"I'm ing tired. Man, this exams is killing me as each second passes by." whined Chen as he buried his face in his hands, not able to eat his lunch because of the exhaustion.

"We know, dude. We're all passing our exams." let out Sehun as he scooted closer to a doe-eyed blond boy, planting a kiss on his temple. "Guys, do it somewhere else, please. I'm gonna puke any second now if you'll keep it up." said their tanned-skinned friend, who was hiding his face behind a wide-eyed head's back, blocking the view in front of him.

"Shut up, Kkamjong. Just shut it up." scoffed Luhan, leaning closer to Sehun who threw his arms around his boyfriend's little frame.

"Baekhyun ah, let's study together this evening, okay? I need some help with biology. I don't get why I at it so much." pouted Tao as he poked on his food, annoyed by the fact of his failure in biology.

"Well, you wouldn't if you actually payed attention to what the professor says instead of texting Kris every ing five seconds like you won't see him two hours later anyway. But sure. I need a study buddy anyway." smiled Baekhyun as he continued to eat his lunch, trying to ignore Tao's cries, then giggles and also avoiding to look at his boyfriend, Chanyeol, who was eating like a pig and ew, it was ing gross.
"Say, Chanyeol. You're not passing your exams or what? You seem so ing relaxed, killing the food like that." pointed Chen, disgusted as Chanyeol kept letting food fall off the corners of his mouth.

"I do have exams, I just don't care. Not as much as you guys do." laughed Chanyeol, food flying everywhere on Chen's face.

", Chanyeol, the is wrong with you. Spitting food on people's faces like a ing idiot. Gross." cried Chen as he shot glares at the giant boys. He knew that it won't kill him or cause him anything else that would bring him some peace of mind but oh well. He still did it. "I'm sorry, really." pouted Chanyeol as he tried to take the food off Chen's face using his hands. "Ew, NO. Keep.Your.Hands.Off.My.FACE." screamed the shorter of the two.

Baekhyun quickly pulled Chanyeol back to his seat, patting his back. "It's okay, Chan. Let him deal with that himself. You did enough." he smiled at his lost boyfriend, who returned the smile almost immediately and leaned closer to peck the latter's lips.
"I don't know what I'll do with you, guys." sighed Kyungsoo, patting Jongin's head who was crying on his shoulder because of the so-not-appropriate-acts his friends were doing.

"I wanna go home." cried Jongin.






It was a saturday night, and everyone was at Sehun and Luhan's dorm room as they agreed to meet there after the exams' week was over. Finally, no more stress and s to deal with.

"Jongin, put the food down. Damn it, wait for everyone to sit then start eating." shouted Luhan from across the kitchen at Jongin, who was in the living room, stealing bites from the food on the dinning table. "Calm down, those are only tiny bites." he rolled his eyes, putting the chicken leg back down. "Yes, as tiny as your huge mouth, Kkamjong." scoffed the blond boy as he made his way to the table, pushing Jongin away. "Go play away with Kyungsoo, I can't afford you eating all the food before the others can even put their asses on the chairs." pouted Luhan, and Jongin found it too cute so he didn't say anything back and just walked back to the sofa, where the rest of the ten were.

It was a beautiful night, everyone was laughing, playing, with Chen trolling around and Kris telling jokes that were too lame for the others' liking, but Tao laughed at them anyway because it was Kris and only god knows how much of effort he puts in those jokes hoping to make his friends laugh. Yeah, right. Like it was that easy.

Yixing was glad that everyone was happy, at least no one noticed the pained expression he wore whenever Kris scooted closer to Tao, or whenever he held his hand, or even hugged him.

He had always have this huge crush on Kris, his best friend, the person he trusted the most, he couldn't stop himself. Even after he got himself a boyfriend, Joonmyun, those feelings just wouldn't go away.

He sighed then looked around, and for a moment, he felt relieved that no one noticed.

But Yixing was wrong, so wrong. Because Joonmyun saw everything.





It was raining, and he was drunk like . He didn't realize where he was going until he found himself in front of Kris' apartment door. Yixing knocked on the wooden door loudly, but for seconds only.

The door was soon opened, revieling a wide-eyed Kris. "Yixing, are you okay? Do you ne-" Before he could stop himself, Yixing was kissing Kris like there was no tomorrow, fists clunching on both of Kris' sides.

He felt Kris struggle, trying to push him away and he succeeded, but Yixing wasn't going to give up that easily, he was too drunk to give up or even realize the stupid things he was doing. So he jumped on Kris again, attacking his lips.

Everything seemed so right for a moment, until a faint voice called "Duizhang.."

Tao was standing there, lips and legs trembling, eyes wide, filled with tears, a hand above his mouth. He didn't remember when Kris managed to push him away and run to Tao's side, but he was thrown on the cold floor. He looked up and his eyes landed on Kris' back. His arms were in the air, like he didn't know where to put them. He looked like he was trying to explain something to Tao. But the dark haired boy kept shaking his head.

