you can’t give me another chance.

I assumed you are really in love with Dujun and can’t back to me again.

I’m not worthing to you at all, right Baby Seungie? Oh no! I should call you by your first name from now, huh Hyunseung? I don’t have rights to use your pets name anymore, I guess.

It just a past things and I really should let it behind me.

Aren't memories supposed to fade?
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go,
Didn't think it'd be this hard,

When I lay my head down, Hyunseung’s pretty face will flooded into my mind like a broken record.

Oh God, why it is so hard for me to forget him? Why he always haunting me?

Our sweet memories keep replaying in my head over and over again. His sweetest smile was killing me slowly. I’m so hurting to the core. Someone please help me! I don’t want to live like this! It’s too hard and I don’t think I can handle this overload painful any further.

However I need to be strong for my own’s sake though. He don’t need me so why I still torturing myself?

Uh I shall move on from onwards.

Should be strong, movin' on but I see you,
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside,
And I turn around, you're with him now,
I just can't figure it out,

I decided to date my own best friend. I think she does understand me very well and after all I need to get my life back. I should forget Hyunseung sooner. I don’t want to be a pathetic guy and letting me stuck forever in my sad life.

But Hara and I know very well that our relationships will never success because I can’t treat her well like how I treating Hyunseung. I don’t want to hurt Hara. She shouldn’t being hurting just how like Hyunseung doing to me. I know I will never give my love to anybody except for him. I love him so much that it hurts me.

I begging like a mad man to him on the day Dujun and Hyunseung supposed to go out and buy their wedding’s rings.

He was waiting for Dujun to arrive at home when I suddenly grabbed his wrist and breaking down on the spot. I cannot hold my tears because it just likes a burden to me. I’m holding his tightly in my arms despite the struggling I gets to make me released him. But I can’t as I miss to hugging my lover like this and caressing him in my warmth embracing. How much I miss his smell of newly-washed hair. Such a perfect scents for me.

“Seungie, can you back to me? I love you so much but please come back to me again! I really can’t live without you. Aren’t you feels pity towards me?”

I desperately kissing his lips roughly and I feel Hyunseung’s body shivering over my sudden gesture. Soon he back to his sense and pushing me hard and I nearly fall down on my tailbone.

“I can’t and I will never back to you again!”

Hyunseung staring down on the floor and soon I heard his soft sobs.

“Why, Seungie? Tell me why?”

“I don’t know because I don’t love you anymore.”

Just like a pang on my face after he said that he doesn’t love me anymore.

“I’m sorry, I can’t back to you again, Junhyung.”

I see him take a step to the front door while wiped off the tears and leave me alone with my heart shattered into a tiny piece.

I take a deep breath and let it out calmly.

“I will let you go now, Seung. Thanks for cherish my life before. You will always stay in my heart no matter hard you pushed me and don’t let me enter your life again, all I can say is I really do love you.”

Maybe I regret everything I said,
No way to take it all back, yeah,
Now I'm on my own, how I let you go,
I'll never understand,
I'll never understand!

I smiled tiredly when staring down at our photo in the frame on my lamp post table beside the bed. It was taken during our 3rd year anniversary.

You were smiling happily with me kissing your right cheek and our fingers intertwined. We were so happy at that time. Nothing is coming over us. We were just a perfect and happy couple until your heart being stolen by him.

How I wishes we can back to those moment and not being like this.

I kiss that frame for the last time. Treasure it as much as I can before I let you go for real.

After that, I take the cutter and slowly digging it into veins on my wrist. I hissed at the unbearable pain I’ve been feels right now. But never can be compared with the pain you were given to me.

Slowly, I feel drowsy and everything getting blurry each time passed by.

I’m whispering his name for the last time before me drifting off to a beautiful dreamland for eternity.

“Jang Hyunseung, I will love you forever even I will see you next lifetime.”

Tell me why you're so hard to forget,
Don't remind me, I'm not over it,
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth,
And I really don't know what to do,
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you.

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