I opened my eyes.

It's tall. Very tall. And green.

"Do you like that, Wookie?" Mister asked.

My left arm felt itchy. It's covered with white cloth. My outfit's white too, and it smelled clean and always new.

But I nodded, and he ran his long fingers through my hair.

"Do you want to help me with the decoration?" he asked again, and I tasted the word. De-co-la-tion, I mouthed. I frowned. No. Not de-co-la-tion. What was it again?

"Wookie ah?" He repeated, raising his eyebrow. His eyebrows are full and pretty. I like his eyebrows.

I nodded, and he sighed in relief.

"Okay, this is the ornaments," he said as he opened a box full of light ball-like things. It's green. White. Red. Pretty colors all. "And this is the lights," he added, pointing at the long thin wire with small lamps. "Which one do you want to put first?"

I stared. The green one was nice. But red... Yes, red. Dark red. So pretty.

Red, and round. The light ball-like thing twinkled. I like it.

"Then red it is," he smiled. He saw my reaction.

He helped me hook it to the tree. It was pretty.

Mister smiled, a smile that I returned immediately. Mine didn't reach my eyes like his.

"I love you, Ryeowook-ah," he said, hands reaching out. I welcomed his hands, he hugged me close. They were warm and comfy, unlike any others. I stop thinking of bad things when he hug me.

Bad things. I did a lot of bad things. Mischievous, they said. Mister didn't know. Or just pretend not to see. He didn't judge me, and I like him. And he did bad things too. A lot of bad things, a lot worse. It's cute when he did.

"Oh, Ryeowook-ah, I hope you regain your memories soon," he said.

I stared. And stared some more. I tilted my head. I lied.

To doctors. To parents. To Mister. To me.

I know. I think. He wasn't Mister. He was someone else.

He was Cho Kyuhyun.

But if I said that he'd leave. Like before. Like always.

Bye bye. Was that so easy? It hurts inside, it hurts. 

Didn't it hurts for you, Mister?

"Time for you to sleep, Wookie."

He carried me up. I look like a princess in the movie. White clothes, white shoes. I squealed, and he laughed. I like how he laughed. So low, so rich, so pretty. I like him laughing. Very much.

Mister laid me down on bed. He covered me with white blankets. He kissed my forehead.

He stood up, smiling.

No, don't go.

I pulled the hem of his shirt. He froze. He turned around. And he looked at me like that. Like he was about to leave me.

I sob. My eyes were red and puffy. He wiped my tears with his hand. It's warm. I want to cry some more.

He climbed up the bed and hugged me again.

"Oh, Wookie, I'm not going anywhere."

But he did. I cried. You did.

That's why red's so pretty. Was it not? It made you come back.

Mister's phone rang, and I was alarmed when he stop hugging me. You were not going to distract him from me! He's mine! 

I grabbed the phone. I threw it across the room. It stopped ringing.

"Ryeowook!" he hissed. I frowned, crying, and he stood up and went to take it back.

No. NO! You said you like me! Stay beside me, love me! 

DON'T EVER LEAVE!

Red.

Yes. Red, red, red!

Red would stop him.

I grabbed something sharp on the nightstand. I didn't know what was it. Not that I care. I slashed my hand deeply. I winced. Red started pouring out.

It hurts! I started to shake uncontrollably. My body trembled. It hurts. It hurts a lot.

My hand... My chest. Why was it hurting this much, mister? Why? Why?

Don't you love me?

"No, no, no! Ryeowook-ah!" He ran towards me, eyes wide. "NO!"

I blanked out.

_____

I opened my eyes. 

It's big. Very big. And green.

"Do you like that, Wookie?" Mister asked.

My wrist felt itchy. It's covered with white cloth. My outfit's white too, and it smelled clean and always new.

But I nodded, and he ran his fingers through my hair.

______

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Edited 24.09.2017