Yuri

Three weeks later.

    Saturday morning I looked ainto my full-lenght mirror and grimaced. My eyes were red and puffy, and there were tearstrains on my cheeks. I had to remind myself that this nightmare was real -- my father was sending me to summer camp, and I'd be away from New York City for one whole month.

    The night of the party I'd gotten home late, really late. After my horrible encounter with Lee Donghae, I' d been rentless and feeling a little wild. So When Siwon suggested that I blow off my curfew and go with him to an after-hour dance rave, I'd agreed. I'd never seen him so furious, and he'd decided at that noment that Siwon was the child of Satan.

    So now that my father was leaving for a cross-country lecture tour, he'd felt iit necessary to put hundreds of miles between Siwon and me. No aarguments, no logical discussion, no pleading. My fate was in my father's hands, end of story.

      There was a soft knock on my door, and I quickly rubbed th dampness from my eyes.

" Come in" I called.

" Hi babe " Siwon stood in the doorway. I n sharply creased khakis and a new shirt he was, as usual, the perfect male specimen.

" Siwon ". I said experiencing a fresh wave of misery. He held a large brown PINK flush stuff toy.

    I flew into his arms and pressed my face against his chest.

" We dont want to get tears on the new Armani shirt" He joked, lightly punching one of my cheeks.

" Is that for me?" I asked, pointing at the stuffed toy.

    He smiled and nodded, giving me the stuffed toy.

" He can be my substitute while you're away. I dont want you to put your arms around anyone but him"

    I hugged the stuffed toy.

" Siwon, how could I even look at another guy when I have you waiting for me at home?"

      As soon as I'd uttered the words my entire being was gripped by agonizing insecurity. A guy like Siwon wouldnt be alone ffor long-- not if he didnt want to be.

" You will be waiting for me, wont you?" My heart stopped as I waited for his answer.

" Of course Yul." He said, dropping a butterfly kisses on each of my eyelids. " You and I are the hottest couple Yes! Magazine had ever covered. I'd never break up our Dynamic duo" He assured.

" I'll email you everyday" I promised.

 Siwon nodded ." and You'll call me "

" As soon as I get there , I wish you could at least come to the train station with me."

He sighed. "So do I. But I've got that business meeting to attend to"

" I guess I should finish getting my stuff together" I whispered.

" I'll go.." Siwon said, but he didnt move from his spot. He stared at me, then pull me almost roughly against him.

    He pressed his lips hard against mine, and a passionate kiss exploded between us. I felt the quick rush of adrenaline that comes with danger. My father was somewhere nearby, and he could discover us locked in this tangled embrace at any moment. Finally I stepped back.

" You really should go" I said weakly.

     Siwon squeezed my hand and gently tugged at the strand of my hair.

" Dont forget me " He turned abruptly, and I watched his back retreat down the hallway.

" Never" I said aloud.

" Juan is already at the station with your bags" my father said an hour later.

   We were in a hired car, making our way slowly toward Penn Station through the heavy Midtown traffic.

" I know, Dad Im freaking 22" I said sighing. He'd gone over the details of my departure a million times, guilt ridden that he wouldnt actually be able to see me to the train platform. Instead Juan, an Filipino man who worked in our apartment building.

    Minutes later my eyes flew open when.the driver slammed on his brakes. " Penn Station" he barked.

    I gathered my big leather purse and the PINK stuff toy Siwon had given me, thrn put a hand on the car door handle.

    He cleared his throat.

" I guess this is it " He said.

" Guess so"

     I watched him bite his lip, then sigh heavily.

" I love you, Yuri. You know that, dont you?"

     Staring at the crack maroon vinyl of the car seat, I nodded almost imperceptibly. The huge knot in my stomach dissolved a little.

" Yeah dad, I know"

" Im not trying to hurt you by sending you to camp. I think being away from this crazy city will help you learn some important things about yourself" He paused for a moment.

" Things your mother would have...." His voice trailed off, and he looked at his watch.

" Well, nevermind.... You'd better keep going"

" yeah, you have to catch your flight" I said opening the door.

" Good-bye Dad" I said.

         As I banged the door shut I heard my father speak to the driver. " La Guardia Airport" He said.

     The car stretched off, then got stuck in traffic as the driver waited to make a left at Thirty-second Street. I turned toward the doors of Penn Station.

    I stidied my reflection in the glass, taking note of my tight fitting designer jeana and soft leather jacket. With my huge stuff toy and eexpensive purse, I looked like a girl who owned the city. A final tear rolled down my cheek and splashed the dirty sidewalk. I was alone.

     Penn station was as crowded, smelly and generally as horrid as U'd remembered. Men in suits and women with babies were rushing in every direction, many looking as if they were being pursued by some terrifying creature that would eat them up if they didnt make their train on time. 

    I crossed the station, heading toward the huge hanging board that listed train departure time. Juan waved me over. He was standing next to a pile of my Louis Vuitton luggage, smiling.

