Ninety eight days and it still goes on…

You might be wondering why I’m numbering the days. There’s a logical explanation for that; these are the days I’ve spent regretting my decisions. Now you might think that this girl is crazy, but I think I am, too. I should start from the beginning; it’ll make it easier to understand.

It all started with an argument over absolutely nothing…

“I hate you.”

“You barely even know me!”

“I still can hate you.”

“Well then, I hate you too!” Both of us were awkwardly screaming at each other. We tried to be civil for my best friend’s sake. She wanted us to bond since we are the people she trusts the most. That backfired quickly.

“You’re honestly so annoying.”

“And you’re ugly, whoops.” The bickering was nonstop. I could feel our friends getting irritated with us. There’s nothing I could do about it, I just hated him. But who is this him?

Cho Kyuhyun, a name I will never forget. He was arrogant and cocky, but nonetheless handsome. He seemed sweet at first, until he called me a . Yeah, it’s all fun and games until someone insults me. My best friend, Kim Nara, was completely in love with this kid. I didn’t understand why. I always had a theory that she just liked the – does that make me a bad friend?

The only thing Nara talked about was Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun. It’s like she was addicted to him. This was one of the many reasons why I didn’t like him. But he did take my best friend way from me. They were constantly together, and she didn’t have time to hang out with me. It irks me when girls change for their boyfriend.

Nara and I were having a causal conversation one day, and of course, she brought up Kyuhyun.

“Yejin… Why don’t you and Kyu get along? I don’t understand why you two hate each other!” She squeaked, causing me to roll my eyes. She always brought this up.

“We don’t get along because I don’t like him. He’s an .”

“But you’re an too… I thought you two would really like each other!”

And so it starts.

The unthinkable happened. Kyuhyun and I eventually became friends. We started hanging out every day. Even though we’re friends, he still teases me. He’s still a . Some things will never change. There’s one thing that changed – my feelings. I started getting jealous when Nara would make Kyu change his plans for her. She saw the close relationship we had and became scared. Kyuhyun always tried to keep her happy; he planned special dates and took her to different places. Nara seemed happy, but a smile can mask anyone’s true feelings.

She cheated. He was heartbroken. She left him for some other guy who “did her better” – her words, not mine. I was Nara’s best friend, but after that, I couldn’t even look at her without wanting to smack the smirk off her pretty little face. I took care of him and wiped his tears, I let him cry on my shoulder, and I fixed his shattered heart. And then I realized something.

I was in love with Cho Kyuhyun.

I fell for him, and I fell hard. Putting our past aside, he was someone who understood me. He kept me safe. He made me smile like an idiot when I was depressed. I was a fool, because I was so in love with him.

But this was just the back story; the real drama hasn’t even started yet.

-

“Kyu? Are you okay?” The sound of her voice filled my ears. Yejin appeared at my bedroom door, leaning against it slightly. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, and her hair was up in a bun. I always loved it when her hair was put up; her features were accentuated and made her look absolutely stunning.

“Hi, beautiful.” I smiled, patting the empty spot in my bed. The younger girl plopped down next to me, resting her head on my shoulder.

“I don’t know if I can stay long… I made plans with Taewon,” Yejin glanced up to analyze my expression. I wasn’t pleased, not one bit. This Taewon kid was stealing my Yejin away from me. Can’t he just find a different girl to be with?

I have to admit, I’ve always had a thing for Yejin. She annoyed the hell out of me, but she has a kind heart and always looked out for me, even before the incident. I never thought of her as girlfriend material, until the day she mended my distressed self. That was the kind of girl I needed.

She was all that I needed.

“Taewon? Oh… Yeah. That’s cool. I’m just going to, uh, catch up on some reading,” my nodding was frivolous, which made Yejin suspicious.

“What?” I snapped at her, causing me to shake off my shoulder. Yejin moved away, scoffing lightly.

“You know what? I’m done. I’m tired of it, Kyu. All I wanted was for us to be close and happy. You keep pushing me away. I did nothing wrong, and you act like I’m the source of your depression!”

Her words stung me, but I quickly retorted. “Yeah? You’re not a little ball of sunshine all the time. You’re annoying. You piss me off. I don’t understand why you come around here all the time. I don’t even want you here!”

“Oh really? I’m annoying? I piss you off? You piss me off. I’m trying to be nice to you. I’m trying to be here for you. I’m so sorry that I’m not Nara. It seems like she’s the only one you actually care about!” Yejin screeched, standing up from the bed. My blood was boiling at this point.

“I told you to never bring her up. I don’t need your pity. I don’t need you at all! You can just get the hell out of here, and don’t bother coming back!” I could feel my veins popping out of my neck. Yejin stared at me, blank and emotionless. She shook her head.

“Fine, I’ll go. I don’t need you. I never needed you. Thank you for ruining this day, and our friendship. I’m done.” She turned around, making her way out of my house, and out of my life. I heard the door slam; the house went quiet. I didn’t speak, or move. Then I realized what day it was. It was her birthday.

And I regret ever telling you to leave. I’m sorry.

-

She hasn’t called or texted. She took me seriously. I made a mistake, and I can’t fix it.

I’m stupid because I love you so much.

-

He hasn’t called or texted. He was completely serious. I should have fought back and stayed by his side.

I can’t ever forget you.