Chapter 21

Good-byes

---Flashback---

"Are you positive about this?" My cousin spoke. Everybody else was fast asleep in their rooms with the exception of Jung Min who had his music humming in the background.

"I can help." We both turned to find Kyu Jong standing outside his bedroom door. "My parents own a vacation home in Osaka towards the country side, we can lend it to you."

"Are you sure about that Kyu Jong-oppa? I don't want it to trouble you or your family." I said.

He smiled and shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I just want you to be happy, you've been stressing so much lately, maybe it was about time you returned to doing the things you loved."

"Like shopping." I offered.

He chuckled. "Yeah, like shopping. I guess that's what Japan is for." I nodded and thanked him. In a way, Kyu Jong was like the brother I never had. He loved me in the sense that he liked to protect me and though he was the last one of the members I had gotten to know, I was happy that I had met such a pure and innocent soul as him.

"So...should we call Jae Joong and the guys then?" My cousin asked. I nodded and laid back on the couch where I had then fallen asleep on before being carried off into Jung Min's room.

--- End Flashback---

"You're home!" Junsu cheered as he ran up to me and dragged me inot the house while Hyun Joong and Jung Min took their time walking in. I was dragged off to the bedroom (no literally, it was a bedroom, it only had beds inside where all the members of DBSK and I slept, all the dressers were actually in the hall.) Inside, on my bed was Changmin who presented me with a brand new dress. Reluctantly, I went in to slip on the soft yellow bubble dress that was strapless and had a flower over the heart on the right side.

"You designed this one too, didn't you?" I asked him as I stepped out of the bathroom with the perfectly fitted dress. He nodded with a grin and motioned for me to spin.

"Gorgeous." He said. "This is the dress you'll wear tomorrow. You'll wear it, won't you?" I sighed but promised him I would. With that, I changed out and began packing. Jung Min and my cousin had stayed for that part, both refusing to leave my side and helping me pack even so, the house of 8 was silent. These times were never really good moments after all, the end of the day only marked one thing, the end of DBSK. For now of course. 

We had dinner together, the six of us. My cousin and Jung Min had already left to leave us with privacy, promising that they'd be back to see me off the day after. We all sat in silence as we chewed on Jae Joong's all too spicy food. No one complained though, in fact, we all ate it because we knew that it was something Jae had purposely prepared for us to makes us remember him.

Shim Changmin was the first one to break down crying in the middle of the meal. Then Junsu and even Yoochun followed after. I watched miserably and held back as Yunho and Jae Joong avoided their members sobs and continued eating. After all, they were the parents of the group, they forced themselves to stay strong. This was their last meal as a group together, they had a final lunch planned with the Casseopians right before leaving the next day.

I attended that meeting with them, wearing Changmin's designed dress and having Yunho fix my hair for the last occasion one last time. I wasn't a Casseopian, I had to admit. Sure, I've always loved DBSK's music but never celebrities in general. However, the fact that I wasn't a die hard fan didn't mean I didn't love them after the 3 months that I had known them. After all, it hurt me to watch DBSK split up because I knew for a fact that they could've and would've gotten so much further.

That night, we were at the airport bidding our good-byes. Everybody was there. Everybody except two. "Where's Joon?" I asked Amy as she strangled me in a hug.

She stepped back and frowned. "I told him to come..." I nodded in understanding.

"And Young Saeng?"

"We couldn't reach him." Nami spoke. I thanked her for trying anyways and gave her a hug as well. She must've been the newest friend I had made and at first, her peculiar habits scared me but eventually I got used to it and I knew for sure she and my cousin had a long way to go.

An obvious crowd was forming then but security cuards held them out. The crowd must've been at least 5 times greater than usual now that all fans knew that DBSK would be here as well as many Triple S's.

I turned to Kyu Jong next. "Take care of Amy for me. And thanks for everything." I told him. He nodded and held me in his arms for a few moments.

I then gave respective hugs towards Yunho and Changmin. "Appa, thanks for taking care of me, stay strong alright?...Changmin-ah, thanks for everything. The dresses especially and tell your mom I'll visit soon." He nodded with his giant innocent eyes. They then turned to Jae Joong, Yoochun and Junsu, many of them near years once again.

I took a deep breath and made sure I still had my emotions in check before turning to face the last two. "You have to stay strong, you must stay strong for them. You can't let them see you in pain." I thought to myself but all that came crashing down when I turned to see Jung Min bawling in Hyun Joong-oppa's arms.

"Jung Min-ah, you stupid horse, get your over here." I said as I pulled him away from my cousin and into my arms. Flashbacks came of the first time i had met him. They way he had towered over me and cheerfully asked me if I was an anti-fan, that's right cheerfully, Jung Min did everything with a smile on his face and it hurt me to see him like he was now, all torn up and depressed.

I didn't know when it had started but somewhere along the way, I had started crying along with him. I had to admit now, at first I laughed at his stage name, 'the y charisma' but it was more than true. A person with great charisma makes his presence known and it was true, I was drawn to his emotions, his actions.

"Sara, Sarangheyo...Neoman Saraghandago." he mumbled into my shoulder. "I'll wait. I'll wait as long as it takes and I'll be there to protect you. I can wait Sara, I can hold back and wait until you accept my feelings but for now, know that you'll always have me here as your best friend and if you ever want to run away again, I'll go with you. I'll bring you where ever you wanna go." 

"Kombawoyo, Minnie. You don't know how much I owe you already." I said to him.

"You don't owe me anything. In fact, if you weren't here with me the entire time, I might've not been able to pull through with the Ga Eul thing and all." He replied.