Yixing didn't really know what was going on anymore. His vision was becoming blurry, then everything turned into a patch of black.

"Yixing..."

He heard a soft voice calling him. "Yixing." the voice called his name once again.

"Why did you do this, Yixing. Why are you such a er? Disappoing the people the cared for you. Why." the soft voice suddenly changed into a crying, angry and deep one. "You are a er. And you'll aways be a er. You ruined everything. Yixing, Yixing, Yixing." It was torturing him. He wanted the voice to go away, it was paining him.

"Yixing?" his eyes fluttered open, his whole body shaking, hard. Yixing felt a hand on his cheek so he looked up. He was met with a worried Luhan, who was caressing his cheek lovingly. "Are you okay?" he nodded.

"Here, drink this." Yixing grabbed the glass of water that Luhan handed him. He didn't realize that he was that thirsty until the water ran down his throat. That cooled him down for a moment.

"You were having a nightmare, are you alright?" asked him Luhan once again. And then, he remembered his dream. "I am fine, don't worry." he managed to smile at the blonde boy who smiled back as tenderly as one can smile.

"That's a relief." let out Luhan as he patted Yixing's head. He looked around for a moment then it hit him, Why is Luhan here. No, why is he here. This is Luhan's room.

"Why am I at your place?" he asked immediately, adjusting himself so that he was half sitting up, supporting himself on his elbows. "Well.." the look on Luhan's face worried him. Did anything happen back at his dorm? Did anything happen to Joonmyun? The last thought knocked the air out of his lungs.

"Kris called me to come and take you home. You passed out in front of his front door. You were too drunk." said Luhan while looking down at his lap. Why wasn't he looking at him? "Kris? Why was I at his place? Did anything happen?" he asked again, now he was extremely worried. "I.. Actually.. Well.." stuttered Luhan.

" spit it out, Luhan." half-shouted Yixing, his heart was feeling heavy as ever. "Okay! You were too drunk. You kissed Kris. Tao saw you two. Tao didn't seem to believe anything that Kris tried to tell him. When I arrived, Tao was no longer there, just Kris sitting on the couch." explained Luhan as he kept his head hanging low.

"We all knew about your crush on Kris. But this went too far." he added.

His arms suddenly felt too weak to keep him up so he let himself fall on his back, down the mattress. "And Joonmyun?" Luhan's head snapped at the question. "I don't know. I didn't talk to him." answered Luhan, looking at his friend with wide, worried eyes.

"I totally screwed everything, didn't I?" he said in a broking voice as a tear made its way down his cheek.


He was standing there since fifteen minutes already. He just didn't find the force to raise his hand and knock on the door, his own door. How could he face Joonmyun?

He was sure that Joonmyun already knew. And it killed him. Joonmyun did nothing but love and care for him, but he ed it all up. He shook his head, took a long breath and wore a serious expression. He had to do this, so he knocked on the door.

10 seconds after, the door swung open and a poker-faced Joonmyun appeared. "Hey." smiled Joonmyun. Yixing felt like burying himself on the spot.

"Joonmyun, look, I'm sorry, I really am. You don-". "No, I am sorry." smiled Joonmyun again, but the hurt was evident in his eyes.

He didn't understand what his boyfriend was apologizing for. He was about to ask him when he noticed that Joonmyun was getting something out, suitcases. His suitcases, he realized.

"I am sorry for forcing you into this. But you're free now. Goodbye, Yixing." that was the last thing he heard before the door was shut closed in his face.

Then it hit him. His boyfriend kicked him out. Joonmyun, who never kicks anyone, just kicked him out. He didn't realize that he was no longer breathing until he started choking.

His heart suddenly started hurting, so bad. He thought he had a crush on Kris. The pain he felt because of Kris was nothing compared to the one he was feeling at that very moment.

And it hit him again, he just lost the person he loves to the person he likes. And he knew he was getting none.





"He kicked you out? Joonmyun? Are you sure it was Joonmyun? Maybe he was drunk. I'm sure that something was off." said Luhan as Yixing told him about what happened and his need for a place to stay at since Joonmyun kicked him out earlier. He knew that Luhan wasn't going to refuse. He wasn't sure about Sehun though.

"The only thing that's off is me, Luhan. Drop it." he managed to say, biting on his lower lip to keep the tears from falling.

Luhan soon noticed and patted his friend's back. "Hey, it's okay. Look, you can use my room. I barely use it anyway." smiled Luhan, dragging his friend along. "Don't worry, things will get to the way they were before. I promise. I'll let you help yourself with the rest now. Call me if you need anything, I'll be in the kitchen." smiled Luhan as he gave Yixing a hug before walking away and closing the door behind him.