" Hey Juan, what's the word?" I asked, relieved to see a familiar face.

" Your train's five minutes late, Hija." He responded.

" Im going to the ladies' room" I told him.

" Hurry " He said, looking anxiously at the board.

   I nodded. As I walked, I noticed kids who looked like they were for camp too. Great, I think they would my students for a month for that stupid camp. Actually, it's one ofy dad's plan to produce a camp for the kids during summer but this would be my first time to actually participate.

    The bathroom was more or less disgusting, and I had to wait in a noisy line for a free stall. I tried not to breathe through my nose-- the hot, humid air was anything but aromatic.

    On my way out of the restoom I washed my hands quickly. The trip had taken longer than I'd anticipated, and I could imagine how worried Juan was getting. I pushed towards the big board, my purse banging against my hips as I squeezed past person after person.

 " All aboard, track fourteen" Juan yelled as soon as he saw me.

    We raced to the track, and for a moment I fantasized about actually missing my train. I could stay our empty apartment and See Siwon as much as I wanted. My father would never have to know......

    I shook my head. Not going to camp was an impossible dream.

    " You'll have to get someone to help you on the other end" He warned.

" Okay " I said dully.

" Have fun, Hija.. Ingat " Juan said. I nodded even though I dont understand what the hell is that last word. He touched my shoulder and was gone. Just like everyone else. I thought grimly.

    I sat down and grabbed the free YES!  magazine that was in the mesh pocket attached to the seat front of me. Inside there was a full photo spread of the Midwest, and I tried to imagine my dad in a Nebreska cornfield. The mental picture made me laugh for the first time that day.

    On the next page I smiled bitterly, It was a picture if Siwon advertising DG shades. Have I mentioned to all of you that my boyfriend is a top model. You can definitely see him in any magazine. Anyways, I already miss him. Wait. Stuff Stoy. Where's my Stuff Toy? The stuff toy.  My eyes frantically searched the erea around my seat. I stood up and looked into the overhead compartment. Suddenly, with a jolt of high-voltage electricity, I remembered that I'd put Siwon's stuff toy on the sink counter in the ladies's room. Then I'd rushed out.... and left the stuff toy behind.

" How long until the train leaves?" I yelled to the man across me.

    The man looked up from his book, obviously surprised by the urgency in my voice. He glance at his digital watch.

" About three minutes" He said quickly.

     I pulled my hair calculating the time it would take me to backtrack to the ladies room. I picked up my purse and started toward the door. If I sprinted all the way, I could make it.

     " Watch my bags, will you?" I called over my shoulder. I didnt care wether or not the man had heard me. I was on a mission.

    I ran across the crowded station. As I careened by a boy carrying a skateboard, my foot caught on a middle aged woman's wheeled suitcase. The suitcase tipped over and I tripped, landing hard on my hands and knees.

" watch were you're going, lady!" she shouted, bending over to upright the suitcase.

    I was too desperate even to consider making an apology. As soon as I was back on my feet I continued on at equally fast pace.

    Finally at the door of the restroom I skidded to a stop. A little red-haired girl was standing next to her mother,who was reapplying magenta lipstick. In the litte girl's hands was my precious stuff toy.

     " That's mine!" I shouted, lunging toward the stuff toy.

    The little girl looked terrified, and she immediately began wailing that echoed off the white-tailed walls.

     " It was just sitting on the counter" the woman explained, handing me the bear while simultaneously shielding her daughter from murderous glare. " We thought it would be forgotten"

    I clutched the animal and leaned against the counter, gasping for my breath.

" Im sorry" I wheezed.

" My...... boyfriend.....camp... he gave..." I was out of breath.

     The woman smiled sympathetically.

" No harm done dear, You've it back, safe and sound"

     The encounter with the maternal woman shook me. I imagined my own mother, protecting me from harm and drying my tears. I hugged the stuff toy even tighter and spun toward the door. My mental clock was tickling loudly. If I missed the train now, after Juan had seen me safely aboard, my father would first kill me, then ground me for the rest of my life

   The station was every bit as crowded as it had been earlier. Blurry inages of bright T-shirt logos, movie posters, and restaurant signs sped past my line of vision as I raced to track fourteen. Then I slowed, suddenly confused.

Where was the track fourteen?

   I'd been running so fast that I'd forgotten to pay attention to exactly where I was going. I stopped and rapidly scanned the huge room. As soon as I saw the track number I resumed my sprint.

   Three steps appeared before me, seemingly out of nowhere. I leapt down them , determined not to waste a second. But just before my feet hit the floor beneath me, one of my heels grazed the bottom step.

  For a moment everything was in slow motion. Then time fast forwarded, and I lost my precarious hold on balance.  The white linoleum floor was powerless to stop my fall.

    From somewhere far away I heard a loud crack as my head hit the hard floor. My world slipped away as the view of grimy white linoleum was replaced by a roaring, black darkness.