'That's right.' I reminded myself. 'Jung Minnie was always strong on stage and for his friends but he, himself was never strong all the way through. And maybe that's what had drawn me to him ever since our first encounter. The fact that I knew I met this helpless horse for a reason. To make him stronger and at the same time, having him pull me through.'

"Min Hee-ah." Jae Joong's tortured voice called over the roar of the crowd which actually intensified after they'd heard him speak. "We should go now." He said.

I nodded and separated myself from him Jung Min only to find myself searching for my cousin. He seemed to be facing a few fans rather than me which I found offensive because after all, I was his cousin, couldn't he at least say good-bye or something? But as I looked closer, it didn't seem right. My 24 year old cousin was...crying? I went up to him immediately.

"Yah! Kim Hyun Joon!" I called. He reluctantly turned to face me, tears on his face. I sighed and dragged myself over to fix up his image. "Babo."

"W-What? Are you talking about me?" He replied.

"No Sherlock." I mumbled and took him into my arms. "Oppa. Really, thanks for everything. Thanks for allowing me to live with you guys and taking care of me and giving me a place where I can feel... loved."

"You missed something." He said. I watched him in curiosity. "Something along the lines of 'thanks for putting up with me for the past 3 months.'"

I rolled my eyes and thanked him for that. With that, I turned to where Jae Joong, YooChun, and Junse were waiting.

"I guess this is good-bye." I said to everyone else but still, I couldn't help myself from searching for the last two. As I turned around, I spotted them running in from the opposite direction in the corner of my eye.

"Yah! You dare leave without talking to me first?" Young Saeng said with a glare on his face. He reached me first but stopped to have Baby run up to me. His hands held a surprise behind his back and I nodded at him suspiciously.

"It's just a little something Young Saeng and I put together last night. We had to pull an all-nighter so sorry that we were late." He handed me a box that had a slim ribbon wrapped around it and a card tucked carefully inside.

"A cake?" I questioned. They nodded. I didn't know what touched me more. The fact that these two idiots were possibly quarreling the whole night which made them run in late or the fact that they baked me a cake which might not be able to pass through airport security meaning I wouldn't even be able to take it with me and even if so, might poison me to death.

I handed the cake off to Jae Joon because the same two idiots seemed to have more to give me. Joon reached into his bag first and pulled out a note book.

"I spent all morning looking for this because I wanted you to read it. The main director of DSP had us each write in a journal and this was from my debut days. It probably has some answers in there that you wanted to know about regarding my...past and maybe in time, you would forgive me." He said and handed me another one. "This one was from the day I met you. I didn't know why I wrote it in at first but I guess. it's my gift to you now." 

I thanked him and held him in an embrace, being fully aware of all the cameras around. He however, reached down and gave me a lingering peck on the lips before allowing Young Saeng to step in. 

He stepped up to me with a bouquet of white roses in one hand and his camera (with the case) in the other. He handed me his beloved camera first.

"Inside are pictures of all of us and a couple of videos too, so you won't forget us. Also, I'll let you borrow the camera for now, for your trip. Borrow in saying that in the end, you'll return it to me."

"So it's not for me." I said cutting in.

"Nope, it's for me. I want to see how much you would actually miss me." He said. I rolled my eyes. "But you can have the spare memory card inside. I left a message for you in there. And...here." He handed me the roses and by the time I looked up again, his face was flushed bright red.

I couldn't help but let out an 'aw' at the sight and hugged him tightly against me. "Thank you that meant a lot to me." I told him. 

"Of course. It's because I love you." He replied. "Just don't break the camera alright?"

"Gosh you love birds, we're gonna miss the flight!" Yoochun yelled at us. Many Triple S's gave him the stare and then turned to us to see the proof for their own eyes. It was right then that Young Saeng pulled me in and our lips met. I refused to let myself slip into the bliss but in the end, I gave up just as he pulled away. Cameras were flashing instantly, 300 times faster than they were in the beginning. 

"You better hurry up or you'll miss your flight." He said.

"What flight? We're in private jet!" I accused. He pulled me into a hug.

"Sara, I won't lose you. Not to Joon, not to anyone because you're my princess and I love you. I love you with all my heart and...I'm gonna miss you. You have to go now." With that, he shoved me towards Yoochun who caught me in his arms. 

"Take care of her. It'll take some work." He shouted.

I opened my mouth to protest but found no strength to. Instead, they were tears. This was good-bye.

---

October 28th, 2010

Good-bye. I tried to understand what those words truly meant back when my parents had sent me of to Korea for the first time but no feelings came to mind. Now, as I looked back at the faces I was leaving behind, each and every one of them that I had learned to love more and more, and every moment I'd spent with them, I realized I didn't want to say good-bye.

I tried very hard to understand the meaning of Good-bye. All the feelings I had felt at that moment. Love, pain, sadness, regret, and memories, a lot of memories.

But then I reminded myself. This was not at all a Good-bye meant to break me down but rather a new beginning. I would see these people once again because I knew I had met them for a reason. After my 'break', I'd return to them because for every day that I spent away from them, I realized I was just falling in love with them more and more.

A/N: THAT'S THE END! Thanks guys for reading and supporting. Questionnaires are still being accepted if you guys haven't handed it in yet. Also, please stay tuned for the third and final part  of the series: Loving you more and more. Link and first chapter with be up A.S.A.P. Also, if anyones interested, I'd like to co-write a SS501 fanfic because I'm currently bored. I was thinking something along the lines of romance and there might be a few rated M scenes if you guys are up to it. So message me and we can talk things through. My e-mail is on my profile towards the bottom if anyone is interested. Thanks again!