Later that night, Yixing was laying on his bed, crying his heart out. The words of the letter that Joonmyun hid inside the pockets of his favorite sweater were killing him.

I'm sorry for forcing you into this. I knew since the start that I wouldn't be able to win your heart. I lied to myself because the reality was too painful. I wanted to be the one that can make you smile, I tried to be. But I failed. I tried not to notice the way you look at him. The way you act around him. How you're too happy when it's only him. And how you're too uncomfortable when Tao tags along. I'm sorry. I was being a selfish , forcing you to be with me. I'm sorry, Yixing. Please, be happy.

His tears poured down even harder as he remembered each word. He screwed it up.



"Why the are these two here?" half shouted Sehun who just arrived as spotted both Jongin and Chanyeol sitting on the sofa, watching whatever it was playing right then on the Tv.

"We're homeless for the moment, so please bear with us." said Jongin as he raised a hand, not even bothering himself to look at Sehun who was boiling inside. Chanyeol still managed to smile though, polite enough.

First, it was Yixing, now these two? It's not like he hated his friends, of course not, but he appreciated privacy. He needed an "alone time with Luhan".

"Baekhyun kicked Chanyeol out while Kyungsoo kicked Jongin out. They had nowhere else to go, so they came here." explained Luhan who was making his way to where Sehun was standing. "Welcome back, Sehun ah." smiled the blonde boy as he pecked his boyfriend's lips.

Sehun only nodded and shot the shorter boy a small smile before looping one arm around the latter's thin waist. "Why did you get your kicked out, idiots?" he asked, throwing the two boys judging looks.

"Baekhyunnie accused me of wanting to get into Kris' pants after I told him that I can't stop being friends with my best friend just because his cousin, who is my best friend's ex now, was cheated on by him. He didn’t even cheat on him anyway." said Chanyeol in a quick pace, making it hard for Sehun to understand his words, but he did anyway.

"That sounded stupid." said Sehun before turning his gaze to Jongin, "And you?" he asked.

"Well, the same thing as Chanyeol. Kyungsoo said that I'm a jerk because I stood up for Yixing, who's my friend and my dance buddy, just like you are. I can't get him out of my life just because he, somehow, broke my brother's heart. Bull. I understand that Joonmyun and Kyungsoo are close, but this is crap. Joonmyun is my brother but you don’t see me crying over his broken heart." scoffed Jongin as he let out a sigh. It was obvious that he didn't enjoy this. Everyone knew that he had a crush on Kyungsoo but both of them were too stupid to realize it.

" happens." Sehun rolled his eyes as he walked to the kitchen, Luhan still in his arms. "Can't we kick them out too?" he whispered in his lover's ear.

"You know we can't, Sehun ah. They are our friends." pouted Luhan as he looked at Sehun with his doe like eyes. Yeah. No need to mention that Sehun is a er for those. "Ugh, fine." he groaned, but the anger soon vanished as Luhan pulled him down for a kiss. He needed one so badly.

It’s been a week since Yixing last saw Kris or Joonmyun. He wondered how he could fix things. Maybe he could explain to Tao and make the two get back together. But he wasn’t sure he could fix anything that was related to Joonmyun. He stood there for a good five minutes, thinking, but nothing seemed right to do.

He was walking back to Luhan’s dorm when he spotted Tao walking down the river. He hesitated for a moment but he knew that if he wouldn’t do it now, he never would. So, he walked toward him.

“Tao.” called Yixing, voice so unsure as ever. Tao’s head snapped up as he heard his name being called. He looked back to see an awkward Yixing standing behind him. All the hurt and anger from that night rushed back.

“What do you need?” asked Tao, anger controlling his voice. “I only want to talk to you. Please.” said Yixing, voice pleading. Tao would have believed it if that scene stopped replaying in his head like it was some kind of movie.

“I have nothing to say to you, Ge.” and with that, Tao started walking away. But he felt a hand pulling him back. “Please, Tao. I want to talk to you. You don’t have to tell me anything. Just please, listen to me. This is so wrong. Please.” Yixing was shaking, eyes filled with tears that threatened to fall. “Okay.” sighed Tao. “I’m listening.”

Yixing stepped back, took a long breath, then looked up at Tao. “I’m so sorry, Tao. I really am. I ed everything up and believe me, I had no idea what I was doing. That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my whole life. What happened that day, that was a crap. I’m sorry, okay? Believe me, it’s my fault, I know that I screwed up, but please, don’t leave Kris. He really loves you. It was me, I, I always fail. I’m sorry.” he didn’t realize when he started crying until he felt a hand on his cheek, wiping the wetness away from them.

“Ge, don’t cry.” was all that the dark haired boy said before pulling his ge in a hug, trying to comfort him.

