Story Review

Title: (3//3)

Poster/Background:(2//2)

Character Development: (8//10)

Foreward/Intro: (8.5//10)

Grammar: (5.5//10)

Storyline: (12//15)

Originality: (3.5//5)

Story Flow: (7//10)

Plot: (12//15)

Overall: (18//20)

Review's Comment

Listening to "The one that got away" by Katy Perry because your story reminded me of the song. "In another life, I would be your girl, I would make you stay, so I don't have to say you were the one that got away.." Your story was really touching and left a bittersweet ending because Jaejoong wanted to finish his "final" mission so he can spend the rest of his life starting over living peacefully with Effy, the love of his life.  Without knowing he can't come back, Jaejoong was confident that this is going to be his last time, not knowing it's going to take away his life and taking himself away from Effy's life. At the end, Effy reached her dreams and her goals of becoming a famous graphic designer with the money that Jaejoong earned from his mission, paying with his life. I can see the deep contrast that Jaejoong was the love of Effy's life and becoming a famous graphic designer was her dream she wants to chase after yet, she can only have one thing. I was in shock that the story ended like that but it's the beauty in the imperfection that Jaejoong died but he's forever in Effy's heart. I liked how the story flashes between present and the past because it's the things happening currently in Effy's life and the memories clashing in her mind. The only thing I'd say as constructive critism is the grammar mistakes such as "stuffs", "go to here", etc. and the grammar usage sound stiff.

Total- 79.5//100