I woke up the next morning, my eyes stinging and the sun far too bright. I looked over at the clock and gasped when I saw it was already past morning and the afternoon was slowly creeping up on me. I remembered Youngjae’s words and headed into the bathroom to see the damage.

          My eyes were puffy and swollen, I had dark circles underneath them, and I looked like a train wreck. I quickly took a shower before going to the kitchen to grab the spoons I kept in the freezer.

          I sighed as I flopped myself down in my favorite chair and put the cold metal onto my closed eyes. It felt so soothing, and the burning pain was slowly dulling.

          There was a knock on my front door and I almost dropped the spoons in shock. I crept over to the peephole and peered through.

          A mess of brown hair was sticking up and I thought about who could have brown hair. I decided to play it safe and carefully snuck away from the door, not bothering to answer it. I jumped when my phone vibrated, as though I was afraid the visitor at the door heard it.

          I quickly snatched it up and saw it was just Youngjae messaging me.

          “Open the door.”

          I was so confused. Youngjae’s hair was blonde just yesterday. I crossed the living room and opened the door to see Youngjae with not only a new hair color, but a new hair style as well.

          I could not resist reaching my hand up to ruffle the locks, and rub the shaved sides. His hair was so soft; it felt lovely under my fingers.

          “Are you just going to feel my hair, or are you going to let me in?” he asked after a bit of my fussing.

          “Oh right. Come in.” I let him inside and then shut and locked the door behind him. He sat on my couch and motioned for me to sit next to him.

          Humoring him, I complied. He was sitting there staring at me. It was making me feel a bit uncomfortable, so I lightly punched his arm.

          “Is there something on my face?” I asked, reaching up to touch my cheek.

          “Yes, there is.” Youngjae replied. I started to get up to go to a mirror, but his grabbed my wrist and sat me back down.

          “There is the most beautiful smile on your face right now.” He said as he gently rubbed him thumb on my cheek.

          I was smiling? I reached up to feel my face and was surprised to feel myself grinning. It had been so long since I smiled. Needless to say, his comment only made my smile grow wider.

          I chuckled a bit and looked into my lap. Youngjae reached over and put his hand on top of mine and I looked up into his eyes. He looked like he was full of sunshine. Sunshine I could use in my life, but sunshine that did not seem like it could reach down into the depths where I currently dwelled.

          “Youngjae…” I sighed before pulling my hands away from his grasp.

          “Don’t.” He said, putting a finger on my lips to stop me from speaking. I shook my head trying to convey my meaning to him. “Just…don’t do this right now.” He pleaded.

          I looked down into my lap and just stared at a hole in the knee of my jeans. When he took my chin in his hand, I bit my lip to hold back the tears that were forming for no reason. He saw my teary eyes, and he gently wiped the tears away.

          Neither Yongnam nor Yongguk were ever like this. They hated when I cried. They would leave me on my own. And the fact that Youngjae was doing this, being so gentle and kind with me, only made me hurt more.

          I closed my eyes and let the tears slip through my eyelids as his thumbs carefully wiped them away. When the crying slowed and eventually stopped, I felt his lips brush my eyelids briefly before I opened my eyes to a smiling Youngjae.

          “Do you feel better?” He innocently asked.

          My mind was reeling with all these different thoughts and emotions and I really had no idea how to sift through them. I settled with just staring into his eyes; those big, brown eyes with the softest gaze.

          In response to his question I earnestly nodded.  I did feel better and it was all because of him.

          “I didn’t need tea.” I realized. That had been the first time since my mother died that I had not been soothed by tea. I had been soothed by a person. I had been soothed by Youngjae.

          “What does that mean?” Youngjae slowly inquired.

          I shook my head. “I…I don’t know.” I looked at him confused, until he stood up and walked into the kitchen.

          He held up a box of tea and asked me if I wanted any, and oddly enough, I did not feel like drinking tea at that moment. Youngjae being there for me was all that I needed.

          Hopefully I did not feel this way simply because he had been kind to me once. I knew how kindness went. Yongnam taught me very well about kindness and Yongguk show me how to apply it.

          Faking a yawn, I stretched and stood up. I scratched my head a bit as I walked towards Youngjae.

          “I’m a bit tired; I think I want to take a nap.” I told him, hoping he would understand that I wanted to be alone for a little bit.

          “Do you want me to stay here while you sleep?” His doe eyes were hard to resist. Especially with the way they seemed to call out for me. I sighed and then nodded and signaled for him to follow me to my bedroom.

          I pulled back the covers and sat on one side of the bed while Youngjae nervously stood at the foot of the bed.

          He didn’t approach until I patted the space next to me. Even then, he carefully got into the bed so that the sheet covered me and separated the two of us. I pulled the comforter up over us and we both closed our eyes and let sleep come over us.

          An hour or so later, I opened my eyes to see Youngjae was still sleeping. I took this as my chance to observe the way his chest rose and fell as he breathed. He looked so serene and at peace. His eyelids fluttered a bit in his sleep, which made me notice the way his eyelashes ghosted across his skin.

          I brought myself up so I was leaning on my elbows and got closer to his face. His cheeks were a slight rosy pink, and his lips were like rose petals. Before I could stop myself, I brought my own lips down to his. I left a short kiss and then hurriedly pretended to be sleeping again in case he woke up.

          “How was that?” A groggy grumble sounded from next to me.

          “Honestly?” I started. “It felt nice.” Clearly the nap had affected my judgment. I would have never confessed that normally.

          “That’s nice.” He simply said, before stretching and sitting up.

          I looked over and saw how sleepy he still was before I laughed a bit.

          “I think I’ll go for that tea now, what about you?” I asked with a smile on my face. Maybe Youngjae would be good for me, but I wanted to take it slow. I did not want to be abandoned again.

          He slid his fingers through mine. “Sure.” I got a bit nervous however, and pulled my hand away.

          “Not so fast.” I chided. “One small step at a time, please?” I knew he knew what I was talking about.

          “I’ve waited and tried so long already, I’m ready for anything. As long as it’s with you.” He said, before heading into the kitchen to begin making tea for the both of us.

          I could get used to this. Baby steps though, baby steps.

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A/N: So, Daehyun kind of decides that maybe Youngjae being in his life isn't such a bad thing.