Yixing broke in Tao’s arms. After all he did, here was the younger, hugging him and telling him not to cry when all he should have done was punching him square on the face.



“Where’s everyone?” asked Sehun as soon as he entered. No one was in the living room. He could smell  something being cooked so he assumed it was Luhan.

“Out”. a soft voice said but it wasn’t Luhan. It took him a while to recognize the voice. “Taeyeon?” he half shouted, half cried. “Where’s the noona you idiot.” he had no time to react before he felt a hand slapping the back of his head.

“That hurts. What are you doing here and where’s Luhan?” he asked as he rubbed the back of his head. “Luhan is sick, fever. I’m making something for him t-” she didn’t have the time to finish her sentence as Sehun rushed to his room. “the just happened.” then she turned back to the kitchen.

“Luhan, are you okay?” asked Sehun as he sat on the edge of the bed, where his boyfriend was laying. He looked pale, but his cheeks were too red. He put a hand on his forehead, the fever wasn’t that high, Taeyeon must have been taking a good care of him. He smiled at the thought.

“I’m good. Taeyeon took care of me while you were out.” the blond boy managed to smile as his boyfriend leaned down to plant a kiss on his forehead. “I’m glad.” whispered Sehun before helping himself under the sheets. He pulled Luhan closer, until there was no more room between the two. “I missed you.” confessed Sehun, his hand finding its way to Luhan’s messed hair. He felt Luhan hugging him a little tighter as he buried his face in the other’s neck to whisper back an “I missed you too.”





It’s been weeks since the night that Yixing wished he never lived. Joonmyun was still ignoring him whenever they met by accident at the cafeteria. He didn’t dare to talk to him anyway.

He was quite relieved that the things between Kris and Tao were getting back to normal, he’d smile everytime he spotted the two laughing together. It eased the pain inside of him.

“Dude, stop poking your food like that. If you’re not hungry, then let me eat it.” grinned a happy Jongin, but the grin soon vanished as Kyungsoo slapped the back of his head. “Of course that he’ll eat that. Right, Yixing?” smiled Kyungsoo as looked at the Chinese dancer. Yixing felt relieved that Kyungsoo was no longer treating him coldly. It made him feel acceptable. Somehow, forgiven.

“Yeah.” he nodded with a small smile and proceeded to eat his lunch.



They spent the rest of day dancing. Yixing was exhausted. He hadn’t danced since a while now. It was nice to feel the sweat wetting his face instead of the tears. He smiled as he looked at his two friends, Sehun and Jongin, who smiled back warmly. It has always been like this. Dancing made them laugh like idiots. It made them feel happy.


He was exiting the practice room when he noticed someone standing there, looking at him. And for a moment, he couldn’t breathe.

It was Joonmyun, smiling at him. Yixing felt all the regret, guilt and pain hitting on his heart. How could he allow himself to lose such a person. His eyes widened as Joonmyun stepped closer, and closer until few inches only were separating them. “Do you think we can go grab some coffee, somewhere?”.

At that very moment, Yixing felt like his legs couldn’t keep him up anymore, so he fell. He fell in Joonmyun’s waiting arms, breaking into faint sobs and cries. Choking out separated words. “Sorry” “forgive me” “I’m an idiot, please take me back.”



“I think I like it this way the best.” whispered Sehun to himself as he gazed at his friends, squeezing Luhan’s hand tightly.

Finally, all of them were sitting on the same table, eating all together, smiling at each other.

He was happy that Tao and Kris got back together, it was nice to see Tao laughing at Kris’ lame jokes again.

While Baekhyun came running looking for Chanyeol the other day, telling them about the nightmare he had, and how he thought that he lost Chanyeol forever. Yeah, right.

Jongin ended up confessing to Kyungsoo after what seemed like ages. The memory of Jongin’s expression when he realized that he likes Kyungsoo still made him laugh like there was no tomorrow.

When Joonmyun and Yixing, they seemed kind of awkward but the smile on Yixing’s lips and the look in Joonmyun’s eyes told him otherwise.

His heart felt warm. He liked to think that they’ll be like this forever.


“So, Xiumin, you’re majoring in acting? That’s pretty amazing.” beamed Kyungsoo, arms around Jongin’s waist. Xiumin nodded slightly, smiling shyly. “Yeah, thank you.”

“Stop flirting around.” scoffed Jongin, poking his new boyfriend’s head, annoyed. “You shouldn’t find anyone amazing but me.” he added as a smirk made its way to his lips. Kyungsoo only sighed as he looked back at Luhan who just shrugged, laughing.

“You look like Baozi.” suddenly blurted out Chen, And with that, ten heads snapped at his words, ten mouths gaped at him, while twenty eyes looked at him like he just grew a second head.

“I guess I like this way better.” smirked Sehun.